Okay, this is my first time with this pairing and I bet they might be OOC but guys I just couldn't stop myself from doing this okay? I love aokaga/kagaao and it was their month and Kagami's birthday and Aomine's birthday and I just had to freaking contribute with something for my beloved babiessss!
what is this ship DOING TA MEEEE!
Btw it hurt me to do this to Kuroko but it had to be done D': I hope you can forgive me Kuroko! /:
ANYWAYS! MY LOVELY DUCKINGS, this was supposed to be a one-shot but we all know me right? I can never just write a freaking 1,000-2,000 word one-shot no, must write over 15,000 words of one-shot and just ugh.
I hope everyone enjoys this xD
HAPPY AOKAGA/KAGAAO MONTH AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAI-CHAN :'D
WARNINGS: characters don't belong to me and they may be OOC and oh it's a YAOI meaning M/M sexy time. yes, i have gone into that dark territory D:
"Vindicated."
I inhaled then exhaled around the cigarette I was currently smoking.
The smoke that infiltrated my mouth left a lingering bitter taste of tobacco behind.
Tch…
Why was I even doing this? I mean I'm not a smoker… I shouldn't even be doing this because in the long run this little shit is going to be the death of me and let's not even mention the fact that I was firefighter in training.
The amount of forest fires and house fires these sticks cause should be enough reason to put it down- but…
But I can't…
At this moment it's the only thing alleviating me of my stress… of the choke-hold my feelings have on me. It's my escape at that moment… just for a moment I want to run away… run away from what I feel and pretend that it's not even there.
Just for one moment I want to pretend.
Feelings and emotions can be so troublesome.
Is it really possible to love two people at the same time?
Kuroko…
He is such an amazing boyfriend… he really is but… but I would be lying to myself if I went around saying that I still felt the same as I did back in high school…
I am lying to myself pretending that I really haven't fallen in love with someone else… and what's worse is that that someone else is none other than Aomine…
That bastard…
I keep pondering; trying to remember the moment… the moment when he became more than just a rival… more than what he was destined to be in my life but after much thinking I realized that there wasn't just a moment… no, not just a moment but many moments that lead up to that point…
I came to the conclusion it was something destined to happen since the first time I met him on that court where he asked for a one-on-one…
After that everything that happened was inevitable and that's why I hate it because I feel like I had no choice in the matter… my body… the emotions in me did this without permission or consent.
I was looking for neither a new partner nor someone else to fall in love with but it just happened.
"Kagami-kun, why are you smoking?"
I looked down towards my right and practically jumped five feet in the air.
"SHIT! Kuroko! why do you always do that!?"
"Do what?" he asked me with a blank expression except his eyes were filled with mirth and deviousness.
And as I looked at him, at Kuroko's smiling eyes I felt even more like a bastard.
Sure I haven't cheated on him, hell, I haven't even told Aomine what I felt nor knew if he even felt the same way.
I didn't even know if Aomine liked men but wasn't the mere fact that I was in love with someone else that wasn't Kuroko already considered a type… form of cheating? Because that's what it felt like for me yet I couldn't end it with Kuroko… I couldn't- I just don't want hurt him and besides what was the point in even chasing after Aomine?
Besides I still hold feelings for Kuroko and I just…
"Kagami-kun, are you okay? You still haven't told me why you were smoking."
I inhaled a deep breath of air before letting it all out as a sigh.
"M'sorry Kuroko… I was just spaced out."
"So… you smoke now?"
"No."
"Kagami-kun may I ask then why were you smoking just now?"
"I was stressed… I guess you could say I wanted to try it? But don't worry I'm not planning on continuing it."
I looked down at the pale blue head seeing Kuroko nod his head once before he looked back up at me. His cyan eyes boring into my own searching for something, he looked at me for a good minute before he sighed and placed his cool hand on top of the hand I had on the balcony railing. He stared down at our linked hands, his thumb moving in circles, caressing the skin there.
His touch was so gentle and loving.
"You know you can tell me anything, right Kagami-kun?"
"Kuroko what are you—"
"Whatever is troubling you, you can tell me Kagami-kun. I promise to give you a listening ear because that is what a boyfriend is supposed to do."
At that moment I felt like punching myself multiple times because the words that just left his mouth were just so sincere and laced with caring love.
I owed him for so many things…
I smiled down at him then proceeded to grab his free hand. I bend down a bit and placed a kiss on the top. "Yeah, thank you, Kuroko."
"Anytime, Kagami-kun." He said with a faint blush dusting his cheeks before composing himself and looking at me again.
"Kagami-kun will you be meeting up with Aomine-kun today to play a one-on-one?"
Just the mention of that idiot put a smile on my face before I promptly answered Kuroko his question. "Yeah why?"
"Just asking… will you be back late?" He said as Nigou came running outside causing me to cringe in my spot. I watched how Kuroko bent over to grab the dog cradling it in his arms running his fingers through its fur while the dog licked his cheek.
That dog wasn't as small as he used to be yet Kuroko still babied him every chance he got…
I don't know how Kuroko was able to tolerate dogs.
I was more of a cat person.
Fuck dogs.
