A CODE GEASS STORY - IDENTITY CRISIS

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PART ONE: THE BROODING KNIGHT

The Knights of the Round Headquarters, Britannia.

Sir Suzaku Kururugi sat alone in a conference room, with an elongated wooden table, eight chairs, and a computer security station, comprising of nine boxed TV monitors on one wall. One of the screens showed an unconscious Lelouch, laying on a bed, bound, in a secured room. He had been put there until the Emperor finished brainwashing him with the power of Geass, implanting false memories of family, friends, and erasing any memory that he was a royal prince of Britannia.

Suzaku hated the fact that his once best friend's memory was being erased, his past stolen from him. Everything he once was, gone. Well, mostly. Only the parts of memory about Zero, the Black Knights, and most tragically, as punishment for his transgressions against Britannia, his sister, Nunnally. Whom Lelouch loved and cherished above all else.

Lelouch once remarked something to him that Suzaku had never forgotten. It was when they were kids, just after the invasion of Britannia on Japan. He had said, "History is important. History gives a person a sense of purpose, identity, and a future. I accept my past, and I know where I come from. You should too, Suzaku. Do what you must to succeed. But one day, someday, I promise, by my hands alone, Britannia will fall!"

Lelouch had said these words long before he donned the mask of Zero.

Destiny. Is there such a thing? If you want something bad enough, wish for it everyday, can it come true? Suzaku wondered.

But along the way, as his alter ego, Zero, Lelouch's ideals turned bitter. He lost his initial purpose, wanting to free Japan, and establishing the USJ (the United States of Japan). In the end, all he longed for was revenge. He had manipulated people selfishly and demanded justice for what his father had done to him and his sister in abandoning them, and killing their mother.

Lelouch had acted like some rebellious teenager gone amok, but to a much higher degree with the power of Geass, for which he also possessed, given to him by a mysterious girl, only referred to as C2. But C2 was, at the moment, no where to be found. She, like most of Lelouch's cohorts, had gone into hiding.

This enigmatic, supernatural power, provided Lelouch with an apt ability to invoke a misguided sense of justice upon the world, and it allowed him to act like a god.

And for this, he was to be punished. Severely. To lose that power, and so much more.

I also have a tragic past. I killed my father, the Prime Minister of Japan, in an attempt to stop a war. He chose to rise up against Britannia. With him gone, I thought no blood would be spilled. But I was wrong. Killing my father was futile. And Britannia conquered Japan, quickly and ruthlessly, and designated my homeland with an insignificant moniker - Area 11. All Japanese are now call Eleven's.

Suzaku slammed a fist on the table in frustration.

He knew he shouldn't hate Britannia, it had given him hope. He now had status, influence, and power. He was a Knight of the Round - the Knight of Seven, one of the elite. But to get here, he had to betray Lelouch. And he hated himself for it.

"I'll change Britannia from the inside," he had said to Lelouch. It was an attempt to justify his actions, when he presented his friend before the Emperor, after capturing him, like a trophy.

But Lelouch had killed Euphie, senselessly and without mercy, and in his heart, he felt an unwavering hate for his friend. He had loved Euphie. And that's why he had taken Lelouch before the Emperor. He wanted Lelouch to pay for his crime.

Perhaps now, there will finally be peace, Suzaku thought. Damn you, Lelouch! How dare you use Geass on me! You did it to save youself, you son-of-a-bitch! In doing so, you corrupted my convictions. I joined the Britannian military to atone for my sins. I wanted to die for killing my father; that's why I was reckless, always putting myself in harms way. But now that I've entered the lion's den, I. . .

With hardened eyes, Suzaku looked at the monitor with Lelouch. As peaceful as his friend appeared at the moment, behind that innocent façade was a very dangerous person. Or, at least, he used to be.

Suzaku sighed, and leaned back in his chair. The springs had give, and it allowed him to avert his gaze from the monitors upward to the ceiling. There was nothing to see but white plaster, a blank canvas like a painting. He didn't want to think. He had come to the conference room to relax, knowing that it would be empty at this time of day, but when he found the screens active, and Lelouch on one of them, his mind began to swirl with unstable emotions.

I know I should hate you with every fiber of my being, Lelouch, but for some unknown reason, I still consider you a friend, despite your atrocities.

"Feeling nostalgic, Susaku?" a voice came from the doorway. And Suzaku turned to see Gino Weinburg, the Knight of Three. He was tall, young, and handsome, with blonde hair. Gino once remarked, if his life had swayed another way, he'd be a movie actor. Suzaku didn't doubt that.

Lelouch's image was on the screen, so Gino was obviously referring to him with his comment. Gino knew, much like anyone who knew Suzaku, that Lelouch was once a close friend. But somehow, the word nostalgic, didn't describe how Suzaku felt.

He turned back without saying a word, straightening in his chair. And several seconds past in silence.

"Not very talkative today, are you? You disappeared suddenly from the lounge. I wondered where you went." Gino crossed the length of the conference room to him.

"I'd like to be alone now, Gino," Suzaku said gruffly. He didn't feel like company. In fact, he wished the whole world would just go away.

Suzaku gave a sideways glance to Gino after his curt remark. And Gino merely shrugged his shoulders in his usual non-chalet way, smiling softly. But he didn't leave the room. Instead, he sat down next to him.

The chair Gino sat in creaked horribly, and Suzaku grunted, gritted his teeth instinctively from the pain to his ears as the sound echoed the room. He had purposely sat elsewhere because he knew about the chair.

"I must send in a requisition form to fix this chair," Gino said, laughing momentarily.

