Every man she had ever been with had been different from each other. Brian who was her real first long relationship was driven by alcohol, looks and sex. She didn't love Brain but he made her feel adult because of how long she held on to him. Basically she felt as if she would of settled for Brain if not for him breaking up with her.
Then you have Will. The most perfect man she could of ever asked for. Everyday beating herself up over the fact that she cheated. She loved Will and continues to love him with every breath she takes. He brought her the most security anyone human being in love could ask for. However that's what scared her. The fact that it was all real and coming true. She felt as if she could never be good enough for Will because she was rejected by Brain. She feared the reason Brain broke up with her would break her and Will up whatever that reason might have been.
Now she is with Wade. A man she would never in a million years of saw herself with. They met at a party she was dragged to. He was charming and she was looking for an easy fuck to go with the amount of alcohol she consumed.
It sounded bad in her head but she always found sex to be an easy way to relax. She wouldn't just sleep with anyone but when she met Wade her alcohol levels were high, she hadn't been with anyone in a very long time and Wade was defiantly not objecting.
Her and Wades relationship was very fake as she thinks back on it. Talking a lot about work and Wade. She never let much of herself out to him. When Wade wasn't talking she would just talk about office gossip. He didn't even know she was American until Will had said something. He didn't even know she was with Will in the past.
One night while her and Wade were having sex she couldn't get her mind off of Will. She started imagining that it was him on top of her and not Wade. Wade noticed how much more interest she had in sex with him but didn't question her about it. After the first time imagining Wade as Will she told herself she would never do it again.
But then the next day in the office she couldn't help but look at Will in a sexual way. She imagined his body, his rhythm, and the way he took such great care of her in bed.
That night she couldn't wait to get in bed with Wade and imagine Will. It went on for a couple of weeks. Wade still being a self-centered man didn't even ask way she was having a sudden urge to have more sex.
Whenever Wade and her would sleep together she was would close her eyes and imagine Will. She was get flashback's of the nights her and Will spent together.
Weeks went by like this until one night she was very much into the sex and imagining Will that when she was at her peak she screamed out for Will and not Wade. Wade stopped right on the spot and waited for Mackenzie to open her eyes.
He started to ask her questions. A question like was she cheating, how often does she think of Will in the bedroom and if she really wanted to be with him of Will.
Mackenzie didn't want to lie anymore and told him the truth and continued to gather her stuff. She felt just as bad as she did the day she came clean to Will about Brain and her affair. Even though she felt bad she was relieved because she could focus on getting Will back however that might happen.
She started to on the way back to her place if this is the life she is going to lead? Is she just a cheater with commit issues? She does she think she could ever be happy unless she was with Will? The only thing she was afraid of was not getting Will back and Jelly fish which is perfectly normal.