With that thought in mind I went and answered my lover.
"No, I don't think so, I have firefighter training tomorrow early in the morning. Why?"
"Well I was thinking we could go out and eat somewhere. It's been awhile since we've sat down and talked together."
I couldn't help but feel fucking guilty at that response.
I felt like a piece of shit at that moment as I looked at Kuroko because I knew it was the truth.
It's been awhile since me and him did anything together… I couldn't even remember the last time we had sex…
"I'm sorry about that… I know we haven't done much lately."
"No it's okay Kagami-kun, really, I understand."
"It's not okay!" I yelled out startling the man in front of me a bit. "Listen I just feel really shitty about it, okay? It's not good that I do that. Tell you what… how's it sound if I cancel my one-on-one with that bastard and take you out to eat?"
Kuroko just looked down to his left and nodded his head. He had the faintest smile on his face and I couldn't help but feel proud of that.
"Okay…" he said.
I loved knowing it was me who put that tiny yet sincere smile there.
But that smile is nothing compared to his smile…
To the big genuine smile he wears… the smile he's not able to hide and just appears from how genuinely happy he feels…
The smile he only has when he plays with you…
Only with you…
And that was all it took for my mind to forget about Kuroko and in its place be flood with thoughts of that asshole.
It felt at times like my mind would play tricks on me.
I felt like I was losing a battle against him… he just haunts my every thought and desire…
Will there ever come a time when I don't feel this way anymore? Will you ever leave me alone, Aomine?
I want to say that I wish for that to happen yet I know I would be lying to myself…
I don't want to hurt you, Kuroko but how can I ever let you go and explain the reason without doing damage?
Tell me how?
It wasn't till I saw a pale hand waving in my face that I realized I had spaced out…
Shit…
"Um, Kagami-kun? Are you okay?"
"Uh, yeah… yeah I am. Listen Kuroko let me give Aomine a call and tell him I'm cancelling today's meet up. Go get ready!" I said while walking away, yelling the last part over my shoulder as I went to go get my phone from my room.
As I reached my room I saw my phone actually had the blue led light blinking alerting me that I had a missed call or e-mail.
I picked up my phone to see that I had one missed call from Aomine followed by a text that said—
Ahomine: Are we meeting up or what?
I let out a deep sigh as I text him that I couldn't make it today because I had made plans with Kuroko at the last minute.
The response was immediate.
Ahomine: Ok, Bakagami.
Is it weird that I felt like my mood plummeted a bit knowing I wouldn't be able to see this guy?
Granted he was an asshole but he just made me happy when I saw him…
I breathed in a deep breath before letting it out.
I had other priorities to attend to and Kuroko deserved it yet as I did all of this. I knew that soon I would have to break up with Kuroko it just wasn't fair to him… what I'm doing is wrong and I can't continue on with this lie.
I don't want to hurt him but it isn't good to do this… not healthy for either him or me.
One week later…
I was doing Kuroko a favor, cleaning his house because you would think acting like he did he would be a guy who kept things spotless but it was actually quite the opposite but I wanted to do this since the little outing me and him had a week ago didn't end so well…
We had gone out and it had been fine it was just when we got home Kuroko had been in the mood and me… well, not so much.
That led to an argument over how we are never intimate anymore making me feel like the ass that I was because it was true.
Kuroko had ignored me all week claiming that he needed space and I just couldn't take it, the guilt eating me inside was too much and I just had to do something about it.
So I called him and apologized for my behavior, he accepted it but with the condition that I did him the favor of cleaning out his house.
And it was while I cleaned out the dust bunnies accumulated under his bed when the broom I was using bumped into a box.
I was confused so I did what was natural- I went and took the box out from under the bed. My curiosity was peaked once I had a rather large box in my lap that had the word 'MEMORIES' written on it.
I was tempted.
Oh so tempted to have a look inside even when I knew I shouldn't.
This was invasion of privacy and something that shouldn't be done…
But lo and behold! I never listen to my idiotic self because well… a peak wouldn't hurt right? Besides Kuroko wouldn't be back till the night time because he had a meeting right after school and a dinner with some coworkers.
So I peaked…
I took the lid off which was covered in dust and took a look inside.
They were all photos…
Photos containing Kuroko's past… his days at Teiko…
Though there weren't only photos from his time in middle there also was photos from when he was a child and as he grew up as well…
Photos from our time in Seirin high school as well, but it was the photos he had from Teiko that mattered to me.
They mattered because those were the photos that contained a care-free Aomine… Of how he was back then before I met him… the guy who loved basketball in its most purest sense but yet as I rummaged through the photographs of a middle school Aomine and Generation of Miracles I stumbled upon photographs of Aomine and Kuroko…
Of the two of them together… Of them doing things and going out…
I currently held a photo in my hands that consisted of a young Aomine kissing Kuroko in the mouth while smiling looking away from the person who took the photo.
Aomine looked so happy what with the way his eyes glanced at the camera showing they were filled with mirth and love and it just made me sick to my stomach.
Aomine had his arm around Kuroko's shoulder, his hand lacing lazily with Kuroko's as they kissed. They were in a basketball court and the day looked sunny but all the background details didn't mean shit to me.
