I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS FROM TWILIGHT. STEPHANIE MEYERS DOES SO THANK HER FOR THIS WONDERFUL WORLD OF VAMPIRES AND WEREWOLVES!
HISTORIES (1)
Renesmee Carlie Cullen, that's me. Any normal child who wanted to learn about her family would ask her parents or grandparents about their heritage. I have to ask mine about their histories. Most of my family has existed for over a century. I have the most amazing and unique family that has ever been; eight vampires, one shape shifter who takes the shape of a wolf and me, half human and half vampire. So far my life has raced by taking me from infancy to near adulthood in just over six years. Recently I've been wondering about my families personal histories, not their time of creation or the things they've seen over the years but about their love stories. My grandfather Carlisle has lived over 300 years and he created four of my family members. He created my grandmother, Esme, and they have been lovers ever since. But she was not Carlisle's first creation. My dad Edward was the first and he created my mom Bella just over six years ago when I was born. My dad and mom are both very special, he's a mind reader and she's a shield. I guess I'm a projector of sorts. Dad hears people's thoughts (except moms), mom protects minds (especially her own) and I show people my memories with a single touch. Since there is no one else like me with my gift it's hard to say exactly what I am. My aunt Rosalie was third, grandpa created her with the hopes of finding a mate for Edward but that wasn't meant to be. I guess I should explain that my grandfather doesn't just go around creating vampires. He's a doctor, a lover and respecter of life, he's only ever created vampires when that was the only was to save them. My aunt Rosalie chose Emmett when she saw him being mauled by a bear and fell in love with him. He was on the verge of death but she managed to get him home to grandpa in time and they've been lovers ever since. My aunt Alice and uncle Jasper found each other in their search for a better life then the one they knew, they had other creators. Then they found the Cullens and fit themselves perfectly into the family. Alice can see the future so she knew where to wait for Jasper, what he was looking for and how to find it. Jasper had a hard beginning in comparison to the rest of the family but him and Alice are perfect for each other. He can control people's emotions which is really nice sometimes. That is my vampire family. Then there is Jacob, the shape shifter, he turns into a wolf to protect people from vampires. Jacob is part of the Quileute tribe. They have a long history of magic, allowing the young men to change into wolves when vampires are a danger to their people. Now he lives with a house full of vampires, but we're 'vegetarians' so it's ok. I sometimes think he is only here because of me but I don't know for sure. No matter the reason he's my best friend and I've never known life without him.
Tell me about your life before I was born, Dad? I thought as we walked through the forest.
"Where to start? How far back do you want me to go?"
The beginning. He looked down into my eyes and smiled. I loved looking at my Dads smile because I could see how much he loved me, I smiled back.
"I was born in 1901 and had two parents that loved me very much. When I was 17 the Spanish influenza hit and both of my parents died. I was on the verge of death also and my mothers final request to your grandfather Carlisle was for him to save me, he did. I can't say much about the next 90 years because my life didn't really start until I met your mom."
She's your soul mate isn't she? I thought. It wasn't hard to see how perfect and happy my mom and dad were together. I couldn't imagine any two people more in love then them.
My dad laughed lightly, "She's much more than my soul mate, Renesmee, she's my life. From the very beginning I knew that I couldn't live without her. The first day I saw her, through the minds of the kids at school, was her first day at Forks High. I wasn't paying much attention to her because at that time humans didn't hold much interest for me, they were all pretty much the same. At lunch that day was the first time I saw her for myself but I couldn't hear her. Everyone else's thoughts were clear but she was silent to me. I couldn't understand why and that intrigued me. Then she walked past me during the next class." A shadow of horror passed over his face as he remembered that day. "I almost ruined all of our lives in that moment. Her scent was so irresistible it took all of my restraint to stop myself. I held my breath for the whole hour and then ran out of class."
I wonder if that is anything like Jacobs scent to me?
My dad looked at me with confused eyes, "What do you mean, Nessie?"
"Jacob smells so good to me that I almost can't stand to be away from him. I guess that's why I used to bite him all the time when I was little." I looked up at him and saw a small grin flash across his face. "So what did you do, Dad?"
