Story Note: Jacqueline x Kim, don't like, then give it a try.
A/N: Seriously, this is twice as canon as some of the other popular SE ships out there, so please just give this story a chance, thanks. Oh, and this is lightly inspired by the song Phoenix Hearts by We The Kings.
Disclaimer: I do not own Soul Eater or its characters, nor do I own Phoenix Hearts by WTK.
our phoenix hearts
by. xxBurningxx
She is terrified.
Because she is gripped by a perpetual fear of so many undying things that it poisons her. Each and every worry is a parasite; they worm their way into her head, her body, her heart, relentless and unforgiving little monsters. She cannot ignore them, but she tries to the best of her abilities to at least put them at the bottom of her endless pile of problems.
Kim Diehl is a lot of things, but ready to face her fears is not on that list. She keeps her distance because distance means safety, and safety means not being found out. Her violent tendencies and viscous attitude form as a defense mechanism of sorts, and they work. No one dares to bother her, and she is pleased with her newly gained reputation; the fact that loneliness only tears away at the seams of her soul is something she pretends isn't happening. Until the nightmare disguised as a girl named Jacqueline O'Lantern Dupre manages to infiltrate her life, giving her a sinfully sweet taste of what friendship might be.
She is terrified.
Because so many little things eat away at her, chipping away her resolve piece by painful piece. The moment Jacqueline discovers her dirty little secret she wants to flee. She wants to run until her legs give out, knees trembling and tail tucked between her legs. She wants to scream, or cry, or maybe simply cease existing. Then the unexplainable happens, because instead of disgust and hatred and horror reflected in those impossibly dark eyes, there is only determination with a little sympathy mixed in.
Kim is many things, but trusting is not on that list.
She is terrified.
Because she doesn't trust Jacqueline; everything she's taught herself about keeping herself safe screams to turn away now, escape while she still has a chance. She is swamped with a constant dread of being called out by Shinigami-sama, overcome with a never-ending fright that she will be caught by the witches she abandoned or Shibusen will find and shun her all be because a nightmare named Jacqueline ratted on her.
But she dares to hope. It starts with a bud in her chest, a small and tiny thing that threatens to blossom. Instead of squashing it like she knows she should, she only allows its roots to grow deeper, entangling themselves in her soul and making her heart ache. The flower that blooms makes her believe that maybe, just maybe, this Jacqueline girl isn't so bad.
She is terrified.
No longer of her secret slipping out, but rather at the shock that slaps her in the face as she realizes how easily this girl walked right through her defenses. It doesn't happen all at once, of course, but Jacqueline has torn down Kim's walls brick by brick, and by the time she notices it's too late for her to do anything about it. The scariest part is the fact that Kim is okay with it.
She is so unnervingly okay with it that she doesn't want her to stop there. Suddenly the overwhelming desire to mean something to someone is the only thing tainting her thoughts, slowly ripping her apart from the inside out. She wants Jacqueline to care about her; she wants to be wanted.
So she dares to hope that maybe, just maybe, she's finally found a friend.
Kim is taken aback by her relentless persistence; Jacqueline is an endless pit brimming with a certain fiery stubbornness. It is striking and yet it captivates her too because she's so familiar with all the boys and girls running from her, not standing their ground with steady footing. They never do that, but this one does. She doesn't quite know how to deal with the situation.
Kim is many things; she is a thousand-page novel, but prepared to deal with the nightmare named Jacqueline is not listed in her table of contents.
When she finally accepts Jacqueline's offer of partnership, days after the incident with the injured dog, her hands tremble as they hover over her dorm door. It's three o'clock in the morning because she had not been granted the pleasure of sleep; her mind had been whirling too quickly, too much in too short a time span, and with far too many things. She's come to a conclusion: hope is an evil thing because it's so ridiculously easy to cling to.
She is even more than terrified, and she doesn't even know why as her body freezes before her knuckles can make contact with wood.
She takes a breath. And another. The raps against the door are soft yet screaming loud in the quiet corridors that stretch endlessly in both directions. When she doesn't answer at first, Kim knocks again, and time stands still as her heart flutters when the door creaks open and she is greeted with a sleepy Jacqueline. Her hair is tousled with sleep and she rubs her eyes before she seems to realize whom exactly it is.
"K...Kim?"
That is when it becomes official. In the middle of the night, it is confirmed, and although she tries to ignore it she can't deny that there is a soaring feeling of happiness spreading through her veins. It's a burning sensation that makes a smile flicker on her face when no one is looking.
Time moves, and it does not stop for anything or anyone. It creeps along at a constant speed, never speeding up nor slowing down despite the countless events that rush by. Sometimes they move together at a snail's pace, and sometimes they dance like time is moving so fast it'll pull the rug out from under their feet.