All I was able to focus on was the fact that they were locking lips… that Kuroko was kissing him which only meant one thing…
They had been lovers at some point in time…
Kuroko and Aomine…
Kuroko and Aomine…
I could feel my chest constricting in pain and my mouth go dry leaving me feeling parched…
I didn't know how to feel… I just felt a bunch of negative emotions settle in the pit of my stomach… I felt hollow and for some reason a bit broken?
But I shouldn't care… this wasn't even my business in the first place… if they chose to not tell me they had their own reasons right?
No…
Feeling like I had looked enough I put all the pictures back inside the box then proceeded to put the lid on and placed it back under the bed where I had found it.
Except I kept that picture of Aomine and Kuroko kissing… I would show it Kuroko and ask about it because I just needed to know…
Suddenly I was really into the whole cleaning thing because I needed something to calm me… to distract me from the gnawing feeling I had inside of me… something to distract me from my anxiety.
Hours later, right as I finished making food for me and Kuroko I heard the keys jingling outside the door. I made food because knowing Kuroko he didn't eat anything in the dinner except for a drink.
And my assumption was confirmed when he opened his door and he complimented the smell of food filing the atmosphere of his home.
"It smells delicious Kagami-kun and I'm thankful you cooked because I am starving."
"Sure thing!" I said over my shoulder as I fixed the plates, I decided to make rice and curry, something simple. Kuroko liked simple things.
Not like Aomine.
He always had a different idea on what to eat though he tended to always want teriyaki burgers… his favorite.
As I walked towards the table with the two plates of food Kuroko decided to sit down while losing up his tie. The table was already made and I decided to buy a wine to go with the dinner. I placed the plates down before seating down while mentally making sure I did in fact turn of the stove- which I did.
I sighed as I grabbed my chopsticks while I stared at Kuroko silently eating his food, chewing his food delicately.
I could feel the photo in my pocket… even if it was just a photo… paper; it felt like it weighed a ton. Almost as if it was a block of steel inside my pocket instead of a mere picture.
I swallowed around the lump in my throat as I tried to think of a way to just say what I wanted to say.
I looked down at my plate and just sighed.
Fuck it.
I'm just gonna ask him straight out; besides I'm known for being blunt and not beating around the bush and It's worked for me so far in life.
"Oi Kuroko?"
"Yes, Kagami-kun?"
"When I was cleaning your house earlier I found a box under your bed and well, I'm sorry but I snooped around and found…" I paused for a second as I pivoted to my right and used my hand to pull out the photograph placing it right in front of him. "This."
Kuroko made no expression whatsoever as he stared down at the photo and all he said was—
"Oh. this? Yeah, Aomine and I dated for a bit back in middle school Kagami-kun." Then he proceeded to take another bite of food as he stared at me.
I didn't know how to feel.
So did this mean that bastard was gay?
Why didn't they tell me!?
I was mad… but mad at the fact that Aomine had been with someone else…
I looked at Kuroko then rubbed my eyes with my left hand. "Would you care to elaborate a bit more on that?"
"Sure. We dated and well… we were each other's firsts."
At that moment my breathing stopped.
Kuroko had been his first?
First…
What…?
"So he's—"
"Gay? Yes, Aomine-kun is gay… Well, he does love looking at women but sexually wise… he's only been with men up until now… well, that I know of really." He paused for a moment to wipe his mouth and clear his throat a bit before speaking once again. "I think if you really want to know more you should talk about it with him."
I didn't know how to feel… I don't know if there is a specific emotion I was supposed to feel at a moment like this…
Why would he hide such an important piece of information from me? Just why?
I felt betrayed in a way… unimportant and jealous.
I wanted to know why…
Why? Why did you hide this from me Aomine…?
The rest of the dinner was eaten in silence, Kuroko talked here and there but I wouldn't really answer him because my thoughts at the moment were all over the place, my mind trying to process the new information I was given.
Kuroko was his first…
Kuroko had Aomine first… he knew him in ways that I would never know him in…
Kuroko was with me now and I-I don't love him the way he should be loved…
What am I doing with my life?
As Kuroko picked up the table I pulled out my phone and sent Aomine a quick text.
Me: What are you doing?
And as always the response was immediate.
Ahomine: Shooting some hoops in our court. Why?
Me: Mind if I join ya for a bit?
Ahomine: Nope, No I don't mind wiping the floor with your face at all ;) Hurry up bitch.
Oh I would hurry.
Don't worry about that Aomine.
I got up and told Kuroko that I was going for a walk to clear my mind to which he approved of saying he understood if I wanted some space to think but not without warning me to never snoop through his things again without permission. Kuroko was pretty scary when he wanted to be.
The walk to the basketball court was the shortest I ever had… maybe it had to do with the fact that as I walked over there I began to feel anger rise within me.
Why? Because I just didn't understand why he would lie and hide such important details about himself.
Why wouldn't he want me to know?
Just why?!
It was then that I arrived and I saw Aomine right there at our basketball court shooting some hoops just as he said he was. He threw the ball with one flick of his arm and the ball flew in the air travelling straight into the hoop with a soft Swish.
