A/N This is a one shot, from an idea that came to me when I was reading Dead Until Dark again. I hope it was worth sharing.
Sam's Tail
She was in the bar. I'd seen her come in to collect her wages. With my heart in my mouth I went through to the office to wait for her. I hoped she'd stay a while, I longed for her company, revelled in her presence. If only I could have told her.
Sookie Stackhouse, my own little angel, has been working for me since I took the bar over. She is blond, blue-eyed and twenty-five, with strong legs and substantial bosom. Just about the prettiest girl I've ever seen, and definitely the sexiest.
But there is more to it than that. Of course I was drawn to her looks, though if she ever caught me staring at her legs, or looking down the top of her shirt when she leaned over she never commented. Sometimes I think she moves to show herself better, or wears stuff that is a little more revealing, just for me. Sookie is the whole package, funny, caring, sensitive. She is the one for me.
It would be fair to say we are close. She is close to the best friend I could have, and I am close to dying inside because it can never be any more than that. When we are alone I swear I can feel the chemistry, and always I have to fight the urge to kiss her, to hold her. But it can never be because she works for me, and there's a line we just can't cross. I know she's not aware of the times I've wanted to stroke her back, or fix her hair, and if she saw the way I drink in every detail of her face when we're talking she has never reacted.
Of course I always assumed that it was mutual, because sometimes I swear I can feel her eyes on me, and when she occasionally touches me my skin tingles. More than once I've thought we would kiss, willed her to give me a sign that it is what she wants. I want to tell her, but if I was wrong then how would I take it back? What if I drove her away from me?
One day, I keep telling myself that I will do it. I will tell her how I feel and see what happens. At least that way I will know. But the opportunity never comes, or when it does I miss it and kick myself after.
Then the vampire came. He is dark and handsome and interesting and seems to be just what she has been waiting for. She has started spending time with him, and I know my opportunity is slipping away.
The night Bill took her to Shreveport she came in to collect her paycheck. She'd dressed up nice for him in a tight white dress with bright red flowers with long green stems. Her tan glowed, and enough of her cleavage was on show to guarantee it got a good look. She had on red enamel earrings, red shoes, and was carrying a little red straw purse. I couldn't help myself, so when she came to get the check, I had to get close to her, to breath her heavenly scent. I haven't mentioned that Sookie is a little different from other people, and in a different way so am I.
When she'd gone I sat behind the desk, head in my hands, and wondered at the fool I'd been. If only I could have told her how I felt about her. Perhaps then she'd be with me, rather than on the arm of some vampire she'd only just met. Long after the bar had closed I sat there in the dark, wondering what might have been. Stupidly I hoped she'd call in, tell me her time with Bill was all a mistake. Maybe she'd even tell me that she knew how I felt about her. Maybe she felt the same way.
Her romance with him didn't seem to blossom at first. Sookie can be very headstrong, and Bill is very old fashioned. I looked for ways to be in her company more often, hoping that she would see what she was missing among the living and turn her back on her dead boyfriend. This time when my chance came I took it. Her vampire was going to speak to the Descendants of the Glorious Dead. I asked if she would come with me, and was delighted when she agreed. When I picked her up that night she had on khaki slacks and a bronze silk blouse with short sleeves. I don't think she was aware that she took my breath away.
After the meeting we went for coffee and key lime pie at the Crawdad Diner. The place was a dive, but the food was good. Sookie wasn't hungry.
"That was interesting," I said cautiously.
"Bill's speech? Yes," she answered, just as cautiously.
"Do you have feelings for him?" Okay so it wasn't the most sensitive approach, but I had to know. She looked a little surprised but still answered.
"Yes," she said.
"Sookie, you have no future with him," I told her.
We wrangled back and forth about why he was or wasn't suitable for her. Eventually I had to just blurt out what was on my mind. I knew it was awkward, and I blushed. Sookie looked stunned.
"I like you Sookie. As a friend, or maybe something else..."
Her expression said "Huh?" like she hadn't seen that coming. Had I got it wrong? I had thought the chemistry I felt was mutual. She was annoyed that I'd waited for Bill to come along before I had said anything. We travelled back to her place in silence. I kept making up my mind what I wanted to say to her, but when it came to it the words just weren't there.
I held the door for her as she climbed out of my pickup. She stumbled getting out and I caught her. My hands gripped her arms to steady her, but then it seemed like that moment had come and I took it. I slid my arms around her and leaned closer to kiss her. For a moment I was in heaven, tasting her mouth, feeling her soft skin against mine. I knew then if I hadn't before that I loved her. At first she responded, and I thought perhaps our time had come. But then she backed off, and the moment was gone.
"I had a good time," she said.
"I did too. Again sometime?"
"We'll see," she said.
Driving alone back to my trailer I knew my chance had gone. But forever I would savour that one lingering kiss, when just for a moment she was mine.
In that moment I had a glimpse of what it would be like, she and me, and when it was gone I felt my heart break.
