*Hey guys! So, this first chapter started out as a little one shot and lately it's been on my mind. I haven't done any writing with fanfiction in a while but I've found myself wanting to finish this. I've got the story all lined out and it looks like it'll be somewhere around 40 chapters? I generally post chapters that are between 1.5-2k words each, sometimes shorter, sometimes longer, just depending on where a good stopping point is. I'm hoping I can update at least once a week and maybe twice a week depending on my schoolwork load. The story is completely developed so share your ideas, let me know what you want and if it doesn't deviate too much, I'll see what I can do! Also note: This first few chapters will be going back and forth between flashbacks to bring you up to speed on what's going on.
Chapter One (Present Day): Graduation
She stood looking out over the crowd and began her speech.
"I will not stand here and tell everyone of how our lives will only get better from here because lets be honest, they won't. Today we take a step into adulthood, but most of us are not taking the first step for we have been walking the path of an adult for quite some time. Some of us have not even made it this far and so I would like to take a moment in my speech to recognize those who are not able to be here graduating today." Hermione said and bowed her head in acknowledgement of her fellow classmates who had died before their graduation day.
"Today we finish our lives at Hogwarts, today we pray our friends, siblings and eventually children will be able to walk the same halls in freedom that we have, today our fight begins. I'm sure no one is shocked to see me standing here today, Head Girl, top of our class but I am shocked to see some of you sitting in front of me as the men and women you have become. Whoever would've thought that Neville Longbottom would finish NEWT level potions without blowing up a cauldron?" Hermione said smiling at the now flushed Neville sitting in the middle of her classmates. "Who would have thought Luna would be the first of us to tie the knot? And who would have thought that Harry Potter would be engaged and running like hell from the auror department who has been trying to recruit him?" Everyone in the crowd started chuckling at the memory of the auror who was sent to recruit Harry who followed him around for almost a week until he finally took the hint that Harry wasn't interested. "We have all done amazing and unpredictable things in our times here at Hogwarts, we have all changed, grown, matured and some of us," Hermione said looking directly at her potions master standing in the back of the crowd behind the parents, "have even fallen in love." Hermione broke her eye contact and gazed across the crowd, acknowledging her classmates, "and so I wish everyone luck in the coming months as the war mounts and hopefully I will see every face sitting here today again for our twenty year reunion. Congrats graduates!" Hermione threw her wand hand into the air and shot off sparks and was mimicked by every graduate in front of her. As she stepped off the podium she saw dark eyes look at her quizzically before he turned his back to her. She stood watching his retreating figuring before she was crushed in a Weasley hug.
"Oh Hermione darling that was wonderful!" Mrs. Weasley cried, dabbing her eyes with her hankerchief.
"Yes Hermione, very mature, very open and honest. You did wonderfully, we're so proud of you." Mr. Weasley said as he gave her a light hug.
"Great speech 'Mione. Everyone ready to head down to the pub?" Ron asked turning and looking at Harry "Oi! Stop that and get over here, you'll have plenty of time after the wedding, it's time to celebrate!" he shouted at a now blushing Harry with a dazed Luna on his arm.
"Yeah, yeah, we're coming." Harry said walking up to them.
"I'll meet you boys down there in a bit, I forgot to return Professor Snapes' book and I don't want to take it home with me on accident!" Hermione said turning to go inside.
"Bugger Hermione, you're always thinking about books! Can't you return it later?"
"Some things are important Ron," Luna said dreamily, "Hermione has can't leave any unfinished business at Hogwarts or she would always wonder 'what if'."
"Blimey, its just a book Luna."
"It's never just a book."
-Break-
Hermione stood in front of the door and stared at it. She'd been standing here for almost ten minutes and still hadn't plucked up the courage to knock on the door. Hermione raised her hand but before her knuckles connected with the wood the door swung wide there he stood looking right at her.
"You mid as well come in Miss Granger, it must be important for you to spend ten minutes in front of my door." Professor Snape said as he looked at her slightly stunned face.
"How-How did you know I was here?" she stammered slightly.
"I certainly haven't survived all these years because of pure luck. Now either come in or stop wasting my time and get back to your friends."
"Yes sir."
"I am no longer your Professor Miss Granger, there is no need to call me sir."