He let the ball fall to the ground while he decided at that moment to wipe the sweat that had accumulated on his body with the hem of his sleeveless loose t-shirt.
It was then… that as I stared at him, stared at his perfect abdominal muscles and rippling abs… the way the muscles all over his body would move and stretch…
The way his dark tan skin looked so smooth to the touch and tasty even if it was currently covered in sweat that I snapped.
Because someone else has already touched him… someone else has already had him…
Because that someone else had been Kuroko…
Aomine had lost his virginity with him… to him…
Kuroko has had Aomine all to himself… before me and-and I knew… I KNEW that I shouldn't be mad about it all… that if I was to be mad it should be because he didn't tell me he had a thing with my boyfriend…
I would say relationship – because that's what it had been- but the thought alone left an extreme bitter taste in my mouth…
I was mad…
Mad that it wasn't me…
I was jealous of Kuroko for having been with him first…
I was fucking pissed that it never occurred to either of them to tell me…
So I snapped…
I lost control of myself- who I was in this moment.
I practically flew to where he was standing. He had finished cleaning himself with his shirt and had immediately noticed me.
His beautiful sea-blue eyes immediately filled up with excitement at seeing me but all of that didn't matter to me at the moment…
No, it didn't…
Because I wanted to know… no, scratch that- I needed to know why?
Why hadn't he told me he was gay? Why hadn't he told me he had been with Kuroko?!
WHY!?
"Oi! What's up Bakaga—"
Except he wasn't able to finish his sentence… his usual greeting because I just pushed him… pushed him with all of the force that I had in me. I watched as how he managed with his insane reflexes to prevent himself from falling but not from stumbling away from the force I had used before yelling out—
"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?! WHY!?"
I said that with all the emotions I had raging in me at the moment because I hated to admit I had actually been hurt…
Disappointed in finding out this piece of information.
And Aomine being the hot-head that he was responded back immediately with the same fervor as me.
"THE FUCK IS YOUR DEAL ASSHOLE?!"
"YOU TELL ME, YOU BASTARD!" I bit back at him causing him to snarl at me. I couldn't control the way my fist would clench and unclench from my fury and I could also catch the way Aomine's fists were mimicking my hands actions.
"TELL YOU WHAT EXACTLY!?" he yelled out at me.
"REALLY?" I said to him. I was behaving irrationally and I couldn't control any of it.
This is what you do to me, Aomine…
"YEAH!"
"WELL, I DON'T KNOW- HOW ABOUT FORGETTING TO TELL ME THAT YOU AND KUROKO DATED AND THAT YOU WERE EACH OTHERS FIRSTS! HOWS THAT! DID I REFRESH YOUR FUCKING MIND A BIT NOW? ARE YA GETTING SOME CLARITY?!"
And as soon as I said those words the aggression he was feeling… the anger he had been emitting just a second ago deflated completely… he stood there staring at me with an expression I couldn't decipher but just because he wasn't angry didn't mean that my fury had simmered down…
"So you're just going to stay quiet now, huh? Is that it!?" I snarled at him.
"Kagami—"
"NO!"
"Listen Kagami… I-I … I'm sorry for keeping that a secret it's just that…"
"Just what?"
"I couldn't tell you okay? That had happened a long, long time ago and it didn't end well and when we finally became friends you began dating Tetsu and I just didn't want to tell you okay…?"
"Why though? Why keep it a secret!"
"I don't know okay!"
"Bullshit you asshole, you know why!" I said as I walked closer towards him, closer till I was practically bumping heads with him. "Tell me." I snarled out.
Aomine had his eyebrows furrowed but his mouth was in the shape of a frown… his eyes showed disappointment and I could slowly feel my anger dissipating at the defeated look I saw in those eyes.
"I didn't want to lose you…" he whispered out.
My eyes stared deep into his as all the anger and jealousy I had felt in me disappeared.
Just like that.
Gone. Leaving me feeling a bit hollow and empty now that I didn't know which emotion to feel.
"My relationship was rocky with Tetsu… the way things had ended between me and him…" he trailed of before sighing and furrowing his eyebrows more as he continued to speak. "If you knew what had happened between me and him… just… you had just began to date in that time and I just didn't want to damage what we had… didn't want to lose yet another person in my life… just…" he gripped onto his hair before letting out a curse word.
"Just… Fuck! You weren't supposed to know! I didn't want you to think that I was hanging out with you because of Tetsu or because I had feelings for him… I didn't want that to damage our already fragile and complicated ass friendship… it seemed the right thing to do at that point in time." He said as he paced back and forth in front of me.
And what he said got me thinking…
Did he still harbor such feelings for Kuroko still?
At that simple thought I could feel my heart clench in agony. I looked at Aomine who was currently staring down at the ground looking like a lost puppy.
The question left my mouth before I could stop it.
"Well, do you?"
He lifted his gaze to stare right into my eyes once again, I could see he was trying to read me but that was pointless…
How could he figure me out when I, myself didn't have me figured out?
"Do I what, Kagami?"
