!Warning! Suicidal thoughts/actions.
I'm sorry about this story I really am. This is more of a vent write than anything.
I do not own Haikyuu or the characters.
Why is the world like this?
Yamaguchi shuddered and slumped over. He couldn't stop the hot tears from running down his red, blotchy face.
Why does everything hurt so much?
With trembling fingers, he reached for the knob on his bedside drawer.
Why am I so useless?
He slowly pulled the razor out, rubbing his thumb across the cold metal.
Can't I just be happy? Don't I deserve to be happy?
He drew a shaky breath, raising him arm to meet the blade.
No. You don't deserve happiness.
A quick slash down the wrist.
You're a mistake.
Pain blossomed and spread throughout his arm. Crimson blood rose to the surface, spilling over the side of the wound.
You're an ugly freak.
He brought the razor edge to his skin again, this time dragging it slowly across his flesh. The blood seeped out slower this time, dripping onto his clothes and bed.
You deserve to feel this pain. You're a wreck! A freak! Nobody loves you! Tsukki would never love you!
Yamaguchi felt his heart stop. He knew his last thought to be more true than any other. Why would Tsukishima love him?
He felt a different kind of pain. It felt as if his chest were being crushed. His shoulders suddenly felt ten tons heavier.
He felt his hands begin to shake again, and he dropped the sharp razor, splattering drops of blood across his bedsheets. Tears continued to flow down his face as he raised a trembling palm to his face.
He clutched his now stained shirt with his other hand as he tried to calm his erratic breathing. He gasped for air, finding it difficult to even draw in a breath. He couldn't take this anymore.
Yamaguchi felt as if his chest exploded, and he could no longer contain it. He let out a painful scream. He screamed as loud as he could, clenching his fists and squeezing his eyes shut. He kept screaming, screaming until his vocal cords didn't allow sound to come out.
He curled up on his bed, wincing as the cloth rubbed over the exposed skin. Once he had calmed down, he felt his muscles weaken. He slumped over, a sense of numbness washing over him. He no longer felt. He no longer cared. Nothing mattered.
"Tsukki.. I'm sorry I'm like this. Maybe if I weren't ugly. Maybe if I was a better person. Maybe then you would love me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I like this. I'm sorry I love you."
His eyelids grew heavy, and he drew in a final shaky breath before drifting off to an uneasy sleep.
This was a very quick story but honestly there might be a second chapter, just to see Yama be happy.