Severus pushed the lock of hair he noticed dangling in front of his face to the back again. His breathing was ragged, and his eyes dodged Igor's gaze.
Severus' conscious was attacking him. I bet Lily's watching this. I bet she's happy she chose Potter all those years ago.
Severus pushed his lips back down upon Igor's. It was the morning now. "I've felt this way since the first war, you know," Igor said. Severus didn't reply back. Severus rested his head upon the pillow below him. The two of their hair mixed together into a pool of black.
Every kiss they shared haunted Severus deeply. He imagined that it was Lily's face instead of Igor's.
He wished that it was Lily's face instead of Igor's.
The only lips pressed against Lily's were the filthy ones of Potter.
Severus pushed the collection of stray thoughts to the back of his mind at the interruption by his lover.
"Why don't you answer me back when I tell you these things, Severus?" Karkaroff pleaded.
But Severus knew why.
"Igor-" Severus began, but he knew he wouldn't allow the sentence to finish. Every night he spent with Igor made him feel young again, as if he regained his youth by spending only a few hours with this man. He's harnessed this type of lust before, this kind of want.
But if Severus were to tell Igor how he really felt, the streak of euphoria he was obtaining would end.
And he couldn't bear to lose that kind of affection; that kind of love.
Not again.
A/N: This was written for the Hogwarts Games: Men's Boxing 100-500.
Optional Prompt: Any Metric song
I kind of played in Youth Without Youth by Metric. In a very distant way, I mean.
This is one of the deepest pieces I've written in quite a while. There's a lot of ambiguity I've put in this one. And there's quite a bit of symbolism here as well. Not that you're interested anyways, so I'll go ahead and stop ranting now. I do hope you enjoyed this!