hey, another songfic with the lovely Maple -god i luv canada so much! He's so cute w Goxh, you guys, when i found this song i was all like "OH. MY. GLOB. ASDFGGHJK I MUST MAKE A STORY OUT OF THIS FUUUUU-" and so i did hope you guys like it! yeah and i used some curse words in there just saying
Song: I'll Never Forget You by Birdy (IT"S MEANT TO BE SINCE GILBERT CALLS MATTIE BIRDIE :U and tht he's always forgotten~!)
Disclaimer: i dont own hetalia or the song, credit goes to there proper owners
_EDIT_ Francis and the Lights are the original people that sang the song I'll Never Forget You (thnks blueisme telling me) and it took a long time until i found the original singer of this song!
Eighty-Six Charlie came over
He asked me for a favor
Asked me a question
Asked me to make an exception
There was a knock at the door as Prussia sat down on his couch. He groaned and glared his red eyes at the cherry wood door. He had finally sat down to take a rest after cleaning his house only to be bothered at the time. He got up grumpily and stalked off towards the door, almost literally yanking it off its hinges.
"What do you- Oh! Birdie, didn't mean to yell at you. Come in!" He stepped aside to let the blond Canadian in. He hesitated but came in either way. His hair was slightly wet; it probably started to rain on his way. He closed the door gently this time and followed him to his living room. He sat himself next to the other man and waited until the other spoke up. He started to get worried as he kept silent. Of course Matthew was the type of guy to be quiet, but something was off about him. He would usually have said something by now.
"Matt-" he was abruptly cut off.
"Gil, do you really love me like you said?" Gilbert was surprised when he was asked. Of course he loved him. He meant every word when he told him. Even though they weren't dating or anything, he wanted to take things slow with him. So they just went on simple dates, a few kisses here and there; but what happened for this to come out. Did he do something wrong?
"Of course I do! What would make you think th-"
"Can I ask you a favor Gil? Can you make an exception for me?" Matthew was now looking at Gilbert's eyes. His purple eyes, they were blank but there was an uneasy feeling to them. His own red eyes looked over his face, maybe to find anything that would indicate why he had such an expression. He nodded his head either way, wanting to know what he was going to say.
"Gilbert", He was using his full name, he was serious. He started to get nervous, "I don't think I'm able to keep going with you. I don't mean I want to end what we have, it's just that…. I need some time to think about some stuff. I need space. A-And I was wondering if you could wait for m-me." He felt like a knife had sliced his heart in half. He felt as if he couldn't breathe. How could he let this happen, he was supposed to make him happy! He was supposed to be there for him when he needed someone to talk to.
"W-What?" He stuttered out, he slightly moved back, but not too far to make the other anxious. He folded his hands over his mouth and looked down. The air was tense and neither wanted to speak. "What do you mean that you need space? If I did something wrong then tell me please. I'll change-!"
"NO!...It's just that- can you just wait for me?" He looked pleadingly at Gilbert. He tried to look away from his amethyst eyes, but he couldn't and muttered a quiet 'alright'. Matthew leaned in and placed a light kiss on his cheek. He lingered there for a second more before muttering a silent 'thank you'. And with that he got up from the couch and left the small apartment.
Eighty-Six Charlie, he came back
Said he'd been thinking it over
Said he's had a change of heart
He thinks he's made a grave mistake
It was a few months before Matthew came back to visit his house. They were still on good terms but, some things changed during the months. They didn't talk over the phone much, they barely went out together. There was even a time when they just didn't contact each other. Well, Gilbert tried but he was not answered back. So when he opened the same cherry wood door, he wasn't surprised when he saw Matthew again.
"Matthew, hey." Things have definitely changed; he just couldn't call him Birdie anymore. He moved aside and let the other come in. They repeated the same sequence but they didn't sit down on the leather couch, they just stood there in the middle of the living room. The couch didn't look comfortable at the moment and neither wanted to make a move towards it. He shifted from one foot to another before Matthew spoke up.
"I'm sorry, but this was a mistake. That favor, it was a mistake." Gilbert's eyes widened in shock. He didn't hear what he just said. He didn't say that everything was a mistake, right? Who was he kidding, himself? He heard right from his mouth, words and all. He just couldn't wrap his mind around on why he came up with this decision. Matthew on the other hand had his head downcast and was looking at his shoes as if it were the most wonderful thing in the world.
"What do you mean that it was a mistake? What made you think that everything we had was a mistake? Look, Mattie, I love you and I know that we can work out whatever it is that's bothering you. I'll make everything better; you can help me make things better." He pulled him into a tight hug but was roughly pushed away by Matthew.