Kim is terrified.
Because this was not supposed to happen; this was not part of the plan. She never meant to let someone get so close but she loves every single minute of it, hidden by secret grins and unspoken words. How does she allow the bond between them to grow stronger? Why, when she knows the dangers and risks? Perhaps it's the way Jacqueline's eyes light up with curiosity when she makes vague references to her magic abilities. Maybe it's the way Jacqueline doesn't regard her as a witch or a monster or a traitor, but rather as a friend.
"So...You could heal this bruise on my arm right now if you wanted to?"
Kim nods, sparing the lantern a lazy glance from across the room. Since pairing up they had been moved to a shared dorm room, and surprisingly she doesn't loathe it as much as she thought she would. Jacqueline's eyes are burning with intrigue, and she doesn't say it but her body language speaks for itself, asking for a demonstration. The witch finds herself sitting next to the other girl, hands positioned over the injury.
Jacqueline's eyes are wide with amazement and awe as she mutters a spell and the nasty skin that is multiple shades of purple slowly becomes healthy. Kim's eyes are not focused on the light injury though; they are trained on the expression crossing Jacqueline's face. Her magic is supposed to scare people, it's supposed to make them scream in terror and run away, so why is this girl only grinning?
Jacqueline is not a nightmare, Kim decides.
No, she just so happens to be a dream come true.
There is blood. A lot of it, pooling at her feet and soaking her shoes, a lake of scarlet burning into her eyes. It's everywhere, on her clothes and hands and she swears she can even taste it in her mouth.
Kim is terrified.
Because it's not her blood that's slowly spilling out of her body. She uses a magic binding spell to contain the Kishin they'd been assigned to take care of; it's just enough to give her some time to tend to her partner before she bleeds out. The fact that someone could have seen her performing the spell doesn't cross her mind even for a moment. Panic is too busy gnawing at her thought process, making her veins run ice cold as she pulls the dark haired girl closer to her.
"Come on, come on," she grits through clenched jaws as she wills every ounce of magic she posses into this one healing spell. The power of it is enough to make her Soul Protect waver, but again she can't find it in herself to really care. The only thing that matters is that the girl beneath her is okay.
That's it.
And that realization thunders through her, sending a ripple of shock down her spine. Jackie is all that matters. Shibusen can find her, the witches can find her, they can all find and hate her. As long as her Jacqueline is fine, she can't care any less what happens to her.
Relief so strong it almost knocks her to the ground sweeps over her soul like a tsunami wave as the large gash on her weapon's stomach begins to close up, and the crimson liquid stops flowing out at such an alarming rate. She isn't stupid though, and adrenaline is still rushing throughout her body as she gathers the limp lantern in her arms, hurrying down the street, almost entirely forgetting about the bound up Kishin.
None of that matters until she knows Jacqueline is safe.
Is she concerned someone will pick up on her unsteady Soul Protect? Is she worried about being caught? Is she scared of the consequences?
Not at all.
"Jackie," she whispers, her name escaping her throat in an airy wisp as their lips part.
Kim is terrified. More than she's even been before.
Because her blood is boiling and her cheeks are ablaze; her mind is a scrambled mess as it tries to grasp what just happened. Jacqueline doesn't look any more worse for wear, her face flushed an even deeper scarlet and her ears tipped with a tinge of pink. Kim can feel the way her partner's wavelength jumps a little, a skittish little flash, and then it's gone. She vaguely wonders if her own soul is shaking that much.
It had been a perfectly normal evening that led up to this moment. She's so accustomed to their daily routine that she knows it like the back of her own hand, and if asked she wouldn't be able to point out what was different about today as opposed to any other. Back up two hours and Kim and Jacqueline are on their way home after a long evening of tedious Combat Training class. Kim's arms and legs ache with each step she takes, shrieking in protest as she pushes them to keep moving forward.
She just wants to grab something to eat, take a long bath, and go back to the dorms and sleep. That's when she spots someone ahead of them and she feels dread and an instant spark of annoyance ignite in her head. She's about to pull Jacqueline into a nearby alley so as to not be seen, but it's too late. "KIM, MY DARLING LOVE!" Ox Ford's loud voice booms as he approaches her, kneeling on his feet and bowing dramatically. Kim can feel her eyebrow twitch as a sudden violent urge rises up within her. She kicks him and her foot makes a satisfying thud as it makes contact with his chest and he goes flying back on the concrete pavement.
She gives him points for still trying, but that's about it.
After that, however, Jackqueline is in a gloomy mood, and Kim can sense it radiating off her wavelength in small bursts. She can tell that her partner and best friend is conflicted about something. That's simply how it is; over time they've become accustomed to reading each other's souls as though it is second-hand nature to do so.
