(A/N) I know I said I would finish JaHS first, but... I just couldn't wait, okay? I hit a wall and needed to work on something else for a few days... or weeks. … I'm sorry. orz

I... am super excited about this fic. I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I do. ^^

This is post series. Everything in recorded canon did indeed happen, except for Invader Dib... which, in fairness, is pretty nebulous to be considered canon. More of the timeline will be revealed within the fic.

Yes, there are a couple curse words in this. It isn't peppered with profanity, but teenagers are inevitably going to cuss. Like Dib. When you piss him off. So... yeah, if you have issues with it, consider this your warning.

ZADR! Don't like, don't read. Or read and be converted. Reviewers loved, constructive criticism welcome, flames used to roast marshmallows.

Invader Zim and all characters portrayed belong to Jhonen.

Dib's pencil tapped out an incessant pattern on his notebook as he stared with glazed eyes up at the whiteboard, the same posture adopted by many of his classmates. The difference, however, was that Dib's boredom was born of superiority, whereas the others were lost in a sea of their own stupidity. Dib could have taken the final for the biology class cold and still passed with flying colors- Hi Skool took no effort from him whatsoever. There was little in the way of stimulation for the boy at all, in fact; his father was away- and accordingly he was locked out of the lab -and his classes were all as dull as death; he had no friends to speak of and his sister wanted as little to do with him as was humanly possible. He was a very lonely child, though it never would have crossed his mind in so many words.

He had had a friend once, but that had only been an imaginary friend.

The hand that was supporting his head suddenly gave out and his elbow slipped, his face smacking the desk with a loud crash that drew snickers from the class. The teacher paid it no heed, for if her star pupil wanted to sleep through lecture, he was more than welcome to- it wouldn't affect his grades in the slightest. So Dib sighed, ignoring his peers and resettling with his chin on his folded arms.

"Today, class, we have a new student."

They were the first of the teacher's words that Dib made out, and his head shot up. The sentence rang in his ears, so similar to the one he had fabricated- had pretended to hear -back in second grade, back when he'd had his imaginary friend join his class.

But this... isn't imagined...?

He was about Dib's own height and had messy, dark brown hair that flipped up in the front and hung halfway down over his ears. He was dressed in a strange outfit, by all measures- a pink shirt with a lighter pink collar and cuffs rolled to his shoulders, as well as short, tattered black gloves. There was a haughtiness reflected in his purple eyes that made Dib shiver, and he gave the class a toothy grin.

"Greetings," the boy addressed his peers, bowing grandly and mockingly. His violet eyes scanned the room, and Dib felt sparks shimmy up his spine as they landed briefly on him. "My name is Mizredavni Nekri (I'm foreign). Please, refer to me as Miz."

"Tell us a bit about yourself, Miz," the teacher prompted, despite the class' snickering.

"Well, I just transferred here," the boy said, oblivious to the fact that he should have been embarrassed, "obviously. But I felt I should spell it out for such dumb creatures as this collection of humans. Speaking of which, I'm a perfectly normal human, in case you're wondering about such things." As he spoke, he ran one hand through his hair and Dib noticed- as did others -that his roots were dyed a neon green.

"Fascinating," the teacher droned. "Everyone be sure to be welcome Miz." With that and a quick order to the new boy to find a seat, she turned back to the whiteboard and resumed the drawling lesson.

Dib returned to his notebook, too, trying to convince himself that he wasn't caught up in a violent bout of déjà vu. I... imagined it. The new kid in my 2nd grade class... never existed. He was startled from his thoughts, however, by the scrape of a chair, and whipped his head up, shivering as he found a set of intense lavender eyes scarcely a foot from his own.

"Only empty seat," the new boy- Miz -said with a smirk, sitting down calmly. Dib, flustered, looked down.

"Whatever. I don't care where you sit," he muttered, and Miz chuckled.

"I think you do," he said shrewdly, leaning over so that he was halfway off his desk and onto his new neighbor's. "I am Miz. And you are called...?"

"... Dib," the boy replied warily, edging away from the stranger. "Man, you must really be new to the area- everyone knows me, 'cause I'm the son of Professor Membrane." That was why he had assumed Miz had chosen to sit beside him, when there were actually several open seats scattered about the classroom.

