She knows it's not like they're officially dating or anything.
Sure, Brittany had gotten her hopes up with their end of the year conversation after Nationals, but with the Pierce's impending summer trip to Europe and Santana's renewed dedication to becoming Head Cheerio (and, by association, to working her ass off at Sue's Cheerio Boot Camp all summer), Santana found herself losing next to all direct contact with her best friend for nearly a month, and by the time late July rolled around, all the drama of the past semester had seemingly been forgotten, and they were back to being touchy-feely best friends again, minus the actual benefits. It had been doable for a while. Even while out of Glee club, she'd managed to spend time with Brittany through their mutual Cheerios memberships, and she'd supported Brittany in her quest to become class president, while Brittany returned the favor with her audition for West Side Story. And with all the time they spent alone in Brittany's bedroom creating campaign posters, they were practically up to their chins in sexual tension. Santana figured it was only a matter of time before one or both of them cracked and they made the inevitable decision to date in secret. After all, that was what Santana's ideal situation would've been, were she to have her way. And what Santana wants, Santana gets.
Rory throws a wrench in things. Rory, with his Irish-ness and his accent and his leprechaun-like tendencies and his obvious crush on Brittany. Santana corners him on his first day at McKinley with her arms crossed and her eyes narrowed, while he's struggling to get his class materials out of his locker and the hallway is nearly empty. His smile projected in her direction isn't even fully formed when she starts speaking.
"Alright, listen up, Pot O' Gots His Nose in Business It Don't Belong In. I've seen the way you be lookin' at Britts, and unless you want me to go all Lima Heights on your Irish ass, you best keep your eyes at face-level from now on, understand?"
Rory pales immediately and swallows hard, then barely manages a nod and a squeaky "okay" before he's scurrying away to whatever class he's been forced to take. Santana watches on victoriously with a proud smirk on her lips, then turns away and leaves in the opposite direction with her head held high.
She's so nipping this Artie 2.0 shit in the bud this time.
"Santana, if you're mean to Rory he won't grant us wishes," Brittany tells her disapprovingly the next time they see each other, which happens to be at Santana's locker just before their last class of the day. Santana blanches and fleetingly thinks oh shit, then forces back the urge to go find Rory and threaten to beat his ass for ratting her out to Brittany. "Plus, he's nice. Why did you scare him?"
"I was just putting him in his place," Santana says carefully, closing her locker and turning to look at Brittany, who's leaning against the set of lockers beside hers with a pout on her face and the side of her head pressed against the locker two down from Santana's. It's kind of adorable.
"Like… his home? Does he have a lamp like genies?" Brittany questions, her eyes beginning to get wide.
"No, it's an expression, Britt," Santana sighs out. "I'm just making sure he doesn't cross any lines." Brittany looks confused again and almost opens her mouth, but Santana notices and hastily clarifies, "I don't want him to get the wrong idea about you."
"He said something mean about me?" Brittany interprets with surprise, looking upset again. Santana sighs. She's really going to have to be honest about this.
"Look, for whatever reason… this kid seems to think he has a chance with you. I just clarified the situation to him and let him know you'd never be interested," Santana explains as flippantly as she can manage, but when Brittany just stares and doesn't make an effort to respond, she can't help but nervously add, "I mean… he doesn't have a chance with you… does he?"
Brittany stares again, and stares some more while Santana struggles not to turn red, until finally, her blue eyes light up a little and a smile spreads across her lips. "Aww, you're jealous."
Blush spreads across Santana's cheeks like wildfire. "What? I am not."
"You thought I might like him and you were scaring him away," Brittany continues mildly, smile still on her face. "That's cute." Santana opens and closes her mouth like a fish while Brittany pushes off of the locker and straightens up, crinkling her nose slightly like she thinks Santana's speechlessness is adorable. "Well, I don't like him like that. So you can be nice to him now. I bet he'll give you three wishes too if you are."
With that, she turns away and heads for her next class, her skirt swishing almost happily and an extra spring in her step, while Santana watches her go, eyes wide and cheeks still enflamed.
