A/N: This is my 5th submission (the official one) for Seblaine Week #2 - Day 6 (Angst). This is by far the longest one-shot I've ever written and this is originally a GKM fill and also the first long GKM fill that I have ever completed. Please note that this fic contains non-con and blangst. To my dear readers, if you like this, please rec and review it! Also, I have a Tumblr where I post my Seblaine drabbles and fan art. I'd be honored if you can please follow me at "rykerstrom . tumblr . com". Thanks and enjoy!
THE ORDER
The light from the white screen gave off a ghostly glow in the darkness, its message displaying ominously like a harbinger of things to come.
A trembling hand hovered over the touch screen, hesitating over the choice that was about to be made. The fingers curled into fist as an internal battle waged on within their owner. The eyes that were previously closed in deep thoughts finally opened, revealing a pair of amber eyes as they took in the message again.
ORDER OBJECTIVE: TERMINATE SEBASTIAN SMYTHE
"Accepted."
Age(s): Fourteen (Blaine); Fourteen (Sebastian)
They met when they were fourteen. Blaine had been at the training center for one month and he was already hoping that he would get lucky and get assigned a desk job.
He just wasn't cut out for this kind of things. Blaine winced when he heard another thump next to him. Some guy just got flipped over during their combat practice and that looked like a pretty painful hit.
"Anderson, you're up." The instructor called out.
"Smythe, you spar with him."
Oh, this just isn't fair. Blaine sighed inwardly when he saw his opponent. The boy opposing him was taller and bigger than he was, but that wasn't the only thing that was unfair. The boy was incredibly gorgeous. With medium brown hair that looked soft to the touch, a defined cheekbones and striking facial features, and a pair of sea green eyes. Good God, those eyes! Blaine was sure that even if he was straight, he would get lost in those eyes forever.
"Take a picture." The boy quipped. "Although you'd probably already be dead if you keep staring like this."
"Wh—" Blaine never had a chance to finish the sentence because the next thing he knew, he had the his breath knocked out of him as his sparring partner picked him up and slammed him down hard onto the mat.
"Like I said, you'd be dead."
At that moment, Blaine wished more than anything else to wipe that smirk off the boy's face. So he pulled his arm back and gave the boy a good right hook, sending him stumbling back.
"And so would you." Blaine's breathing was still labored, his back hurt and he was pretty sure he'd get bruises later. But if there was one thing he couldn't stand, it'd be arrogance.
"Good one." The boy rubbed his jaw and extended his hand. "Sebastian Smythe."
"Blaine And—"
Blaine found himself pinned to the ground again, unable to breathe as Sebastian pressed his forearm against his throat.
"And you're dead, again." Sebastian grinned. "Dinner?"
"What?" Blaine wasn't sure if he heard it right.
"Bang! You died at least three times in the last minute." Sebastian imitated the motion of pulling the trigger. "Hey! Instructor what's-your-face! Can I get a new partner? This one sucked."
Blaine had never felt more humiliated in his life. He knew he was no good at this whole young spy-in-training thing, and it wasn't like he wanted to be here; but to have someone his age make a fool out of him in front of everyone was too much.
"You, Sebastian, are a jerk!" Blaine sat up, fuming. "If you didn't play dirty, I would've won."
That wasn't entirely true, but Blaine didn't care.
"Oh?" Sebastian raised his eyebrows in amusement.
"I demand a rematch." With some effort, Blaine picked himself back up from the floor.
"Yeah, whatever." Sebastian tipped his chin up challenge. "If I win, I get a kiss." The wink that Sebastian tagged on at the end of his sentence made Blaine's face turn red.
There were laughter and catcalls around them. Could this get any worse?
"If I win, and I will, I want a public apology." Blaine clenched his jaws tightly. He wouldn't give anyone the ammunition to make him feel worse. So what if he was gay? Why couldn't people just leave him be?
"Deal."
And that was how Sebastian Smythe stole his first kiss.
It had been an almost impossible task to track down Sebastian Smythe. But Blaine was a professional, he had been one for three years now. The agency had trained him well, and with a lot of hard work and perseverance, Blaine Anderson was now one of the very best they had.
He had thrown the last three years of his life into training. Blaine never considered himself to be any good at this. He made up for it by sleeping less and training more than others. It helped him take his minds of things.
Specifically, Sebastian Smythe.
Blaine had been obsessed with finding Sebastian Smythe ever since he disappeared three years ago. It was a betrayal of the worst sort, to find that the one person that he cared about had gone rogue and killed two of Blaine's friends, betraying the agency and the country while at it.
Blaine wasn't sure what hurt the most. The fact that he never saw it coming, or the fact that what he thought they had together turned out to be a lie.
Still, when all was said and done, Blaine didn't feel ready. He knew that in theory, he should be ready to take Sebastian on; but Sebastian had always been the better of the two. If anything, Sebastian had been the best they had in a very long time. It was a damaging blow to the agency in more ways than one when Sebastian left them behind.
Blaine wanted to know why. There had to be a reason for what Sebastian did. He refused to believe that Sebastian was a traitor and a cold-hearted killer.
Even though all of them were trained to be cold-hearted killers, up until this day, Blaine Anderson had yet to kill anyone. He had been in the field and he had brought back fugitives and criminals of the state, but never once did he have to kill. In the back of his mind, he wondered whether he would really be able to go through with any of it; and of all the people that he had to kill, Sebastian Smythe was definitely not on his list.
Even if Sebastian did allegedly kill Blaine's best friend.
Allegedly. Because there was still a part of Blaine that wish it was a mistake, a misunderstanding of some sort.
The apartment security was tricky, but Blaine had prepared for it. Sebastian Smythe wouldn't be Sebastian Smythe if he lived in a shoddy and ill-secured place. For once, Blaine was grateful for his smaller built, as it made crawling through the air vents much easier. After making sure that there were no additional security cameras being hidden in the hallway, Blaine dropped down quietly and inched his way to the front door.
A close look at the door informed Blaine that the lock was made of one of the latest encrypted technology while the door was made of thick layer of iridium. Something like this would generally stump most people, but Blaine Anderson wasn't most people.
Not anymore.
The apartment seemed deserted. Even without turning on the lights, Blaine could see that Sebastian had been living a rather good life. The unit was made up of expensive decors and furniture, with valuable pieces of art being put on displays throughout the place. A quick but thorough scan from the doorway had informed Blaine that there was no additional security.
