Shifts In The Tide

by Sky Samuelle

‘ Lately, he can feel himself shifting, preparing to let her in, inside that dark corner of himself where he has few defences and no secret.’Chuck Bass in episode 215: subtly changing, and still falling in the same traps all over again.

Shifts In The Tide

Author: Sky Samuelle

Summary: ' Lately, he can feel himself shifting, preparing to let her in, inside that dark corner of himself where he has few defences and no secret.'Chuck Bass in episode 215: subtly changing, and still falling in the same traps all over again.

Rating: G

Spoilers: Gone with the Will

Status complete

Pairing: Chuck/Blair ALL the way

Words: 337

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And so he's ditching Blair Waldrof. Again. Strangely, it's for reasons completely than last summer.

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

It's when he hears his uncle's words, so reminiscent of his late father's ones, Chuck knows someday he might be ready for her.

Lately, he can feel himself shifting, preparing to let her in, inside that dark corner of himself where he has few defences and no secret.

After all, she has already seen him at his worst. She held him when he shattered completely, so lost to not care about the silent tears wetting his cheeks, and then again when he hated himself and the purposelessness of his existence enough to jump over the edge without a backward glance.

She has taken in his poisoned lies, standing proud and strong like some compassionate goddess.

She said those words. To him.

He will never have more or better reasons for trusting someone.

Except he is not ready for the finality of this step.

He's too destroyed, too drained and although the rage is fading, he's not sure he is quite willing to stop punishing himself.

There was something in Blair's brown, determined eyes when she told him 'I love you' . A fire, a desire to piece him back together instantly so they could skip the drama and jump straight to 'happily even after'. Like those eight letters contained a spell, a secret recipe for instant bliss.

He won't let them to be that.

Not today.

Not when he still remembers so well why he's not worthy, not good.

Not when he is still so scared she might see it and realize she's more enamoured with the concept of saving him than the real him.

So he'll cover himself with coke and anorexic models and then he'll drink enough to silence the storm of unkind thoughts and unrealistic fantasies and too realistic memories.

He'll feel too dirty to think of her.

AN: Unbetaed, so I apologize for any eventual grammatical errors.