Nothing is what it seems like

Chapter 1 Life without you

Takes place after 2.14. Elena and Stefan are separated about 2 years ago. Klaus and Matt are both dead. Elijah had kept his promise and Bonnie had been able to kill Klaus with help from Lucy and her family. They had been able to channel enough power, so none of them had to die. Elena lives in Chicago, working as journalist and writing novels. She had decided to leave him to have a normal live, but this is just the surface. It is twisted - always.

/

2014 April 5th

Caroline's birthday party in Atlanta, the next morning.

"Oh, yes, oh my god, Stefan, …. " Caroline moaned " don't stop. " Then Caroline lowered her voice " Oh Elena, god you're so delicious, oh, hmmmm, " now Caroline began to growl.

In front of her was sitting a blushed, but grinning Elena, both sitting at Caroline's kitchen table, drinking coffee. They were alone the others had already left including Stefan. Caroline watched Elena a moment before she continued.

"You're not allowed to blush about this. What you both said was much worse than that and I was the one who had to listen to this the whole night. You told me that you wouldn't come and sleep over. Otherwise I wouldn't have invited Stefan to my b-day. " Caroline explained, slightly annoyed.

"I'm sorry Caroline. I didn't know that I would be finished with work that early, so I took the plane." Elena remarked, looking down while playing with her coffee mug like she was a little ashamed.

"Don't lie to me. You are not sorry for this. Did you take the plane because you knew that Stefan would be here?" Caroline asked suspiciously.

"No, but yes I wanted to see him. I didn't know that this would happen again and that you would be bothered that much. You never told me. " Elena said sincerely looking at Caroline.

"Because I decided just to invite one of you each year alternately after my last b-day where I had to listen to you two as well. Stefan sounds like a wildcat. I can never ever go with him in a zoo near any lions or tigers."

"Actually, I like his growling. It is so animalistic." Elena admitted, slightly blushing again.

"Elena, you should not sleep with your ex on my b-day. You broke up with him because you wanted to have a family." Caroline reminded her.

" Yes and no, just the kids were missing. " Elena corrected Caroline.

"He is not aging. How should he have been a father?" At this Elena became defensive.

"I know, but anyway when I get children they will have to face my destiny as well. There could always be a danger for them. Their lives will not be completely normal. And Caroline you don't need to watch so concerned. It was just this night and yes I miss him, but he was the one who broke up the contact."

Later in the bathroom Elena opened the shower and turned on the faucets. Then she sat down on the ground, watching how the water was cascading down, just remembering their last night together. No, she wouldn't wash away his sent, not today, maybe tomorrow.

/

6 month later – November 2014

Elena was breathing deeply, feeling his weight upon her body, the sweat their bodies were producing right now and his thrusts. She felt a bit dizzy, drunken from all the wine, but not to drunk not to enjoy it. She pulled him closer and mumbled

" Oh, Stefan. I need this so much."

Suddenly the thrust became more forceful and moments later she heard a loud moan escaping his mouth, followed from stillness. Then he collapsed right beside her, panting for air and grabbing the water bottle from her nightstand. Elena was just lying there, still waiting, but nothing happened. He began edgily to drink and offered her as well. She took a sip and watched him; the reality was coming back, infiltrating her mind. This guy had not been the best lover this was sure. He had no idea how to pleasure her as well. She was unsatisfied but didn't care at the moment. It wouldn't be worth it explaining to him what he had to do. She didn't want to play guinea pig for a one night stand. All she wanted was this guy to leave as soon as possible.

"Can I have more water?" He snapped her out of her thoughts.

"Yeah, of course. I get some for you."

"My name is Steven by the way and not Stefan." He explained to her.

"Oh, my mistake, sorry." Elena left. She had not really paid attention to his words at the party, too drunk, too absorbed in her own thoughts. Today it was okay to do that she told her, but she needed to stop it, sleeping with a guy and imagining it to be Stefan. It was not healthy and the guys were not as good as he was. She had learned that lesson over the years and unfortunately this made it more difficult to picture him. This was something she needed sometimes, the only thing she allowed herself from time to time. When she brought Steven the water, Elena began to explain that her brother would come tomorrow morning and she had to get up early, so she asked him to leave.