Good. Now Blaine could get to work and prepare for everything.
Age(s): Fifteen (Blaine); Fourteen (Sebastian)
"So why did you join?" Blaine took a bite of his salad, looking at the boy before him quizzically.
"Why did you join?" Sebastian countered.
"I asked you first." It seemed strange that Sebastian would get defensive about this. It was uncharacteristic of the boy who had humiliated him two months ago.
"I'm doing the exact opposite of what my parents wanted." Sebastian shrugged and took a sip of his sparkling water. "Because apparently someone from the Old Money should never go into this line of work and risk his life for the country."
"But you aren't really in it for patriotic reason, are you?"
Sebastian let out a laugh.
"Fuck no." Sebastian lowered his voice and gave a quick glance around them. "Training kids our age to become killers? I don't care one way or the other. I'm just doing this cuz I hate my parents."
"So you're just going to risk your own life to prove a point?"
"It's not like I have much to look forward to. This is way more interesting, don't you think?" Sebastian had a self-satisfying smirk on his face.
"I think that's just self-destructive and foolish." Blaine stabbed at his salad, having lost his appetite. He would give everything to not be at the facility.
"Says the self-righteous individual who is also at the facility." Sebastian cocked his head in curiosity. "What brought you here?"
"My parents disowned me."
"Oh, really?" There seemed to be a new look of admiration in those green eyes. "What'd you do? Got someone pregnant? Killed someone?"
"No! I would nev—I don't even—" Blaine sputtered. "Nothing of that sort, thank you very much!"
"Of course not. God forbid they let a juvenile delinquent into the program where they need everyone to become an efficient killer!" Sebastian rolled his eyes.
"Was that sarcasm?"
"Yes." Sebastian leaned forward on the table and rested his chin on his hand. "So, why?"
"You are really intrusive, you know that? And nosy too."
"But you're going to tell me anyway." Blaine couldn't help but wonder if he would ever possess the kind of confidence that seemed to come so easily for Sebastian.
"I'm gay. Mom doesn't like it."
"That's it?"
"They'd rather invest their resources on my straight older brother." Blaine glanced down at his plate. "Exact words."
"And sending you to your death is the only solution they can think of?" Blaine looked up and was surprised to see the steely gaze in Sebastian's eyes. "Your parents are fucking morons. I would've done it differently."
"What? Force me to date girls?" The idea of even going on a date with a girl made Blaine's skin crawl.
"Hell no!" Sebastian looked offended by the idea. "I would've set you up with me and spread the gay all around."
Blaine just stared.
"Although ..." A slow smile spread across Sebastian's feature as he reached out and covered Blaine's hand with his. "I think they inadvertently did that anyway."
"Is this-" Words caught in Blaine's throat. "Is this your way of asking me out?"
"If you want to look at it that way, sure." Sebastian grinned. "I say we give those parents of yours the middle finger and shove your gayness back in their faces."
"H-how?"
Sebastian raised his eyebrows as if to say Do I really have to repeat myself again?
"Okay."
There was nothing personal about the way Sebastian had arranged everything in his place. At first glance, it looked like an extravagant bachelor pad, but there was nothing at home about this place. No photos, no mails, and not even books. Aside from the random art pieces being displayed, there was nothing here that depicted the personality or preference of the owner. Even the art pieces appeared clinical and contrived. It was as though the owner was a transient and had intended on staying one.
The thought somehow made Blaine feel melancholy.
Blaine rounded the corner and found himself facing the stairway to the master bedroom. He knew he shouldn't feel nervous about this, but somehow he was. His palms felt sweaty as he clenched and unclenched his fingers. As Blaine made his way carefully up the stairs to the loft to the bedroom, he found himself fending off the memories that was threatening to overcome him.
Compartmentalizing one's emotions was something Blaine had always struggled with.
The bedroom was spacious and minimally furnished with a work desk in a corner, a built-in open closet, and a king-sized bed. Blaine wondered who else might have occupied this bed in the past years. He shook his head as he tried to clear his mind of such thoughts. This wasn't what Blaine had come to do.
Suddenly, he felt the blunt end of what was most likely a gun barrel pressed against his back.
"Bang!" said a familiar voice. "You're dead."
The sound of Sebastian's voice brought back an onslaught of memories, and with them, a sense of longing. Blaine shut his eyes for a brief moment as he tried to compose himself. He had to keep a clear head. Now was not the time for reminiscing.
Blaine raised his arms up as a gesture of surrendering. In situations like this one, it wouldn't do for him to try to take the other head on. He had to buy time and catch Sebastian off guard.
"Just take it easy, all right?" Blaine tried to keep his voice level. Even though he would like to think that Sebastian didn't kill those people, there was enough fear instilled in him from the reports he had read that he knew he had to play it safe. "I don't have any weapons."
"Not in your hands, but-" Blaine felt a hand slid down his side to his belt. "I know you'd hidden them somewhere else."
It was a game they used to play, back when things were less complicated. But this wasn't a game, this was life and death. Blaine brought his arms down suddenly and elbowed Sebastian in his gut before spinning around to throw a punch.
Which Sebastian caught squarely in one hand.
Before Blaine had a chance to throw the other punch, Sebastian brought up the hand with the gun and pistol-whipped Blaine on the left side of his skull, sending him tumbling back and tripping over the bed.
Sebastian was on him in seconds, pinning Blaine's wrists above him and exerting pressure at a key pressure point, effectively immobilizing him.
"So, they've sent you to kill me, how disappointing." Sebastian's voice was low and his breath hot against Blaine's ear. The close proximity made him shiver. "I was expecting someone better."
Anger flared up inside of Blaine at the insults. How dared Sebastian? How dared he kill his friends? How dared he betray the agency and his country?
How dared he leave Blaine behind?
Blaine bucked up hard but to no avail. The pressure Sebastian used on his pressure point was designed to use Blaine's own strength against him. The harder Blaine push, the harder it would be to get free. So instead, Blaine brought up his leg and tried to knee Sebastian in the groin. He managed to kick Sebastian, but not where he wanted.
Sebastian didn't even flinch when he was kicked in the stomach, but he did drop his gun and loosened his hold enough for Blaine to roll away. Blaine made a grab for the gun but Sebastian kicked it away at the last minute and went after it himself. Blaine wrapped his fingers around Sebastian's ankle and tugged hard, sending the other man sprawling onto the floor with a loud crash, knocking the bedside lamp over in the process and sending shattered glass everywhere.
