Warning: The following content is unedited. If you prefer edited content, visit my page on FiMFiction, a Fanfiction site for My Little Pony; Friendship is Magic. This takes place in an alternate timeline I have created, where Stanford agreed to Bill, and joined his "Band of Misfits."

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"Lovely." Bill Cipher, dream demon, yellow triangle, and trickster-extraordinaire mused, looking over the quaint town of Gravity Falls. However, a few things were added to the small town, livening it up- Demons of all shapes, colors, and sizes, bubbles of "Madness", and a precious little thing trapped inside a large pink bubble, chained down, and held like a trophy in front of the town.

"Uh huh." A older man folded his arms skeptically, leaning against the back of the massive throne. "Yes, my town in ruins is quite lovely." Sarcasm dripped through his voice, as he flipped through pages in his book.

Bill chuckled, crossing his legs. "Oh, Stanford. It's BEAUTIFUL! It's a party that never stops! I'm a host that never dies! YOU are a hero to all of my 'friends'." He declared loudly, much to the delight of the other demons. "Though, between you and me," He whispered, suddenly behind Stanford's shoulder. "They're really not friends... More along the lines of eternal-slaves-with-benefits." Back to his original position on the throne, he picked out a small human from the throne, watching it turn from stone back to life.

Dipper cracked his eyes open, and looked up at Bill Cipher.

Bill leaned forward, shrinking down so that they'd see eye-to-eye. "Hello Pinetree, how's it going?"

Dipper frowned, looking around. "A little... Hey, why do you ask?" His eyes narrowed, staring Bill in the eye.

Bill blinked, and with a small puff of smoke, he was a young teenager lounging in front of Dipper. His now golden hair shimmered in the pink lighting, covering one of his eyes. A bright yellow suit covered a white shirt and jeans, and a black tie was tightened around his throat. "Well, Pinetree, I want to make a deal."

Dipper scoffed, looking at the blue flames that covered the gloved hand. "Yeah, that will go well."

Bill sat up, his eye shining. "Even if it means saving your town... and to a greater extent, the world?"

Dipper raised an eyebrow. "Alright, I'm listening."

Bill grinned. "Well, I'm kinda lonely..." He placed his hands on Dipper's shoulders. "What do you think Pinetree?" He tilted Dipper's chin up to face him. "Maybe a little kiss to seal the deal?"

Dipper's eyes widened, realizing what Bill meant. "N-no way, bro! I DON'T swing that way!"

Bill frowned. "Pity." He backed up, putting a finger on his chin, looking out at the town. "Maybe..."

Dipper edged away, closer to the edge, before leaping down.

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Dipper panted, hiding behind a wall. He leaned his head back, groaning tiredly. "Crazy triangle..." He muttered, covering his eyes with his baseball cap.

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Bill burst into the bubble, immediately popping it. "Shooting Star, we gotta talk~!" His voice echoed through the white space.

Mabel appeared in front of him, looking dazed. "Who... Who are you?"

Bill leaned against his cane, his hat tipped forward. "Why, it's me kiddo! And boy, do I have a deal for you!"

Mabel backed up a little bit. "I-I-I don't think that's such a good idea." She whimpered.

Bill leaned back onto a nonexistent wall. "Even though it'll save Gravity Falls? And, I suppose, the world if you so wished."

Mabel lowered herself to the ground, and pulled the sweater over her head. "Can't talk now, I'm in Sweaterville!"

Bill lowered himself down, and slid over to Mabel. "Aww, don't be like that kid! It's a pretty good one."

Mabel peeked over her sweater. "What?"

Bill twirled his cane idly. "How about a smooch, pretty?"

"A... kiss? That's all you want?"

"Kid, I'm a lonely guy. I want a smooch, and some time with some person, girl OR guy. I get that, I'll take everything else back to that-" He shuddered. "2D dimension..."

"So... you did all of this for attention?"

"... No."

Mabel smiled. "Aww, you were!"

"... No I am not..."

"Yes you were!"

"... Fine, I was..."

Mabel opened her arms up. "Come here, Billy. I'll make that deal!"

Bill shook her hand, and the void shattered around them, revealing Gravity Falls, as regular as before.

All I ever wanted was SOMEONE... And now? She's here.

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Disclaimer: I do not claim any rights to Gravity Falls (c). This story was inspired by Oilux, author of "Let's Make a Deal."