"Are you doing it then? Joining the Order?" asked Peter faintly, his eyes boring painfully into James's.

James took a loud breath. "Yes," he said after a moment and the word was heavy as it disrupted the silence. "Yes, we're joining."

Peter had always known they would, of course. How could they not? The three good Marauders, the three noble, brave, kind-hearted men would never stand by and watch people die if they thought they could somehow help it. That was why he admired them so much. That was also what set Peter apart, he who could never be that brave, that selfless. And this was the reason why, even though he'd always known they would join, he had to ask.

"But - why?"

His friend smiled sadly. "Because someone's got to, Pete."

"But why does it have to be you?" He realised he was pleading, and his voice was breaking, so he thought maybe he should be ashamed but it didn't seem to matter. This was James, not just anyone. "Why does it always have to be you?"

"I -" James faltered. "Because - because I can't not fight. If my being involved can save even only one person then I will. I don't have any choice."

"Even if it means you'll die?" Of course, Peter already knew the answer, so he closed his eyes in the fickle hope that it would keep the harsh reality at bay.

"Yes."

"I don't want to die." And there it was finally out in the open, revealing fully the thing that Peter was most ashamed of lacking; courage, backbone, whatever you wanted to call it. It had been blurted out inadvertently in a voice so frail that James almost didn't hear it.

"I know." James murmured. "I know." And because he knew them all so well, because he had always been able to read them all like open books, he added: "You don't have to join Pete, if you don't want to. There are other things that -"

"No." He cut him off, his voice firm. "No. If you all join then - then I will as well."

"Mate -"

"No, Prongs. I mean I know I - I'm not as brave or.. or as talented as the three of you, and I might just slow you down, but I.." He swallowed thickly. "We're the Marauders, aren't we? We stick together through thick and thin. You taught me that. That's... That's who we are. And that's the only thing that I… You're the only ones that… What I mean is, if you're going then I am too."

He looked up at James who was looking at him fondly as he laid a hand down on his shoulder. "You're a good man Pete. Never forget that."

But how could a boy terrified of his own shadow forget something he never knew?