The gun was lying a few feet away from Blaine. Without thinking twice, Blaine made another try for the gun, hoping that this time he would get it before Sebastian.
Age(s): Sixteen (Blaine); Sixteen (Sebastian)
Consciousness came too slowly for Blaine. He felt weak, as though all the energy and strength had been drained out of him. He wanted to move but his limbs wouldn't respond. But in spite of it, he could see and hear everything clearly. It was almost as though he was paralyzed. Dimly, he wondered if the blow he suffered earlier had caused some neural damage.
"Trust the agency to send the amateurs." The man known as Cooter had a large and bulky built and based on what little Blaine knew of their target, this was someone who had been selling sensitive information to the terrorist operatives. And in spite of all the preparations Sebastian and Blaine had done, this man was still smart enough to see them coming. "Cat got your tongue?"
"Fuck you!" Sebastian spat out before grimacing in pain. Blaine wished he could do something about the situation. He watched on hopelessly as Cooter gave Sebastian another kick in the ribs.
"I can't let either of you out of this alive, especially now that you've seen my face." Cooter said casually as he packed up his things. "Plastic surgeries can be so expensive and I happen to like my face just fine."
"No amount of money's gonna fix that ugly mug of yours."
Blaine winced when Cooter punched Sebastian across the face. He could hear a sickening crack when the force of the blow knocked taller boy over. He knew that Sebastian was trying to buy time for them, but the entire situation just seemed so hopeless when Blaine was still paralyzed. He concentrated hard and willed himself to move. A sharp pain shot up his arm muscle as Blaine flexed his fingers.
Pain was good news in this case. It meant he was regaining motor control of his body, but it needed to happen sooner rather than later. Blaine tried to move his other arm and he breathed an inward sigh of relief when he was able to shift a bit. Blaine looked across the room at Sebastian, and their eyes met. Sebastian held his gaze before shifting his eyes quickly to the side. Blaine glanced at the same direction and saw a small knapsack.
Their weapons.
"You're a cocky little shit, aren't you? They probably don't let you guys out much. I know what goes on in those places." Cooter crouched down by Sebastian's side. Sebastian was breathing hard, there was blood on the side of his head and at the corner of his mouth, and a nasty bruise was starting to form on the left side of his jaw. It was clear that Cooter did a number on him when Blaine was unconscious. "So tell me, are you and that boy over there fucking?"
"How pathetic that you want to know about our sex lives." Even in his beaten state, Sebastian's voice was still dripping with sarcasm. "I guess all that money still can't buy you a fuck."
Blaine's eyes widened in horror when Cooter wrapped his fingers around Sebastian's neck. Adrenaline pumped through his body as he willed himself to sit up and reach for the knapsack. He pulled out a small knife before slamming himself hard against Cooter, sending them both sprawling.
"Blaine!" Sebastian was somewhere nearby, but Blaine couldn't tell where. He hit his head on his way down, and everything seemed to be moving in slow motion for him. Blaine felt fingers closed around his neck and Cooter's angry face above him.
He couldn't breathe. He tried to pry those fingers away but Cooter had him in a vice-like grip.
I'm going to die. Blaine thought. I'm never going to live past twenty-five and spend the rest of my days with Sebastian.
He heard the sound of metal connecting with flesh followed by a howl of pain, and then those fingers were gone. Blaine rolled over to his side, gasping for air and coughing. It took him a few seconds to notice the steady and sickening sound of something hard hitting the flesh. Blaine looked up and what he saw made him feel sick to his stomach.
Sebastian had in his hand a fire extinguisher. There was a wild look in his eyes as he raised the object above his head and brought it down on Cooter, again and again. The larger man's face was bloody, most likely from the initial hit. Cooter tried to block the onslaught futilely but the initial hit had most likely caused enough damage to affect his reflexes.
"Stop! Sebastian, stop!" Blaine wrapped his arms around Sebastian's waist and tried to pull the taller boy off the injured man. "You're going to kill him! We need him alive!"
Sebastian didn't seem to hear Blaine, instead he tried to fling Blaine off of him while Blaine tried to hold on as tightly as he could. A sharp pain exploded in his ankle as Blaine felt himself being shoved aside and landed the wrong way. Gritting his teeth, he went after Sebastian again. Blaine didn't care if his ankle was broken, he couldn't let Sebastian make a mistake. However, he never did reach Sebastian. Blaine collapsed onto his knees as his ankle gave out on him again, giving out a cry of pain as he went down. His sound of distress seemed to snap Sebastian out of his trance. Blaine was soon aware of a pair of strong arms embracing him and gently lifting him up.
"I'm so sorry, Blaine. I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" Sebastian kept repeating under his breath. "I didn't mean it. Shit, I'm sorry."
"I'm fine." Blaine winced as he put too much weight on his ankle. "Cooter?"
Before him was a man prone on the ground, a small pool of blood had started to gather around his head. There was so much red, so much more than what Blaine was used to seeing.
"Oh God, did I—did I kill him?" Although they were trained to kill, the idea of murdering someone was still a concept that neither of them had yet to accept
"He's still breathing." Blaine couldn't help but feel relieved.
"I just—the moment I saw him strangling you I just—"
"I know. Come on, let's contact the cleanup crew and the medical team. They'll bring Cooter back for us" Blaine tugged at Sebastian gently and motioned for him to move toward the door. "Let's just get out of here."
"Okay." Sebastian let out a shaky breath and nodded. "Let's go."
Blaine would never forget the one time when Sebastian lost control.
The gun was just within arm's reach. It was close yet so far away. Blaine knew he had to get to the gun first, in a situation like this, it could mean life and death. Unfortunately for him, Blaine barely managed to get far enough to reach for the gun before he was yanked back by his hair and thrown back onto the bed.
Blaine heard a click and felt something hard and cold around his wrist. He looked up and felt his stomach turned with dread when he saw the handcuff.
"Do you remember the last time we used this?" Sebastian's teeth grazed lightly against his ear. "I remember it, very clearly."
"Don't!" Blaine warned.
"You're in no position to give out orders." He could feel Sebastian smirking against his skin. "So tell me, what kind of bullshit had they been feeding you?"