Santana totally kicks Rory's ass through sing-off when the time comes and puts the final nail in the Rory/Brittany coffin in the process (the poor boy's too terrified to even look Brittany's way any time Santana's around by the time she's through with him), and about a month passes by before Will Schuester makes it extremely obvious that he's finally gotten it on with Ms. Pillsbury by giving them a "first time" Glee assignment: do something special you've never done before, and then sing a song about it. Santana smirks in the back of the choir room when he's done with his little speech, already imagining the trouble he's going to get into for potentially pushing Berry and Hummel into losing their V-cards. It's fricken hilarious.
As far as herself goes, she's not too sure what "first time" she hasn't accomplished yet other than crazy things she'd never do, like base-jumping or eating carbs or something, and sure, having sex with Brittany for the first time post-love confession has crossed her mind, but they're still where they were a month ago, only the flirting and the eye-sexing and the touching and the tension is even more amped up and it's getting harder and harder not to do anything about it. Still, Brittany's unspoken "no dating while you're closeted" rule has remained firmly in place, and so Santana thinks maybe she'll just steal gold from the leprechaun or something so at least she'll get to openly enjoy a Glee assignment for once.
Brittany ruins her plans with a rose and a shy smile the next morning. Santana notices several band-aids on Brittany's fingers as she dubiously accepts the flower. "What's this for?" she asks after looking around the hallway nervously to make sure they don't have any spectators. Brittany notices and her smile dies a little, but she presses on anyway.
"Well… you're been super nice to Rory lately like I asked…" Brittany starts slowly, and Santana struggles to hold back a smile. She's actually just gotten better at sneaking the threatening glares, and Rory's learned to keep his mouth shut. "Aaaaand… you're still super hot and stuff, and you totally would be an awesome First Lady, and Mr. Schue wants us to try something new, and I know Rachel and Kurt have been talking about totally doing it with their boyfriends. And so I started thinking about us…"
"Us, us?" Santana clarifies nervously, glancing down at her flower with vague understanding. She can feel her heart beginning to thrum faster in her chest.
Brittany bites her lip for a moment, then tilts her head to the side and looks Santana right in the eyes. "I wanna go on a date."
Santana instinctively opens her mouth to argue, then stops when she realizes that holy crap Brittany's actually asking her out, then starts again when she realizes they'd have to go out in public, but then Brittany cuts her off.
"We never have before, and I want to go to Breadstix. Everyone will just think we're going as friends anyway, like we used to. Only this time… we won't be."
She stares at Santana with a hope-filled gaze and her bandaged hands clasped together in front of her innocently, and Santana blinks for a few seconds, trying to absorb this. Brittany cracked first, is what this is. Brittany cracked first.
Well, maybe it's a bit of a compromise, but still.
"Okay," she finally agrees, nodding and refusing to look anywhere but at the flower now. If she watches Brittany smile at her she might be tempted to out them both right in the middle of the hallway via a long-awaited make out session. "This weekend?"
"Yeah. Okay," Brittany echoes in front of her with a tone that signals that smile is present and accounted for, and Santana thinks her own smile might split her head open as Brittany moves to pass her and their arms brush and she feels goosebumps rise where the contact was. She spins the flower with her fingertips and takes a whiff when she's sure no one's looking, then decides to skip class to head home and put it in water before it dies.
Two nights later, she's entering Breadstix with Brittany at her side and Brittany's announcing they need a table for two. Santana blanches at the phrase because it's way too date-y, but the woman seating them just smiles and leads them to an empty booth. Brittany's fingers brush hers on the way there and Santana yanks her hand away quickly, eyes darting around to make sure nobody's giving them any funny looks. To her surprise, her eyes settle on Finn and Rachel, sitting just a few places over and oblivious to their arrival. Santana swallows hard as she settles across from Brittany in a booth. "Britt, Finn and Rachel are here," she hisses as their menus are placed in front of them on the table. Brittany immediately starts looking around with interest.
"Really? Where?" Santana points them out and Brittany smiles when she spots them, then starts to raise a hand to catch their attention. Santana lurches forward and grabs it before she can get it in the air.