"You can say that you don't want me to stay here tonight. Don't worry."

Elena nodded while he got dressed. At her door he turned around and faced her again.

"Maybe, we could repeat that one day. You are really beautiful." He smiled seductively at her.

Elena's view must have said everything, because Steven's facial expression changed. Now he looked surprised and shocked.

"Was it so bad?"

"Um, let's just say you ended up satisfied me not."

/

After changing the sheets and consuming half of the ice cream. Elena poured herself more wine and decided it was time to take a shower. She wanted to wash his sent and her memories away. On her way she took a picture of Stefan and went to the bathroom. There she placed it on the mirror, so she could see it from the shower and lit a candle.

"Happy birthday Stefan. I hope you have a great day with Caroline." She whispered and drank more wine, placing the glass next to the shower.

The water helped her to relax, watching his picture, imaging what he was doing now and thinking about the last time she saw him. Elena sank down while the water was still cascading down her body. She let her hand tracing lower and lower over her belly to her center. Now she could remember him, picture him and not worry about her words. Tonight it was about Stefan. When she would wake up tomorrow and go outside, see the world and the couples with babies she would know that she had made the right decision back then.

/

2 month later - 2015 January

Stefan knocked at her door and moments later she was standing right in front of him with a surprised face, unable to say a word.

"Hi, I … I just had the feeling that I wanted to see you, just knowing you are okay and happy with your life… um… as a friend. …. I'm not here to try anything, just drink a coffee and leave later if you're okay with it." He was nervous clenching his hands and looking unsure into her eyes.

She saw how he swallowed and opened the door further, inviting him in with a friendly smile on her face. Elena showed him her apartment and he liked it, it was so feminine and covered with pictures from her family and friends. An hour later they were sitting on her couch, drinking coffee and eating cake.

She ignored several calls and texted something instead. She saw his questing look and explained.

" Just a friend. Some of my friends wanted to go and watch a movie, but I said I couldn't."

" You don't need to cover it, if you have a boyfriend, but I appreciate that you just text him when I'm here. " Stefan remarked friendly.

"I don't have a boyfriend. I did, but it didn't work out so well. We broke up and this was really just a good friend. " Elena explained, facing him and noticing his relive.

They talked a while and Elena began to feel the closeness of them. He understood her, so she finally explained how she felt.

"After everything which happened back then I have sometimes problems with people. I feel so old, so much more experienced than the others. After my parents died and all the problems came up, I grew up faster I guess. The past is still hunting me, it's a process. I'm working on it, so it is not so easy to have a relationship or friendship. I try and it works mostly, but there are these moments where I can't tell the truth. They are much more easygoing than I have become. " She left out the part that she couldn't talk about him, about why she left him with her new friends. She had tried that once with a girl from her new sport club. One day the two girls had been talking about boys and Elena had explained that she had left her boyfriend because he couldn't procreate and she wanted to have babies. The girl had looked at Elena shaking her head and Elena had felt like the worst, cruelest person one this planet at that moment – it sounded so heartless. She couldn't explain the truth, so she had to keep it to herself.

"So you are making a therapy?" Elena snapped out of her thoughts and confirmed.

"Yes, I did it, but I didn't want people to know. Caroline compelled the therapist, so I could explain everything and she didn't think I was crazy or made any notes. It helped, but she said I will need time, much time and she have never had somebody with such a life story."

He nodded, of course he understood her.

"So I explained all about my drama and now I want to know about yours."

This reminded him of the conversation they had a long time ago at the founder's ball. He chuckled when he thought about that night. He had to tell her something, but it was not easy. Elena nipped at her coffee, watching how Stefan casual behavior slowly changed.

"Well, it was not easy after you broke up with me, but I enjoyed spending time with my friends. I needed my time and I missed good old Europe, so I decided to work in France, at the coast. I work there in a little restaurant and the owner is great guy, Émil. Now he is really friend. At first I was just working behind the bar, but now I'm cooking as well. I was just cutting the vegetables, but then he realized that I can cook and he showed me a lot. I like it there. The restaurant is called Tintin. "

" What is with your personal life?" She was playing with the coffee mug , not able to look in his face." if you want to tell me." She added carefully. The story about him and France she had already known from Caroline.

