The Way of Things
Part One - A Father's Final Lesson and a New Insight Gained
Disclaimer: I don't own them. I just play with them.
AN: This story is intended to take place a few months after my short story "Moonlight Masquerade". While having read the previous story would help to deepen the effect of the emotions in this story, it is by far not required. If you are, in fact, stumbling upon this story first, I shall point out that Sakura is fifteen by this point. Li Shaolan remains in Hong Kong. Eriol, though alternating his time between England and Japan, has returned to Japan in the year this story takes place. Pairings are: Eriol and Tomoya, Touya and Yukito, and there are feelings between Sakura and Yue. But for now, mistress and the moon guardian are simply related on a close friends level.
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Two were comfortably seated at a game table in the library of an English style mansion somewhere in Japan. Before them lay the European board game called Chess. A man appearing moderately aged with cerulean eyes, ebony hair, and a pair of old world spectacles that gave off the look of sophistication sat on the side deemed Black's territory. Opposite him sat an equally elegant yet obviously younger man with slit-pupiled periwinkle eyes and moon silver tresses, commanding the army of White. A third individual, being a large tawny maneless lion, lay dozing in front of a crackling fire place.
White moved a pawn two spaces forward. Black moved a bishop. White moved a knight. Clow blinked and glanced out the window beside them to the pitch of winter night. Yue followed his gaze and gasped when he found fat flakes of a coming winter storm spiraling down in the world beyond the window's pane of glass. Clow smiled as he returned his soothing blues to the game board to move a black pawn.
"It's beautiful, isn't it?" came softly the master's deep voice.
"Yes," Yue replied with a small genuine smile while moving another pawn.
"Checkmate," Clow quietly declared as he moved his remaining knight to take Yue's king. The moon angel squeaked in dismay, to which Clow chuckled as he rose from his chair. Moving likewise, Yue followed his creator who strode to stare out a different window.
For several long minutes, the older man just stood there saying nothing. Then, when Yue least expected it, he spoke up, "I realize you have.. special feelings for me."
"Y-yes, Master."
"But Yue..." Clow began only to stall. Yue hung on his every word. Suddenly, the older man's form shifted into that of a familiar looking boy. Yue gasped.
"Clow!"
"But Yue, I am not Clow," the boy told him.
"What?! Of course you are!" Yue tried to deny with a look of horror.
"I am not Clow. The powers and memories he gave me are merely the shadow of the man once known as Clow Reed. He will never again be seen by this world," replied the boy with an enigmatic expression.
"But-" Yue started to argue but only found the world fading to black around him. "Hey, wait!" he cried out in the darkness.
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Sakura giggled as she played her card and played a red chip down on the game board in between two pairs of blue ones. Her move effectively killed that particular attempt by the Blue Team to win the game. Six people sat at the Kinomoto dining room table playing the card and board game Sequence. Tomoya and Eriol were Blue. Sakura and Kero-chan were Red. And Green was played by Touya and Yukito.
As Tomoya carefully considered her next move, Eriol glanced curiously at Yukito. Chosing to keep his awareness of a certain situation concealed, the English boy returned his eyes to his own hand of cards. Tomoya played followed by Touya, then a smirking Kero-chan. Calmly, Eriol proceeded to use a wild Jack of Clubs to place a blue chip on a space that Green Team needed for their first row of five. Touya glared at him while Yukito chuckled and used a one-eyed Jack of Hearts to remove the chip Eriol had just played and hand it back to him. Yukito blinked as something twitched inside him. Yet as he passed the chip back to its owner, he ignored the feeling. The rest caught were caught unaware, thus the game continued as though nothing had happened.
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Using his power to create moon beams to light his way, Yue ran through the darkness. As he frantically searched for the one held closest to his heart, he repeatedly called out his old master's name, "Clow! Where are you? Clow?!"
Up ahead, the tall figure of a man Yue would know anywhere appeared before the panicked moon angel. Yue blinkingly skidded to a halt in front of his master as he stared on wide-eyed with that look of horror still clearly etched upon his pale skinned face.
"Clow!" Yue's voice rasped hoarsely from screaming so much.
"Yue," the spirit of the older man the world once knew as Clow Reed greeted gently. A wince appeared on his face, echoing his creation's pain. Quietly, he lifted a hand to lightly cup the angel's cheek.