"Oh?" Miz asked, grinning slyly. "Well, I didn't know that. You? Son of that so-called scientist?"

"'So-called?!'" Dib demanded, almost bounding from his seat with indignation. But Miz only laughed, waving one hand.

"Yes, 'so-called scientist,'" he said again, chuckling. "I mean... he doesn't even believe in aliens!"

Dib felt a chill race up his spine, all but freezing him to the spot. The new boy continued, though, each of his words feeling like a punch in the gut to his listener. And as he spoke Miz's smile grew impossibly, seeming both delighted and sadistic at once.

"I mean, what man can call himself a scientist if he doesn't believe in the extraterrestrial? Furthermore, ghosts and the such? Who's to say that the paranormal doesn't exist? A scientist doesn't have that right! In fact, it should be the scientists of this filthy planet that are studying such things, preparing Earth's defenses for the coming invasion! Don't you think..." he paused, leaning in closer and raising his eyebrows, "... Dib-stink?"

"Aliens don't exist." The response was automatic- conditioned. It came out unhindered even though the poor boy's mind was whirling and his heart was leaking lifeblood from its seems.

Miz's face fell suddenly, his playfulness dissolving and replaced by a deep confusion. Then he snorted, turning away to hide the reaction. "Well... that explains a few things, human Dib."

"... It certainly does," Dib muttered, looking down. It explains away the happiest time of my life, is what it explains...

The lesson continued with neither boy speaking to the other; Miz stole glances at his next door neighbor quite frequently, but Dib was either oblivious or indifferent, and didn't react. When the bell rang Professor Membrane's son stood first, followed closely by the new boy, who bundled his books into his arms despite the large backpack he sported. Dib raised his eyebrows as he left, but that was typical new-kid behavior.

"Wait up, Dib!"

The teen paused at the shout, turning back to see Miz trotting to catch up with him, panting softly as he did so. It was then that Dib noticed, for the first time, the bandages swathed around the new boy's neck.

"What're those?" he asked scathingly. "Some new emo-boy accessory?"

Miz sniffed, turning his head. "Such a rude little creature you are," he spat, and then matched the subject of his words step for step.

Dib rolled his eyes, deciding with a shrug that losing the new boy would be more trouble than it was worth; they would go to separate classes soon enough anyway. But Miz kept pace with him, all the way to math class... where he was, once again, introduced as a new student, and then took his seat beside Dib.

"You know, the paranormal is a very interesting field of study," Miz said conversationally, as soon as the lesson had started. "I have a feeling the Dib would excel if that is what he chose to go into."

Dib bristled but didn't respond; it would have been far too painful to formulate words. But Miz didn't stop there, leaning halfway onto his companion's desk.

"There's this rumor about a coming alien invasion- that they're already among us. What do you think, Dib-stink? Do you think there are aliens walking among us?"

Dib bolted from his chair, sending it clattering backwards and attracting the whole class' attention. He didn't care about that, though, glaring down at Miz as though they were the only people in the room.

"What the hell, you... jerk?!" he screamed, his hands balling into fists. "Did you show up just to tear open old wounds?! Leave me the hell alone! Get lost!" Without pausing to see Miz's reaction, the boy stormed from the classroom, ignoring his teacher's objection. Slamming the door on the way out, he leaned against the wall and closed his eyes, turning his face toward the ceiling and trying to suppress the childish sobs building in his chest.

... ... ...

It took the rest of the day for Miz to find him again, but find him he did. Dib groaned at the sight of the new boy padding toward him, though evasive action would have been pointless at that point.

"Greetings, Dib-thing!" Miz said cheerfully, slapping him on the back of the head. Dib glared at the new boy as he pulled up next to him, but Miz only grinned wider.

"What did I tell you, Miz?" Dib sighed, turning and walking the other way. "Leave me alone."

"Quite a show the little Dib-stink put on in the classroom," the new boy commented, ignoring the rebuff. "Quite entertaining."

"You think that's entertaining, you jerk?" Rounding, Dib grabbed Miz's shirt, holding him up slightly. But the new boy was nearly the same height as him, and smirked around his hand.