"Look, just forget about me! Don't blame yourself for the mistake I made, for asking you to wait for me. Just forget about me! Don't even try to look for me." He turned and went straight towards the door. Brushing past Gilbert roughly. Gilbert turned sharply, he was getting angry, why didn't he tell him why he leaving. Can't he tell him the reason at least, or even a pitiful explanation why asking him was a mistake!
"Birdie, wait a minute! Don't just runaway!" He grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back. Matthew flinched violently and slapped the arm away from him. Small tears sprang from his eyes as he got his arm out of his grasp. Gilbert stayed silent, Matthew had never responded to him like that. What the hell happened during their small break? How could he let things get so bad, why did he let them get bad. He should have convinced Matthew of staying with him when he first asked to avoid all this. But he couldn't go back, their relationship was already damaged. But it couldn't hurt to try to fix it up.
"Matthew, Birdie, please tell me what happened. Please." He took a few steps closer to him, however Matthew backed away the same amount of steps. He was closer to the door and for some reason; Gilbert knew this would be his last chance to get him back. It nagged him; the feeling became unbearable when he didn't answer back. And when he did, he felt his walls come down like an earthquake.
"I'm s-sorry. I'm sorry, but just forget about me!" He grabbed the door handle and ran out and out of the building. Gilbert ran out after him, he was out run by the other and he found himself near a park. He looked at the direction the blonde had run and just stared. He sat himself down on the wet grass and covered his face with his hands. Everything in his life was just horrible, everything was ruined. Matthew was practically the only thing that made him happy these days.
And only then did Gilbert let himself cry, though hidden by his hands, fat tears rolled down his cheeks.
But I, I'll never forget you
I'll never forget you
You make things so easy
I'll never forget you
It wasn't a few weeks later did he find that he couldn't find Matthew anywhere. I was as if he had disappeared from the world that he turned invisible and vanished from sight. He really made things easy for him. He sighed to himself and walked down the busy sidewalks of New York City. Why he was there, he didn't know himself. But maybe he could ask where Matthew is by his brother, they were close to each other like toast and butter. But he couldn't bet on getting any information out of him.
He waved for a yellow taxi and gave him the address to go to. He sat down and sighed, he looked out thrown the window the whole ride until the taxi stopped at a pent house. He paid the man and straightened his shirt. He started to walk before he was stopped by the taxi driver.
"Hey, buddy! Do ya want your change?" He looked back and shook his head; he had more things to worry about than money at the moment. The car drove away as he knocked on the door. To his surprise the door pushed open without much force and he saw no one on the first floor, he didn't even hear anyone. He back away from the door and looked in the garage connected to the house. He looked through the small window and found that there stood Alfred's car and another familiar one. It was Francis's car.
He went back to the open door and went inside the slightly mess living room. He looked around and decided to call out for Alfred. But before he could he heard muffled voices coming from the second floor. He went into the long hallway and up the black staircase. The farther up he went the clearer the voices become. He stopped near a large door; the sound of voices came from inside it. He was about to knock but choose not to when one of the voices raised in volume.
"What did you say about my brother you bastard!" That was Alfred's voice. He supposes he was talking to Francis. He put his ear to the door and listened in.
"Let go of me you idiot! What, you never thought your little brother would do that. Well, let me tell you again little Alfred. I slept with your little brother! And might I say, he was wond-!" There was a thump and a high pitched cry. Gilbert stayed there shocked, his body was frozen. Matthew, his Matthew, had sex with Francis. He felt his body get hot. Hot with anger, betrayal and sorrow. He suppressed the action of going in there and beating the crap out of Francis and then beating him to bloody pulp. He suppressed the feeling of telling him Matthew would never do that to him. But what could he do, the way Matthew acted the last time they met said it all.
He backed away from the door and stomped down the stairs and slammed the door, not caring if they heard him or not. He walked away from the house and back to the busy streets of New York. And if he had stayed longer and heard what happened next maybe he would feel that way. For it was that after Alfred threw a few punches at Francis did the truth come out from him. He had invited Matthew for drinks and had completely gotten him drunk and went back to his house. (A.N and Francis practically forced himself on poor little Mattie ….so it could be considered almost raep. I didn't want to write it sorry.)
Eighty-Six Charlie, he came back, he came back
Sat down at the table, and for the last time
Said he's finally made up his mind
He wonders if it's not too late
It's not too late because
It's been almost four years since he last saw him. It's been four years that he still thought about him for days and nights on end. It's been four yours since Matthew had visited him and today was the day he did and probably the last. He was surprised that he still didn't move from the apartment, away somewhere in some other state. Maybe he believed that Matthew might come home one day and that things would go back to normal.
