And Now

by JamiW

Companion piece to "Before and After". All BA

A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ERICA!

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Bobby POV

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What is it that you want?

That's what I asked her.

And I only stumbled through the words slightly, despite the fact that I was afraid of what her answer might be.

I mean, I knew that I'd hurt her.

Or, I knew it now.

At the time, I thought I was doing the right thing.

Get my badge back, at any cost.

So I'd followed Ross' orders because my fate was in his hands.

And I guess I thought that maybe…just maybe…the fact that I was back would override the fact that I'd had to lie to her to get there.

Or rather, withhold information. I never actually flat-out lied.

But that was irrelevant.

I hadn't told her about the undercover, which meant that not only was she hurt, but she was also mad as hell.

So mad, in fact, that she'd balked at working our first case together.

"You need both of us on this?" she'd asked Ross as he briefed us on the case.

Ouch.

I'd wanted to ask her, since when do we ever work a case alone?

But I didn't. I knew what she'd been doing by making the interrogative.

She'd gotten her point across that she was much less than thrilled to be working with me.

I had a moment of panic when I wondered if her aversion to me might be permanent.

Had I gone through hell and back only to find out that I'd lost my best friend?

Was she really going to abandon me now?

I tried to force myself to concentrate on the case, but she was being so quiet that, as we drove to St. Ann's Avenue, I finally had to break the ice.

"I tried calling you," I told her. Like, a hundred times.

"Before or after I pulled my gun on you?" she fired back.

Oh, she was most definitely still mad at me.

I couldn't blame her.

What would it have done to her if she'd pulled the trigger that day in Testarossa's office?

I'd had my gun on her, too. I didn't know that she'd be the one working the bust, and it had been a shock to see her through my sights, but I'd at least known to expect the NYPD.

She'd been completely blindsided by my presence there.

I wondered if Ross had assigned her on purpose, maybe knowing it would be the final straw for her.

Was he anticipating her change of partner request?

If that's what it was going to come down to, I wasn't going to make her do it.

"Do you want me to request a new partner?" I asked her. "Or request a transfer? I'll do it. Whatever you want."

"Whatever I want? It's too late for what I want."

I was relieved by the fact that she didn't jump on my offer, and yet she was still embittered and distant. My attempt to bridge the distance by calling her Alex was squashed immediately.

We're not friends, she'd said unequivocally.

I had a stabbing pain in my chest from her words and it was only eased by her concession that I was her partner. She didn't want me to transfer.

So we continued to work the case, but I couldn't get her words out of my head.

We're not friends.

Since when? Just because I'd screwed up?

Or had we never really been anything more than partners?

"We need to talk," she told me after I shamelessly deferred to her for the umpteenth time on this case.

I knew that I was doing it, but I couldn't seem to stop myself.

I just wanted her to not be mad any more, and I was also still a little stuck on that I just carry your water thing that she'd said to me the other day.

Did she really think that?

Or did she just think that I thought that?

Whichever the case, it was flat-out wrong. She was every bit as important in this partnership as me.

More so, even, as far as I was concerned.

So for the time being, I was reluctant to take the lead. But apparently, that was getting on her nerves, too.

"We need to talk," she said stiffly when we were once again alone in the car.

"Change your mind already?" I asked her.

"You have to stop thinking that any second I'm going to pull the plug. I told you that I don't want another partner. And I don't. I waited six months for you to get your ass back to work, and just because I'm not crazy with how you did it, doesn't mean I'm not glad that you're back."

She was glad that I was back.

I honestly didn't think I'd ever hear her say those words, and I couldn't stop myself from questioning them.

"So you're…glad I'm back? You've got a really…um…weird way of…showing it."

"I'm glad you're back," she said again.

I smiled at her admission and then buckled my seatbelt. And then I took the opportunity to clear the air about another misconception.

"We are friends," I told her. "I should've told you. But believe me when I say that at the time, I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought I was protecting you."

I watched her as she leaned her head back and closed her eyes while she thought about my words.

I wanted to take it a step further and tell her how important she is to me, but I was afraid to push it.

For now, her accepting my friendship would be enough.