"When school was over I ran. I spent six days in Denali trying to get her face out of my head. Finally I decided I wasn't going to let her keep me away from my family. I went back. A few days later she almost got hit by a car before school. I saw the whole thing happening before my eyes and I couldn't let her get hurt. I darted across the parking lot and pushed her out of the way, hoping no one saw me. But the car kept coming for her, it swung around like it was looking for her and tried to crush her again. I used all of my strength and speed to protect her. I didn't know why I did it, I just knew I had to. I thought maybe she wouldn't realize what I'd done but she did. She started asking questions I couldn't answer about what I'd done and I couldn't convince her otherwise. Sometimes your mom sees and understands the truth so certainly. My family was so mad at me, especially Rose and Jasper. They thought she needed to be dealt with so she wouldn't expose us. I knew I could never let that happen. Your Aunt Alice knew the truth though. She saw that I'd fallen in love with Bella and that I wouldn't be able to stay away from her. She saw her becoming one of us and I knew I could never let that happen either."
You didn't want mom to be a vampire? Why, I thought you were already in love with her?
"That's why. I loved her too much to sentence her to the life I had. I thought it was better for her to stay human and for me to love her from a distance. I tried to stay away from her. I ignored her at school thinking it would make it easier for me but it didn't. I saw the way the other boys thought of her and it made me crazy that I couldn't hear her thoughts towards them. Finally jealousy got the best of me and I knew I couldn't fight it anymore. So I threw myself into figuring her out. I wanted to know everything about her. I wanted her to know everything about me but I was afraid of what would happen when she did. When she figured out the truth about what I was I thought she would leave me. But your mom has always been a little different, not scared of the right things. She didn't care what I was she just wanted to be with me, it got very complicated."
She loved you from the beginning too didn't she? A bittersweet look shown in his eyes as he recalled those beginning months with my mom.
"Yes, she loved me from the beginning too. I tried to stop her, I tried to make her see how dangerous I was. It was so easy to fall in love with her. She seemed to be a danger magnet though, like fate was trying to take her from me. So for six months I stayed, telling myself she needed my protection. She did too, first she was stalked by a vampire named James. I almost lost her to him. I only just made it in time to save her. She was hurt very badly and I hated myself for it. I knew it was my fault it had happened. We grew much closer during that time. Those were very happy months. I would watch her sleep at night just to listen to her talk and hope to hear my name. I couldn't get enough time with her. When we kissed it was heavenly. When I thought she was in danger I did everything in my power to protect her. She constantly tried to convince me to change her but I refused. During her eighteenth birthday party there was an accident, she got cut very badly. I realized that night I was putting her in too much danger by staying. I had to leave for her own good. I convinced her I no longer loved her and I left. I told her it would be as if I'd never been apart of her life." The pain in his eyes was almost unbearable. I squeezed his hand and 'showed' him my memory of the two of them kissing good morning. My dad looked down at me with his beautiful smile again. I know there is a happy ending dad. If this is too much I'll understand. I had never heard all of their love story, just bits and pieces, but I felt I needed to understand it for myself. I was beginning to wonder about my future and about love. I could see how happy my grandparents were and my aunts and uncles, four perfectly matched couples. I was only beginning to ask questions about these relationships. I had never asked about my families history before, there was no reason. I knew I was loved and we were happy. Now I needed to understand how love began so I could watch for it, wait for it, hope for it in my life.
"Yes, Nessie, there is a happy ending but there were many difficult times that brought us to this point. I spent six months in agony away from her. But I knew I couldn't stay away, I was miserable. Then I got a phone call from Rose, a horrible misunderstanding, she said your mom was dead. I knew I could never live without her, I never planned to, so I went to Italy looking for a way to end my own life." He laughed an amused yet serious laugh. "Your mom came after me though. Her and Alice flew to Italy and she saved me. I was so relieved to have her in my arms again, I knew I would never leave her. Like all choices in life though there were consequences. When we returned to Forks I was faced with Jacob."
"Jacob! What do you mean? How did he become part of this?" I wondered out loud.
He looked at me with sad, far away eyes. "Renesmee, that is not a question I can answer for you, it's not my story to tell. You should talk to your mom about the time we were apart. I can tell you that there was a lot of pain and heartache for the three of us for awhile. I think your mom suffered the most and I hated that. But there was a lot of love too. Your mom and I got married and within a short time you were born. Then everything fell into place, the way it was meant to be."
"Do you think I'll ever find a love like you and mom have?"
"I know without a doubt you will find your soul mate. He will love you and protect you and give you not just everything you need but everything you want. You'll love him just as passionately too. Just don't rush Nessie, you have your whole life ahead of you." He pulled me close and hugged me. I love you, Dad. "And I you sweetheart. Are you ready to go home? I'm sure Jake will be back from classes soon and you need to get some studying done today."
"Sure, let's go."
I couldn't help but think about all the love stories in my family and smile. I also couldn't help but think about Jacob. I don't ever remember him not being around and I'd never thought to ask why, he was part of the family. Now I was curious about the why.