"I've dealt with worse than you, little earth-monkey," he said assuredly. Huffing with annoyance, Dib released his grip and turned away; Miz followed, though, slipping around and planting himself in the other's path.

"The Dib likes my company," he asserted, and his listener snorted.

"What the hell are you smoking?" he snapped, making to push past his new classmate. But Miz slid one of his long fingers under Dib's rainbow-colored bracelet, using it to swing him back around; he twirled it for a moment before letting it snap against the boy's skin.

"It's clear as day that the Dib-stink has certain... preferences," he said teasingly, leaning in close so that his breath tickled Dib's ear.

The boy bristled and, without warning, smacked his classmate across the face, making his head snap violently to one side. But when Miz looked back up, he was smirking delightedly.

"Fuck off, Miz," the boy spat, grabbing his classmate's hair and jerking him upright. "I won't put up with it."

"Ooh, Miz is frightened!" the boy wailed sarcastically, then grinned sadistically. "The Dib-thing cannot resist my charms! What say you, Dib-stink? Miz shall take us for dinner tonight?"

Contrary to what anyone would have thought, that made Dib pause. With his father out of town, he and his sister had been subsisting on whatever canned food they managed to find in the cupboard, and restaurant food sounded awfully good- good enough, perhaps, to brave a night in the company Miz Nekri.

But no, he decided; nothing was worth braving the company of Miz Nekri.

"In your demented dreams, Miz. Go jump off a cliff."

... ... ...

The young boy leaned across the greasy counter, only to draw back in disgust as something mysterious and gummy stuck to his elbow. "Uh... yeah," he told the cashier, "I'll get a waffle burger, extra bacon but hold the pickles, large fries and a large chocolate shake." It was a splurge, considering the limited money that the great and frugal Professor Membrane had left his children to subsist on, but Dib didn't know if he could face another night of canned food. Not that fast food was much of a step up, but it was something.

"I'll have the same," an unexpected voice said from behind him, head popping into view over his shoulder. "And his is on me."

Dib spun- too late, for his impromptu companion switched sides, leaning on the counter behind his classmate's back. When Dib finally located the new boy, he was grinning from ear to ear, lounging back lazily across the counter.

"What the hell, Miz?" Professor Membrane's son demanded. "I can pay for my own food! I can pay for my own food," he added to the worker, who was beginning to look very confused.

"Allow Miz to pay for your foodstuffs, Diblet," the new boy said easily, waving his hand at the employee. "One bill, Miz will pay."

"Go away!" Dib snapped, only to realize how weak that sounded a moment later. "I mean... leave me alone, you jerk!" Then he rounded on the poor fast food worker, snarling, "Don't you dare let him pay for my food! I'll pay for my own damn food!"

Miz laughed loudly, then sighed. "Very well, very well," he said, shaking his head with a wry smile. "The Dib will pay for his own food, in accordance with his wishes."

Huffing with some small amount of victory, Dib turned his back on the new boy and dug in his pocket for his wallet, wincing slightly when he checked the blinking display on the cash register. Damn... spending money I shouldn't and having to deal with Miz Nekri... yeah, stopping here was a great idea... With a trace of confused apprehension, he searched his other pocket; then, his back pockets, and felt the blood drain from his face.

My... wallet...?! I couldn't have... no, not now of all...

"Problems, Diblet?"

"..."

… … …

"I'm paying you back, you jerk!" Dib was insisting loudly as he followed Miz across the restaurant, if only for the fact that the other boy was carrying the tray containing his food. "I don't care what you say, I'm cramming the money for that food down your throat whenever I find my wallet!"

"Psh, you should not turn your nose up at such things," the new boy replied, selecting a booth and slipping into it. "Miz has paid for your meal, and you should express your profound gratitude."

"Profound gratitude my ass!" the other boy hissed, but sat down across from his classmate anyway. He took his burger from the tray and watched as Miz did the same, then as the new boy picked a piece of bacon off and popped it neatly into his mouth. "Hungry?" Dib asked, irritated, as he spread his napkin over his lap.