"I don't need your protection," she said at last. "I need your trust."

"You've always had that. You're the only one I trust. You have to know that."

"I thought I did," she told me, and her voice sounded so sad. She really thought that I didn't trust her?

She thought that was why I didn't tell her?

"Alex…Alex, look at me," I said, running the risk of having her deny me the use of her first name.

But she didn't, and that was good because right now, she wasn't my partner Eames.

She was my friend Alex.

She turned and looked at me and for some reason, I really wanted to touch her, to move her hair back from her face, but I couldn't do it, so instead I put my hand on her arm, and then I explained myself as best as I could.

How much I needed to get my badge back, and how I wanted to protect her from that whole Testarossa thing and how desperately I needed to get back to work.

Actually, at first I said that I needed to get back to her, and then I amended it to say back to work with her.

I wasn't sure if she caught the slip or not, but she didn't comment.

She just kept looking at me as though she was weighing the sincerity of my words.

Or maybe she was wishing I would just stop talking so that we could get things back to the status quo, I don't know, so I finally had to ask.

"Are we…okay? Because I really need for us to be okay."

"We're okay."

Things improved slightly after that, but we were still off.

I felt like I was walking a tightrope and one misstep in either direction was going to send me into a downward spiral.

By the time we stopped at a hotel in Maine after interviewing Avery's brother, I'd come to the conclusion that I was going to have to push her a little more.

I had to find out what it was that was going to make her happy, because even though we'd been going through the motions, I could still tell that something was on her mind.

So we checked in and I left her alone while I went into my room to gather my nerve.

What if I ask, and she says that she was wrong, and she can't work with me any more?

That was my greatest fear at the moment, but if she wanted out, I had to let her go.

And if she didn't want to leave, then I had to figure out a way to get us back in sync. I didn't want us walking on eggshells around each other.

So I knocked on her door.

I don't know what I was expecting, but her standing there in gym shorts and a t-shirt wasn't it. I usually try to be a little less obvious when I'm checking her out, but I'm pretty sure she noticed this time, since my eyes were moving in slow motion as they tracked over her from head to toe.

I finally tore my eyes away and walked into her room, stopping near the dresser but keeping my back to her. I couldn't let myself get distracted by her brief apparel or her bare feet.

If I started letting my mind wander down that path, then I might chicken out of talking about anything serious.

And we really needed to have this conversation.

"What are you thinking?" I asked her at last.

"About the case?"

"No," I said, and then I turned around to look at her. I couldn't help myself. I had to. I needed to look her in the eyes while we talked about something so important. "No, I mean about us. I'm having trouble reading you and I don't know what to do."

"We'll get back in sync. It's just been awhile. We need to find our rhythm."

I think that maybe she was telling me to leave it alone, but I couldn't.

If we were damaged, I needed to know.

I could fix it.

I would fix it so that we could get back to how we were.

"No, it's something else. Something is different," I insisted. When she remained silent, I swallowed what was left of my pride and said, "Please talk to me. Please. I'm…I'm struggling here. I want things to be like they were…before."

I quit breathing as I waited for her response. I felt like maybe this was a pivotal point in our partnership. In our friendship.

She was going outline what I had to do to make up for what I did.

"What if I don't want things to be like they were before?" she asked in a voice so quiet that I had to strain to hear. She took one step closer to me, which seemed odd considering her words.

She didn't want things to go back the way they were?

What did she mean by that?

My heart started racing as I forced the next words from my lips.

"What…what is it that you…want?"

I was afraid of her answer, but after all we'd been through, I had to know.

Because whatever it was, I'd give it to her.

If she wanted to cut me loose, then…well, I'd have to learn how to live with it.

Live without her.

And I was so fully expecting her to gently admit that our time together had run its course, that her answer completely threw me.

"You."

That's what she said.

Simply.

Clearly.

Resolutely.

As sure as I was that I must have misunderstood, I couldn't have, because there was nothing unsure or ambiguous about her statement.

You meant me.

She wanted me.

"Me," I repeated, because despite the evidence in front of me, I was having a hard time reconciling her words in my brain. "You want me."

"Yes."

