Warning: Un-Beta-ed (I think I may have even ended a few sentences with a preposition *gasp*) Very…well raw and intense, one of those crazy emotive pieces that the bunnies me do but I hope you like!
Wet Eyes
"Two A.M and I'm still awake writing a song, If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me, Threatening the life it belongs to."
Slumped against her bedroom wall, Rose Tyler let out a forced sardonic laugh. Laughing, only to cover up the tears trickling down her face. There, she sat with a red-blotched face, long since forgotten blonde hair that was wet, thick and wiry. Knowing that no one could hear her cries. Who did she think she was? An anxious and awkward nineteen year-old shop-girl, with no future. Absolutely nothing compared to the elegant and educated Reinette Poisson. Madame De Pompadour, uncrowned queen of France. I didn't hurt much when The Doctor announced Reinette would be traveling with them, but maybe that was because she was already in pain. When the Doctor so openly chose Reinette, to be stuck in a singular place forever, with her, and to leave Rose behind, Rose experienced pain.
When her first boyfriend had dumped her, that hurt. Yet it was a pain that was very soon forgotten. The Doctor, the man she loved had been willing to leave her so completely and absolutely alone and shut off from eternity. To spend it with some else, someone who utterly deserved it.
The Doctor and Reinette.
The thought of them together, many of which may have been imaginations, made Rose heave with sobs. Him talking to Reinette like he had talked to her. Touching her like had so often touched her.
She could have never guessed, that it would hurt this much. No wonder it was called a broken heart. That's where it hurt. That's what it felt like. Broken. A sharp, searing, engulfing pain that couldn't be seen, only felt. Slowly, and agonizingly tearing at her from the inside.
It was slightly unclear to her as to the exact reason for which she was crying. With so many emotions running through her it was difficult to pick out just one. Hate, a prominent one, but for who? The Doctor, no it wasn't his fault, was it? Reinette, not her fault either. Herself. An easy target, with no voice to defend. Jealously, that was simple. Confusion; He had shown her the universe, shown her herself, now he moved on to someone new. Frustration; knowing no matter what happens, she'll always forgive him. Love; both people whom she deeply admired, and were clearly a perfect match, why wasn't she happy for them. No, she was, but only because they were happy. Disappointment; in him, in herself, in the whole of existence. Deep, and utter loneliness.
The next morning he dares to hold her again, ask her those questions, give her that look. Pretending to be simply enjoying one another's company, pretending that it doesn't hurt, that she didn't cry herself to sleep. He doesn't know that every touch makes it hurt more. She knows that by the afternoon, she will be forgotten, replaced.
He looks into her eyes. Two dark windows, and as he peers into her soul, she knows, he knows something is troubling her. Every inch of her aches to tell him. A time when she could have told him anything and everything, gone. How can she tell him that it's he's hurting her. How can she tell him and hurt him. How can she tell him to fix it, when she herself doesn't know how.
He asks if she is alright. She responds in the usual way. The only lie she's ever told him.
He asks her why there are tears in her eyes. She can't answer. Can't bear to explain the truth, no lie sufficient.
With that Rose Tyler explains how they are only wet eyes. Wet eyes.
"And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd, Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud, And I know that you'll use them, however you want to."