It isn't until hours later that Kim confronts the lantern. Just before they're about to go to bed, she speaks up, and at the sound of her voice the weapon perks up a little, drawing out of her depressed shell if only for a moment. "I don't understand why that guy is still going after you!"
The witch blinks. "Uh," she starts, the smallest smirk gracing her lips, "he's no where close to being as persistent as you are." It's meant to be a lighthearted tease, but her weapon's shoulder only slump down further and a pang of guilt shoots through Kim, making her chest ache in a way she's unfamiliar with.
"That's not funny," Jacqueline mutters, staring at her feet.
They always had a habit of joking about Ox's lame attempts to court her, so this unusually anxious and unsettling aura sets off all of Kim's traps and alarms, wailing in her ears that something is wrong. The worst part is that she doesn't know what to do. She lacks experience when it comes to comforting other humans, so all she does is lamely sit in the edge of her bed, awkward silence wafting in the air. When she finally breaks it, she has no idea how close her words actually hit home.
"Jackie...don't tell me you're having some kind of jealously fit over that blundering idiot."
"I-it's not jealousy!" The lantern barely gets the sentence out in a mash of blubbered syllables, and her cheeks flush with warmly at the suggestion.
The weapon's sudden outburst of defensiveness makes Kim blink in shock for the second time that night. She can see Jacqueline sitting across from her, nibbling on her lower lip in nervousness. Suddenly something comes over the meister because it's so obvious now. As she stands up, she finds a grin playing on her facial features because when she says, "Did you really think you had to worry about that fool?" Jacqueline only seems to stutter more.
And that is how they somehow manage to find themselves where they are now, slightly out of breath and adrenaline coursing through them as their lips brush once again. She isn't even sure whom leaned in first, but she figures it doesn't really matter, because Kim's heart is in her throat. If Jacqueline says something she doesn't hear it because the sound of blood rushing in her ears blocks out everything else.
For all the things she should thinking about, the only thing that really crosses her mind is awe at how right all of this feels.
They've been to hell and back together.
They are far from being as strong as most of the other members of Spartoi, but that doesn't mean they don't make it work, because they do. They are unique; an entirely separate bird's nest from the others. It's just how they like it. They work like a two-piece puzzle, locked together in the most difficult times, at nothing can tear them apart.
Sometimes she finds herself wondering, tangled in the thought-tendrils her mind produces when she's not doing anything in particular, how she let this all happen. Her plan at the beginning had been simple and easy-to-follow. She would run from the witches and hide in Shibusen, lay under the radar, live in peace with the humans. Things never work how they're supposed to though, she supposes she should have known that, even back then. But things worked out, didn't they? Even looking back on it, she can say with full confidence that meeting her weapon is the greatest stroke of serendipity she's ever had. Perhaps, to be dramatic, she could even go as far as saying it had been fate.
She no longer feels the undeniable need to shield herself from the world. While old habits die hard and her attitude's still a little rough around the edges, she coming around when it comes to social interaction. Talking to other humans isn't as bad as she thought, even if they're a bit dull sometimes. As a girl, the art of gossiping in the shower rooms is something she always looks forward to, even if she doesn't necessarily participate in said gossip; eavesdropping is just as good.
With a little shock, she realizes that there are a lot of things she looks forward to in the day; things she would have never imagined having the good graces to enjoy. Eating lunch with Jacqueline in the library, practicing their combat skills, getting fast-food after a particularly difficult extra curricular lesson or mission are all good examples. There's one, however, that stands out among the rest.
It's coming back to the dorm every night with her weapon, where they simply exist together.
Sometimes they sit in complete silence, but the fact that they know the other is just a few feet away is always reassuring. They can feel their wavelengths bump against one another; a subtle intimacy she would never allow with anyone else.
It feels natural.
Somehow, Shibusen has become home to her.
Kim Diehl is many things, but terrified is no longer on that list.
Because she has a stubborn, persistent, absolutely amazing used-to-be nightmare named Jacqueline O'Lantern Dupre by her side.
A/N: So I'd be lying if I said I didn't ship these two. I mean, don't tell me it isn't canon to some extent (despite what she says about it not being love), because Jackie looks at Kim like Gopher does Noah for crying out loud. It's more canon than Kid x Chrona, seriously! Man I am on total Soul Eater withdrawals. I literally read all the untranslated NOT! chapters, just looking at all the pretty pictures, I was so desperate. It's not healthy, I tell you. Oh, check out Phoenix Hearts if you haven't done so already; it's a great song.
Yeah, so, Jackie x Kim. It's a thing. And they totes don't get enough love.
Thank you for reading, even if you don't ship it (although you totally should). Any reviews or favorites are greatly appreciated! I'll do my best at replying to reviews as well.