She…wanted…me.

After I'd withheld information from her and ignored her for weeks.

I just couldn't fathom why on earth she would want me.

Had she completely lost her mind?

She stood there, only a couple of feet away, waiting for my response.

"I…um…why?" I asked, the words coming unbidden from my lips.

She laughed at my confusion, but I didn't take offense. It was just nice to hear the sound, even if I couldn't join in with her.

Not yet.

I was still too shell-shocked at this sudden turn of events.

"I imagined a wide range of responses, Bobby, but I've got to tell you…why wasn't one that I thought of."

I actually thought it was a pretty good question, but I wasn't going to argue with her.

"I'm sorry," I answered. "I just…I didn't…I never…"

"Breathe," she said, and so I did.

I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply as I forced myself to relax and re-evaluate the situation.

It was slowly sinking in.

She wanted me.

And maybe she hadn't explained why, but that didn't really matter, did it?

I opened my eyes and closed the distance between us, and I was unable to resist reaching out to touch her face. She just seemed so soft and vulnerable, standing there in her shorts and her bare feet, and she'd just completely opened up to me in a way that neither of us had been able to do before.

She wanted me.

I couldn't think the words enough.

I'd wanted so badly to go backwards and here she was trying to go forwards. No wonder we were out of step.

"I don't know what to say. I never thought…I never considered that you would think of me that way."

"Well, I do. I have for awhile now," she answered shakily.

Awhile? How long was that?

"You…never said anything."

"No. But I am now."

"Why now? What changed?"

And maybe that was irrelevant, but I wanted to know.

I continued running my thumb along her cheek, enjoying the feel and even more so, enjoying the fact that I could touch her.

She was letting me.

In fact, she seemed to be enjoying it, too.

"I don't know. I guess I'm tired of hiding it," she admitted. A wave of pride rushed through me that she was this brave. She wasn't afraid to stand up and ask for what she wanted. "I figured I would tell you, you would say thanks but no thanks, and then I could move on."

"Is that what you want to do? Move on?" I asked, suddenly worried that maybe that was it.

Did she realize that having any kind of relationship with me would be a bad idea and so she just wanted to exorcise her inclination?

"No. But it's what I expect to do," she answered.

"Why? Why would you think that? Alex…" I began as I put my other hand on her cheek as well. I couldn't get enough of touching her. "Do you honestly think that I would say no to you?"

"I don't know what to think. We're partners. You just risked your life to get your badge back…"

She thought it was only about the job?

Of course she did, because I'd never told her differently.

"To get back to you," I interrupted, and then I pulled her into a hug, holding her tightly so that I could feel every inch of her up against me. I brought my lips down near her ear and whispered, "I risked everything to get back to you."

She let out a contented sigh, tightening her grip on me as we continued to stand in her hotel room with our arms around each other.

She felt perfect, and I was pretty sure that I wasn't going to ever want to let her go.

Of course, eventually I did.

And I didn't push things to go any further with us that night.

It wasn't that I didn't think about it, because I did.

I wanted to kiss her.

And yeah, okay, I wanted to do a whole lot more than that, too, but I also wanted us to work.

And I recognized the fact that we were still healing, as partners, and we needed to let this additional aspect of our relationship grow at its own rate.

Anything rushed would likely end badly.

And not only did I not want things to end badly, but I also didn't want them to end.

At all.

Ever.

I laid awake in my hotel bed that night, thinking about Alex and about what she means to me.

At no point in my life have I ever considered myself to be a lucky man, but now I did.

So we took things at a snail's pace.

And by snail, I mean an old, decrepit snail who doesn't move around very well.

We had coffee after the Jarrow case.

We watched a movie three nights after that.

Then we worked the Reynolds case, and I think that one scared Alex a little.

Honestly, it scared me, too.

I was too close to finding happiness to have it all end because of a crazy woman with a gun.

After that case, Alex dropped by my apartment unexpectedly.

And when I opened the door to let her in, she kissed me.

No hello.

No hesitant step toward me.

No hint of what was to come.

She just quickly closed the gap between us, grabbed onto my t-shirt, and kissed me.

