Regret
Things didn't go as planned. He wasn't supposed to be married to his dead twin's old girlfriend. Not a father at age twenty-one. His mother was still furious with him for ending up like that, but she'll understand. Someday.
And, maybe, when the day came that Molly Weasley finally dumped that grudge and forgave him, he'd understand, too. Because he didn't know why either. He didn't know what possessed him to let her into his shop. Into his bedroom. Into his life--where she would be trapped forevermore.
He didn't expect to find Alicia Spinnet in Diagon Alley, of all places. Contrary to what he'd rather she'd have done, she greeted him like an old friend, instead of ignoring him like the terrible ex-boyfriend that he was.
" George? George Weasley? "
And, even though, he would have much preferred to run away, he didn't.
" Nice to see you, too, Leesh. "
So, here they were, walking through the alley together, talking about the most pointless things, until he decided to bring up a subject that had been driving his wife insane for quite some time.
" Angie was really disappointed when you didn't turn up for the wedding. "
Alicia paled. " R-really? "
" Yeah...didn't you get the invitation? "
There was a long pause, but, after a while, Alicia finally found it in herself to speak. " I did, " she said quietly, avoiding his eyes. " I just didn't think either of you would want me there. "
George said nothing, so she went on.
" I've been avoiding Angie for the longest time. I haven't talked to her since...well, you know...and I wouldn't have known what to say if I ever had the guts to face her. I was scared, and young, and stupid, and- "
" No, Leesh. I was stupid. " George cut her off upon seeing her eyes glaze up with tears. " It was really childish of me, trying to be Fred. I just wanted it to seem to everyone else that he's not gone at all. Back then, being Fred was all that mattered. George...well, George could have curled up in a corner and died, and I wouldn't have cared. "
Alicia laughed bitterly. " And how'd 'being Fred' work out for you? "
" It sucked terribly, thanks for asking. "
Silence enveloped them once again. The only sound made was the constant popping of George's gum.
" Do you think that...Angie hates me? " Alicia asked, out of the blue.
George looked at her, quizzical. " Why would she? "
" Because I didn't come to the wedding. "
" Oh. Well...I wouldn't be mad about something like that. I dunno about Angie, though. She's a girl. " He spoke with all the wisdom of a nine-year-old boy. He knew that she knew that he was just trying to be funny, but she never did laugh. She just kept on staring at her feet as they walked. So, he tried to give her a decent answer. Decent, coming from him, that is. " Angie could never be mad at you. You're her best friend. "
" Her best friend that she hates? "
" You're hopeless. If you're that worried about it, why don't you come over for din- "
" No! " Alicia almost stumbled into a plump witch carrying a heavy armful of packages. And by the stink of it all, those packages contained dragon dung or something equally disgusting. She apologized about a million times before she allowed George to steer her away.
" Relax, Leesh...breathe. It's just dinner. "
" It's not just dinner! It's dinner with Angelina John- "
" Weasley. "
" What? "
" Angelina Weasley. That's her name now. " He said it so quietly that he could have been talking to himself. Maybe he was. Everything that happened since Fred died seemed to have happened all at once. George was almost positive that time itself crumbled with the fallen debris that crushed his brother to death. All the clocks must have stopped ticking.
Alicia looked nervously at him, afraid that he might have been offended by her mistake. " George, I'm really so- "
" It's no big deal. " George interjected quickly, snapping out of his trance. " And will you please stop apologizing for every little thing? It makes me feel like we've never known each other at all. "
" What do you mean? "
" You act like we've never been friends. "
" If I really were acting like we weren't friends, I wouldn't even be talking to you. "
" That's cold, Leesh. "
Alicia laughed, the first genuine laugh that one of his wisecracks had caused. " You haven't changed at all, have you, George? "
" Hey, I'm a whole lot taller than I used to be, " he defended. A grin threatened to form in his face, but never fully did. The thought of Fred made sure of that. Fred won't ever get any taller, would he? His bones will stay as they are, slowly crumbling into dust six feet under, to stay forever buried somewhere beneath the hills of Ottery St. Catchpole.
Maybe that's why he wasn't so sure how he felt about seeing Alicia again. All his memories of her involved Fred. Quidditch practice. The Yule Ball. Charms class. The constant plotting of publicly humiliating Oliver Wood-- plans that were never put into action for fear of bodily harm.
He was staring off into space again, when Alicia's voice invaded his thoughts. " Well, I guess I should get going. "
They had reached the end of Diagon Alley, the brick wall leading back to the Leaky Cauldron towering over them. Alicia had just pulled out her wand. " See you around, George. "
" That, you will, " he said, as assurance to himself rather than to Alicia.