"Do you still love him? Do you still love Kuroko?"
"No." he said. "No, I don't… not one bit."
And just like that I received my answer. No hesitation. No pause.
It was quiet after that… I could feel the wind on my skin and it offered me no comfort. My thoughts went blank after that.
I got what I had wanted… got the answers I wanted but for what?
Just what the fuck was I even doing? I could feel Aomine stare at me because I bet he too must be questioning all of this. What was the point in all that I just did? What was I hoping to accomplish?
Yet all I could find myself saying was—
"I'm sorry…" I said it because I really didn't know what else to respond with. "I-I… I overreacted and I guess it's because I didn't know… just fuck… I'm sorry about that."
"How'd you find out?" he said while he went to retrieve his forgotten basketball that was by the fence.
"What?" I said as I looked at his retreating back.
"I said how you found out … you know, about me and Tetsu."
I didn't know how to answer that really… well, more like I didn't want to say I had been snooping around and found out stuff that was obviously meant to be kept from me.
"Um, I found an old picture of you two kissing and just asked Kuroko about it…"
"I see…" He said as he walked back over to me while dribbling the ball with his left.
There was still one more thing I wanted to know.
One more thing I wanted to ask.
"So, you're gay?" I said without any preamble and the question made Aomine stop dribbling the ball letting silence linger in the atmosphere between us.
It was tense all of a sudden.
I could feel my heart beating faster in my chest as I waited for his answer and I didn't know why since I knew the answer… Kuroko had given it to me but for some reason it feels like Aomine admitting it to me would mean so much more than anything any other person would say- even if that person was Kuroko.
"Why the question?" he said quietly, so quiet I barely caught it but I did and I answered him.
"Because you dated a male… because Kuroko admitted to the both of you being each other's first… because I wanna know why you would keep something so crucial about yourself hidden from me when everyone else knows…"
"Kagami—"
"Just answer the question Aho."
I could see that I was pushing him.
I keep pushing him and pushing him trying to find out all these answers yet I'm not stopping to think of what will I do with all this information I have on my hands… what do I plan to do with it all?
Just what am I doing?
What do I plan to accomplish?
"Yes."
"But what about your fascination with boobs?"
"I like women just… well, they're nice to look at but to be honest the three times I had sex with them it just… Shit Kagami, I'm practically spilling my soul here!" he said as he threw his arms into the air.
"I was just curious…" I said as I pursed my lips and looked off to the side.
"Why?" He asked and the moment my ears heard that question I froze.
I didn't think I would be asked anything in returned.
I expected to come here, get answers and leave.
Yet he had a point.
Why am I being so noisy?
Did I really not know how to control my feelings? I couldn't just up and tell him it was because I was in love with him, no, that was just out of the question.
"Why do you care anyways?"
Feeling defensive all of a sudden I looked back at him and snarled.
"I don't care!"
"So why the interrogation then, Bakagami!?" he yelled out as he began walking towards me again. He only stopped till he was right in front of me… only a few centimeters away. "Why?"
He looked down at my lips as he whispered the question to me.
I couldn't move.
I felt like I was paralyzed. That time had stopped and it was only me and him.
He was close, so close to me my mind didn't know what to do anymore and forgot how to control my body.
I could feel his heat… see his body covered in sweat and smell his musk.
The way he looked at my lips… Looked at me, it felt as if he was holding back, forcing himself to not do something.
His eyes then moved from my lips to my eyes and I really couldn't help but fall more in love with him… more in love with the deep blue eyes he had that were currently filled with so much emotion I felt like I would burst under their gaze.
"I don't know why…" I whispered and I could feel his body shifting closer to mines. "I don't want to admit why…"
Aomine just kept getting closer and closer till I knew what he was gonna do. The only warning I got was the feel of his breaths on my lips before he closed the gap and pressed his lips delicately against mine. I could feel his hands holding my head gently as he pressed his lips more firmly against my own before letting go and pulling away.
Everything was done with such care and gentleness yet so fast my brain wasn't able to catch up on time with what had happened.
His midnight blue eyes looked at me again, his hands dropped to his sides lifelessly as I stared at him confused.
"Aomine… I…" I said to him as he took a few steps back.
"You don't need to say it Kagami, I know." He said as he picked up his basketball and began to walk away. "It will always be Tetsu."
And I watched him walk away without once turning to look back.
I watched him walk away without stopping him.
That night I walked back to my apartment instead of Kuroko's.
That night I decided that I couldn't do this to Kuroko anymore… that I needed to end it with him because I was clearly not worth his time anymore…
After three whole days of thinking and pondering on how to break-up with Kuroko I decided that there really isn't any nice way of breaking up with something.
I can't avoid hurting him but I can try my best to not be an asshole about it.
So as I dialed his number and he picked up and greeted me with his usual greeting I felt like a total douche about what I was about to do.
"Hey, um, we need to talk. Think you can pass by my house later?" I mentally cursed myself for using the whole 'we need to talk'.
Way to go moron.
"That won't be necessary Kagami-kun."
"Huh?" I said as I pressed my phone closer towards my ear. "Won't be what?"
"Necessary, it won't be necessary."