It was all too brief, but my lips were tingling for awhile after that. She stepped away and looked at me slightly apologetically before saying, "Can I come in?"

As if what she'd done was no big deal.

As if she kissed me every day.

Of course, I'd be fine if she did, but…

"I'm sorry," she added when I continued to stand in silence. "I just…needed to do that."

"Because of Maria Reynolds?" I asked her. That was the woman who'd held a gun on me earlier today.

"Maybe," she admitted.

I didn't push it, but I knew what she was thinking.

What if today had been my day to die.

I would've gone to my grave without either of us knowing that feeling.

We let the subject go, and instead we sat together on my couch and watched TV for a couple of hours.

That night, when she was ready to leave, I walked her to the door and then I kissed her back.

A real kiss this time.

I hugged her to me and ran my hands over her back, going lower than I'd strayed during previous hugs. Arousal zipped through me at an alarming rate as she held my cheeks in her hands and took over the kiss.

I stepped into her so that she walked backwards until she was against the wall, and then I slid my hands into her hair and reclaimed control.

She let out a sound of approval and then moved her hands down to my hips where she grabbed hold and pulled me hard against her.

I felt ready to explode, so I forced myself to pull away.

I took several deep breaths in an effort to get a handle on my desire, and it made me feel good to realize that she was doing the same thing.

"I'm sorry," I said, echoing her sentiment from earlier. "But if you wanted to know what it was like to kiss me, I thought I'd better show you again, because that first time wasn't really my best work. You really caught me by surprise."

She smiled at me, looking oh-so-beautiful, and I felt such a strong sense of need.

Even though I'd broken off the kiss, I hadn't moved away from her. I could still feel her pressed up against me, and she just felt so good…

"And that was? Your best work?" she said, her tone wonderfully teasing and her smile still intact.

"Well, if you want to give me another go at it, I can probably do better."

"If it gets better than that, I might be in trouble."

Her words were a wonderful boost to my ego, and I couldn't resist reaching out to tuck a loose piece of hair back behind her ear as I said confidently, "It definitely gets better."

She wrapped her arms around me again, resting her head against my chest, and then she said, "I don't want to go."

"You don't have to."

"Yes, I do," she replied, and I was glad to hear no small amount of regret in her decline.

"Are you sure?" I asked as she slowly released me from her embrace.

She ran her hand back over my cheek and then kissed me lightly.

"No, but I think so."

I nodded and reluctantly stepped back so that she was no longer trapped between my body and the wall.

"But don't think that means I don't want you," she added, and the words were said in a throaty voice that instantly sent another wave of arousal through me.

I was going to have to take a cold shower, and I wasn't even sure if that would work.

It didn't.

But that was okay.

I had a rather enjoyable solo experience while thinking about Alex and it served to relieve some of my tension.

Our next case was that of Miles Stone.

The combination of my burgeoning relationship with Alex, along with getting to check things out behind the scenes of several famous magicians had put me in a great mood.

I got to show off some of my little magic tricks to Alex, and it made me feel like a kid again, trying to impress my girlfriend. But it was fun and lighthearted and she'd laughed more in recent days than she had in a long time.

I almost felt like I was back on my game, really for the first time since that six-month suspension.

Alex and I were in a groove, too.

And we hadn't gone back to the way things were.

We'd made things even better.

And then we met Dean Holiday.

He was arrogant and showy and I disliked him from the get-go.

"I think I'm getting something here," he said to Alex, striking his mind-reading pose that made me want to be sick. "I think there are some unresolved issues with a man in your life…some trust issues. He's betrayed you, hasn't he? He kept a secret from you…and not for the first time. You poor thing."

I was afraid to even look at Alex as Holiday nailed his guess.

Was it that obvious to outsiders?

Because he didn't have any real skill.

So how could he have known?

I felt the bile rise in my throat as I sat there, not knowing what to say.

"How's my aim?" Holiday continued with a cocky grin. "Pretty close?"

Alex turned her back on him and briefly met my gaze. I could tell that his accurate guess had bothered her more than she wanted to admit, and I finally found my voice.

"Well, good chance guesses…they usually are," I said, regaining my rhythm. "That's the trick of cold-read psychics."