Blaine pulled at the handcuff hard and immediately felt a sharp pain shooting up his arm. This wouldn't do. There was no way he could break this.
"You couldn't escape last time," Sebastian's breath was ghosting over his skin as he pressed soft little kisses along the column of Blaine's throat. "What makes you think it'd be different this time?"
"Tr—traitor!" Blaine gritted out. "You're a traitor and a killer."
He regretted those words as soon as he said them. He felt Sebastian tensing beneath him, a telltale sign that the other man was getting angry.
The sound of fabric ripping cut through the air like a knife. Blaine renewed his struggle and tried to use his free hand to push Sebastian away. He felt something hard connecting with his jaw and an explosion of pain burst through his skull. Blaine shut his eyes tightly as he willed his world back in focus. When he opened his eyes again, Blaine could see Sebastian's face inches away from his, his gaze so cold that for the first time since he saw Sebastian again, Blaine felt a stab of fear coursing through his veins.
"Traitor? I'm a traitor?" There was a hard edge to Sebastian's voice. "What else have they been telling you? Of all people, I would've expected more from you."
Blaine said nothing. He couldn't trust himself to say anything right now. Doubt went through his mind as he tried to stay conscious through his pain-filled haze. The two blows that he received to the head would most likely have caused a concussion and impaired his judgment.
But in spite of that, he wanted to believe Sebastian. He wanted to hear the truth and hope that it was all a great misunderstanding.
"Ah, the silent treatment." The smirk was back on Sebastian's face. "I'll get you to make some noise. I always do."
Age(s): Seventeen (Blaine); Seventeen (Sebastian)
"Stop moving!"
"You try not moving when someone presses an alcohol soaked cloth onto an open cut!" Sebastian shot back, his expression a mixture of pain and annoyance. "Fuck! Why don't you just douse my cut with it while you're at it?"
Blaine bit down hard on his lower lip. This was his fault. If he hadn't been so careless, Sebastian wouldn't have gotten hurt. It just once again came to re-affirm that he wasn't suited for this line of work, but he had no choice. The agency raised him, and that meant he was tied to them until he was twenty-five.
Assuming he could live that long because based on what just happened, Blaine wasn't sure if he would live to see twenty-five.
"Look, Blaine—I didn't mean what I just said."
"I'm sorry." Blaine pressed the gauze onto the cut carefully before he started with the dressing. "I should've been careful."
"There's no way we could've predicted that." Sebastian's gaze was fixed on something directly in front of him. "We were ambushed."
"This isn't the first time I've gotten you hurt." Blaine sighed as he put the first aid kit away. The wound would most likely leave a scar on Sebastian's shoulder. Blaine felt terrible about this, he knew how much Sebastian care about his appearance; moreover, he had put Sebastian in the path of danger. "You shouldn't have pushed me out of the way."
"What? And let you get shot?" Sebastian finally turned his gaze on Blaine. The taller boy clenched his jaw in anger. "Those dumbasses should've never assigned this to us. We're fucking amateurs."
"Still—" The rest of his sentence was swallowed up in a kiss when Sebastian suddenly pressed him down onto the bed.
"I can't let anything bad to happen to you." Sebastian's voice was soft when he finally pulled away, his face so close to Blaine's that he could see the dark lashes that fanned out at the tip. "And I won't."
"Sebas—" Whatever it was that Blaine wanted to say was temporarily forgotten when Sebastian's lips descended on his again. Blaine loved kissing Sebastian. He loved being close to him, to feel his warmth and closeness all around him. While they hadn't met on the best terms, Blaine was glad for how things had turned out so far.
"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me." Sebastian murmured into his skin.
And that was when Blaine knew that he was lost for good.
Blaine tugged at the handcuff again, wincing as he felt the metal cutting into his wrist. Sebastian had his other wrist pinned down at a strange angle, making every movement all the more painful. It was no use, he couldn't seem to escape no matter how hard he tried.
But the worst part of it all, was what Sebastian was doing to him.
"Do you miss my touch this much?" Finger brushed against his entrance teasingly before it pushed in without warning. Blaine sucked in a sharp breath at the intrusion, his fingers clenching into fists.
This was all wrong.
"St—stop!" Blaine pulled at his restraint as he tried to get away, but Sebastian held him fast. "If you're going to kill me, just get it over and done with. Sadism doesn't become you."
"Oh, and he speaks." One finger turned into two, making Blaine wince. But then Sebastian did something with them and Blaine was gasping as his body started reacting in the most unwanted way possible. Sebastian brushed his fingers against the same spot again, watching with an unreadable expression as Blaine tried his best to not react to his ministrations. When Sebastian pulled his fingers out, Blaine found himself torn between arousal and shame. "Admit it. You missed me even though you think I'm a killer and a traitor. So what does that make you?"
The tone of the voice that spoke above him was mocking and condescending; it was nothing like the Sebastian that Blaine had loved.
And still loved.
No, he couldn't let things happened this way, he must get free. Blaine resumed his struggle with a new found determination. He pulled at the metal cuff as hard as he could and used all of his upper body strength as he gave it a hard yank.
Everything happened far too quickly for Blaine to process properly.
There was a ripping pain in his shoulder as Blaine tried to get free, but before he could assess the damage to his shoulder, he was on his stomach with an all too familiar weight bearing down on him. Blaine felt something hard pressing against his entrance and then he was drowning in a sea of pain.
Age(s): Eighteen (Blaine); Eighteen (Sebastian)
Blaine gripped the headboard tightly as he tried to keep motor control of his body. It was an almost impossible task, especially when Sebastian was between his legs and staring up at him with those hungry eyes.
Blaine concluded that Sebastian was really good with his mouth.
Not that he really had anyone to compare that with, but it felt good and feeling good was what they both needed when death could be just around the corner; when their next mission could very well be their last.
Blaine gave a disappointed whine when Sebastian pulled off of him, but he reached out and accepted the taller boy's embrace when Sebastian repositioned himself on top of Blaine, their naked body pressed tightly together.
"I almost lost you today." Sebastian whispered as he planted small kisses on Blaine's forehead, eye lids, and lips. Blaine turned his face as he tried to kiss back.
"Sprained ankle, minor inconvenience." Blaine cupped the back of Sebastian's neck as he pulled him in closer for another series of kisses. "I'm still breathing. I've been hurt worse, you know that."
