"Unclean"

Raditz woke with a quiet start, his eyes shooting open to find the bedroom dark and quiet, save the ceiling fan and Yamcha's light snoring. He carefully shift from beneath the other man, letting himself breathe deeply once out of bed. He walked over to the blinded window, street lights barely seeping in from between each blind.

A deep, searing ache in his chest caused him to clench his fist against it, above his heart. Things he did not want to remember had crept back into his mind through his sleep, reminding him of past sins, of the blood that had stained his hands since he was old enough to fight.

He was not the same man he once was, and yet he had not suddenly become another person, leaving the body of a massacre artist into a completely new one. He was no longer killing innocents but their blood had still been spilled by him what felt now like a lifetime ago. And all of it for a man who wiped out almost his entire race, destroyed his planet, and used him and what few others remained.

Raditz softly walked towards the bathroom, shedding what few clothes he wore along the way. The bathroom door left unlocked, he opened the sliding shower door and brought up the spout on it's highest possible setting (he would just barely fit underneath it, why did humans have to be so short on average?), then turned the water on.

The water was cold, he didn't care, he just needed to feel some kind of clean, but he knew this wouldn't absolve the sins he had collected for himself over the years. The old him might have laughed, thinking he'd gone soft for learning remorse for his actions. But the old him was a weak fool that had no idea he'd been-

Raditz let out a choked sob, he hadn't even realized he'd been crying. He also hadn't realized he'd turned the dial so the water would get warmer—oh, that wasn't him.

"I was wondering why the hell you were taking a shower at 3 in the morning." Yamcha murmured groggily, scratching the back of his head.

"You...I didn't want to wake you. I-it's nothing, just-" Raditz was cut off by a soft kiss to his shoulder.

"It's not nothing. You wouldn't be crying if it was." Yamcha's tone was soft, comforting even. He had shed his own clothing and joined Raditz, closing the shower door behind him. (Yamcha was certainly glad he'd had this bathroom remodeled to have a bigger shower.)

"...it's just...it's...Yamcha. If you knew the things I've done..." the Saiyan's voice cracked a bit, and he looked down at his companion. "If you really knew, you wouldn't want to have anything to do with me."

"...Raditz." Yamcha's hands cupped Raditz's wet face and stroked his cheeks, brushing tears away with his thumbs.

"I've killed people. Lots of people. I am...honestly no better than Freeza."

"That isn't true. You were the product of a tyrant, of a dangerous organization that instilled fear into the hearts of anyone you guys didn't destroy. But you know what?" Yamcha said, leaning up and kissing Raditz's chin softly.

"What?" Raditz responded, leaning his head downward enough so that their foreheads pressed together.

"You stopped. You turned away from that life and you're honestly trying to do good. You can't undo what you did but at least you can do better now. You can be a better person."

"...can I?"

"You already are." Yamcha smiled at him, leaning forward enough to brush their lips together. The kiss was a gentle, languid meeting, but kept brief.

"What if I'm haunted by this for the rest of my life?"

"We'll figure that out together. I'll be there for you."

"What if you can't? What if something tears us apart?"

"I'll fight to make sure that never happens."

"...then I shall, too." Raditz whispered before kissing Yamcha again, deeper this time, while his tail wrapped itself around Yamcha's waist.