Title: One drop of tear
Author: HeukYa
Genre: Romance/Angst
Rating: T/PG-15
Pairing: Kurosaki Ichigo/Hitsugaya Toshiro
Disclaimer: Bleach sovereigns over me, not the other way round.
Distribution: Fanfiction and LJ
Summary: For you. For me. For us.
Spoilers: None
Warning: Angst
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Author's Note:
…I'm sorry. I don't know what is going on but all my late oneshots end up becoming angst fics and this one is no exception. I actually started this with only half of it in my mind, no specific plot. It started more or less out of whim. I don't think of it particularly good but I decided to post it anyway since the update on OM is delayed. Don't worry about OM, I'm working on it and this did not take long to write.
One drop of tear by HeukYa
The gusty wind whirled around them, flapping their shihakushous wildly. Above them, high up in the sky, thick, depressing, grey clouds had gathered, foretelling the start of a wild storm. The turbulent turmoil of wet air had forced the entire Seireitei to a standstill as the shinigamis stayed cooped inside the safety of sturdy walls. The wooden doors shook heavily in their frames, barely hanging on there within the carved slots, and the sounds of their exerting endeavor mingled with the eerie echoes of the whirlwinds in corners of the corridors.
Yet for him, all was silent. All was numb. All had ceased to exist.
"…What…?"
"Don't make me repeat. It ends here, Kurosaki."
Cold. That was how he felt to the centre of his bones, to the core of his heart, but it had nothing to do with the stormy chill that had wrapped itself around him. The voice that had once been full of emotions albeit veiled was glacial, frozen to its core. It froze the wild winds before they could hit his eardrums, it froze his eyes so that nothing could enter his shattering vision, nothing but the one in front of him.
"…Wh… I… I don't understand."
"Don't tell me you didn't see this coming."
He could not say anything. His throat was narrowing down to naught and his tongue had turned into an immovable block of ice. The stunned hazelnut eyes, confused beyond words, no long recognised the cold, expressionless turquoise ones in front of him as his doubts for the past weeks came crashing down on him like a star that had been shining so brightly until its end came in an self-destructive explosion.
"…Wh…why…?"
The emerald jewels were beautiful even now. In fact, it was even more dazzling than before. With not a hint of any humane streaks in them, they were not eyes of someone but two breathtaking jewels embedded in an angelic statue. The thick eyelashes did not flutter even for a split second and the icy gleams of the jewels pierced through him before with a surreally slow blink, turned to the looming clouds that were about to shed their tears.
"Isn't it obvious? I don't love you, Kurosaki. You have failed to keep me melted. That feeble heat of your moon had fallen short, just as I had said at the beginning."
In a far distance, a rumbling sound of thunder echoed through the ghostly air just as he heard the painful sound of his heart cracking.
"…You are lying, Toshiro."
The jewels -they were far too clear, shimmering and empty to be anything humane- glanced at him with a little turn of the snow-crowned head, a single spec of white in the dreary background.
"Am I?"
The dark, gloomy world shattered around him.
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"…I can't say it's surprising but for him to even fail to notice that the storm was your doing…"
A familiar voice, its sadness unbefitting its usual jovialness, managed to weave in and out of the angry winds and reach his hears but he did not turn around or even twitch a single muscle. A pair of silvery eyes, darkened to grey like dirtied ashes from the sorrow, watched the unmoving back of the pristine haori with a painfully clear insignia on it billowing wildly like a frantic animal caught in a trap before shifting to the cloud-filled sky that had started to finally let its faucet run loose. The strawberry-blonde eyebrows knitted only ever so slightly when she caught the rather harsh pelting sounds on the roof of the corridor they stood under; it was not raining, but hailing.
"Taichou… Did you really have to do this…?"
She noticed the small hands clenching tightly into fists and with a sigh, slowly approached her captain, taking her place on the opposite side of where the orange-haired teen had previously stood rooted with incomprehensible numbness. Even if he was not here, the area held a presence that should not be intruded, its importance set by the stoic captain who did not even blink at the fierce winds hitting his face.
"…Yes."
She almost missed the tiny sound, trembling contrary to the deadpan face, in the noisy commotion of their surroundings.
"But…"
"Matsumoto."
It clawed her heart, her young, small captain's voice. It was broken, weak, shattered, lost, but hopeful in such a dreadful way that she wished never to understand. Yet the features did not betray a single humanity. The teal orbs remained lifeless.
"Take good care of our division if I do not come back from the mission tomorrow."
"Taichou, you know why then are sending you, you know that…"
"Ah. I, along with Kuchiki taichou and Zaraki, am potentially the ones that are most likely to come out of this alive. But that is only potentially and most likely does not mean we will. You know as well as I do how much desperate but suicidal this is."
"…Taichou, Ichigo is going to find out about the mission sooner or later, one way… or another."
The emerald jewels lowered their gaze only ever so slightly and the silvery eyes widened when they caught a subtle curl at the end of the captain's lips. It was the first time she had seen anything resembling a true emotion on the small face since the mission went through the captaincy meetings a month ago.
"He will. But with this, he will not be burdened."
"...Taichou..."
"It's my fault… I should have done this sooner. That was what I had planned but… I wanted to see him just that one day more."
She kept her silence, gazing out into the roaring, crying sky. If… If things really did happen, she would become the last one to have heard the cryptic, unreadable prodigy's real feelings, regrets, hopes and dreams.
"He kept coming back with the same smile everyday even when I pretended to have turned irritated and disgusted with his existence itself. Even with the wounds that I had intentionally made… He came back without a fail."
Another flash blinded their eyes, followed by the crashing thunder but neither of them even flinched.
"He's too nice, that moron. He still bears the weight of his mother's death. And without a doubt, he will bear mine if I do not force him not to. I will not be able to see it but I still hope he will not suffer. He suffers now but the pain from this will be soon gone unlike the one that would rise otherwise. This is for me as much as it is for him."
A small hand managed to relieve itself from the crunching pressure from the curled fingers and stretched out into the glacial air, greeting the small, menacing pellets of the sorrowful heaven's tears and she wiped her wildly flaring hair out of her eyes just in time to catch the one drop of glistening tear sliding down the pale cheek from the jewels that still remained void of any sparkles like glassy orbs of a doll.
"For us."