"That one time with Cooter was a close call." Sebastian agreed. "We were both pretty banged up."
"You had two broken ribs." Blaine ran his hand up Sebastian's side, counting ribs as his fingers moved over the heated skin. "A black eye, and a bruised jaw."
"And you had a concussion plus a broken ankle. I'm sorry about the ankle."
"It already healed, not to mention I get to stay out of missions for a month, I should be thanking you for it." Blaine gave Sebastian a small smile.
"None of our assignments were like today though." Sebastian reached down and covered Blaine's hand with his. "Today was too close, you could've- ."
"Everything turned out okay at the end." Blaine put his fingers on Sebastian's lips to stop those words from spilling forth. Sebastian was right, Blaine did almost die. If the assailant hadn't made the mistake of missing his step and dropping his gun, that bullet would've gone straight to Blaine's heart.
Sebastian kissed Blaine again, hard and hungry this time, like a drowning man craving for air. Blaine tried to keep up, his hands tangled in Sebastian's hair as he relished in the feeling of their heated skin against each other.
"Want you." Just like that, those words slipped out.
Sebastian didn't answer, but the look in his eyes told Blaine that if he had asked for the moon at that moment, Sebastian would've found a way to get it.
Nobody ever said the first time would be perfect; not to mention that a temporary makeshift safehouse was probably not the most ideal place for it. Blaine flushed with embarrassment when he knocked the glass of water over the bedside table in his attempt to find a more comfortable position; while Sebastian mumbled an apology when he pulled Blaine's hair by accident.
It was awkward and clumsy and even a bit painful, but the fact that this was Sebastian made all the discomfort negligible. There probably should've been a bit more preparation, but they were young, hormonal and impatient; and they wanted each other. Sebastian surged down and their mouths met in a series of heated and ravenous kisses. Blaine dug his fingers into Sebastian's arms when the taller boy pushed in, breaking off the kiss and letting out a wince when Sebastian did it just a little too fast and a little too abruptly.
"Shit!" Sebastian swore under his breath. "I'm sorry, it's just I—I uh—" There was a slight blush coloring Sebastian's cheeks even as he tried to hide his embarrassment.
"It's okay. Go slow."
Blaine wasn't sure how long Sebastian stayed still above him, but he would always remember the look on the other boy's face at that precise moment. Sebastian's eyes were shut tight, his face a look of concentration and restraint, his entire body taut from tension and the effort to hold still. When Sebastian opened his eyes again, Blaine couldn't help but draw him in for another kiss.
This was the boy who stood by him and protected him throughout these years at the facility. The only person in the whole world who seemed to understand and appreciate Blaine for who he was, and not who he wanted to be.
"I love you." Blaine didn't think Sebastian heard him, because these were words whispered in between kisses and in the heat of the moment, when both were overwhelmed by the sensation of being inside and being filled.
It wasn't like how things were portrayed in movies and videos. There was no exploding fireworks or life-changing epiphany. If anything, it was sweetly imperfect. Sebastian came before Blaine had a chance to become aroused again, having lost his erection earlier from the discomfort of the initial entry; but that was to be expected, they were young and still have yet to figure out the best way to make things work.
But it was all right, especially when Sebastian pulled out and started to kiss his way down Blaine's chest before taking him into his mouth and brought him to arousal again. This time, it didn't take long for Blaine to achieve orgasm, his vision whiting out around the edges as his climax hit him hard.
When he came back from the orgasm-induced haze, Blaine found Sebastian nestled up next to him, one arm wrapped around his shoulders protectively.
"I love you too." Sebastian said as he laid wet little kisses on Blaine's bare shoulders. Blaine could feel Sebastian's smile against his skin when he added. "By the way, best birthday present ever."
The sounds of heavy breathing and skin slapping against skin echoed through the bedroom. The fingers that wrapped around his wrist and held it down were too tight. Blaine could feel the bones inside sliding and scraping along each other.
Blaine wasn't sure what hurt more, the violent pull from the metal cuff every time his body was jerked from the force of the thrusts, the way that Sebastian's fingers dug into Blaine's hips, the way his uncuffed wrist felt like it was being crushed, or the brutal way that Sebastian was fucking him.
No, not fucking. Sebastian was raping him.
This was nothing like the way they used to be when they were together. Sebastian had always been attentive and gentle. Even when they were eager and consumed by the heat of the moment, Sebastian would never intentionally hurt Blaine.
But this, this was Sebastian trying to hurt. To damage. To destroy.
"You like this, don't you?" Sebastian's breath was hot against his ear. Blaine jerked his head way when he felt Sebastian's tongue tracing his skin and yelped in pain when he felt a sharp bite on his shoulder. "Look at you, you're hard."
Blaine's free hand clenched at the sheets tightly, trying in vain to transfer all the pain into the fabric. He gasped when Sebastian's hand reached down and wrapped around the base of his cock, stroking it with a practiced ease.
No, he couldn't. He couldn't react to this. Not this way.
"Do you remember when we used to do this? When I would touch you like this." Sebastian rubbed his thumb over the slit. "And like this." He tightened his grip and gave it a slight twist, wresting a small moan out of Blaine. "I see that you still love it."
"I hate you! You murderer!" A small whimper escaped from his throat when Sebastian pushed in roughly. "You killed Kurt. And his partner. You—Ah!"
"After all we've been through, you chose to take their words over mine?" The anger was back in Sebastian's voice. Blaine bit down hard on his lower lip when Sebastian gave him a particularly rough thrust.
Somehow, the anger in Sebastian's voice gave Blaine hope. It sounded like genuine anger. If Sebastian really killed these people, he wouldn't be so angry, would he? But it still didn't explain why Sebastian was hurting him and humiliating him this way. The Sebastian Blaine knew would never do this.
"You're no better than they are." Sebastian growled into Blaine's ear. "I bet you spread your legs for all of them, don't you? Look at you, all hard for me and taking it."
Blaine couldn't trust himself to speak. He hated that in spite of what Sebastian was doing to him, his body was still reacting to the ministrations as each movement drew out unwanted grunts and moans. However, what hurt more than the pain and the humiliation were Sebastian's words and what he was implying.
Blaine made one more attempt to throw Sebastian off, but Sebastian had his weight fully on Blaine, one of his hands now pinning Blaine's other wrist down and rendering him completely immobile. Blaine closed his eyes and tried to drown out Sebastian's taunting words as the other man brutalized him and made his body betray him in the worst possible ways. When Sebastian brushed his thumb against the head of Blaine's cock again, that was all it took for Blaine to climax.