She tapped the correct brick, and the wall started to melt. " Can you do me a favor, though? "
" What favor? "
" Can you please not tell Angie that we met today? I'll come by to see her sometime, I promise. But I want it to be a surprise. "
He nodded upon understanding. " I suppose I can keep my mouth shut. "
Alicia smiled, waving at him as she walked through the arch and back into the Muggle World.
And he smiled back--his first real smile in a long, long time-- without really knowing why.
George took Fred, Jr. out to lunch the following day. Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour had long since been rebuilt, and ice cream was all little Freddie wanted to eat. His father reckoned that a little over ten cones of mint chocolate-chip would pass for lunch. It's not like the boy wouldn't be force-fed disgusting green vegetables at dinner that night.
They sat in silence, Freddie literally inhaling cone after cone. George glanced over at the entrance to his shop with mild amusement. The place wasn't as packed as it normally was. Usually, there would be a small gaggle people who just couldn't possibly fit inside, so they just oggled at the glass display through the front window. There was only one person standing by the front window today, and she wasn't even looking at the display. It took him a few moments to realize that it was Alicia.
George, without thinking, called out to her. " Hey! Leesh! "
She looked around, but, when her eyes finally settled on him, she turned on her back and walked away, disappearing into the crowd by Madam Malkin's.
" Dad? " Freddie had taken a break from his ice cream, and was looking up, confused, at the father who was just as confused as he was. " Who are you talking to? "
" Nobody, kid, " he said, voice faint. " It's nothing at all. "
They both knew this wasn't true.
" I met her today. "
George looked up at his wife. " Met who? "
Angelina stared at him, eyes glazed with would-be tears. The side of her mouth twitched, as if she didn't know whether to smile or frown. She didn't answer him, turning to Freddie instead. " Could you go play outside for a while, sweetheart? "
Freddie nodded, and left the room without another word, taking his pudding cup with him.
" What's this about? " George asked again.
" You honestly don't know? "
He shook his head.
" Alicia. Alicia. Your ex-girlfriend. The one you were dating when you got me pregnant. Remember her? " Every word was dripping with bitterness. " You never told me that you've been seeing her. "
" I promised her that I'd let you two meet at your own pace. Leesh said- "
" Leesh? You still call her Leesh? "
" It's just a nickname, " George said defensively. " Besides, I don't know why you're making such a big deal out of this, Angie, you know I'd never- "
Angelina was crying now. " That you'd never cheat on me? That you won't go sleeping around with other women while I'm struggling to bring our child up, all by myself? "
George didn't say anything. It was, of course, easy for any woman to make the wrong assumption when it came to your husband having coffee with his ex-girlfriend behind your back. Even when nothing happened, he still felt like he did something wrong.
" How could you...? " she whispered into his chest. Now that she was this close, he could smell the wine and firewhisky, her breath was heavily drenched with the scent of recently consumed alcohol. " How could you do this to me, Fred? "
It didn't matter how drunk she was. It didn't matter whether she meant to say it or not. All that mattered to him is that she did. George felt a searing pain through his chest that he wasn't unfamiliar with. Of course, now, it hurt even more.
" Sorry I haven't been to see you in a while, mate. "
George placed a trembling hand on the marble gravestone. It was as smooth as it had been the day that Fred's corpse had been lowered to earth. A year had passed since he had last been here. Their mother had planted various flowery shrubs all over the place, and someone had left a Nose-Biting Teacup filled to the brim with sweets-- presumably Puking Pastilles.
He carefully took the teacup between his fingers, careful not to get bitten, and chuckled lightly, forgetting for a moment whose grave it was.
" Ron, that little git. Can you believe this, Fred? " He looked to his left, only to find no one.
George ran into Alicia at Flourish and Blott's weeks after Angelina's drunken outrage. He had come to pick up a new cookbook for his wife, who either didn't remember accusing him of infidelity, or was simply determined to just forget it ever happened. George was happy to play along, either way.
Alicia, on the other hand, looked utterly terrified. She retreated behind a bookshelf the moment she first saw him. Little did she know that he had seen her, too, and soon enough, he had her cornered in the Wizarding Literature section.
" You're not very good at running. "
" What makes you think I was? "
George took in a sharp breath, trying to hide how frustrated he was. " I'd run, too. If I were accused of being the 'other woman'. By my best friend, no less."
Alicia's narrowed eyes widened considerably. " I-i was just... " she trailed off.
" Did you even try to tell Angelina that it was your stupid idea to not tell her that we've met? "
" I did- "
" Then, why the hell doesn't she know? "
She looked at her feet, her hair obscuring her face. " You wanna know why I didn't come to your damn wedding, George? The truth? "
He looked puzzled, but, she went on.
" I didn't want to see you. I didn't want to see her. I didn't want to see either of you, especially not both of you at the same time. "
Alicia looked up at him with searching eyes.