Suzaku felt annoyed. They were both Knights of the Round, but that didn't mean they had to spend their free time together. Gino was a pureblood Britannian; while Suzaku was Japanese, an Eleven (but also an honorary Britannian). But now that he had a lot more responsibility, free time was scarce. Besides, on occasion, Gino got a little too friendly for comfort, and it made him uncomfortable.

"In a sour mood?" Gino said sardonically, thumbing Lelouch on screen. Suzaku groaned irksome under his breath. He seriously wanted to be alone. Gino smiled. "I have some good news. The Emperor has appointed a guardian to Lelouch when he's sent back to school. And he's in the final stages of rewriting Lelouch's memory completely, to include the perfect candidate, a member of the Special Branch, to replace Nunnally. We shouldn't have any more trouble from Zero or the Black Knights."

Unlike Lelouch's Geass, for which he could only use once on any person, the Emperor's Geass was unlimited, Susaku recalled. The Emperor had decided to send Lelouch back to his old life after erasing portions of his memory. Killing him would have been more humane. But the Emperor, for some unknown reason, couldn't bring himself to kill his youngest son, despite his wrongs.

"That's good," Suzaku said plainly, but still bothered by the gruesome act of Lelouch's memory erasure.

He immediately thought of Euphie, and how she was executed by Zero, Lelouch, after using Geass on her, to massacre innocent Japanese, at the gathering of the Administrative Zone of Japan. If successful, it would've given hope back to the Japanese people. With Euphie as Emissary, Britannia was prepared to designate a piece of land for Eleven's to settle on, and to once again, officially, call themselves Japanese.

If that had happened, I would seriously consider leaving the military and joining them.

"Why, Lelouch, why," Suzaku muttered under his breath. He had no time to interrogate Lelouch before dragging him before the Emperor. Now the reason why Lelouch did what he did to Euphie, what instruction he had given to her using Geass to commit genocide of the Japanese people that day, was lost forever.

"You miss your friend, don't you?" Gino said, with genuine sympathy. "I know how it feels to lose a friend, especially one from childhood. He was killed in action against the rebels, long before the Black Knight's appeared. But what kind of friend are you to Lelouch, handing him over to the Emperor, to have his memory erased, to take away Zero, the savior of the Japanese people, weakening their resolve? You're Japanese, right?"

"Just shut up, Gino. With all due respect, go away. I came in here to be alone."

"You have anger issues, my friend. You need to relax, unwind." Suzaku felt like striking him, but restrained his anger. Gino seemed to pick up on his irritation, however, and stood up to leave. He shrugged his shoulders again, and smiled. "But, you're right. After everything you've been through lately, maybe a little time alone to reflect on events is what you need. Just don't mope around."

"I'm not moping," Suzaku said defensively.

"Okay, brooding."

"I'm not brooding either."

"Your eyes tell me a different story. You can tell a lot about a person's eyes and body language, and even their tone of voice, without that person saying stating the obvious. But I'll leave you in peace." Gino turned towards the door, but then stopped. He turning back around, and smiled. "Oh, I almost forgot. Happy birthday." He handed Suzaku a small, wrapped gift.

Suzaku took it. He had noticed Gino carrying it when he first entered the room, but didn't say anything. He thought it might have been for someone else.

"Also, call it a welcome into the fold gift," Gino added.

"Thank you, I didn't think anyone would care."

"Of course we care. You're one of us now, Suzaku." And Gino smiled.

You're one of us now…Why do those words feel so empty? Suzaku thought.

Then Gino left.

And Suzaku was alone again.

He unwrapped the gift. It was a leather bound book: The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde. He had read it when he was in the Britannian infantry. One of the men in his regiment recommended it. It was a classic story about a man who developed a split-personality disorder. By day he was a mild manor lawyer, but by night, he was a ruthless killer. Only now, the story had an all too familiar, almost ironic, tragic feel to it, especially in comparison to Lelouch and Zero.

He put it down on the table, and then looked back at the monitor with Lelouch. And almost found himself smiling when he remembered a fond memory. It was a time when he and Lelouch were having fun at a cookout at Ashford Academy. He had a photograph of that day in an album he kept. Shirley, a girl at school, took it. It was now, however, part of a collection of memories he could never show to anyone, because along with Lelouch's memory, the Emperor choose to rewrite the memories of all Lelouch's friends; forgetting the Black Knights and even Nunnally. And it had taken a lot of effort to do so. Now the only person left was Lelouch.

And Suzaku knew, the Emperor would get some sick pleasure in stripping Lelouch's history away. It made him sick to his stomach.

Just more heartache to bare, he thought. So much history, gone. And all because of Geass. Maybe Gino's right. I'm too tense. I need to relax. I need to forget.

He forced the memory gone, then stood up and switched off the monitor.

"Good-bye, Lelouch," he said. "I'll remember what you were, not what you became." He didn't expect to ever see his old friend again.

Picking up the book, he then left the room.

But the moment he stepped out the door, Gino waved a hello. He had been waiting in the hall. And he spared to time getting friendly again.

He, brotherly-like, cupped an arm around Suzaku's shoulders - it was almost like he wanted to hold Suzaku in place until he got off his chest what he wanted to say - and said, "Hey pal, you look tense. It's not healthy for a person to keep hate in his heart. You'll die sooner. Meet me in the gymnasium in half an hour, and I'll have a surprise for you."

"Gino, I appreciate you trying to cheer me up, but I just don't feel like - "

"Don't make me order you. I do out rank you, after all."

Gino smiled in his usual manner, and Suzaku felt he couldn't refuse. Gino was the Knight of Three, and that trumped the Knight of Seven.

Suzaku felt annoyed. "Fine, I'll be there," he said, softly sighing.

"Good. See you then."

Gino smiled, retracted his arm, and then walked away.

To be continued…