Don't trust anyone. Keep running, don't look back, don't stop, run. Fight if you can, but you can't always defend yourself. Come straight home, don't wait after class, ignore anyone trying to gain your attention. People aren't your friends, never try to start a conversation. Its not worth it. It never is. Remember your knife, don't forget it. Walk with your head down. Don't trust anyone.
We all have rules to live by, a general guideline that helps us direct ourselves in the world. Those are my rules. Well... some of them. If I wrote them all out for whoever is out there I would no longer be safe, my way of life would no longer be my own. I can't deal with that. I can't deal with most things. I wasn't brought up to trust people; hell I wasn't even really brought up at all. How can I say that when I never had a childhood?
Why am I talking so much? Why do I have the need to think about this? It's not like anyone has enough time to pay attention to my struggles; not that I would want them to anyway. A lone wolf, that's what my sister says I am, but I can't exactly help it. My class mates avoid me, no wait, its the other way around. My teachers don't try and pull me into discussions, that at least I can be grateful for. The loner always at the back of the room, always seeing but never seen; that's me. Thats how I like it. It's no ones business what I do, they have no need to sneak into my life. I don't want them to see me, I can't let them see me.
The winter chill makes it easier for me to make up excuses, I can hide without seeming suspicious. Kids get cold right? Perfect.
The road was empty, devoid of life of any kind. Even the trees seemed to be less lively than usual. Granted, the snow is weighing them down, but still. A field of soft fluffiness, that honestly wasn't as soft as it looks. It is, however, so bright it may or may not blind you. Not today, no, it's far to cloudy for that, but on the days where the sun shows its annoyingly bright self, well, it's not exactly nice.
Don't get me wrong, I love the sun, but there is something just so appealing about the dullness of the rain. Wait. I said that wrong. The rain is not dull, it's contradictory. Think about it, just for a moment, the rain washes away the filth, it cleanses, yet it creates messes like no ones business. Don't believe me? Mud, puddles of murky water, coldness, all that jazz. Being cold isn't necessarily a mess, but once you catch a cold that's a completely different story. The rain gives us fresh water, keeping us alive, but it also kills. Floods, people can drown you know. The rain is also lonely, we claim to love it, but hide away from it. Maybe that's why I like it so much. We understand each other.
It's not raining though, it's snowing. Same difference, one is just in a different state. I think I just like the moods brought on by the two corresponding droplets. It's always calm, peaceful, and generally relaxing when water falls from the sky. But then again, it also brings danger, or a sense of it. Oh well, thats not new, I can live with my own paranoia.
I can't walk any farther.
No seriously. I'm not being melodramatic or anything, I just got to my house.
The lights are off. Strange, my sister should be home by now. It's what, five thirty? Good thing I wear a watch. Where did I put my key? I swear to god, if I lost it I will... found it. The damn thing was hiding behind my phone. The lock needs to be oiled, it seems a bit sticky. That's pretty normal though, this house is ancient, about sixty-five years old. It's in good shape, a nice gentle yellow colour on the outside, white trim, large windows, honestly it's a perfect house. At least, for my younger sister and I it is. There are two floors, one with the kitchen, living room, and my bedroom, the other floor is where my sister stays. Her room is a bit more spacious than mine, but I figured she would want it that way. Girls tend to take up more space anyway. She's only two years younger than me, but she is still in high school. University isn't exactly fun, but it is a hell of a lot better than other school buildings. Not to mention I get so much more freedom.
Why am I still standing outside? I am spacing out a bit too much lately. The creamy white door opens with no issue, good, only the lock needs fixing. Somethings of though. The only shoes I see are the ones currently on my feet, that means she's not home yet. I'm not gonna lie, that is slightly worrying. Where was my phone again? Front pocket, right, there aren't any messages. A blank screen, fan-fucking-tastic. She knows to let me know what she's doing. My heart is already starting to pound. My anxiety doesn't help me at all, any change can bring it on.
Don't trust anyone. Keep running, don't look back, don't stop, run. Fight if you can, but you can't always defend yourself. Come straight home, don't wait after class, ignore anyone trying to gain your attention. People aren't your friends, never try to start a conversation. Its not worth it. It never is. Remember your knife, don't forget it. Walk with your head down. Don't trust anyone.
My rules, they're her rules too. I drilled them into her, I made sure she understood why we keep these rules. Why is she moving away from them now? Calm down. I need to breath. She probably just stayed behind to finish up homework, or talk to her teachers, she is an over achiever like that. Wait... I think I just insulted myself there. I am like her in many ways, but in others we are completely different. I guess even our relationship is like the rain and snow. Ugh, no more of this poetic bullshit. All I can say is see nows better, I trust her.
Before you even bring it up, yes, I technically broke the only rule repeated, but see here's the thing, humans are dependent creatures, I am human, so is she; we need to rely on someone, so why not someone who has had to deal with the same circumstances. Now that that is cleared up, damn brat is gonna get a scolding when she gets home.