"Then there is no need for you to call me Miss Granger, my name is Hermione after all." She said in a much more confident voice than she actually felt.
"Very well, Hermione." He said testing the name on his lips. "What can I help you with? Shouldn't you be out celebrating with your friends?"
"I didn't want to forget to return your book." She said.
"Ah, I see, although you don't seem to have a book with you." He stated looking at her empty hands as she wrung them together nervously.
"Oh Bugger." She mumbled.
"It seems that was not completely what was on your mind Miss-Hermione. Was there something else you wished to speak with me about?"
"I suppose I should but I felt I…" she trailed off looking for the right words and the confidence to finish her sentence.
"Felt you should what exactly?"
"I felt I should say everything I needed to say before I left these halls. I have told each Professor what I thought of them, how they have changed my life over the course of my time spent here, all of them except for you."
"It was so important you could not simply write a letter but instead needed to delay your celebration?"
"It's not exactly something that you write in a letter. I wanted to…see you face when I told you. It was too personal to simply write in a letter Severus." His first name slipping through her lips like it had so many times in her dreams. He raised an intrigued eyebrow in response to her use of his first name.
"And what, may I ask Hermione," he said stepping closer, "is so personal that you wanted to see my reaction?"
Hermione took a deep breath and tilted her head up to look him in the face.
"Everyone of my Professors has helped shape the person I am, each one has taught me something that I will use for the rest of my life, they have all had some type of impact on my life." She said slowly.
"I see. I hope that I have some effect on each students life." He said simply.
"No. You misunderstand. All of my Professors have had that exact effect on my life, except for you."
"Then I am sorry I have failed you in some way Miss Granger." Severus stated, slightly confused. She had always been so bright and enthusiastic in his class, even with his foul moods and attitudes to the 'Golden Trio', he had always believed she would have a wonderful career as a Potions Mistress. He himself would have offered to apprentice her but he knew himself well enough to know that would not have been a good idea, it was not very often Severus Snape looked at an individual as an equal, especially not a beautiful young woman who had been his student.
"No Professor. You've had an impact on my life, but not the same as all of my other Professors. They taught me the practical things, lessons, lectures, how to swish my wand the right way, focus my power to manipulate an object to what I want it to be but none of them, not a single one taught me something that I can't live without."
"And I have? I always knew you enjoyed potions Hermione but I was unaware you were so passionate about it that you could not live without it."
"It's not the potions I can't imagine living without…Severus." She whispered his name. She took a step towards him, still looking down her nose was almost brushing against his chest, his scent intoxicating her. His breath hitched just slightly where she could notice when she placed her hand against his chest. She took a chance and turned her head to look at him.
"It's you Severus, I don't want to live without you." She finished just before Severus' lips pressed against hers.
His mind raced and the implications of her words, raced through the ceremony where she looked him in the eyes as she spoke of love. He had watched her all this year, the girl who left for the summer with the remnants of the naivety of a teenager and returned a determined woman. But when her eyes locked with his and she spoke of not wanting to live without him Severus allowed himself this one chance to have something he wanted, after all, the closer to the end of the war they got, the closer to death he got. So, he kissed her, with every feeling he had had for her over the year, every time she had sat hunched over books, the light catching the gold flecks in her locks, every time he saw her bite her lips in deep thought.
She moaned into his mouth as he took control of the kiss and overwhelmed her senses. Her back was pressed against the door with Severus pressing himself into her, and oh his kisses were so much more than she'd ever dreamed of. He eased up and lightly kissed her lips, his thumb tracing the line of her jaw and trailing down her neck. Her slightly trembling fingers undid the buttons on his shirt and as she neared the last one Severus placed his hand over hers and pulled back from his delicious assault on her neck.
"Hermione, I don't know where you're hoping for this to go. We can't get attached, and you can't expect any girlish fantasies or even sentimental attachments on my part, it will ruin everything. If this goes any further it will be simply…" he trailed off, at a loss for words for the first time in his life.
Hermione looked up at his, her breathing still slightly unsteady. "I believe you've known me long enough to know I don't have any girlish fantasies and as for attachments I think it may be a little late for that Severus."
"I can't give you anything Hermione." He said pulling back slightly.
"Yes you can, you can give me tonight."