I continued on with my theory, trying to gain the upper hand, but I kept glancing at Alex, wanting to be sure that he hadn't gotten to her. Or not too much, anyway.

She held it together nicely, staying by my side and keeping a smile plastered on her face.

I didn't do quite so well. I let him sucker me into a debate about James Brussels, and when I called him out on the fact that he was simply a con artist, he came clean.

"I admit it. I'm a fraud," he said arrogantly. "How about you?"

This guy had gotten into my head and in the process, I was letting him win.

But that was when Alex stepped in and saved me from having to respond.

"Actually, we were wondering if you were a murderer," she stated.

"Now there you go. That…is a good chance guess," he replied. "But you missed. Want to try another?"

I couldn't get away from him fast enough.

"You let him get to you," Alex said quietly as she drove us back to 1PP.

"How could I not?"

"Bobby, I don't have trust issues. You're going to take the word of a stranger?"

"I should have told you."

"I'm not doing this with you again," she replied sharply. "You said it yourself. A woman being betrayed by a man is a good chance guess. That's it. He doesn't have some great insight into me or how I feel."

"But that is how you felt."

"Felt," she said pointedly. "For awhile, yes, I did. But I'm past it. We're past it, and you're letting him throw us right back there. The real question is why would he care about trying to do that? Was he trying to one-up you? Or was he hoping to create a rift between us so that we weren't looking so closely at him? I mean, you said it yourself. Magic is all about misdirection, right?"

Of course, she was exactly right.

I picked up her hand and held it in mine. I'd held her hand once before, when we watched a movie together, but it certainly wasn't something I'd ever considered doing in the car while we were on a case.

But it was a long drive and she'd just put a quick end to my self-flagellation and I was suddenly feeling good again.

In fact, as I sat in the passenger seat and rubbed my thumb over the back of her hand, I replayed our kiss from a few nights before, and I was really feeling good again.

And then two days later, our investigation took us back to Atlantic City and Dean Holiday.

"Don't let him get to you," Alex warned as we got out of the car. "You know that's what he's going to try to do."

"I know," I agreed.

"So…have fun with it," she said with a challenge.

"Fun?"

"He wants to be so tricky. Let's trick him into a confession."

So that's what we did.

And it was fun, working with Alex like that, toying with Holiday.

Of course, he tried to turn it around, like we knew he would.

"You have some anger, don't you, Detective?" he asked Alex. "Is it the betrayal?"

This time, I wasn't speechless.

This time I jumped in and shifted the focus back onto him.

"Well, what about yours? You know, the betrayal of your art?" I asked him. "We saw your show, and…you know…you're phoning it in. Ten years ago, you would've had the audacity, but now…no chance."

"What about you, Detective?" he asked me venomously. "Lost a step or two over the years, or do you still think you can pull off the big solve when you need to?"

It was another low blow, one that was expertly placed, considering I worried from time to time about just that.

But just as I'd protected Alex from Holiday's earlier taunts, this time she protected me.

"Oh, but he solved this one," she said quickly. "Jacob was the jealous, unsung genius who pulled off the greatest trick of all time, live while the nation was watching."

Her comment gave me the second that I needed to recover, and then together we talked up Jacob until Holiday couldn't stand it any longer.

He had to confess, so that he could have the recognition for pulling off the perfect crime.

Well, almost pulling it off.

If it hadn't been for Alex keeping me on point, he might have gotten away with it.

"I'm glad that some people still know the meaning of respect," Holiday called out as the officers led him away.

He was trying to get in one final jab by insinuating to Alex that I didn't respect her.

That one I wasn't too worried about. She had to know that I respected her.

Right?

I glanced at her, but she was looking away, and then I wondered if maybe she was thinking about that other thing that he'd said. About me.

Did she think that I'd lost a step?

Was I as good as I used to be?

We were both quiet as we went back to the car. We had a two and a half hour drive ahead of us, and it was already ten-thirty at night.

I started to offer to drive, but then I worried about how she might interpret that.

I didn't think a woman could drive at night?

I didn't trust her to get us home safely?