"Clow," Yue whispered as tears brimmed in his piercing eyes of icy blue.
"Yue, I am truly sympathetic for the deep pain my death has caused. Like any father, I hate when my children suffer. But Yue, I am dead. And, although my spirit will continue to watch over you, dead I shall remain," Clow told his beloved child of moonlight.
"But-"the angel started, only to be silenced by a soft shush from Clow's lips. The father's fingertips chose to thread themselves through Yue's bangs and play in his silky silver hair.
"It is sad that things die. But all things do. There can not be life without death. Even you will someday perish as nothing in this world lasts forever. That is the way of things. The world is an endless cycle of birth, life, death, and rebirth into new forms," the master explained.
"But why? Why must it be this way? Why must you leave?!" the angel demanded sorely.
"Not even I know the answer to that," Clow responded. Yue looked down in sorrow. Feeling a thumb brush over his cheek, he looked up again at the man that was, at the very least, his father.
"This mourning has gone on long enough. Life goes on, and so must you. It is every father's wish that his children move on from tragedy and live a happy life," Clow smiled softly.
"Clow..."
"Go, Yue. Finish your tears and dry them. You may find that the company of a close friend can be very helpful in healing such wounds. Move on. Live a happy life. You still have so very much to live for. Remember that even though I have passed on, this spirit of mine will always love you unconditionally. I will be there watching you from afar and wishing you well," Clow spoke with words of deep affection.
"Clow..." Yue whimpered in resistance. He gasped when he found Clow stepping forward to envelop him in a gentle hug. Clow smiled despite the heavy air of sadness that hung with the knowledge that he must soon leave. In one final gesture of affeaction, Clow Reed let his lips descend to brush first the angel's tear-stained cheek, then his flawless pale forehead. Yue shivered with a soft whine.
"Now.. go. Be happy.. my dear Yue," the old sorcerer said with a smile as he stepped back one pace.
"No.. Clow. Please don't!" Yue begged as he tried to hold on to his creator. Yet he now found his fingers slipping right through the man's image as it slowly vanished into the darkness.
"No! Clow! Come back!" the moon angel screamed only to hear his lonely voice echo back to him in the void of nothingness. "Dammit.. CLOW!!!" he shrieked as the agony of severe loss flooded him once again as though not but a moment had passed since Clow's death.
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The group of close friends and relatives sitting around the Kinomoto dining room table laughed and chuckled as Kero-chan complained over Eriol tossing back the sun guardian's last played chip. Suddenly, complete attention was diverted to Yukito who grunted and blinkingly pushed himself back away from the table for a moment.
"Yuki?" Touya inquired with a look of concern.
"I.." Yukito started only to stall as he slumped into his chair before floating up to under go the change that left Yue standing there in his place. Everyone but Eriol gasped at the moon guardian's sudden appearance. The commotion that sprang up instantly died the moment Yue looked up and across the table to shoot Eriol the coldest glare any had ever seen.
"Yue..." Eriol regarded, ignoring the urge to shiver under such a gaze.
"Save it for someone who gives a damn," Yue told him coldly before abruptly turning to leave the room. Kerberos and Sakura called after him but only received the loud slam of a door as an answer.
"What the hell was all that about?!" the sun guardian shouted as he turned to face the Clow Reed's reincarnation, certain that the English boy had everything to do with Yue's current mood. Eriol sighed as he hung his head a bit.
"Yue was having a dream. Clow intervened. It seems Yue wasn't quite happy with what he had to say, and is, thus, using me as a target of blame," Eriol informed the living plush toy. "True, I allowed the part of me that is Clow's spirit to transfer to Yukito during the game. But, what was said and done between Clow and Yue, I hadn't any part in," the boy defended honestly. Tomoya squeezed his hand with a worried look while turning to look at Kero-chan and Sakura. The sun guardian shuttered at that answer. He knew that Clow was still the owner Yue's deepest nerve.
"I suppose I should go try to calm him down," Kero-chan said nervously.
"No. You stay, Kero-chan. I'll go," Sakura said as she stood.