When we got home Jacob was already there working in the garage. He loved all things mechanical so he was in the garage all the time. He was currently rebuilding a 1967 Austin Healey 3000, his baby. "Hey Jake, how were classes today?" I asked as I entered the garage.
"Hey Nessie. Same old, same old. I'd rather be here then there." He rolled his eyes. Jacob didn't like school much but he was taking some engineering classes that interested him. I knew he didn't like Mondays because he went to campus alone. My classes were only on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday so those were our only days there together. He seemed to enjoy college when we were together and I helped him study most nights. I stood next to his car and watched him for a few minutes. Being with Jake was so comfortable, I never felt pressured to talk and he always seemed to know when I didn't want to. I still had my dads story in my head trying to sort through some things. After a few minutes of silence I walked around to where Jake was working. "So did you meet any new girls today?" I smiled mischievously.
"No one today Nessie." He rolled his eyes and shook his head. I had been asking him this question for a few weeks now. Since I'd begun thinking about my future love life I couldn't help but think about Jacobs too. I wanted to see him fall in love. I felt like he was too worried about me to think of himself. He put his tools down and wiped his hands on the rag in his pocket as he turned toward me. He looked into my eyes questioningly like he always did when he didn't understand me. I never felt uneasy when he looked at me that way because Jacob knew everything about me, I rarely hid anything from him.
"Should we take a walk down to the pond? It looks like you've got something on your mind." As he spoke he took my hand and led me out of the garage. It was nothing for us to walk hand in hand, we had since I was little. Jake was my best friend and I knew I could tell him anything. I followed him out of the garage not sure what I wanted to say, knowing he would wait for me to begin. I tried to organize my thoughts and began slowly.
"Dad and I went hunting today. We took the long way home and spent some time talking. I've been wondering about him and mom and their life before me so I asked." I glanced sideways at him to see if there was any reaction, we'd never discussed this before. He didn't seem surprised so I continued. "He told me about how they met and how they fell in love. He said there were some difficult times for them but lots of love too."
"Your mom and dad have always been very much in love Nessie. Nothing could have ever kept them apart, then or now. Why have you been so interested in love stories lately?" We had reached the pond and sat down in our usual spot under the oak tree. He looked at me with curious eyes and his goofy grin, which always made me feel at ease, like I was a child who'd done something funny. I was so glad Jacob was my best friend.
"I guess I've just been wondering if I'll ever fall in love and what it'll be like." I couldn't look at him, I was a little embarrassed. I was more comfortable talking to Jake about these feelings but still not sure what to expect. He gently lifted my face towards his until I had to look into his eyes. I was immediately comforted by the warmth there. I saw only compassion and understanding in his dark eyes. These eyes that always showed kindness and patience no matter what stupid thing I'd done. I had never seen anger in Jacobs eyes when he looked at me.
A curious smile spread across his face as he spoke, "Have you met someone you're interested in?"
"No!" I practically shouted. "I guess I've just been wondering what to look for."
"Renesmee, you don't have to look for love. When it's your time love will find you and you'll know. Don't be in a rush, you have your whole life ahead of you." He smiled.
"You sound like my dad, he said the same thing about not rushing." I frowned as I stared across the pond. Jake nudged me with his shoulder playfully.
"I'm sorry. I guess it's just hard for me to see you thinking about this kind of stuff already."
"I'm not a kid anymore Jake." I frowned again. "It's not like I have any control of my feelings you know. I am almost completely grown, at least my body anyway." There was no denying that. In the last six months my body had changed dramatically with curves developing in all the right places. The hormones had definitely kicked in recently too. I peeked at him out of the corner of my eye and saw a slight red color touch his cheeks, apparently he had noticed the changes too.
"I know Nessie. I guess I was hoping for a little more time that's all." He didn't look at me, only stared across the pond. For the first time I could ever remember the silence felt heavy between us. I knew we were both thinking about what to say next. I knew what I wanted to know though so I spoke first.
"Jake, have you ever been in love?" His eyes seemed to dim as he went back into his memory to a place before I was born. I could see the pain and sorrow this memory was bringing him and I felt sorry I had asked. But, true to form, Jacob would always give me whatever I asked for no matter the consequences. He spoke softly with a smile just barely touching the corners of his mouth.