"Why won't it be—"
"Really Kagami-kun I know. I know and I want to tell you that it's okay. Our time has come to its end. I can't make you stay if you don't want to stay. We can't stay together if our relationship is clearly going nowhere. It's not healthy." I heard a deep sigh from the other end of the phone before Kuroko spoke yet again. "I understand and it's okay. Please, I want you to be happy."
"Kuroko… I'm so sorry I couldn't be the one…" and I have never meant anything in the world as much as those words did. I genuinely felt sorry that I could be the one. That I failed him… failed us.
I'm so sorry…
So sorry that I couldn't love you the way that you wanted me to…
"I am too Kagami-kun."
The line was quiet after that letting me think that he had clicked on me but that thought was discarded when I heard Kuroko's voice again.
"I'm gonna need some time Kagami-kun but I just want you to know that I still want us to be friends. I want us both to be happy."
"Yeah… I understand."
"Talk to you some other time Kagami-kun."
"Yeah, good-bye."
And that was that…
Even though I knew this was the right thing to do I still felt hollow inside because I still cared for Kuroko, I still loved him in some way and it still hurt that I caused him pain.
It had been three days since Aomine kissed me in the basketball court… three days in which he and I didn't talk.
Now that I was single what was I supposed to do? Should I tell that idiot how I feel or what…?
It doesn't matter because when I attempted to call him my call just went straight to voice-mail.
Three months later…
It's been three months since me and Kuroko broke up… three months since I've seen Aomine.
Not even Kuroko had spoken to him.
It was like he just disappeared of the face of the earth.
One day he was just gone.
I tried to call and text him multiple times but never got any response. I visited his apartment but found out that it was empty and hat he moved out.
Three months of searching for him but to no avail.
I was ready to give up.
But all of that changed when I took the train home one day and stumbled upon a certain ganguro riding the same train as me…
I guess god had finally heard me and I would finally be able to tell him how I felt once and for all…
I had been taking the train back home from work when from the spot I was standing in I caught sight of blue… of dark blue hair and tan skin.
Right in front of me… on the other side of the train ride was Aomine. He was standing grabbing onto the pole just like me. He hadn't noticed me yet because he was currently looking down at his phone. He let go of the pole for a moment to text something in his phone real quick before putting it back in his pocket.
It was then that he noticed me.
His eyes went wide then just as quickly they narrowed.
I wasn't expecting to see him here… after trying to contact him for the past months and coming up empty I really thought he just disappeared of the face of the earth.
But he didn't.
He was here.
This was my chance.
I needed to tell him what I felt.
I wanted to know why he had kissed me that day.
The air was a bit chilly now since we were entering fall, he was wearing a blue coat and a white t-shirt under. I wasn't able to see what else he was wearing but it didn't matter because I was just glad to see him at all.
The train stopped and as soon as the door opened he fled.
Not today you asshole.
I pushed through the people to reach the other side and as soon as I was off the train I began to scan the crowds for a tall dark male with blue hair.
Wasn't hard to be honest since he stood out like a sore thumb, he was pushing through the crowds but if he thought he would get away then he had another thing coming.
"AOMINE!" I yelled out. I could see him visibly flinch and walking faster now.
I pushed my way through the people apologizing every second. My eyes focused solely on him.
"AOMINE!" I yelled again as I got closer and closer to him but the bastard just continued to ignore me.
Seriously, if he was going to behave this way then why was I going to bother in telling him anything at all?
'Because you need to tell him.' my mind said and it was right.
I had to get this off of my chest.
I continued to follow him even if he was practically speed walking away from me.
Once we reached outside I was close enough to him that I was able to grab onto his coat, so I did.
"Hey you asshole don't you hear me calling you!?"
Besides a sigh leaving his mouth he remained quiet and continued walking.
I narrowed my eyes as I followed him.
"What so you're just gonna ignore me now? Pretend that I'm not here? That I don't exist!?"
No response.
He just continued walking not even looking my way.
"Seriously Aomine I don't know what I did wrong for you to be behaving like this with me? What the hell man!"
Nothing but silence…
I was seriously looking like a lunatic right now talking to myself.
It was making me angry that he was behaving like such a douche not even bothering to tell me what was wrong.
"Can you just tell me at least why you're behaving this way?"
When I didn't receive a response I decided to just walk in front of him and get in his way.
"You can't ignore me forever you asshole!" I bit out; he looked at me before he rolled his eyes at me and walked around me.
"I'm not leaving!" I yelled out. "I'll follow you home and won't stop until you talk to me!" I said as I followed him again.
I decided to stay quiet after that as I followed him. Mainly because people all around stared at me like I was a lunatic.
It wasn't until he stepped inside an unknown building and he pressed the button of the elevator that I began to talk again.
"You moved?! Are you serious! Did you seriously just move to another place so that you could avoid me?!"
It was then that as the elevator opened that he turned around and spoke.
"Seriously you really don't know how to take a hint do you?" he said while stepping into the elevator backwards.
"No, I don't. I wanna know why you're ignoring me. I wanna know what I did wrong?!" I said as made to follow him before a dark tanned hand pressed up against my chest. I stared at it then at Aomine. He shook his head at me.
