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Steve sat in his office and the memories came forward, unwanted. The images flashed before his eyes interspersed with the staccato cracks of gunfire. Though his eyes stared directly ahead through the glass wall before him, all he saw were the horrors that he had seen. He watched again as blood welled up from Jenna's lifeless body. He remembered the terrifying utter confusion at being asked about Shelbourne. Keeping his cool around Wo Fat while he tortured him had nearly shattered his sanity. He sat there, powerless to stop the twisted montage of memories. He didn't realize that he had sat there for a little over two hours. His team noticed. Finally, when Steve started shaking, Danny acted. Slowly, he walked into Steve's office. His partner took no notice
"Steve?" No response. Weary of his friend's extensive training and fragile mental state, Danny placed a hand on Steve's shoulder. He blinked then shifted his gaze to Danny.
"You with me partner?" Steve blinked at him again.
"Yeah…I'm good. Did we get anything on Todd Mercer?" He said, choosing to focus on Five-0's current case rather than himself. Danny ignored his question about Mercer.
"You are most certainly not good, Steven. I know what you're going through can't be easy." Steve remained silent. "Talk to me man. You keep this all inside and it's just going to eat you up until there's nothing left." Steve swallowed hard.
"Danny, you don't understand-"
"Then help me to! I'm no shrink, but I've seen enough of it to know when someone has PTSD. You are obviously not ok."
"Danny, I'm fine."
"Fine? Are you really going to do that now? Every day you go off into your office and stare into space for a few hours, totally unresponsive. Your hands still shake like crazy. You barely eat. I can tell you're not sleeping. And you pulled a gun on Kono when she tapped you on the shoulder. And don't say you were just surprised. She was yelling to you for five minutes. Now, we are your friends. I am your partner. The least you can do for us after we went and got you in North Korea is let us in. Let me help you."
"I-I…I'm sorry. I just...you all have so much on your plate and…"
"And what? You think we wouldn't care. Wouldn't want to hear? Haven't we already proved what we'd be willing to do for you? We would move heaven and earth for you, Steve." Steve nodded and stared into the eyes of his partner. His unlikely brother.
"C'mon. We're going to go back to your place and you're going to talk to me. The others can handle it here." He led Steve by the arm through the rest of the office and out to the Camaro. They drove to Steve's in silence. When they arrived, Danny grabbed to beers from the fridge and brought them out to the lanai. They sat quietly, waiting for Steve to be ready. When he spoke at last, his voice was hoarse and uncertain.
"Am I crazy for wanting to save her? She turned me over to Wo Fat, but I still feel responsible for her death. She wasn't a field agent. I never should have let her come."
"Do you really think you could have stopped her from coming? This was her fiancé. And no, you're not crazy. We all wanted to save her, but how can you blame yourself for her death? Wo Fat fired the gun. Not you. How could you have stopped him, huh? You were chained to the ceiling and your legs were so weak you couldn't even support yourself at the time. Jenna realized she screwed up. She called us and told us where to find you. She slid you that pin. In the end, Jenna was the guilty one who needed to atone for what she'd done. Not you. Yes, she paid with her life. That's how it goes sometimes. It sucks, but we have to deal with it." They were silent a beat while they let that sink in.
"I've been trained to endure torture, but to be honest, if I had known who Shelbourne was, I don't know if I would've talked. I might've told him everything. I could've gotten Shelbourne killed." He was shaking now, and Danny took the beer from his hand so it wouldn't fall to the ground and shatter. Danny knew he was still remembering what Wo Fat had done to him.
"You need to stop blaming yourself for these could-have-beens. The truth is, you don't know who Shelbourne is. We don't know what would have happened if you did, but that's not important. It will never be an issue. It's over now, Steve. Think about the here and now. We got you home. We came for you. We always will." Tears stung Steve's eyes.
"I didn't think you were coming. When they put me in that truck, I was so sure I wasn't going to survive. I really believed that was it. I've been in some pretty bad situations before, but none like that. I really thought I was alone this time."
"Well you weren't. And you won't ever be. No matter what, we will always protect each other. Remember what you said when we swore Kono in? 'We care for each other like a family'. I know you meant those words. So did we. We got your back one hundred percent." He placed a hand on Steve's quaking shoulder and he glanced up. Where he had expected to see contempt for his weakness, he saw the fierce loyalty, bravery, and kindness that only Danny's eyes had. He returned Danny's smile.
"Thank you." Those two words were simple, but they said more to Danny. Steve knew he wasn't ok yet, but he would get there. With his friends every step of the way.
Kinda corny, but I watched the Notebook last night. Cut me some slack if I'm a little cheesy. I do appreciate your reviews and I promise to update my other stories. Love you all!