In the end, I got in the passenger seat and kept my mouth shut.

I wasn't sure why I felt like we were so off, but I did.

And maybe it was all in my own head, I don't know.

I stayed quiet as she took Highway 30 out of Atlantic City and then after awhile, she turned north on Highway 9.

It wasn't our usual route, but if she wanted to avoid the heavier traffic roads, then that was her choice.

"So…are you going to talk at all, or should I turn on the radio?" she asked.

"You want to talk?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"I don't know."

"I thought you'd be happy. We caught the killer. Another case in the books."

"I am happy."

"Oh, so this is you happy?" she challenged. "I don't think so. I've seen you happy. This isn't it."

"You've seen me happy?" I asked, although I could feel the weight lifting from me.

For some reason, I even enjoyed bickering with Alex.

And she had a real knack for poking at me.

"I distinctly remember you being very happy the other night."

"Which night?" I question, knowing damn well which night she meant.

The night that she'd come over and kissed me.

I was glad that she was bringing it up, because that meant that maybe our issues were only in my head.

"Do I need to refresh your memory?" she asked, and her simple question, spoken in a low, suggestive tone, caused me to go from unaroused to fully hard in a matter of seconds.

"While you're driving? I don't know. I think I'd rather have your complete attention."

To my astonishment, as I said the words, she pulled to the side of the road into a bus stop.

"Alex, I didn't mean…"

"Stop," she said firmly as she cut off the engine and turned in her seat. "You let him get to you again, didn't you? You've been sitting over there wondering whether or not you've actually lost a step."

"No, I'm…" I began, and then I stopped. I wasn't going to lie to her. "It crossed my mind."

Her gaze softened and she reached out to put her hand on my cheek.

"If anything, you're better than ever," she said firmly. "You've been through a difficult time lately. We've been through it. But it's coming together now, don't you think?"

"Definitely," I agreed as I put my hand on top of hers and leaned into her touch.

"You, admitting your feelings to me just now…that tells me a lot. It's something that you never used to do."

"And you, pulling off the road so that we could talk is something you never used to do," I reminded her.

Then she smiled broadly and leaned even closer to me.

"I didn't pull off the road to talk. We just needed to clear the air first."

"Oh, that's right. I think you said something about refreshing my memory."

"Yes, I did."

"Although, kissing me is something you never used to do, either," I pointed out as the anticipation continued to build between us.

I wanted nothing more than to lunge across the console and have my way with her, but I sat and waited for her to make the next move.

"I wanted to make sure that things were right between us before we got clouded over by lust."

"You think I'm not already clouded over? Alex, I've been lusting after you for a very long time. But I want things to be straight between us, too. Are we good?"

"You tell me. Are you worried that I don't trust you?"

"No. Are you afraid that I'll keep secrets?"

"No."

"So..."

"So we're good," she concluded as she closed the last distance between us. She brought her lips to mine, and her kiss was instantly heated and intense.

I put my arms around her, dragging her halfway across the console. I just couldn't seem to get her close enough, and in the end, she gave up all pretense of keeping things innocent and instead moved all the way over into my seat, straddling my lap.

So we spent the next half hour or so parked in the bus stop while fogging up the windows of our department SUV.

I was only vaguely concerned that the bus would come, or that a cop would knock on our window, but it didn't bother me enough to want to quit.

I mean, we weren't in New York. If we got popped in an A.C. suburb, Ross would never have to know.

We were both breathless when she pulled away. She sat back and ran her hand through her hair and then smiled at me.

"This wasn't exactly how I expected this night to end," she admitted.

"It's not over yet, is it?" I responded hopefully.

My hands were still on her hips because there was no way that I was going to let her get too far away. She felt too good, and considering we were both still fully clothed, the prospect of how much better things could get was foremost in my mind.

"It's…eleven-thirty," she said as she looked at her watch. "And we're still two hours from home."

"I can wait two hours," I said, moving my hand up into her hair. I brought her back down to me so that I could kiss her again, this time slowing things down in an effort to convey my emotions rather than just my need.

Because as much as I wanted her physically, it was nothing compared to how much I just wanted her.