Blaine had never felt more ashamed of himself as he did then.
Above him, Sebastian picked up his pace and fucked into Blaine at a unrelenting pace. He pushed into Blaine several more times before his hips stuttered and stilled. Blaine kept his eyes closed as he felt Sebastian coming inside of him. For a while, all Blaine could hear were the sounds of heavy breathing. And then Sebastian pulled out and got off the bed.
Blaine knew that if he was to free himself, he would have to try to incapacitate Sebastian long enough. There was really only had one chance. Blaine would have to wait for Sebastian to come back into close proximity and hope that he could be fast enough to curl his free hand into a fist and catch Sebastian off guard.
Blaine never did get the chance to do it. There was the sound of a click and Blaine froze.
The gun. Sebastian's got the gun.
"You really left me with no choice." There was resignation in that voice.
The shot, when it was fired, sounded louder than any thunder Blaine had ever heard.
Age(s): Twenty-One (Blaine); Twenty (Sebastian)
The bed creaked noisily as Blaine moved and tried to maintain his pace. He bracketed his arms around Sebastian's head as Blaine lifted himself up and down on his cock, pressing messy kisses where he could reach as he did so.
"Fuck! You feel amazing!" Sebastian thrust up suddenly, his cock brushing against Blaine's prostate and Blaine let out an obscene moan. He would have been embarrassed if he hadn't been too turned on to care. "So … tight!"
"Harder." Blaine breathed out as he sat up. In this position, he could move more and take in more. Sebastian felt so hot and full inside of him. Blaine could feel every inch and every move as he stretched around Sebastian's cock, moving up and plunging down, savoring the burn and the friction. "Harder, Sebastian!"
With a growl, Sebastian pushed himself up so that Blaine was in his lap and placed his hands on Blaine's hips. As Blaine lifted himself up and was about to plunge down again, Sebastian tightened his hold on Blaine and pulled him down while simultaneously thrusting up, pushing in as deeply and as hard as he could go.
"God!" Blaine thrown his head back and his eyes fluttered shut at the overwhelming sensations.
They had done this countless times now, and it just kept getting better. He couldn't get enough of Sebastian, no matter in what form. Blaine suppressed a whimper when Sebastian wrapped his fingers around his cock and started stroking it in times with the thrusts. Not willing to be outdone, Blaine clenched down hard around Sebastian and rolled his hips as he grounded down.
"Shit! You are such a tease!" Sebastian gritted out as he tried to hold off on his orgasm. "Come on, Blaine. Come for me. Come for me."
Their pace became faster and more erratic as they tried to reach completion. Sebastian leaned up and sucked at the juncture between Blaine's throat and shoulder before kissing his way down and flicked out his tongue at Blaine's nipple. Blaine dug his fingers into Sebastian's shoulders and arched his back as Sebastian brushed against his prostate again. He could feel that familiar tension of heat coiling at the pit of his stomach, waiting and almost at its limit. Then suddenly, the tension snapped and Blaine's vision whited out as he came, screaming out Sebastian's name as he crushed his lips to the other boy's.
Sebastian locked his arms around Blaine's waist and rolled them over. He interlaced his fingers with Blaine's as he fucked into him hard and fast, murmuring words of adorations as he pushed into Blaine repeatedly, his movement erratic and urgent. Blaine moaned softly, his body feeling sensitive from the recent orgasm but he loved the intimacy of what they were doing, especially when he could feel Sebastian above him and inside of him. Sebastian pushed in a few more times and shuddered above him as he spilled into Blaine.
Blaine pulled Sebastian on top of him and held him close as he listened to their labored breathing. This was often his favorite moments, when he could feel sated and at peace and forget about the danger they had to face on an almost daily basis. Except this time, it was Sebastian who would be sent on a mission while Blaine stayed behind.
"I wish I can come with you." Blaine stroke Sebastian's back gently, reveling in the way the heat of Sebastian's skin felt under his fingertips.
"You're still recovering, and I don't want you hurt again." Sebastian turned his head and placed a small kiss on Blaine's jaw.
"I'm fine. You know that." So what if his red blood cell count was a little low? It really shouldn't hinder him or prevent him from going on the mission. Blaine just didn't feel right when he couldn't accompany Sebastian. They had been working as a team for so long.
"I don't want to take any risks. I want you to leave this place when you turn twenty-five, and we can live out our days and do whatever the Hell we want in our dream city."
Paris.
That was what Sebastian called his favorite city in the world. They had plans, they have talked about on those cold nights when they were hiding out in whatever makeshift shelters they could find. It helped keep them going. Blaine never thought Sebastian meant it.
"I need you to promise me something." Sebastian propped himself up on one arm and looked down at Blaine, his green eyes glinting with determination.
"Yes?"
"No matter what happens, you have to live, okay? You have to trust me and we'll get through everything together."
There was something about the way Sebastian said it that made it sound so desperate and vehement at the same time. Blaine wasn't sure if he liked it.
"I promise." Blaine reached up and caressed Sebastian's face with the back of his hand. "But we'll be okay, right?"
"Yeah." Sebastian seemed relieved and smiled down at him. "We'll be."
That was the last time he saw Sebastian.
Three days later, Blaine received the news that the mission was a failure, and that Sebastian had gone rogue and betrayed them all.
There were two gunshots, but the pain never came.
Cautiously, Blaine opened his eyes and found Sebastian's back turned toward him, his arm still raised and the gun pointed toward a spot in the wall. After another few moments, Sebastian lowered the gun and walked toward the bed. He took out the key from his pair of jeans that were still on the floor and proceeded to unlock the handcuff.
"They have to hear enough to believe it." Sebastian said cryptically. In spite of the various emotions that were now racing through Blaine, he thought he heard remorse in Sebastian's voice. "I'm sorry."
Blaine hurt everywhere. He tried to bring up the previously cuffed wrist and gasped when a sharp pain shot up his arm.
"You've dislocated your arm." Sebastian reached out to Blaine but Blaine slapped his hand away.
"Don't touch me!" Blaine hissed. He cradled his injured arm and managed to sit up with some difficulty, grimacing at his aching muscles and the pain that shot up his spine. How could Sebastian pretend to care after all that he had just done? Hurt turned to rage as anger bubbled over inside of Blaine.