"But-"
"Let her go. If anyone can calm him, it will be our ever cheerful Sakura," Eriol interrupted with a smile as he turned to gaze at the energetic teenager that had become the hub in this great wheel of friends and family. "Actually, I think a show of friendly compassion from you right now would be the best medicine there is for our dear Yue," he told her with a glow of wisdom in his youthful blue eyes. Sakura nodded with a smile of courage and determination.
"Sakura," Kero-chan called out.
"Hmm?"
"Be careful," the sun guardian warned with worry etched in his ordinarily cute little face.
"Thanks. I will," Sakura replied with a nod before dashing towards the door. After putting her coat and shoes on, she bravely left the house in search of her highly upset moon guardian.
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Using the FLY card, Sakura soured through the night sky on young angel wings sprouting from her back. Painstakingly, she combed the city through the flakes of gently falling snow for her missing friend and guardian. She found him in the place where the two of them had clashed on the night of their first meeting in Yue's test of Final Judgment. High above the city streets, hidden far from prying eyes, he sat perched upon a metal rung of Tokyo Tower. Even from as far away as she wad upon first sighting him, Sakura could still see the cloud of gloom that seemed to encase the moonlight angel.
Even if she hadn't used the SHADOW card to hide her form till her safe arrival to prevent her guardian's flight, Yue still wouldn't have noticed Sakura's arrival. As she set foot on solid steel, Sakura looked to her guardian with great sympathy and slowly approached. So deeply caught up in his own thoughts he was, Yue failed to notice his mistress's presence till the moment she sank to sit beside him.
"The city's pretty at night. You can see everything from here," came Sakura's soft warm voice as she sat down. Yue jolted with a gasp, which in turn made an already edgy Sakura jump as well. "I'm sorry. I tried my best not to startle you, Yue-san," she quickly apologized with a hammering heart. Yue swiftly turned his face the other way.
"You shouldn't be out here. You'll get sick," he told her in the clearest voice he could muster. Sakura thought for a moment before withdrawing two cards and tossing them into the air.
"SHIELD.. FIERY.. create around us a cocoon of warmth and guard us from the chill of the stormy winter's night," the girl told the cards as she held out her star wand. Instantly, the cards came to life, shifting into their respective forms to loyally carry out the tasks assigned to them. Within moments, a warm bubble had been created around the mistress and her guardian, shielding them from nature's wrath.
"Mistress.." Yue whispered in a protesting tone. He felt a small hand gently squeeze his shoulder.
"I'm here because I know that when I'm upset, it helps when I have someone there to lean on. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. You don't have to say or do anything. I came so you wouldn't be alone. So that, you would have someone here to turn to. To lighten your burden. You have nothing to fear from me. I come not as the Mistress of the Cards, but as your friend. You've helped me out so much in the past. I'm returning the favor," Sakura told him. Yue's shoulders slumped.
"Did Kerberos or Eriol put you up to this?" the moon angel inquired with a whispering voice.
"They didn't have to. I didn't come because of anything anyone told me. I came because I wanted to take care of you, as your friend," she answered.
Yue found the tension built up within him quickly becoming defused. Somehow, he found it simply impossible to stay mad at anything in the company of this bright and energetically compassionate girl — no, young lady. For her to have come out on a cold winter's night with a storm threatening as it was to chase down one angry guardian whom she had admitted fear of, took an amazing amount of guts. Sakura had certainly grown a lot from the cowardly little girl Yue had faced in Final Judgment. The fact that she was here spoke not only of her courage, but also of her growing wisdom and profoundly kind heart. Yue knew he had somehow managed to become someone Sakura cared for deeply. But, he was shocked that she would fight so hard just to sit by his side in a moment of darkness.
"Thank you," he told her in a voice she barely managed to hear. He felt the hand on his shoulder give yet another squeeze.
"Your welcome," her voice softly returned. "And Yue-san..."
"Hnn?"
"It's okay to cry. Everyone does at some point. Even my meanie brother and big, strong father. They say guys aren't suppose to cry. But guys are people just like girls. Sometimes, the best way to fix wounds of the heart is simply to cry until you can't anymore. I know that. So don't feel like you have to hold it back just because I'm here. I'm not going to judge you, or think badly of you because of it. Heck, you know very well how I tend to cry when I'm upset. It's part of living. So.. don't pen it up. Cry if you feel like it," Sakura told him with a smile. Something inside the moon angel started to break.
