Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN THE CHARACTERS

Pairing: 1827 ( Hibari x Tsuna)

Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort

Summary: If ignorance is bliss, how come disregarding your existence is one of the hardest things I've ever tried to do?

Also posted HERE

A Week without Kyoya

If ignorance is bliss,
how come disregarding your existence
is one of the hardest things I've ever tried to do?

"…I have to talk to you."

The phrase broke me. A riot of confusion ascended from within me. Every fragmented bit of me tried to stay whole but that's when it hit me. He doesn't love me anymore. Did he ever? I queried our relationship. I didn't reply to the text. I shut my phone and cried to sleep.

I knew what was coming my way, what was coming ourway.

Skipping school the next day, in order to not face him, seemed reasonable at the time. I wanted to fix what I had done but I couldn't. How could I do so if I didn't even have the strength to even look at him? Staying home and just lying on my back, on my warm bed, staring at the ceiling, reliving all those memories that were gliding away seemed to be the right thing to do.

A prudent man once said, "Separation allows one to cherish."

I anticipated that he would miss me, that he'd realize he needed me. I was wrong. Oh, how I was mistaken for later that night my phone lit up and rang. I received a text from Gokudera. I deleted it instantaneously. I wasn't in the mood to talk to him, or anybody, except for Kyoya. I grew weary of waiting to hear from him. And just when I got up from my bed, my phone lit up and rang. I was contented. Kyoya texted me, which meant he had missed me, right?

Wrong.

Kyo-kun: We gotta talk

Me: ?

Kyo-kun: It's not working for me

Me: Umm…Why?

Kyo-kun: I don't know…

Me: Did I do something?

Kyo-kun: No…I just don't feel anything anymore.

Me: Oh…but…I still like u

Kyo-kun: Sorry?

Me: It's not your fault…I'm sorry. So should we go back to being friends?

Kyo-kun: Saying so is like my mom saying that the dog died, but we can still keep it…

Me: …I love you

Kyo-kun: Seriously? What is your problem?

…

...

The conversation I had dreaded and tried to evade was over. I thought I would be dying; nevertheless I couldn't even bring myself to shed a single tear.

The next day, when I walked into class, I saw him. We sit next to each other in class, and the 1st day was intolerably awkward. So were the following 3-4 days. I wanted to ask him why he broke up with me but I couldn't for I was too petrified. And I think I know the answer. Although, I still haven't mustered up the courage to hear it from him. Maybe Kyoya had something to ask me too. But then again, all we could do were ignoring each other's presence and wondering what the answer was. As for all the emotions I couldn't let out, they blasted out as soon as I saw Yamamoto in the hallway. He clasped me tight and I cried and cried.

Kyoya,
why did you break my fragile heart?

The question still lingers and the aching it carries with it envelops me.

"Dame-Tsuna," Reborn repeats every time he catches me whining about Kyoya. He says nothing more than that and I comprehend what he's trying to convey. I'm not that stupid.

No-good Tsuna, maybe you are stupid.

I was stupid. Not anymore. By the 5th day, when I tried to picture Kyoya, I couldn't. Slowly, every small detail that I tried so hard to remember, everything about him, couldn't come to my grasp when I tried to reach out for it. I couldn't paint an image of him in my mind. I couldn't feel his touch, his embrace.

All I could remember is the way he made me feel.

It's still like that. I can't picture Kyoya clearly. In school, I just stare at him. I get bitter when someone attempts to make the slenderest exchange with him. But all he does is ignore me. He's good at it, really good.

Today's the 7th day.

I thought I would die without him. I thought I needed him to go on. But I don't. More than I miss him, I miss annoying him. Now that I think of it, I can't think of a reason why I love him so bad. Maybe I don't love him, do I? Maybe I never did. Was Reborn right?

I can't overlook you.
My heart is still trying so hard to preserve something that's already gone,
gone for quite a while now.

I don't even know if I make sense anymore. Part of me still loves him and the rest of me, just confused. A week without Kyoya, a week playacting we don't know each other, and look what I've come to be.

But then again, my feelings for him haven't changed much.

Honestly, I miss him a lot and sometimes, it gets so bad. I miss the cold glare which appears so muted at times, the way his dusky hair falls over his brow, the way his blazer is suspended so nonchalantly over his shoulder, the way he walks so sublimely that it's daunting, the way he renders himself as a loathed skylark is so plausible that it makes you pity him. And the way he smiled, that one time, he honestly smiled; it was tremendously ravishing to the point where I thought I had had a foretaste of paradise.

I'm locked in thoughts of you,
but don't get me wrong,
Kyoya,
I'm over you.

There are times when I want to run to him, hold him tight and ask him to come back; but then again, when I think about it judiciously, that maybe overdoing it. Looking at him from afar, with my insides ablaze, is good enough for me.

I don't want Gokudera, Yamamoto, Sasagawa, Reborn, or anyone to hear this pathetic story of mine and be moved by it, touched by it, no; I just want Kyoya to know that I'm over him, that I'm finally getting used to ignoring the very reality of him.

I used to stress over you, find ways to impress you.
Now I think less of you.
I just wish the best for you.

I know this isn't good because I wrote it really quickly. No time these days T^T and I wasn't thinking clearly

and 1827 is a ship i hate with a passion

Anyway, reviews would be great ^^
Till then, bii-bii