"You're not coming with me Kagami. Go home." He said as he looked away from to press a button.
"Like hell I am!" I said as I slapped his hand away and forced myself inside. "You don't tell me what to do!"
"What the fuck! Bakagami! What are you doing?!"
"I'm coming with!" I said as I made my way to stand opposite of him.
"Fuck off!"
"No." I said as I crossed my arms over my chest. "No, not until we talk and you tell me why you're acting this way."
I could hear him curse under his breath as he pinched the bridge of his nose.
"You know what? Fine, follow me all you like but if you think you're getting inside my apartment then you better think twice."
"Talking in the hallway is fine with me as long as I get my answers." A said right after.
Then once the elevator stopped and the doors opened was that I realized the weight of what I had come to do.
I came to confess… yet the more the thought crossed my mind and the more I saw how Aomine was behaving towards the more I was second guessing that idea.
Maybe I shouldn't confess?
Yeah. Maybe I should just… go home…?
As I stepped out of the elevator and looked at Aomine's retreating back I realized that maybe he was ignoring me for a reason.
That maybe I should just let him go. Let him be since he obviously looked like he wanted nothing to do with me.
I can't make something stay that doesn't want to be here in the first place, right?
Maybe this is my karma for not returning Kuroko's love the way that I should have.
I sighed and bit my lips as I finally made my decision.
I would give him what he wanted but not before at least saying what I had to say. Not without expressing my confusion and I guess you could say hurt.
"If you really don't want me in your life then I'll go" At the sound of my voice he stopped in his tracks yet remained giving me his back. "I'll go and never come back… I just… I just wanted to know why you disappeared like that. What I did to make you react this way with me but I guess I have to accept that sometimes we can't get all the answers we want and just have to be satisfied with what we do get. So I'll leave but I just want to say that I'm sorry for whatever I did that caused such anger towards me. That is all… Goodb—"
I wasn't able to finish my sentence though because in that moment Aomine decided to finally turn around and look at me. The look his gaze held had me frozen.
So much emotion... So overwhelming...
He walked a few more steps towards me and just looked at me.
He was really looking at me.
His midnight blue eyes felt like they were boring into my soul digging for an answer that he was obviously looking for. His gaze didn't leave me wondering for too long though because then in a flash I felt warm, strong hands on my shoulders making the skin there feel as if it was on fire almost as if electricity was shooting through me traveling straight to my groin effectively fueling the pool of desire I felt around Aomine all the time. But I wasn't able to dwell for too long on the way that Aomine's hands felt on my skin because I was soon concentrating on the fact that my back collided against the wall. My senses went on overdrive at that moment.
I was confused yet I was also paralyzed because the man I loved was right here in front of me... He was so close and pressed up against me that I didn't know what to do.
The warmth his body emitted was overwhelming and something I found myself craving more off.
His smell... His cologne- it was embedded in my mind… a scent I don't think I would ever forget.
I was feeling and breathing Aomine and there was nothing that could stop it.
I was mad with myself because I should be pushing him away, I should be telling him to go fuck himself and to watch with the way in which he grabbed me but I didn't.
I wasn't blushing nor was I acting cowardly… I just stood there doing nothing...
Because deep inside... Deep into my subconscious I knew I wanted this more than anything in the world.
His face was so close to mines that our panting breath's caused by our exertion were mixing. So close that I could see every detail of his face, something that I hadn't been able to see that time he kissed me on the basketball court... He had no blemishes and it looked soft to the touch... I could see how his lashes were a dark navy blue that practically looked black but the way the light shines on them you could see that they were just as blue as the rest of the hair on his body.
After a moment of just looking at each other I finally found the strength to speak... To say something... Anything.
"Aomine..."
Even if that word was really just his name… was I really just deduced to only speaking his name? Did my mind forget how to form sentences or was it just that it was too preoccupied with the fact that Aomine was breaking into my personal bubble… I couldn't stand for this nor was I a fool who couldn't speak but Aomine stopped whatever else was to leave my mouth next.
Apparently he also needed something to say...
"I'm selfish Kagami. I'm so fucking selfish... More than you will ever know."
What he said completely caught me off guard.
Why was he saying this? I mean it wasn't really a secret that the Aomine Daiki was at times an ass and selfish but what did that have to do with anything that was happening at the moment? Yet before I could question him he continued speaking.
"And I hate myself because of that because when I want something I don't care what's in my way... If I want it I get it..."
"What the hell are you going on about?!"
"I want you Kagami but you're Testu's... I want you but I don't wanna hurt him... Do you see my dilemma?"
"I..."
"I'm so selfish because I don't even care about Tetsu as long as in the end I get you..." he leaned in closer till his lips were only a brush away from my own "But I... I don't wanna hurt Tetsu more than I already have... It's taking everything I have in me to control myself and just not ravage you the way that I want to... This is why I've been distancing myself from you because I can't stand the fact that I can't have you."
"… Ao—"
"You want to know what the worst part is."
"What?"