"That.. sounded like something Clow would say," Yue admitted in a shuttering voice.
"I didn't mean to."
"It's okay. I understand your intent."
"I only got to meet Clow-san a couple of times. But, I did get to know him enough to know.. that he would want you to let go. He would understand your tears, and he would want you to cry them. But, in the long run, he would want you to try and be happy again," Sakura said in sheer innocence, having not a clue how closely she was echoing Clow's words to Yue earlier that evening. Yue gasped as his periwinkle eyes snapped wide. Caught up in the thought, Sakura found words to keep talking, "I know I was really little when my Mother died. I was three. But even then, I was old enough to feel the pain and sorrow that came of her passing. I know Clow-san would want you to cry, then learn to be happy because... Daddy told me to do that very same thing for Mom. He told me that she could feel my pain and that she would want me to get better. She would want me to be happy. Because she could only rest in peace in heaven if I was leading a good, happy, healthy life."
Sakura smiled, staring up at the falling snow as she thought back to those days in her seemingly distant past. Beside her, Yue had grown quiet as he'd listened to her speak. Slowly her words sunk in, and in the deepest recesses of his heart, the damn he'd built over that old wound came crashing down in the silence that reigned after Sakura's words ceased.
Growing unnerved by the silence, Sakura glanced over at the moon angel beside her. At first, she couldn't tell very much what was going through his mind for the way he was slouched with his bangs hiding his eyes. But then, she saw the sparkle of his falling tears as his shoulders began to shake. With the sharp intake of quaking breathe, she finally caught on that her words had done what she'd hoped they would.
Shifting to the side and tucking her legs beneath her, the teenage girl reached out her arms to grasp Yue's shoulders and gently tug him towards her. In his current stage, he was powerless to resist. The moon guardian collapsed into his mistress's arms with the greatest of ease. He willed his wings away whilst he felt her tighten her arms around him in a strong comforting hug. Where on earth had such a young girl gotten such strength, he silently wondered. In the next moment, he no longer cared, choosing to toss all coherent thought out the window and allow his tears to fall freely against the shoulder so kindly offered to him.
Sakura said not a thing, choosing to let actions speak in place of words. She held her guardian tight in her arms, gently rocking him as he cried the torrent of tears that had built up inside him over all the years that had passed since Clow's death. True, he'd cried before. But, he'd never totally let go. He had never stopped fighting Clow's death till now. Sakura felt humbled that her cold moon angel had allowed her to be the one to hold him through such a moment.
The enchanted teenager let the moment last as it was for as long as she could. But, as young and limited in power as she was, Sakura could only hold the shield around them up for so long. It only took a minute for her mind to figure out what to do next. Once it did, she swiftly set about acting upon it.
"Can you fly? The storm seems to be getting worse, and I can't hold this shield for much longer," she gently prodded. Yue started to tell Sakura to go on without him. Then he noticed how much stronger the snowstorm had gotten.
"Yes. Though, if it snows much harder, even I might have trouble," he admitted with a nod before clearing his croupy throat.
"Okay. We'll go together," Sakura said as she collected the FIERY and SHIELD cards, dismantling the cocoon that had protected them from the storm. She pulled back out the FLY card. "Ready?"
Yue picked himself up and pulled his wings back out, using them momentarily as a shield before nodding, "Okay. Yes."
"On the count of three, we'll go out together. One.. two.. THREE!" Sakura counted before pulling them both out into the storm. "FLY! Aid us in our quest to return home through the tempest that is this great storm!" she commanded. Yue wrapped his arms about her waist and opened his wings to the wind as Sakura was granted her own pair. Together, the pair bravely soared through the winter storm till at last they arrived on the roof of the Kinomoto house.
As Yue used his wings to shield them from the storm, Sakura pounded on her bedroom window. A minute later Kero-chan appeared to open the window as Touya and Tomoya entered the room behind him. Yue put away his wings and let Sakura tug him with her. The two tumbled one behind the other through the open window and into the house, hitting the floor with a rather unceremonious double crash. The moment the two were inside, the sun guardian swiftly shut the window back tightly closed.
Yue started to untangle himself from his mistress only to find her stopping him. Sakura put a hand to his shoulder with a look of strong desire for something in her eyes.
