My first go at a parody. Yay!
I do not own the characters used in this story, nor the fairy tale "the Three Billy Goats Gruff", which is being mocked and twisted around in this work of fanfiction.
The Three Nanny Goats Trix
Once upon a time in Magix, there were three nanny goats, named Icy, Darcy, and Stormy. Their last name was Trix. The three had already taken over the pasture they were kept in, but wanted to move on to an even better pasture.
"Those lesser goats have already eaten half our grass!" Stormy, the smallest Nanny goat, grumbled. She looked more sheep-like than her sisters, having curly blue-violet hair with lighter purple markings on her face and feet. A pair of small, straight horns peeked out over her curly fluff. "We need to go find more pasture to conquer!"
"But where?" Icy, the biggest and oldest of the three, asked. Her fur was short and sleek and the color of ice crystals. A pair of long, sharp horns protruded from the back of her skull like spears. "We can't go to the sheep's meadow. The pink flowers made us sick the last time we grazed there. Those stupid Billy goats claimed the mountain plateau."
"Even though we can fly and climb very well, that's a bit of a trek." Darcy, the second Nanny goat, pointed out. Her fur was brown and luxuriously long, while her horns were intermediate in size compared to her two sisters. "But what about that awesome plain on the other side of the river? We haven't been there yet, and the grass looks really tasty!"
"Best idea you've had in months, Darcy." Stormy leapt for joy in the air. "Let's go get some grass!"
Now, to get across the river without getting swept away—for this river was a swift one, you had to cross over a bridge just before a great waterfall. However, a troll by name of Sky lived under the bridge. His golden hair hung in scraggly dreadlocks from his skull, and wide blue eyes were always peeled for his next meal. He particularly liked the taste of goat, and especially magical goats.
Too bad magical goats were so hard to catch!
Stormy was the first of the Nanny Goats Trix to get to the bridge, her smaller hooves making quite the racket on the wooden planks of the old structure. The sound woke the sleeping Troll Sky, who stood to block her way.
"Who dares cross my bridge…oh, it's a goat!" His eyes lit up with glee. "I'll gobble you up and gnaw on your bones!"
"Not today, creep!" Stormy shouted, calling down lightning from the skies. The bolts struck the troll, stunning him long enough to let the smallest Trix run by.
Troll Sky shouted after the small Nanny as she scampered off. "You're too bony anyway!"
Next to the bridge was Darcy, who made even more noise. Troll Sky hunched over, ready to catch the goat as she made her way across the bridge. "It must be my lucky day!" He grinned, his smile revealing several blackened and missing teeth.
"Oh, I don't think so," Darcy smiled seductively as shadows cast by the bridge rose up and bound the troll long enough for her to saunter past him. Once free, he tried to run and chase her, but Darcy proved too fast and Troll Sky was yet again left without a goat dinner.
The sounds of his bridge creaking and groaning drew his attention, and he ran back to his post in time to see Icy walking across it like she owned the place.
"Man, I gotta get more exercise." She grumbled to herself. She didn't know she'd put on that much weight over the winter. "Stormy was right; I do need to go on a diet!"
"Oh, no. I think you're perfect!" Troll Sky leered at her, looking the Nanny Goat Trix over like a piece of meat. Fat goats were slower and therefore easier to catch. "I like my dinner a little flabby!"
Icy's eyes glowed a menacing silver. "Did you just call me FLABBY?" She shrieked.
"So what if I did?" Sky advanced on her, blocking her way across the bridge. She wasn't small enough to slip by him like her sisters had been. "You won't be around long enough to stay offended!"
"Why you PERVERT!" Icy cried out, an orb of glowing energy forming in between her horns. "For that you will FREEZE and DIE!" A beam shot out from the orb, instantly turning Troll Sky into solid ice. "Oh great, the jerk is still in my way." She growled, backing up to the start of the bridge. "Well, he won't be for long!" With a loud shout of righteous fury, Icy Trix ran at the ice sculpture. Using momentum and her long, sharp horns to her advantage, she skewered the once-Troll Sky and dumped him over the edge of the bridge. His frozen form floated over the waterfall, unable to even scream as he fell to his ultimate demise.
"Aww, I thought I was gonna get to blast him." Stormy pouted as she and Icy met their sister on the other side of the bridge.
"That's okay, Stormy. You can have the next troll." Icy told her sister, who floated off the ground in total glee.
"Yay!"
The Three Nanny Goats Trix stayed in that meadow for quite some time. They ate and frolicked with reckless abandon, and kept control of their meadow until their kids were grown and able to run the place.
"Aaah. Retirement." Darcy bleated, lying lazily under a tree. Her brown fur was now tinged with gray and much longer. "I am so glad we don't have to defend this place anymore."
"Or raise kids." Stormy grumbled. Her hair had some silver patches in it by now, and her horns had grown into long spirals. "That was harder than keeping the darn sheep out!"
"Yeah, but it was worth it to not have to do any work for the rest of our lives." Icy pointed out, watching their children and grandchildren eat and frolic. "Now we can be as lazy as we want."
"So that explains why you're still so fat." Stormy smirked mischievously as Darcy tried to keep from laughing. Icy did not find it amusing in the least.
"Hey!"
.