" Do you know why that is, George? "
He didn't nod, didn't shake his head. Simply stared down at her, frozen in shock.
" I loved you, " she whispered. " and I thought you loved me back. "
George felt a two-ton rock drop to the pit of his stomach. He had never officially broken up with Alicia. The news of Angelina's pregnancy had spread so fast, that it seemed unnecessary for him to tell her that it was over. So he didn't. But, he thought, the unnecessity--if there was such a word-- wasn't why he hadn't. It was because he couldn't. He couldn't bear to see her heart break before his very eyes. So, instead of confronting her about said break-up, he chose to run away and forget about everything they've been through instead. He married Angelina Johnson, and shunned the memory of Alicia Spinnet to the deepest recesses of his mind, where, hopefully, they would seem like they did not exist at all.
He felt his own heart thumping fast within his chest. Why was that? He had resigned to the belief that he bore no feelings for Alicia at all, that their relationship was just a fling, a summer romance...that seemed to have survived for a year. And, suddenly, he was filled with an unbearable gush of regret. What if he hadn't gotten Angelina pregnant? What if he had married Alicia instead? Would he have been happier?
" I think we both know that we're never going to happen, " he stated firmly.
She nodded, and to his surprise, she smiled. A sad smile, but a smile, nonetheless. " I'm sorry. I knew that all along, and it wasn't why I came here. I just wanted Angie back as a friend...you've no idea how much I've missed her. I never thought it'd come to- "
Her sentence was left unfinished-- George's lips were on hers before she could utter another word.
King's Cross Station
September 1st, 2012
" You be good now, alright, Freddie? "
" I'l try my best, Mum. "
Fred Weasley let himself be hugged by his teary-eyed mother, who clutched his sister, Roxanne, to her chest as she did. His father snickered. " I'll bet you anything you'll have detention before the end of the week, kid. " He hugged his son, as well. His wife looked at him sternly. " What? It's genetic. "
Freddie laughed.
" That's not funny, George. " The mother scolded.
" Oh, lighten up, Angie. Cut the boy some slack. " George said, looking around. " Speaking of the little man, where is he? "
Angelina panicked at once. " He's gone?! " she thundered.
" Oh...Oh, wait, he's just over there by little Max Jordan. And there's Lee! Seriously, what's with the mustache? "
And, indeed, Freddie Weasley was roaring with laughter about something Max had said. Lee Jordan waved at the George, his arm around his wife, who, in turn, was waving at Angelina.
" Leesh, I thought you were in France! " Angelina exclaimed, hurrying over to the Jordans. George followed, acknowledging them with a grin.
Alicia smiled radiantly. " I just got back. A mother's got to see her son off, you know. "
" Hear that, Freddikins? "
" Mum! "
George chuckled lightly, glancing sideways at the clock. It was ten forty-seven. Roxanne, startled by the whistling coming from the Express, started to cry. Angelina excused herself, and went off to their Muggle car for a bottle of milk to calm her bawling baby daughter.
Lee, too, left when Max had sneaked off to look at somebody's Venomous Tentacula. Freddie gave his father a begging look, until George finally agreed for him to go see it as well. " Alright, just don't touch it. "
Fred ran off, leaving George and Alicia standing alone under the sign that read Platform 9 and 3/4. Silence descended upon them, but it was a warm, comforting kind of silence that didn't feel awkward at all. George snatched a sideward glance at Alicia, only to find her smiling at him.
" They've really grown up, haven't they? " she said, looking fondly at Max , who yelled loudly when a hairy black arm emerged from the Tentacula's box.
" Eleven years is a long time, " George agreed.
" Are you and Angie still coming over for dinner tonight? "
" We will if Lee promises not to cook. "
" It's settled, then. "
She laughed. He laughed. They laughed just as they had when they themselves were both Firsties years and years ago. When Fred was alive, and nobody was married to anybody else. Those were the days. Growing up really did make things so much more complicated. The inevitability of it all just made everything seemed all the more harder.
They were just friends now, no other kisses followed the one George had initiated back then, at the empty Literature area of Flourish and Blotts. Neither could bear to break Angelina's heart.
But, despite how things turned out, George still wondered about the what-ifs and could-have-beens, had his life gone another direction. One thing he knew for sure: had things been different, there would have been such a thing as Mrs. Alicia Weasley.
A/N: I've just realized how pointless and canonical this is. But, oh, well...As much as I would have loved it if George had ended up with Alicia instead, I know that the unstoppable force we all know as J.K. Rowling didn't let that happen.
I'm still convinced that Fred's death is just a conspiracy, though, no matter what she says. Lawlz.
P.S. Reviews make me happy. Very, very happy. So, please contribute to my happiness and leave one.