The characters, obviously, belong to J.K. Rowling and the song lyrics belong to Three Doors Down.
I hope you guys enjoy, and let me know what you think!
peace&love, Kas
Here By Me
He crashed to the ground ignoring his glasses that flew from his face and shattered. Pain immediately flared in his hands as the rocky surface beneath him sliced into the flesh of his palms. He stayed like that, on his hands and knees for a moment, before letting himself collapse sideways until he was seated on the ground. His legs came up and his elbows came to rest on his knees, his hands providing a perfect cradle for his forehead to fall into.
Then the tears came, blinding his already blurry eyes. The salty water flooded his hands, increasing the burn that he barely noticed. His body began to shake as he cried, willing the weight of the world to disappear from his shoulders where it sat perched every day, haunting him. As his body shook violently and the tears continued to pour, he tried to empty his mind of all feeling, all emotion. He had almost succeeded when there she was. Her beautiful face flashed once in his mind before he beat it away, then slowly it grew again becoming clearer and clearer until he would have sworn she was right in front of him. Oh, what he would have given to have her standing in front of him. She, who haunted his thoughts, every day.
It was a while before he had drained himself of every tear and emotion that had built inside of him since he had left. The sky had evolved from dusk to twilight since he had first fallen and he now sat breathing the cooling air deeply. Again, she surfaced in his mind, but this time he was too exhausted to fight it. He thought about her perfect face, her smile that lit up the room, her light, addictive laugh, the way she smirked when she knew she was right. He almost smiled then, but his hands gave a sudden painful throb, reminding him of where he was and why he was there.
He swore suddenly in a loud voice as his forehead hit his hands once more. She still brought out both the best and the worst in him, even so far away, he found himself thinking ruefully. He sighed softly mirroring the gentle wind that tugged at his dirtied robes. She, both his source of hope and the demon who plagued him. He sighed once more.
Her eyelashes fluttered open for just a moment as she took in the view of the setting sun spilling its last rays of sunlight across the garden behind her home. From her position, nestled in the encompassing arms of the old gnarled tree, she saw her home, barely the size of a doll's house, as the shadows and sunlight rippled together for the last time that evening.
As the wind swept through the tree it beckoned her hair to dance with it and alerted her to the lone tear that had slid silently down her face. Her eyes blinked shut for just a moment, but flew open again instantly; for every time they closed these days, that face erupted behind them, those emerald eyes boring into hers, and causing tears to spill unwanted down her cheeks.
She understood now, why he had gone. She supposed she had always understood, but it had still taken some time before she really truly accepted it. Who was she fooling, she still didn't really accept it, but she understood and that, she felt, was all anyone could ask of her. They didn't hear his voice in their dreams, see his face every time their eyes shut, and long for his touch each and every day. They hadn't shared that final indescribable look he had given her just before he had departed, and they didn't hear the promise he had made to come back for her, and they didn't know that that promise echoed constantly in her mind.
Her eyes closed again as another tear slipped down her cheek and she finally surrendered her thoughts to him. He who she had tried to keep from her mind every second of every day; he who, in his absence, plagued her mere existence; he who she loved.
I hope you're doing fine out there without me
'Cause I'm not doing so good without you
The things I thought you'd never know about me
Were the things I guess you always understood
The sun had fallen on two different parts of the world as he sat lost in memories of her, and her tears fell as thoughts of him enveloped her completely. They had lost so much time together, he knew, and he also realized it was all because of him. If he had just known earlier, if he had just allowed himself to think of her in a slightly different way, just once… There was really no use to these thoughts… He had thought them so many times before.
So how could I have been so blind for all these years?
Guess I only see the truth through all this fear,
And living without you…
She could only wish that there was someway to turn back time. As she sat there in the fading light her mind waded backwards through memories that threatened to suck her in and drown her in them until finally one caught her in such a tight hold she couldn't let go.
"We won!" Ron yelled, bounding up to Harry and brandishing the silver Cup at him.
Then she ran towards him, throwing her arms around him and not caring what anyone thought, he took her completely by surprise and he kissed her.
Then they went for a walk… a nice long walk around the lake ending at a favorite oak tree of Harry's. They had sat under the tree for a long time talking, laughing, and enjoying being in the others' arms.
The tears fell more thickly now as she let the memory float away only to be swept up by another.
And everything I had in this world
And all that I'll ever be
It could all fall down around me.
Just as long as I have you,
Right here by me.
He wondered what she was doing at that moment. Whether the Order had finally caved in and given in to her wish of joining the fight, or if she was cooking with her mum, and if he had crossed her mind at all. He knew as soon as he thought that that it was a foolish thought. He knew he had left her as devastated as his leaving had made him. How much longer would he prolong that devastation? How much longer would he torture them both?
iI can't take another day without you
'Cause baby, I could never make it on my own
I've been waiting so long, just to hold you
And be back in your arms where I belong/i
He wished he could have that last day back again. That he could express to her every emotion he was now being ravaged by, that he could just hold onto her once more. But he knew even if he had that day back again, everything would happen the same as it had. He would still just look into her eyes. He would still not say a word. He would still be lost in her for one last moment… one last precious moment, before he left.
Sorry I can't always find the words to say
But everything I've ever known gets swept away
Inside of your love…
What would she give to go back to that last day before he left? The last moment they touched, the last moment they held each others' gaze. And still she knew, nothing would have changed. He still would have silently told her he was letting her go. He still would have painfully pulled away from that last embrace, and he still would have robbed her of that last kiss she had desired so dearly. But now, even as she sat there, she knew, she would give anything to have him back. She would let go of everything she had, every emotion, just to have him back in her arms.
And everything I had in this world
And all that I'll ever be
It could all fall down around me.
Just as long as I have you,
Right here by me.
He had accomplished so much since he had left and yet still he felt as though it was just yesterday that he was with her. He counted the days by moments until he would see her again, and he woke up each morning knowing he was just one day closer to being by her side once more.
As the days grow long I see
That time is standing still for me
When you're not here
Some days life seemed to be in constant fast-forward. She went through the motions mechanically with her thoughts in a completely different place; but most days… Most days time stood still and the world moved around her as her heart ached for him and she remembered. Those days would churn slowly, sluggishly onward in a river of memories that sometimes provided a soothing comfort and sometimes slammed her into a waterfall of emotion pouring down upon her.
Sorry I can't always find the words to say
Everything I've ever known gets swept away
Inside of your love
He had never been one for words. They always seemed to get mixed up in his head and then he said the wrong thing. Of course her mesmerizing eyes didn't really help either seeing as they usually made him lose his train of thought at a mere glance. Without warning his mind plunged into yet another panicked 'if only' session… If only he had found a better way to express himself before he left… if he had only taken the time to explain… if only… But he knew that there was nothing else he could have said to make the situation any better. Indeed it seemed that any word he said to her after the day of Dumbledore's funeral just hurt her more. So he had said nothing and left. He had left her with a silent promise and a last glance that left him longing… that left her longing, for more.
And everything I had in this world
And all that I'll ever be
It could all fall down around me.
Just as long as I have you,
Right here by me.
If only he could be there beside her right then… what would she give to turn the longing into a reality…
If only she could be there beside him right then… what would he give to make the aching of his heart disappear and to feel her in his arms once more.
If only…
And everything I had in this world
And all that I'll ever be
It could all fall down around me.
Just as long as I have you,
Right here by me.