"Yue, stop for a minute and listen to me. I know my request probably isn't going to be very appealing to you, but right now, I'm not going to take no for an answer. I want you to remain as you for the night and get some rest. I know you'd prefer to regress to your false form, but doing that is still going to be expending energy, just through a different form. It's something you really don't need to do right now. Normally, I'd be worried about repercussions on Yukito. But, this time, he's just going to have to put up with it. You deserve some time for yourself too, and he's just going to have to share you for a little while. You can stay here with me. I know you won't agree to taking the bed so I'll make you one on the floor. Okay?" the girl demanded with carefully chosen words. Yue blinked. With the way she'd said her wish, there was no way he could possibly refuse.
"If it pleases you, then so be it," he conceded, bowing his head.
"Onii-chan, you can room with Kero-chan or swing by tomorrow and pick Yukito up. Though, I have to say, it looks really nasty out there," Sakura told her brother as she untangled herself from Yue and stood up.
"I was thinking about that. I'll go ahead and camp in my room for the night just to make sure everything goes all right," Touya replied. He turned to Kerberos. "You'd better not snore!"
"Hey! Who made me the bad guy here?!" the sun guardian protested.
"Eriol's offered to take me home. Take care, the both of you. I hope you get to feeling better soon, Yue-san," Tomoya said with a kind smile.
"Okay. I'll be down in a minute to see you off," Sakura said with a return smile. She turned to Yue. "Stay here. I'll be back. Everybody else, out. He's got enough on his plate as it is without everyone overcrowding him," Sakura ordered as she ushered everyone out of her room. She gave Yue a smile then shut the door.
"Kero-chan, would you mind pulling out the stuff to make up Yue-san's bed with?" the girl asked as she followed the group through the hall.
"I'll get it," Touya volunteered, veering off to do just that.
"Oh! Umm, thanks Onii-chan," Sakura said, sputtering in surprise.
"Sure thing, monster."
"Say that to my face, baka!"
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Downstairs, Sakura met back up with Eriol who seemed a little crestfallen after Yue's little blow-up earlier in the evening. She smiled warmly to him and gave him a small hug.
"Yue-san will be all right. He just let his bottle get a little too full. I'm making him stay over night just to make sure he gets some rest," Sakura informed the English boy.
"I'm glad. I know he'll come around eventually. I'm just sorry that it got this bad for him. But, it turned out all right, it seems. I'm as proud of you as I am grateful. You really have come along way," Eriol praised with a smile that she had so easily infected him with.
"Umm, thank you," Sakura blushed. "Anyway, I'll let you two get home. The storm's starting to get mean out there."
"Yes, it certainly is. Take care," Eriol nodded as he moved with Tomoya towards the door.
"Good thing your Dad is away at that conference in Osaka," Tomoya commented.
"Definitely," Sakura nodded in agreement.
"Good night Sakura-chan. Goodnight Kero-chan," the raven-haired girl waved with a grin. "Be good."
"Good night Tomoya-chan, Eriol-kun. And you too," Sakura giggled. Eriol rewarded her with an uber rare blush at the suggestiveness in the comment.
"Bye-bye!" Kero-chan waved.
After the door had shut and the departing couple had left, Sakura returned to her room upstairs. She found Yue quietly helping Touya set up a sleeping area on the floor. The girl grabbed her pajamas from their drawer and left to the bathroom to change. Afterwards, good nights were traded in the hallway between Kerberos, Touya, and Sakura before they parted to their respective rooms for the night.
Upon re-entering her room and shutting the door behind her, Sakura found Yue already snuggled into his make-shift bed on the floor. She smiled and tapped the light switch to the off position before climbing into bed, herself. The room seemed to reflect the chill outside as howling wind rattled the window slightly in its casing and snow spit and tinkled against the glass pane. She shivered and buried herself under the blankets. A few minutes of silence passed.
"Sakura-sama," came a soft voice from the floor.
Sakura grunted at the manner in which he had used her name, "Yes, Yue-san?"
"Thank you."
"My pleasure," the girl whispered with a smile.
"Sakura-sama?"
"I'll make you a deal."
"Hmm?" Yue looked up at her in confusion.
