Things I'll Never Say

By Ai Usagi

恋愛中の秋キスをしてください

Disclaimer: I do NOT own either the manga of Ouran High School Host Club or the song Things I'll Never Say by Avril Lavigne. That stuff all belongs to the big companies, not a bored thirteen year old girl who has way too much free time.

Author's Note: This is NOT a song fic, but is merely based off of a song. Please also take note that this does contain spoilers for chapters 1-77, and I wrote this while impatiently waiting for chapter 78's release. Thank you for reading this, you guys all rock!!! And wow, do I feel so cheesy while writing this….but then again, it is a cheesy song. Sometimes, songs like Thing's I'll Never Say by Avril Lavigne make me think I need to find some way to shut down the part of my brain that has been abducted by shojou manga and how hopelessly romantic some of it can be…..yep, well, I'll just hurry on with the fanfic….

恋愛中の秋キスをしてください

Haruhi's POV

I silently start to tug at my hair, then I'm pulling at my clothes, I'm trying to keep my cool, but I know it shows. I stare at my feet, my cheeks are turning red, and even though I not supposed to, I'm searching for the words in my head. Avoiding you really isn't working that well, it's got me feeling nervous, trying to be so perfect, but deep inside, I know you're worth it. If I could say what I wanted to, I'd say something to the line of that I want to blow you away, be with you every night, and even though this is not a verbal line but more of an action, I'd want to embrace you tight.

If I could see what I want to see, I would want to see no doubt, please still be with me today, but I'm guessing I'm wasting my life away with these silly little things I'll never say. It don't do me any good, it's just a waste of time. What use is it to you? What's on my mind? If it isn't coming out, then I guess we aren't going anywhere. So, why is it that I can't just tell how much I care, because I'm feeling so nervous, always trying to be perfect, but I know you're worth it? These are things I'll never say, but if I had the choice, I would always tell you how much I want to blow you away, how much I would want to be with you every night, and hug you just a little bit too tight. But I'm only wasting another day of my life, with these things I'll never say.

If I could see what I want to see, I would want to see you with me, but once again, here I am wasting my life away with these words I'll never say. What's wrong with my tongue, because every once in a while, these words keep slipping out. Then I start to stutter, and then I start to stumble, as if I have nothing to say today.

You're starting to make me feel nervous, because do you know how hard it is trying to act this perfect, but either way, I know you're worth it.

"Oh, I'm sorry." I had just unconsciously run into someone, both of our textbooks and papers scattered all around the marble flooring of the extravagant hallways. I don't even look up at the stranger, for I am still thinking about what you've done to me, and then I see. I look up for just a tad second, and see your face as bright as a tomato, and notice you're looking down at my hand. My eyes follow the direction of yours, and I instantly regretted even looking at my hand. Once again, the ootoro ring you had given me at New Year's, was accidently on that finger again. My face was probably even redder than yours, but I tried to shake it off. I sent a glare towards you as if to imply that it was an accident, but you didn't even notice.

I could tell you wanted to say something, but I saw you bight down on your lips to resist saying whatever stupid thing you were going to say. I quickly grabbed all of my textbooks as you did the same, and headed off towards the opposite direction of you, but I could swear I thought I heard something slip out of your throat,

"I'm sorry, Haruhi, but I guess I'm just wasting my life away with these things I'll never say." I turned around to catch you hand me over one last smile, and I couldn't help but smile along with you.

"I guess I am too, Senpai." I turned back around and headed back towards the opposite route of the one which you had been traveling. Maybe, I reluctantly thought, these two, no matter the circumstances, we just aren't that good at avoiding each other. We're just wasting are lives away with these things we'll never say.

恋愛中の秋キスをしてください

So, what'd you think? Good, bad, horrible, okay? Criticism is allowed here!!! (But so is praise :P) In my opinion, this fanfic wasn't exactly my best. I'll try to make a better one for you next time, because a brain could only function with sleep, that of which I never do!! XD Any ways, thanks for reading, and I hope you weren't as depressed as I was when I read chapter 78 (even though it did explain so much!!)!! n.n And wow, these sentences in my fanfic are too choppy, but oh well, I guess I'll just leave them like that, because I'm too lazy to edit them!! XD

恋愛中の秋キスをしてください