"What are you doing?" she whispers hastily while Brittany's smile dies.
"I was just saying hi."
"What if they see us here and realize we're on a date?" Santana points out.
"Oh. Right." Brittany frowns guiltily. "Sorry."
They sit in silence for a moment while they wait for the waiter to show up, and Santana fidgets in her seat for a good minute or so before she finally slams her eyes shut and forces herself to calm down. "Deep breaths," she whispers to herself on a heavy exhale, and when she opens her eyes, Brittany's watching her sadly.
"It's too much," the taller girl finally mutters with a sigh of defeat, leaning back in her seat and shooting Santana an apologetic look. "I just thought… maybe…"
"No," Santana interrupts hastily, reaching across the table and grabbing Brittany's hand before she can think about it. "I'm fine, Britt. Really. I'm okay."
Brittany chews on her lip for a moment, unconvinced, and Santana forces a smile and squeezes her hand nervously, before finally letting go and settling back in her seat. She keeps her eyes trained on Brittany, afraid to see if anyone's looking at them now, and the waiter cuts in just a few seconds later to ask them what they'd like to eat.
After dinner, they go for a walk in the park nearby, and the tense, heavy-handed feeling that's been in Santana's chest all night immediately lifts. It's deserted here. The streets around them are empty and the darkness only adds to the feeling of isolation. There's no one around to watch them or judge them.
Sighing happily, Santana reaches over and takes Brittany's hand with hers, hiding a grin at finally getting to do something coupley with her best friend again. It feels like it's been forever since they've even hinted at the idea of being together romantically, and now Brittany's letting her hold her hand, is even squeezing back playfully as Santana tightens her own grip. "This is nice," Santana finally says as they find themselves walking through a large expanse of dewy grass near the edge of the park. "So much better than Breadstix."
"I thought you liked Breadstix," Brittany points out, swinging their hands lightly as Santana stops in the middle of the grass and looks down.
"I do." She knows it's probably wet, but after a moment of deliberation, she begins to sit down anyway, tugging lightly on Brittany's hand as she goes. Brittany settles beside her on the ground and Santana looks up at the stars above them. "But I like being alone with you better."
"Because people can't make fun of us if they don't see us?"
"Exactly." She shifts, then lightly rests her head on Brittany's shoulder, like she used to. A moment later, she feels Brittany's head move to rest on top of hers. "We don't need that stuff from everyone else, Britt. People bothering us, or staring at us. When we're alone, we can just be."
"I just don't want to have to keep secrets anymore," Brittany mumbles above her. "I know how awesome you are and if we're a couple those people who think you're mean will see how much you care about me and realize you're awesome too."
"Britt, not everyone sees things the way you do," Santana tells her sadly. "At most I'll go from 'bitch' to 'lesbian bitch'. Not exactly an improvement. And besides, I like being a bitch. I like being intimidating and I like you being the only one to see me when I'm not a bitch. That's part of what makes you special. Just like some losers might say you're dumb but I know how smart you can really be."
She feels Brittany's cheek move on top of her head and knows Brittany's smiling. "I really liked when you called me a genius before," she says quietly, squeezing Santana's hand again. It takes Santana a moment to recall what she's talking about. "I really like any time you call me smart."
"You are smart," Santana tells her honestly, feeling Brittany's smile on the top of her head again. The feeling leaves her as Brittany sits up straight, then, and Santana moves her head closer to Brittany's neck while Brittany looks down at her with twinkling eyes. "You're smart about things that other smart people, like Fabray and Berry and Wheels and the Asians and even me, will never be able to understand. That's one of the things I love so much about you." She tilts her head up, then, and slowly presses a kiss to Brittany's neck, feeling the pulse beating there and the gulp that runs down Brittany's throat just before Santana breaks the contact.
A moment later, she's flat on her back and Brittany's lips are on hers.
And in this moment, she's not worrying about what other people will say or think about her when she does eventually decide to come out. Right now, it's just her and Brittany under the stars. The way she likes it best. The way it should be.