"The only thing stopping me is the simple fact that I know you don't feel the same way because I know it will always be Kuroko… it will always be him and not me and if for one second I thought that I had a chance with you, Kagami, I would take it… I would take you away from Tetsu because that's who I really am… this is why we can't be friends nor hang out anymore because I'm not a good guy… I'm not the good guy here and you know this..."
I Looked at Aomine who at the moment wasn't looking at me but at my lips. I could feel his lips brushing against my own making me break out in shivers and shudders… my body trembling with the need I had in me to just feel him.
The need to just kiss him and finally allow myself to have a taste of him…
It was overpowering and overwhelming.
I couldn't believe that after all this time he felt the same way as I did.
That he was tortured this much.
That he had to deal with his feelings this entire time.
and I was suddenly hit with such desperation and need to tell him that he wasn't alone in this… that he wasn't the only who struggled with feelings and thoughts that shouldn't be there in the first place…
I needed to tell him because I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I didn't.
Because I needed to finally spill what I held bottled up in me threatening to drown me alive.
Time to tell him what I had meant to tell him since the beginning...
"You're not the only bad guy here Daiki…" I spoke the sentence in a low timber and whispered his name. He stopped looking at my lips in favor of staring into my eyes, his deep blue orbs filled with confusion and with another emotion that could only be described as hope.
"Did you just…"
"You're not the only guy who feels like they betrayed Kuroko… because I… I also betrayed him… I betrayed him the moment I fell or you."
His eyes widened in surprised before they narrowed and he sneered at me with his teeth bared.
"Are you messing around with me bastard?!" he placed his hands on my chest scrunching my shirt in his fists, he pulled me closer to him before he slammed me back against the wall again.
But I made sure to keep compose and remain calm.
I looked at him again before my gaze landed on his lips. "Does it sound like I'm playing?" I said with a firm tone of voice. The question lingering in the air before I decided that too much silence was filtering the hallway of Aomine's building. I looked up again glancing into those blue orbs before I allowed my own to flutter close because I just couldn't look at him at the moment… no, not with what I was about to say.
"Kuroko and I are over…" I said into the air to break the tense silence that had taken over. "I wanted to tell you since before but you just disappeared and ignored me… ignored my calls and my text messages."
"Kagami…" he whispered with such awe and hope that it made my heart flutter.
"Kagami… look at me."
I didn't want to look at him.
At least not at the moment because I thought I was going to burst from the emotions I was feeling inside.
For the love of god! When did I become such a sap? I was behaving like a girl which was anything but acceptable.
I slowly opened my eyes so that they could look into his.
I don't care what anyone ever says but his eyes were so captivating… so deep and dark like the ocean water when you're out in the deep.
Mesmerizing…
I looked at his lips and could only think to myself about how enticing they were and before I could stop it my mouth spoke the words that I have wanted to say for so long…
"Kiss me…"
And he really didn't have to be told twice because in the next second I felt his warm, soft lips on my own and although they were slightly chapped that didn't matter at all to me because the second they touched my own my mind turned to mush.
I never felt anything like this before in my life…
Not with Tatsuya (Yes, i had dated Tatsuya but that is a story for another time.) or Kuroko.
It was like there was a fire erupting from within me. All of the want, love and lust I felt from him circulated through my veins till it reached my brain effectively frying it to smithereens.
His lips moved slowly, tender at first testing out the feeling because it was unexplored territory me and him where going in but all of that shyness flew out the window the moment he sucked on my bottom lip softly giving it a nibble causing a groan to leave my mouth.
"Fuck Kagami…" he said before pressing against me even more and attacking my mouth with his. I was pressed flushed against him. His tongue snaked inside mines tasting everything I had to offer.
Aomine didn't ask but took.
He only took and I gladly gave it to him.
My hands were all over him, snaking under his shirt to caress his abs and chest before circling around his waist to grab his ass. My hands kneaded his ass firmly before that wasn't enough…
But it was never enough… I could have all of him and it would never be enough.
I will always want more.
And I could tell he felt the same… we both knew a kiss just wouldn't be sufficed…
I let him dominate the kiss, let him enjoy himself till he ground his hips against mine and a moan escaped his lips, the sound vibrating through our connected mouths.
I broke the kiss and cursed as I switched our places- with him now pressed up against the wall. I practically clashed our mouths together and forced my way in his mouth wanting to taste everything he had to offer.
His unrestrained moans and groans serving as fuel to the desire I felt burning in me at uncontrollable levels.
I was pretty sure where this would all lead to but I just needed to know one more thing.
I broke the kiss and kissed my way to his ear, I licked the shell before biting it once. I let my lips caress the skin on his ear as I whispered—
"Tell me Daiki… you ever bottomed before?"
THE END!
lmfao just joking guys. um this was supposed to be a one-shot and just for the love of god it spiraled out of control and 8,980 something words later i realized it has to be cut in half. so i think i'll make it into a two-shot maybe three-shot. next chapter contains all the goods if you know what i'm saying!
oh my god! i can't believe i wrote this but i said i was going to on tumblr and i did! okay well i hope you guys love this one-shot turned two-shot/three-shot lol and just gah, smut smut smut next chapter ;D