"Blaine, I—" There was a resounding crack when Blaine's fist connected with Sebastian's face. Blaine threw everything he had into that punch, although he was doubtful that it would've made its mark. After all, his injuries had severely impaired his speed and agility. The only way Sebastian could've gotten hit was unless Sebastian had meant for Blaine to hit him.
One hit wasn't enough to curb the anger that was boiling inside of Blaine. Sebastian had abandoned him, violated him, betrayed him and hurt him; he had killed Blaine's friends and betrayed their country. It was unforgiveable. Blaine wasn't sure how many punches he had thrown or where he had landed his blows. All he knew was that each and every single one of them made their mark every time.
Sebastian had made no effort to defend himself at all.
"Damn you, Sebastian! Damn you!" Blaine knew he was yelling, and he didn't care who heard them. All the hurt and sadness that had built up over the years had broken loose like a dam. Blaine tried to stand up but his legs seemed to have other ideas as they gave out on him. Blaine felt himself tumbling forward but he never hit the ground. A pair of arms encircled his waist and gently guided him to sit back down onto the bed. "Let go of me! I hate you! I hate you! I— Goddamit!" Blaine cursed himself inwardly when his vision blurred in front of him. He had told himself that he would never cry over Sebastian again and yet here he was, showing his weaknesses.
"I'm sorry." Sebastian held onto Blaine tightly. It was almost as though all the fight had gone out of Blaine the moment the tears started to flow. As much as he hated what had happened between them, Blaine hated himself even more.
Because Blaine knew that regardless of what Sebastian had done, he would never be able to follow through with the order.
"I deserve all of it and more." Sebastian's voice was soft, a stark contrast to how he sounded just moments ago. Blaine felt Sebastian pressing something hard and cold onto his hand and looked down. It was a gun. "The gun is loaded. If you feel the need to kill me, do it; but I ask that you hear me out first."
Blaine had always wanted an explanation, but at this moment, he wasn't sure what to expect. Part of him was hoping for something that would prove Sebastian's innocence, but another part of him was fearful for what he might hear.
"I've never told you much about my parents, because when I met you, they were long gone." Sebastian started. "My parents used to work for Dalton, the same agency that we worked for."
What Sebastian said had captured Blaine's attention; it was definitely not what he had expected to hear. For as long as he had known Sebastian, Blaine always thought that he joined Dalton as a mean of rebelling against his parents.
"They died in a mission two years before I joined. It was under mysterious circumstances. My uncle took me in and raised me, but we both knew that there was no way my parents could've perished like that." Sebastian was staring ahead of him, his gaze seemed distant. "It wasn't until a year later that my uncle told me my parents were onto something about Dalton. My parents almost had proof that Dalton was doing something immoral and illegal when they got killed."
"That wasn't what you told me." Blaine hadn't meant to say it out loud.
"I can't tell you everything because I don't know you well enough then." Sebastian turned his head and their gaze met. "And by the time I've fallen for you, I know I couldn't tell you because the less you know, the safer you'd be."
"So you killed my friends and betrayed everyone as revenge?" Blaine spat out. "That made you no better than the rest of them. And why should I even believe you?"
"Because I've never lied to you before. When I said I hated my parents, I meant it. They were never around and I hated them for leaving me behind; but I also love them because they were my blood." There were disappointment and hurt in Sebastian's eyes. "I had omitted some facts, but I hadn't outright lied to you."
"But that doesn't excuse you from betraying everyone's trust and—and—" Blaine swallowed the lump in his throat. It pained him to say what he was about to say next. "Kurt and Trent. It doesn't excuse you from killing them."
"They never did find their bodies." Sebastian countered. "It's either that or they used someone else's bodies. Which was it?"
"They—" Blaine paused. Sebastian was right, Kurt and Trent's bodies were never found. "They perished in the explosion, there were no bodies to be found."
"Not true. It was a small explosion, enough to kill, but not enough to completely obliterate the body." Sebastian shook his head. "Think about it, Blaine."
Blaine didn't have to think much further to know that there were merits to what Sebastian said. However, that only meant one thing.
"Kurt and Trent …" Blaine could feel his heart rate speeding up at the speculation. "Are they—are they all right?"
"I'm not the only one who wants to bring down Dalton."
"I don't see why I should take your words over my superiors'." Blaine wanted to believe Sebastian, he really did; but he also needed to be certain that he wasn't going to let his own emotions got the better of him.
"Have you ever wondered why they sent the three of us on that mission? How about the fact that they sent you after me after three years? Or this." Sebastian pointed at the bullet holes in the wall. "Do you know what they are? Hidden cameras with voice recordings. I know they knew I live here. They've put surveillance on this place for months. They planned all this, Blaine. Do you think it's all a coincidence?"
"The cameras …" If they were other cameras in this apartment, then that means they were still under surveillance.
"I disabled them before I caught you. I had to leave those two running long enough to record everything." Sebastian looked apologetic. "I'm sorry, it had to be convincing enough or else they'd never buy it if you go back to them after this."
"They'll never buy what?" Blaine seethed. The anger from being humiliated in front of people who were watching them made Blaine tremble uncontrollably.
"Your state of injuries and the recordings would justify why you couldn't carry out the order."
"You seem strangely confident that I won't kill you." Blaine raised the gun and pointed at Sebastian. "What makes you think I won't kill you after all this?"
Blaine knew that it would be easy for Sebastian to disarm him, especially considering he was the one with the most severe injuries.
"Because deep down, you know what I said were all true." Sebastian wiped away a trickle of blood from his nose. It was then that Blaine took a really good look at Sebastian. There was a bruise that was starting to form on the side of his face and on one of his eyes, and Sebastian's nose was a bit crooked – and most likely broken – as a result of one of the punches Blaine threw at him. "You're the closest to me. What better way to hurt me than to send the one person that they know I care the most about? Don't you get it, Blaine? They wanted you to kill me or they want me to kill you. Either way, it gets the job done. If you kill me, they've eliminated a threat. If I kill you, it'll hurt me enough to make me act rashly and make a mistake."
"You don't make mistakes." Blaine's hand was trembling. It was becoming more difficult to hold the gun.
"I will, if I lose you."
"They can still kill me if they really want to hurt you. They didn't." Blaine argued, choosing to ignore Sebastian's last statement.