So when he grudgingly opened the same cheery wood door and found the one person he wanted to forget but couldn't he wanted to shut the door right in his face. But instead he hissed at him, "What the hell do you want?" Matthew flinched at the rough tone. There was a silence before Gilbert reluctantly made moved aside and let him in, closing the door with a slam. He wanted him to leave, immediately. After all the years that he tried to forget him, he finally comes back. He really wonders why he even bothered. Whatever that was left of them is long gone by now.
"What do you want?" He asked again. This time they didn't go into the living room but stayed near the hallway connecting to the door. Matthew shuffled from one leg to another and took a shaky deep breathe.
"I… I was just in the neighborhood and thought I would – !"
"Cut the crap Matthew. Why are you here?" He hissed at him. He felt the same angry feeling bubble up he felt when he heard Francis at Alfred's house. He tried to keep it in but he couldn't help but glare heatedly at him, trying to transmit the feelings he caused him after he left. The shrunk back but he didn't look away from him.
"…I came back to say sorry and that I hope we can fix-!" Gilbert let out an outburst. Finally letting out all four years right then and there. He felt his eyes go red and his body shake with rage.
"Do you really think that I'll accept that apology? Do you really think that I would accept it after FOUR YEARS!" Matthew was about to speak but Gilbert beat him to it. "NO, I wouldn't. And you say fix things between us. Do you really think I'm that stupid Matthew! Do you really think that I wouldn't have found out what happened between you and Francis? Huh, do you." Gilbert looked away from him for a moment. Matthew's gaze turned to surprise and shock and then to pure horror.
"Y-You knew about that." He looked back sharply at him.
"Yeah, I knew about it. And you know how I found out; Francis told me about it to my face, like it was an accomplishment!" He knew that was a lie, but he couldn't help it; there was so much going on. "But I didn't believe at first, I actually almost beat him up! He told me in fucking detail of EVERYTHING of what happened." He was seething by now, there was too much pent up. "And you know what Mattie, after 2 years of waiting for you, I knew by then you wouldn't come back. I've moved on and found another person who actually loves me!" That last statement was a total lie. He wasn't able to go into a serious relationship after him; they were always short or unbearable because he always thought of him.
Small tears started to build in Matthew's purple eyes; he had no right to cry not one bit, but after those words that were so full of hate, he had a right. He swallowed thickly as he spoke, "G-Gilbert, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry." God, those eyes, they were full of remorse; he so wanted to believe that those feelings were true, but he just couldn't bring himself to. Matthew reached a hand to touch his arm but was slapped away.
"Get out. Get out! I don't want to see your face here anymore! Get out!" He pushed the man out the door and slammed it. He stood leaning on the door, panting heavily.
I'll never forget you
I'll never forget you
You made me so angry
I'll never forget you
He slid down to the floor as he stayed in silence. He waited to hear those sneaker clad feet to move and walk away from his door for good. He just wanted him out and gone and away from him. But when he didn't hear those feet against the carpeted floor he felt his insides turn to mush. He had to leave before his will dropped. He still loves Matthew; he still needs him in his life. But what he did was unforgivable. He might have forgiven him back then, but four years is too much of a wait for an apology.
"Mien Gott." He mumbled to himself, he felt his walls come down like last time. He rested his head against the cool door and listened. He waited until he heard the soft muffled voice of Matthew's.
"You don't know how terrible I feel about what happened. I-I'm really sorry, and I mean it." There was a pause, he could practically hear the tears rolling down Matthew's face, "I really am Gil. And I'm okay i-if hate me or don't even want to l-look at me. I'm also okay that you don't forgive me, I'm f-fine with that."
Gilbert's eyes stung, he clenched his fists together. And what Matthew last said made his heart burst. "So I guess this is goodbye for good. I hope y-you h-have a happy life and all with that person." A choked sob came out from Gilbert, "So I hope your memory of me can be forgotten. Goodbye G-Gil."
He hastily got up from his position on the floor and yanked the door open to find no one outside. The place where Matthew once stood was empty as the hallway. He leaned on the door heavily and covered his face with his hand. He and Matthew were over, for good. He would be able to move on and go one by himself. But there was that feeling off emptiness in him, and he knew that empty part of him was Matthew's fault. He needed to forget about him, he was long gone.
"But Birdie, I'll never be able to forget you."
DID YOU LIKE IT? DID YOU LIKE THE ENDING I DID, HUH! well if you didnt then i dont give- i actually do cuz it was sorta rushed and stuff! i had a whole awesome scene pictured out and stuff but i kinda couldn't put it in words :I but yeah, this story doesn't have a happy ending i wanted to make it sad due to the song and the mood! So i hope you enjoyed it...i might make a squeal to it...i kind found another song that can lead from this :U...i like reviews