I abhor her sweet smile, and the way she always smells like sugar spun on a stick.

I abhor the way she sits and reads by the lake, her legs tucked underneath her frame. I abhor the way I want to run my fingers through her long, bushy hair, curling my fingers through each brown lock. I despise the way her chocolatey brown eyes always seem so open and loving, sparkling with some inner joy. I despise her soft, plump lips and the way they curve into a smile, making me want to take them with my own.

I abhor this new feeling, how, where I once used to despise her every being, I now want to take her into my arms and hold her close. I abhor the way when I think of her, I actually feel something, and am not my usual numb self. I despise the way she can achieve top grades in each class, and not appear stressed. I despise the way she is a Lion, and I am a Snake, for we can never mingle because of it. I loathe her inner beauty, and the way she can melt my insides with just one smile.

I loathe my parents, for keeping me away from her because of her Blood, and I loathe her for making me loathe my own flesh and blood. I despise the whole ritual of Pureblood life, and the way we never speak of Mudbloods. I abhor the fact that I am allegedly superior to her, though I know I could never match her intellect and bravery. I loathe the fact that I know I am a coward; a coward for not paving my own destiny, a coward for not escaping the drudgery, a coward for not telling her these new feelings and my loathing of them.

I abhor the fact that I know she'll forgive me, though I've never been openly nice to her, which I abhor about myself too. I despise the fact that I could never truly make her happy and that I cause her pain. I loathe myself for not keeping my emotions under control, like the Pureblood I'm meant to be. I abhor the fact that I want to press her against the wall, and roughly ravage her mouth with mine. I abhor the way I want to breathe her scent in, for I could never get enough of it though I've only let it engulf my senses when I'm alone, in the dark.

I despise the way I feel safe when in her presence, ethereal, as though nothing could touch me, not even the Dark Lord. I loathe the fact that I'm branded, marked, and her sweet flesh is untouched, clean, pure. I abhor the way I want to make her mine, to dilute her pureness and make her like me. I loathe that even more, though, because I also want to her to stay pure, to stay mine. I abhor the way I know the Bloodtraitor has more of a chance with her than I do, that I could never have her because I am who I am.

I detest her curvy frame, hidden beneath baggy school uniform and stacks of books she carries around. I utterly loathe the way I want grab her, to hold her tight, to make her cry out with pain or joy, two different things, but I despise the way I just want her to cry out in any form.

I scorn the way she looks at me, dislike mingling with… something else. I abhor the way I hope this something else is 'love'. I despise the way this makes me question what 'love' is, and wonder if I am even able to possess such an emotion. I deplore the way I can't even control and censor my thoughts, for I am weak when concerning her. I abhor my weakness.

But most of all, I abhor her sweet smile and the way she always smells like sugar spun on a stick.

You know what I just realized? This is boring! But here I am, posting it anyway. It's also much, much shorter than I allow myself to write, but I figured it was already boring enough without me making it any longer. Please review! ... Because I am a review whore (woot woot) and this is my first Dramione and I'm anxious to see what people make of it.

xox Caramel