"Just promise me that you'll come home with me," I added.

"No," she answered, and I tried to ignore the disappointment that flooded through me, because of course I respected her and of course I would wait if that's what she wanted to do, but damn…

"I've got a better idea," she continued.

She reached into her coat pocket and pulled out her phone, and after she dialed, she put her finger to her lips.

"Captain," she said into the phone. Irrational fear rolled through me at the realization that she was now on the phone with our boss while she sat on my lap in our steamed-up department vehicle. "It's Eames. We're just outside of Atlantic City, but we had a blow out."

She was going to lie to Ross? I stared at her incredulously as she continued to weave her story.

"That's right. Yes, sir. We're both fine. It doesn't look like the rim's damaged, so Goren thinks that he can put on the spare and then we can get the tire patched up, but it's going to set us back awhile on time. I think we're going to stay here tonight, and we'll be back in the morning."

She listened for another minute or so, and then hung up after assuring him that Holiday was presently on his way to lock-up and we'd take care of the paperwork tomorrow.

She hung up and looked at me triumphantly.

"So…"

"So," I repeated, unable to stop the smile.

"I think we passed a Marriott about a mile back," she stated.

"Are you sure?" I questioned as she moved back into the driver's seat. "I mean, we don't…"

"You know, before all of this, I thought that I was crazy for wanting you," she said, suddenly serious and her words gave me pause.

"You probably are," I agreed.

"No, not like that. I mean, crazy because I thought that you were never going to see me as anything but your partner. Before, we just had the job."

"And now?"

"And now…now I think we can have it all. So maybe we needed that whole undercover mess to help us both see what was important."

And maybe she was right about that.

She drove us to the Marriott where we checked into two rooms

"Two rooms?" I questioned as we got off of the elevator and went down the hall to one of the rooms.

Neither of us had a bag with us, which was unusual, but I didn't think it was going to matter tonight.

I didn't need anything but her.

"With Ross?" she replied, in answer to my question about the number of rooms. "Are you kidding? He's always just looking for a reason. Besides, I'm really looking forward to putting this on our expense report."

I held out my hand for the keycard, so she gave it to me and then leaned against the wall while I moved to unlock the door.

"I mean, don't you just love the irony of having him approve the cost of where we first...break the rules?" she asked.

She said the last couple of words in such a tone that caught my attention, so instead of opening the door, I turned towards her and moved in close, putting my hands on the wall, one on either side of her head.

"I'm pretty sure you broke the rules when you kissed me," I teased. I brought my lips close to hers, but didn't make contact.

"Maybe," she agreed with a smirk. "But tonight, we're really going to break the rules."

Her words, the acknowledgement of what we were about to do, combined with the mischievous look on her face served to make me even more aroused. I'd wanted to tease her a little, but I couldn't hold back, so I closed the distance, kissing her hard as I trapped her up against the wall.

A pleasant hum rolled through me like an electrical current as she slid her hand down my back and over my butt.

I didn't want to stop kissing her, but we were still in the hall, so I forced myself to pull away.

I couldn't open the door fast enough.

The next morning, we made the drive back into the city.

And I couldn't stop smiling.

"You know, Ross is going to be suspicious if you walk into 1PP looking so happy."

"I'll tell him I got lucky."

She raised an eyebrow and looked at me dubiously, and I added, "At the tables. We were in A.C., remember?"

"We were in a little town called Oceanville, and I'm pretty sure they don't have craps tables there," she replied, but she was smiling, too.

I reached over and picked up her hand, sliding my fingers through hers as she came to a stop at a red light.

"This is going to work, isn't it?" I asked her.

She squeezed my fingers and nodded her head.

"I think so."

The light turned green, so she moved her eyes from mine so that she could focus on the road, but I kept watching her.

I was amazed by how exactly right it had felt to be with her.

I was also surprised by the ease with which we'd both made the transition from being partners to this.

Having intimate, carnal knowledge of each other.

I didn't have to wonder any more what she looked like under those jeans, or what her skin felt like beneath my hands.

Now I knew firsthand that she was perfection.

I mean, I'd suspected…but now I knew.

