Soundtrack of Our Lives Chapter 1: Addiction, a twilight fanfic

This is a collection of Twilight songfics, from various perspectives. I have no idea how many there will be, when I will post them, or when it will end.

Anywho, this is the first of the collection. Edward introspective.

Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight...then I would be rich and not writing fanfiction. If I owned Better than Drugs, I would be doubly rich and writing songs, not fanfiction. So, since I write fanfiction, I clearly own neither object.

Addiction

I'll listen to anything once. When you have an eternity to find good music, listening to a CD once isn't that much of a sacrifice, anyway. This particular CD was somewhat intriguing, being as I had somehow never heard of the group. How Rosalie had settled on it was still strange. What she said and what I found her to be thinking were the same: that she had wanted to buy me something and just randomly picked a CD. Thanks, Rose.

Skillet… I racked my brain for any possible knowledge of them. When I came up empty, I gave in and put the CD in the player. I decided that, since I didn't know how this CD would be, I would make myself busy organizing my other new CDs while listening. My mistake.

In my distraction, I forgot that my sound system was set on shuffle. So I didn't even get the three preceding songs before the one that stopped me dead in my tracks. Granted, I missed the first bit, but it still grabbed my attention. I hurriedly started the song over, listening more intently.

Feel your every heartbeat
Feel you on these empty nights
Calm the ache, stop the shakes
You clear my mind
You're my escape
From this messed up place
'Cause you let me forget
You numb my pain

I was blown away by the song. At that point, I could only stare at the system and absorb the lyrics, too stunned to do anything more.

How can I tell you just all that you are
What you do to me

You're better than drugs
Your love is like wine
Feel you coming on so fast
Feel you coming to get me high
You're better than drugs
Addicted for life
Feel you coming on so fast
Feel you coming on to get me high

All of a sudden, the thoughts that seemed to have entirely vanished with the lyrics suddenly flooded my brain. Did these Skillet people somehow manage to watch me? Because this song was…it was essentially my thoughts, if they were to be made into a song.

Feel you when I'm restless
Feel you when I cannot cope
You're my addiction, my prescription, my antidote
You kill the poison
Ease the suffering
Calm the rage when I'm afraid
To feel again

How can I tell you just all that you are
What you do to me

I couldn't believe how incredibly accurate this song is. How it made perfect sense. Bella was essentially my drug of the song (I do remember telling her once that she was my brand of heroin…was I perhaps tempting fate to hand me this song?). It wasn't just the fact that, as a vampire, her blood tempted me. Her very presence was enough to make me feel…high, I suppose.

How can I tell you just all that you are

What you do to me

Feel your every heartbeat
Feel you on these empty nights
You're the strength of my life

Oh, the truth of it all. Bella, the one person I shouldn't be around, was my life (or whatever it is that vampires have). Her existence was enough to keep me going. Every moment I spent with her was better than the last; any time we spent apart, I was thinking of her. At least I admit that I'm addicted to my girlfriend. And again, this song must have been inspired by our relationship; I can't see how else it would exist.

Was she aware of this song? I wasn't sure whether I would want to share it; we may have shared most of our lives with one another, but this deep feeling of mine was something I wasn't entirely sure of. Not that I didn't know my own mind; that I knew. I just didn't want to scare Bella. It did take me up until now to come to terms with my feelings, though, so maybe she knew.

Feel your every heartbeat
Feel you on these empty nights

Feel you coming on so fast

Feel you coming on to get me high
Feel your every heartbeat
Feel you on these empty nights

Feel you coming on so fast

Feel you coming on to get me high

I sank onto the couch after stopping the music. The rest of the CD could wait until later. After all, if any of the other songs were as psychic as this one, I needed time to reorganize my thoughts first. One was quite clear, however.

I have to remember to go shopping with Rosalie next time: I want more of this.

So, what do you think? Kiowa loves reviews...also, ideas for characters/songs would be considered, provided I have the song, so suggest away!