"They didn't because they can't find any proof or reason to kill you. That's why I haven't told you everything. It's the only thing I can do to keep you alive." Sebastian explained. "They also know that if they're the one who killed you, it'd only make me fight harder. But if they make me kill you, it'll break me."
Blaine opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out. He had exhausted all the questions he had, and Sebastian had answered all of them without leaving any doubts in Blaine's mind. The gun clattered onto the ground noisily as Blaine lost his grip on the weapon.
"You didn't even unlock the safety." Sebastian picked up the gun and looked at it. "You—Blaine?"
"I—I knew it. Deep down I—I've always hoped that they were wrong." Blaine tried to will the tears away. God … Sebastian, you have no idea how hard it's been. I swear, I—" Blaine couldn't get the words out, the damn tears wouldn't stop falling.
"I can't apologize enough. I wish I didn't have to do any of this." Sebastian was by his side in an instant, one of Sebastian's hands on Blaine's knee while the other rubbed his lower back in comforting circles as Blaine cried out all the anguish and pain that had accumulated since Sebastian's departure. "I'd take it all back if I could, you know that, right?"
Blaine nodded silently as he tried to calm down.
"I love you. I've never stopped loving you." Sebastian placed a light kiss on Blaine's temple, where the bleeding from the earlier blow had since then ceased. "Every day that I was apart from you had been hell for me. I kept counting down to the day that you turn twenty-five just so that I can take you away from here."
"Two months." Blaine choked out.
"I know." Sebastian's hand found Blaine's and held it gently. "You need to survive the next two months. The injuries you sustained should put you out of commission for two months. I'm sure I gave you a concussion."
"You meant to do that?" Blaine frowned.
"It had to be convincing." Sebastian grimaced. "I'll spend the rest of my life making this up to you. I promise."
"I am not asking you to make it up to me." Blaine squeezed Sebastian's hand tightly, not wanting to let go. "I want you to be safe. I don't want them to come after you anymore. You can't—I mean—You must not let anything happen to you."
"I won't." Sebastian lifted their joined hands up and kissed the back of Blaine's hand gently. "I promise."
"What happens now?" As much as Blaine would like to prolong their reunion, he knew that it would only be a matter of time before the headquarter send people to retrieve them.
"There needs to be more blood."
"What?" But before Blaine even had a chance to do anything, Sebastian had reached into the dresser drawer and picked up a knife. He pressed the knife against his forearm and pressed down, drawing a long cut across the flesh. "Sebastian, what are you doing? Stop!"
"They're going to sweep the scene when they get here." Sebastian angled his arm so that the blood will drip down. "It's better for you if they think that I'm also severely injured."
"Jesus, Sebastian." The cut looked bad. For as long as Blaine had known Sebastian, Sebastian had always have a low pain threshold. Blaine couldn't help but wonder about the hardship that Sebastian must had to endure in the past years. "You need to do something about that."
"I will, once I'm out of here. Blaine …" Sebastian leaned forward and brushed away a stray curl from Blaine's forehead. "I'm going to have to run again. I was waiting and hoping that they'd send you. I've missed you."
"Sebastian, I—" The rest of Blaine's sentence was swallowed by Sebastian's kiss. It was familiar, sweet, slow and gentle. This was the Sebastian that Blaine remembered and missed, the one that he had fallen in love with.
"I'll find you." Sebastian's voice was heavy with emotions. "This isn't goodbye."
Those were the last thing Sebastian said before he disappeared from Blaine's life again.
Epilogue
Blaine Anderson was relieved of his duty two months after his failed mission to terminate Sebastian Smythe, right on the day of his twenty-fifth birthday.
Just as Sebastian speculated, the medical personnel at Dalton had deemed Blaine not fit for any further missions due to emotional and physical trauma suffered at the hands of the rogue agent. It was humiliating, to have to relive the experience and provide all the sordid details of how the mission transpired. The agency had enough footage to prove that Blaine's report was genuine, and Blaine hadn't enough information on Sebastian to be of any use.
Thinking back, Blaine realized that Sebastian had still left out some information during their brief time together. But this time, he knew that it was Sebastian's way of protecting him.
Blaine waited nine months before he packed up his belongings and left for France. He knew to play it safe. If Dalton was aware of his association with Sebastian, then it was entirely possible that they were still tracking his whereabouts. To ensure that his move to France wasn't anything out of the ordinary, Blaine had taken a job there as an independent consultant for one of the global financial institutions. A good expatriate package was a perfectly good reason to relocate to the City of Lights.
It was an early Sunday morning when Blaine saw the news.
Dalton had fallen.
The news hadn't given many details, but it was the type of scandals that involved treason, human trafficking, nuclear weapons, genocide, and drug trafficking. Blaine took a sip of his coffee and smiled.
Sebastian had succeeded. After all these years, the man he loved had finally found the justice and retribution that he had looked for.
A slight rustle behind Blaine made him freeze. Instinct kicked in as Blaine tried to turn around, his mug of scalding hot coffee ready to be used as a makeshift weapon. But before he even had a chance to do much, a hand had gripped his wrist firmly while Blaine felt an arm wrapping itself around his waist.
"What are you gonna do with that coffee?" Blaine's heart skipped a beat when he heard the familiar voice murmuring into his ear. "I'd hate for my new shirt to be ruined. Dry clean only."
"Sebastian." Blaine breathed out and gasped when Sebastian spun him around so that they were face to face. "You—I saw the news. You succeeded."
"I always win, don't you know?" The smirk that Blaine had missed was back on Sebastian's face. "I'm the best they've ever had, remember?"
Blaine laughed lightly. It was almost as though they were teenagers again. "You found me."
"I told you I would." With those words, Sebastian tipped Blaine's chin up and covered Blaine's lips with his. It wasn't long kiss, but it was passionate, full of promises and hope for the future. Their future. "I told you it wasn't goodbye."
"Welcome home, Sebastian Smythe."
As Blaine pulled Sebastian in for another kiss, he knew that a new chapter of their lives were about to start. This was the beginning of their ever after.
(END)
Addendum: I hope you've enjoyed this fic. If you like this, please rec and review it! Also, I have a Tumblr where I post my Seblaine drabbles and fan art. I'd be honored if you can please follow me at "rykerstrom . tumblr . com". Thanks again.