"Call me just Sakura, and I'll consider us even," she smiled sweetly at him. A silver brow twitched.
"Fine," the angel replied in defeat. Sakura giggled. A minute passed. "Sakura?" Yue repeated his previous call.
"Huh?"
"I'm sorry I frightened you before. I'll try not to do it anymore," the moon angel apologized.
"Yue-san!" Sakura whispered with a gasp as she sat up and looked down at him in surprise at his words. He was turned towards her bed and stared at his fingernails. "Don't be sorry. It's who you are. I know that," she replied. Yue sat up and shook his head.
"No," he told her bluntly. He took a deep breath as he picked his words. "Yes, I tend to be aloof. But, that has nothing to do with how hard I was on you. You were only a child doing what was asked of you. I was a fool who tried to find pleasure in taking my issues with Clow's death out on you. You had nothing to do with his death, and yet I still had the audacity to try and make you pay for a crime you were merely the victim of. If there's anyone directly at fault for laying this burden upon you, its Kerberos. But, instead of getting mad at him, I got mad at you. For that, I sincerely apologize," Yue said with a bow of his head.
"Yue-san.." Sakura sputtered, unsure of what to say.
"From here on out, I wish to give you my complete loyalty and services. Not because Kerberos chose you as the new master of the Cards, but because you earned it. After how horribly I treated you, you still saw it in your heart to be kind to me. More than that, you became my friend and came to me when I needed one the most. That's why.. I pledge myself and my abilities to you and your will.. Sakura," the angel vowed. His eyes shimmered with fresh tears. No longer ashamed of them, he let them fall. Unable to find words, Sakura climbed out of bed and descended to bear hug her guardian moon angel. Awkwardly, he returned the hug but stiffened as he heard her sniffle.
"Sakura?" Yue inquired with great worry.
"I'm so happy, I can't help but cry," she confessed as her arms hugged him tighter. Yue went lax and Sakura smiled. "I'm glad that we could finally learn to understand one another," she told him as she looked up. Lacking the energy for words, the guardian simply nodded. Seeing as exhaustion was currently written in every part of him, she gently pushed him back down into his bed then tucked the blankets around him. The look of surprise on his face made her chuckle softly. "Good night, Yue-san. Sleep well."
"Um.. good night.. S-Sakura," he stammered. She gave him one last smile then climbed back into her own bed.
Several minutes later, Sakura heard Yue turn over. Peeking down, she found him surprisingly still awake. Intuition told her something still bothered him. A moment's thought gave her a solution. Though her cheeks turned rosy with embarrassment, she put forth her best effort to softly sing to him an English song Tomoya learned and passed on from Eriol.
"Violets, pretty violets,
Violets are for me.
O I'd turn up me nose
If he brung me a rose,
Cause he knows me nose
Is only used to violets."
Yue blinked and turned his head to glance towards his mistress as he heard her voice begin to drift through the air in song. He frowned as something told him he'd heard the song before. Yet, the passage of time had obscured the old memory in faded mist. Giving up the attempt to remember from whence he'd heard the song last, Yue opted to simply listen to Sakura sing it. He knew she was trying to bring comfort to him again. Oddly, he found it working like a charm.
"I don't care for a narcosis.
A narcosis ain't for me.
O I'd lay the guy to rest
With a lily on his chest
If he ever brung me
Anything but violets."
Yue inwardly chuckled at the words of the song. He was flattered that she'd picked one with a subject so closely resembling him. In fact, as he mulled over it, he found himself strangely melting inside into a relaxed puddle of silver goo.
"Violets, pretty violets,
Violets are for me.
O I'd turn up me nose
If he brung me a rose,
Cause he knows me nose
Is only used to violets."
Sakura finished her song and dared a glance back down at her guardian. She found her tactic had worked perfectly. The moon angel, currently minus his wings, was finally soundly sleeping. She grinned as she admired him. 'He's beautiful when he's sleeping,' she thought warmly. She blinked at the bizarre thought, "Whoa, where'd that come from?" Shaking her head, she snuggled into bed and surrendered to sleep for the night.
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AN: The violet song is an old folk song my grandmother use to sing. I felt it was a perfect song for Sakura to use as a lullaby that perhaps spoke more from the heart than she realized since violets come in both purple and purplish-silver. :)