A/N: Hey, guys! I got inspired from one of my favorite books as a kid and decided to make a fairy-tale parody out of it following the story of a boy named Georgilocks (LOL) who gets into trouble with the three Beatles. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the parody! By the way, I'm not the best at writing children's books.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Beatles or "Goldilocks and the Three Bears". And I most especially do not own the idea of parodies since this is my first one.
Once upon a time, there were three Beatles: Johnny Beatle, Paulie Beatle, and Ritchie Beatle.
They lived in a house on the outskirts of Liverpool.
One night, Paulie Beatle cooked up some porridge and fish and chips.
Johnny Beatle took one bite, nearly burnt his tongue, and cursed.
So, they decided to walk around Liverpool until their supper cooled off.
Ritchie Beatle complained that he was hungry, but nobody bothered to listen.
Meanwhile, there was a young man named Georgilocks (Goldilocks's brother: their mother had quite a way with names) walking in Liverpool and looking for food.
He saw a house on the outskirts of Liverpool and decided to see if there was any food in it.
He knocked on the door.
Nobody answered.
He pulled out the latch string and entered the house.
"People still have those?" he wondered out loud.
Georgilocks saw a table with porridge and fish and chips on it.
"As if," he scoffed, seemingly talking to the porridge bowls before shoving them out of the way.
Instead, he decided to help himself to the fish and chips.
First, he tried Johnny Beatle's fish and chips.
"Hmm... This fish and chips meal is too plain! It needs more tarragon," he declared.
From far away, Paulie Beatle felt like his cooking skills were being criticized and he did not like it.
Next, Georgilocks tried Paulie Beatle's fish and chips.
"Hmm...what the heck?! There's liver in this! This fish and chips meal is too crappy!" he exclaimed.
Finally, he tried Ritchie Beatle's fish and chips. It was not too plain or too crappy.
"Ah, this fish and chips meal is just right! It's just like Mum would've cooked it," Georgilocks proclaimed.
He ate Johnny Beatle and Paulie Beatle's meals too, except for the porridge.
He even ate a whole carrot cake from the fridge.
After all that food, Georgilocks felt stuffed.
He decided to let it all digest by sitting down and playing guitar for an hour.
He went to the living room and saw three chairs.
First, he tried out Johnny Beatle's chair.
"Hmm...this chair is too ugly! I don't like the plaid design," he declared.
Next, he tried out Paulie Beatle's chair.
"Hmm...Ew! This chair is too girly! I hate that shade of pink!" he exclaimed.
Finally, he tried out Ritchie Beatle's chair. It was not too ugly or too girly.
"Ah, this chair is just right! It has these nice paisley patterns on it," he proclaimed.
Georgilocks played guitar on the chair for a while until he jumped by mistake and the chair fell backwards.
"Ow, that hurt! I should probably rest, it's been a long day," he decided.
He made his way up the stairs whilst rubbing his head.
He went to the bedroom and saw three beds.
First, he tried sleeping in Johnny Beatle's bed.
"Hmm...this bed is too stinky. It smells like armpit and beer," he declared.
Next, he tried sleeping in Paulie Beatle's bed.
"Hmm...Yuck! This bed is too strong! One puff of perfume is enough!" he exclaimed.
Finally, he tried sleeping in Ritchie Beatle's bed. It was not too stinky or too strong.
"Ah, this bed is just right. Mmm, and it smells like strawberries," he proclaimed.
Georgilocks fell asleep in Ritchie Beatle's bed.
Later that evening, the three Beatles returned.
They gasped upon seeing their empty plates.
"Somebody ate me fish and chips!" Johnny Beatle cried.
"Somebody ate my fish and chips!" Paulie Beatle cried.
"Somebody ate me fish and chips! And he ate the whole carrot cake too!" Ritchie Beatle cried.
Johnny Beatle angrily stomped his foot.
"Blast! I was saving that cake for mesel-"
He turned just in time to see Paulie Beatle's look of disapproval.
"Er... I mean, the funeral!" he corrected, scratching his head guiltily.
"Uh-huh. Interesting," Paulie Beatle said, raising a delicate eyebrow.
The three Beatles ate their porridge and walked into the living room.
They gasped upon seeing their mildly disturbed chairs.
"Somebody's been sitting in me chair!" Johnny Beatle cried.
"Somebody's been sitting in my chair!" Paulie Beatle cried.
"Somebody's been sitting in me chair! And he knocked it over, too!" Ritchie Beatle cried.
"Say, guys, does this remind you of a kid's story of some sort?" Paulie Beatle inquired.
Johnny Beatle looked up in realization.
"Quick! Check upstairs!" he commanded.
The three Beatles ran upstairs and opened the door to their shared bedroom.
They gasped upon seeing their wrinkled sheets.
"Somebody's been sleeping in me bed!" Johnny Beatle cried.
"Somebody's been sleeping in my bed!" Paulie Beatle cried.
"Somebody's been sleeping in me bed! And he's still there, too!" Ritchie Beatle cried. Then he double-arched his eyebrows upon checking out the beautiful boy in his bed. "Although, I don't actually mind all that much," he added as an after-thought.
"What should we do, Paulie?!" Johnny Beatle panicked.
"I don't know, Johnny! You're the father figure in this story, what do you think?!" Paulie Beatle demanded impatiently.
"But...But you're the mum! Fathers don't do anything!" Johnny Beatle argued.
While the two Beatles argued over gender-roles in kids' books, Georgilocks woke up from his slumber.
Upon seeing the three Beatles, he panicked.
"Wait! I can explain! I was hungry and your house was unlocked, so I - "
"Shhh," Ritchie Beatle hushed, placing his index finger on Georgilocks's lips.
The younger boy stopped talking and the three Beatles decided to keep Georgilocks as a band member. But on three conditions: he had to fix fish and chips for supper the next night, buy a chair, and sleep in a bed with Ritchie Beatle.
THE END.