"Yes, Nessie, I was in love once. It seems like such a long time ago now. I was a different person then, young, naïve. I met a girl one night at a bon fire down on the beach. She was older then me but our fathers were long time friends so I knew who she was. She asked me to go for a walk with her on the beach. She started asking me about some old legends I didn't believe in at the time. I told her the ones I knew, trying to scare her. When she left with her friends that night I figured I'd never see her again but I couldn't help thinking about her. I saw her a couple of times over the next few months and every time I would think about how pretty she was. I knew she had a boyfriend and my dad didn't like him at all. I thought it was silly for my dad to be so worried about it but it gave me an excuse to see her. I heard, through my dad, about what was happening in her life and I listened always concerned. She seemed to get hurt a lot and that worried me. One night my dad got a call that she was missing in the woods. They found her but she was out of it, apparently her boyfriend had left. I didn't hear anything for awhile though I thought of her often. I had a few crushes on girls at school but no one filled my thoughts like she did. One day out of the blue she showed up at my house. She asked me to help her fix some old motorcycles she'd gotten. I was ecstatic! I could tell she'd been hurt pretty bad when her boyfriend left, she was a wreck. She started coming over everyday and slowly she started to look more normal. It was so easy to be with her. I never felt like I had to fill the silences and she seemed to really enjoy being with me. We'd walk on the beach and talk. It was easy to touch her too, natural. We'd hold hands or I'd stroke her hair out of her face. I knew I was falling in love with her and I knew she didn't feel the same way about me but I couldn't help it. She was my soul mate, that I was sure of. We had a lot of good times but every now and then I could see how much pain she was still in. One night while we were at the movies she told me she didn't feel about me the way I felt about her. I was feeling pretty bold that night so I asked her if she liked me better then her friends at school. She said she did, said she liked me more than anyone else. So I asked her if it bothered her when I held her hand and she said it didn't. She wanted me to understand that she didn't love me but I didn't care. I told her I would wait and as long as she wanted me around I would be there for her." He looked down with a great pain in his eyes and I could hear the sorrow in his voice as he spoke again. "That night though was the first time I changed. I had no clue what was happening to me but my dad did. He called the others and soon I could hear their voices in my head explaining to me that the legends were true. I was a wolf, a protector of the tribe. The pack leader told me I couldn't see her again, it was too dangerous. He also said I could never tell her about what I was. I was devastated. She was my best friend, I had just promised never to leave her and now I had to break that promise. I avoided her phone calls and my dad said I was sick and couldn't have visitors so that kept her away for a few weeks. Finally though she showed up outside my house, I knew I had to make her go away. I could see the pain and hurt in her eyes and I was miserable. That night I snuck into her house and tried to make her understand that she already knew what was happening to me she just had to remember. She was so tired and upset with me that I knew she couldn't figure it out. I left that night hoping she would figure it out so I could keep my promise of not leaving her. When I woke up the next morning my dad told me she was waiting for me on the beach, my heart stopped. I didn't know what to expect. I knew she'd figured out my secret. When I saw her face and the accusations there I became very angry." He laughed quietly. "There was a misunderstanding. She wasn't upset that I was a wolf she was upset because she thought we were hurting people. Once she understood I felt such a rush of happiness. I had my best friend back. We got much closer after that because there were no secrets between us. One night when I took her home I sensed danger and took off again to protect her. She told me to stop though because she knew who was there and didn't feel she was in danger. I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest, she thought it was one of her ex-boyfriends family. I got out of her truck and ran as fast as I could away from the pain. I couldn't stand it though so when I got home I called just to make sure she was ok. I could hear the joy in her voice as she told me it was her ex-boyfriends sister. He'd left her, broken her so completely and now it was like none of that ever happened. She took off a few days later because he was in trouble and she wanted to save him. I was so shattered, like a part of me had been ripped away. When they returned it was as if the past months hadn't happened. I didn't see her but I couldn't stop thinking about her. The next months were hard. I got to see her once in awhile and I tried to make the best of those times, pretending like nothing had changed. She was so happy and I couldn't deny that no matter how it hurt."
"I don't understand how she could walk away from you like that. Didn't she know what it would do to you?" I asked. I could feel his pain and I wanted to take it away.
"Yes, she knew and it was hard for her too. She didn't know that she loved me yet. I was determined to fight for her. I had to make her see that she loved me just as I loved her. We were getting ready for a fight against some newborn vampires and I knew she would do anything for me if she felt guilty. So I played on that and convinced her to kiss me. She tried to resist her feelings but couldn't. I could feel it when she finally gave in and the high was like nothing I'd ever felt before. I also knew it wasn't enough. I got hurt at the end of the battle and had to stay in bed for a few days. She came to see me later that night after everyone had gone home. She was worried that her finally realizing that she loved me would make it harder for me now that she was choosing him. I held her and told her it was better for me. At least I would never wonder if her choice would've been different. I knew she understood I was her soul mate and we both understood it still wasn't enough. I knew she was happy, I could live with the rest." He looked deep into my eyes searching for something but I'm not sure what. It was a long moment before he spoke again.