"Caroline didn't tell you?" He saw the change of surprise and confusion in her face.

"Oh, no, no….not Caroline. Um,… my life with girls started one day, one night when I was drunk.. , nothing serious and not really much, almost nothing. Then I moved to France and it was the same for a while."

Stefan noticed how Elena hung on his lips.

"Uhm,… then one day … Katherine showed up and started to work in the same village in a bar."

Stefan watched how Elena's jaw dropped, but she didn't say a word, so Stefan went on.

" Well, one night she begged me to let her invite her into the house where I live with a guy from the work, Ramon. She was truly terrified, because 3 hunters from the past had found her, but she had been able to escape. They didn't believe her that Klaus was dead. I let Ramon invited her in. Bonnie and Caroline came one day later and together we killed the three of them."

"Caroline and Bonnie never told me that." Elena was upset, but he calmed her down.

"They wanted you to live your life and the threat was gone, but now Katherine was coming and going whenever she wanted to. Ramon and Émil had a lot of fun watching us fighting. Katherine loved to tell them stories about me, my father, Damon whatever…. . I wanted to leave, but she said she would follow me, so I stayed and we finally made truce."

"Oh, that is good to hear. I was always worried if someone would meet her again and what she would do." Elena began to relax.

" I wasn't finished. … One night when Katherine, I and some guys from the bar played cards and drank a lot I … I was … her seduction was finally working on me, my body was telling me that and I decided to give in. She didn't believe me at first. I told her it would be no love for me and she was okay with it. " Stefan concluded and watched Elena who went paler, squeezing her mug.

She needed a moment to bit the bullet. "How romantic. " Was all she could get out at first. Then she added " Oh Stefan she is working on it to get your love and you know it. " Finally she hissed " Where there no other girls. You are really obsessed with this look."

He shrugged " Maybe, but I don't see me falling in love anytime soon. Katherine knows it. She is a vampire. This makes things a lot easier. I don't have to pretend or lie and I will always have the human-vampire problem as you know, so… why not."

" But she abused you and wanted to kill you!" Elena shot back.

"But she also protected me because she didn't come back. I know that she is looking at first at herself, but at least she didn't brought me in danger after faking her death and I don't want to marry her . It is just sex and a little comfort." Elena couldn't believe that Stefan was defending Katherine. This was too surreal for her, so she went on

" She is an egocentric and egoistic bitch. She comes at first … always." Stefan reaction was just a chuckle, with a little shake of his head.

"A lot of people do that. You decided to leave me because you wanted to have normal life with children and grow old. What you wanted to have was more important for you. This is no accusation, but you never wanted to talk with me about the possibility of being with me or give us a chance how it could work."

This was a shot directly in her heart. She began to shake her head vehemently and huffed with tears of anger welling in her eyes." This is not fair Stefan."

" I didn't want to compare it, I'm just saying that you both preferred your own wish." Elena gulped. What should she say? He was right about it and she hated hearing it. She had never tried to talk to him about a future with him or giving him a chance, so she finally asked.

"Did Bonnie and Caroline know this?" Stefan nodded while Elena let out a groan of annoyance.

"What did you expected? That we would end up between the sheets every time we meet?"

" No, soon I will be too old, no contrary to Katherine? " she spit out."Did you come to tell me that there won't be more nights because of her?" She needed to know this.

"No, I told you why I came and the second reason was Katherine. I wanted to tell you that on my own."

"So it seems like you accomplished you mission." It was all she could say while Stefan watched her. After a few moments he offered.

"Do you want me to leave? I would prefer to go with a better feeling, but it is your decision."

/

Forgive me my grammar I'm not a native speaker.

Next chapter we will learn more about Stefan and Katherine and Stefan and Elena. The next chapter will be the most difficult and sad, but it is part of the journey. Please let me know what you think

Unfortunatly all my tires to separate the scenes are not working ?