Miz shrugged, repeating the action. "I had not realized it, but I did rather miss the disgusting slop that you call food." After a long moment of silence, the new boy ventured, "The Dib-stink has no boyfriend?" Dib shrugged reluctantly, prompting further questioning. "Why not?"

"I'm spoken for," was the gruff reply, and Miz stiffened.

"What what? You have no boyfriend, yet you are spoken for?! What is the meaning if this?" he demanded. When Dib didn't respond he stood, slamming his palms down on the table. "Miz demands answers! You will tell Miz of these things!"

Dib raised one eyebrow, unwilling to let the new boy make such a scene. "I don't have a boyfriend, but I do have certain... attachments." Miz's eyebrows twitched as he sat again, and Dib laughed despite himself. "Don't get so frazzled, Miz- the guy doesn't even exist."

Miz blinked. "Doesn't... exist...?"

"Yeah, he doesn't exist."

"So... you belong to one who does not exist?" the new boy asked hesitantly, leaning farther forward.

Scowling, Dib stood. "I'm gonna go wash my hands." Without waiting for his companion's response, he spun and stalked off toward the restrooms, vanishing inside. Once he hit the sink, however, he bent slightly over the porcelain and groaned, covering his face with both hands.

"Why did I admit that?" he lamented softly, letting one hand slide down to land heavily on the sink. "Am I really that stupid?"

Once he felt as if he could, the young boy made his reluctant way back to the table, finding Miz waiting. As he approached, however, he noticed something odd.

"Hey... why are you still wearing your backpack?"

Miz shrugged. "For one thing, it's a different backpack," he said, and then added, "It is... what you might call a security blanket for Miz, having a backpack on."

Dib grimaced. "That's weird as hell, Miz."

"Not really," the new boy countered. "Many humans have such quirks."

Sighing, the other boy slid back into his seat. "Fine, whatever. Like I care if you wear a backpack everywhere."

"The Dib must have a similar habit as well," Miz pressed curiously, but his companion only scowled.

"No I don't, actually." The trinket in Dib's pocket suddenly burned red hot, but he didn't flinch. Instead he tucked into his meal, desperate for an excuse to end the conversation. Deciding that the food just might be worth Miz's irritating and impossible-to-ignore presence after all, he made short work of the meal, as growing boys will. To his annoyance, Miz kept pace easily and finished at precisely the same moment, running an oddly pointed tongue over his lips.

"Did the Dib enjoy his meal?" the new boy asked, finishing his shake lazily and leaning back.

Dib glared back over the table, wiping his mouth on one sleeve. "Not nearly as much as I would have had there been anyone else in the universe sitting across from me."

"I disagree," Miz said authoritatively, leaning towards his companion obtrusively. "You enjoy Miz's company, you just do not realize it."

"I disagree," Dib ground out between gritted teeth. "You're an obnoxious jerk, arrogant and thick-headed. There is nothing, nothing redeeming about your company!" With that he stood stiffly, stalking toward the door, but yet again Miz followed.

"You walked here, yes? Let Miz offer a ride home."

"Fuck off, Miz."

Professor Membrane's son wasn't quite sure how he ended up in the passenger seat of the small, round car, but he was fairly certain it wasn't by his own volition.

Thankfully the ride was short enough, and Miz did not attempt to start a conversation; neither did Dib, for he spent the majority of his time plastered to the seat, terrified by his classmate's utter disregard for the rules of the road. But they pulled up in front of the Membrane residence in one piece, and the door slid open. Dib couldn't climb out fast enough.

But just as he was headed up the sidewalk, vowing not to spare a single glance backwards, something hit him squarely in the back of the head. Furious, he spun to shout something obscene at the receding car, but pulled up short when he saw what had struck him.

His worn leather wallet lay on the sidewalk at his feet, a cartoonish version of Miz's face scrawled on it's cover with the words, "No need to thank me," scribbled beside it. And as he looked up, strangely less angry than he had been a moment before, he just caught sight of the new boy, hanging perilously out the window of his car to wave, eyes closed and tongue out.

And what Dib ended up shouting was, "Watch the road, you jerk! You're gonna crash, you know, and I won't be at your damned funeral! You jerk..."

(A/N) Please leave a review! They mean the world to me. ^/^ If you do, I'll give you a hint as to the next chapter~