"Renesmee, love will change you. When you realize that you can't live without that person and your whole being revolves around that one point… there is nothing that can compare." A look of pure bliss came across his face like he knew that feeling well. He reached over and took my hand, "Is there anything else you want to know, Nessie?"
I sat with my knees pulled up resting my chin on my other arm. I was thinking about my conversation with my dad this morning. He said Jacob was a consequence of his time away from my mom. Could this really be true? Could the one person Jacob had been in love with, his soul mate, really have been my mom? If that was true and she had hurt him that badly why had he stuck around all this time? There didn't seem to be any animosity between them so what had changed? How could Jacob just shut off his feelings towards his soul mate just because she was happy with someone else? I couldn't make all of these things fit together, I needed to talk to my mom.
"Are you ok Nessie? You seem very far away." Jacob's soft voice sounded so concerned. I turned to look him in the eye and smiled.
"I'm fine Jake, really. Let's head back to the house. I found a new recipe I was thinking of trying for supper tonight. You up to helping?"
"Of course! So what are we eating tonight?" He got up quickly and helped me to my feet. He continued to hold my hand while we walked up to the house, talking the whole way. I knew who I needed to talk to I just wasn't sure when or how. I needed some time to process what I'd learned today.
"So what are we making tonight?" Jacob asked again as we walked into the kitchen. I didn't need to eat human food, I preferred not to. Ever since I was young though Jacob made it a game for me to try new foods. We would always try to outdo each other with exotic new recipes. I had learned to like some things so we continued the game. Every night we would prepare dinner together for just the two of us. This was always one of my favorite times of the day. Since no one else in the house ate human food Jake and I always had this time to ourselves. We shared most of our secrets during these times.
"Kalamata pork tenderloin with rosemary, what do you think?" I asked.
"Sounds great lets get cooking! What do you want me to do?"
"Why don't you work on the veggies. I'll cook the meat." This was always so easy with Jake, he made me laugh. It was easy to put the thoughts from the pond out of my head for now. We joked and laughed and talked about school while we cooked and then ate. I loved sitting across from him at dinner watching how much he enjoyed food. He was so animated when he ate sometimes it was hard to tell if he was being truthful or joking around.
"Well, I guess you won tonight Nessie, that was wonderful!" He patted his stomach as he stood and gathered the plates. I followed him into the kitchen and started filling the sink for dishes. He began cleaning off the counters while I worked at the sink. Suddenly I had this overwhelming urge for payback. Jacob had managed to soak me numerous times during dinner cleanup but I never seemed to be quick enough to get him back. I knew he had his back to me wiping off the island. I didn't think twice.
I grabbed the sink sprayer, "Guess what Jake!" Like two dance partners in perfect synchronization we both spun toward the other. I pressed the sprayer and got him square in the chest before he realized what happened. The look of shock on his face was priceless, I laughed out loud. My victory was short lived though as I realized I was too close to get away from his long arms. He grabbed me around the waist and twisted me to him. I could feel his wet shirt soaking mine. I looked up into his eyes, our faces just inches apart. Suddenly I felt an electric current run through my body and I tensed. It wasn't uncomfortable, exactly the opposite. In that one second every nerve in my body seemed to scream Jacobs name. I could feel each of his muscles flex against me and I liked it. He immediately set me down and stepped away. I wasn't sure if he felt the current too or if he was just reacting to my sudden tension.
"I-I'm sorry Jake." I could feel my face flush as I hurried past him and straight to my bedroom.
"Night everyone. I've got some studying to do. See you in the morning." I called quickly as I ran up the stairs. I couldn't get to my room fast enough. I felt like everyone in the house could hear my heart racing, they probably could. As I closed my door and went to my bed I let out a huge sigh. What had just happened down there? I felt so foolish running away. I didn't understand the feelings and thoughts I was having. All I could think about was how good it felt to be in his arms, how I wanted him to kiss me, and how I never wanted him to let me go. I shook the thoughts from my head. This was Jake I was thinking about, my best friend. How could I have these feelings, about him? But hadn't Jacob told me he'd fallen in love with his best friend? I couldn't think about any of this, it reminded me of the things I needed to talk to my mom about. I threw on my pajamas, flopped down in bed, shoved my headphones in and turned up my mp3 player. I don't know how long I laid there forcing myself not to think before I finally fell asleep. That night was the beginning of my Jacob dreams.