And just thinking those thoughts made me want to have her pull the car over to the side of the road so that I could have her again.

And it's not like I would've actually suggested it in broad daylight, but it was still strangely coincidental that Ross chose that exact moment to call.

I let go of Alex's hand and sat back in my seat as she answered her phone.

"Eames."

I watched her as she listened to our boss and I marveled at how easily she slipped into professional mode.

"Yes, sir. We'll have to take the time to go by our apartments first. Neither of us had a change of clothes with us," she told him.

We must have a new case. We hadn't even finalized the last one yet, but that was fine. I'd rather be out investigating something than in the office doing paperwork.

"Tell them we'll be there in an hour," she said and then she hung up and glanced over at me. "There was a supposed suicide at Manor Hill."

"We're going to investigate a suicide?"

"Ross says the headmaster is suspicious and wants us to check it out. And well…it is Manor Hill."

I nodded thoughtfully, already shifting gears.

"So we'll swing by your place first, and then we'll stop by mine, okay?"

I hummed my agreement as I pondered possibilities.

Several miles later, it hit me that we really could do this.

I'd been mentally undressing Alex and considering all of the things I'd like to do to her – again – when Ross had called about the case, and yet I'd been able to move past my lascivious personal thoughts and focus on the case.

I reached over and settled my hand on Alex's thigh.

"You know, of all the times I thought about what it might be like for us to have a personal relationship, I never considered that it would be this easy."

"You thought I'd be difficult?" she asked in amusement.

"I thought I'd be difficult."

"Well, you are difficult," she teased. Then she stopped at another red light and turned to look at me. "I know what you mean. But we're just getting started. It's supposed to be easy in the beginning. It gets hard later."

"But that's the thing. We've been doing this for a long time. We just weren't…you know. Doing that. So maybe we've already done the hard part."

She leaned across the console and kissed me hard, holding her lips against mine for several long seconds and then she sat back and pulled away from the intersection.

I liked that she was so spontaneously affectionate.

"So you thought about it?"

"About us?" I questioned. She nodded, so I continued. "I wondered a lot…about you. About what it would be like to be with you."

"You fantasized about me?" she asked in surprise. She seemed pleased by the thought, so I leaned in closer to her and kissed along the side of her neck.

"All the time," I told her.

"You did not."

"Okay, not all the time," I conceded. "But a lot. And then when I was on suspension, and I didn't get to see you on a regular basis, it hit me that it was so much more than a sexual obsession."

"Obsession?"

"Desire," I amended. "Before, I thought that maybe it was like a forbidden fruit kind of thing. I knew that I'd never have you, so in turn, I had to have you."

"But that was before," she stated.

"Uh huh. And then I realized that it wasn't just a sexual craving. It was a need. It's part of why I was so desperate to get back to work. I didn't consider that you'd ever want a relationship with me outside of the job, and I couldn't face the possibility of not getting to see you every day."

By this point, we'd reached my apartment building, so she pulled over into a parking space and shut off the engine.

"You never considered that I might feel the same way?" she asked as she turned to look at me.

"No. Not until that night in Maine. Even then, when I went to your room…I thought you were ready to walk away."

She nodded thoughtfully and then settled her eyes onto mine.

"So now that you've…had me…and I'm no longer forbidden…has it changed how you feel?

"Definitely," I responded, reaching out to run my hand over her hair. "It's made me want you even more. It's made me wish that I'd been brave enough to say something, so that maybe we could've started this whole thing sooner. It's made me…"

"I love you," she said suddenly, interrupting my rambling monologue.

I was momentarily speechless at her unexpected outburst.

"But…Alex…"

"If you ask me why, so help me…" she warned, trailing off her warning as a smile spread across my face.

She loved me…now those words were going to be on a permanent loop in my head. And really, what could be better than that?

"I'm not asking," I said quickly. "If you're crazy enough to feel it, then I'm not about to argue. I just…I…"

"Bobby," she interrupted again.

I'd been planning to say it back to her, but maybe it was better this way.

Maybe I'd take her by surprise with it, too.

"Yeah?"

"Go change," she said with a smile. "We've got a crime scene to get to."

THE END