Hello everyone. I don't even know why I started writing this. In any case, this is going to be a bit of an ongoing project with your help. This chapter kinda gives the set up for the rest of this. It's not a legitimate fanfic story with a plot and everything but it's still going to be pretty entertaining or at least I think so (I've discovered that it's quite fun to write like Rita Skeeter. If I get bored I may even write some of the articles I mentioned in this chapter). It's more of a "ask questions and Rita Skeeter will respond to you" kind of thing. So, go ahead and read what I've got and if you have an interesting question/problem/comment then leave a review and Rita will answer it in the next chapter. How often I update depends on how many reviews I get with questions or comments so be sure to leave a review.
Rita Skeeter Branches Out After Unjust Slander From The Daily Prophet
Hello readers,
I'm sure that you are all dying for my next article due to be published in Witch Weekly's 176th issue on the sordid love affair between war hero Ronald Weasley's ex-girlfriend Lavender Brown, who was tragically maimed in the battle for Hogwarts and Terry Boot, a shy and rather ambitious man who is attempting to work his way up in the Ministry, but that will have to wait. As of now, dear reader, I am simply at a loss. I have been accused of using unethical means of obtaining information (which is totally ridiculous by the way. I would never do anything illegal) and, because of these unjust and unfounded accusations, I have decided to boycott the Daily Prophet.
Yes dear reader. I will no longer be writing for their paper. Because of their unjustified actions against their employees, I have decided to take my work elsewhere (be on the lookout for my expose, "The Daily Prophet: Neglectful or Newsworthy?"). As such, I have decided that I shall take matters into my own hands and begin my own column. Before my decision to stand up to the monopolized system, a close friend of Harry James Potter, the boy who lived, told me that Mr. Potter frequently enjoys reading a muggle newspaper column known as "Dear Abby" where questions are posed and a muggle advice giver answers them to the best of her ability. Golden trio member Hermione Granger often tearfully expresses her concern about the lack of wizard and muggle relations in the everyday witch or wizard's life. Ms. Granger herself is a muggleborn witch and she has tearfully recounted many times when her muggle heritage has been detrimental to people's view of her. Given these recent developments, I have decided that in the spirit of muggle acceptance that is often so absent from our everyday wizarding lives, I shall adopt this muggle practice. When asked what she thought of this new tradition, Ms. Granger's eyes simply filled with tears of emotion as she expressed her happiness at the new levels of wizard and muggle integration that are being pursued in the wake of the war at her urging. After her parent's disappearance during the war, Ms. Granger has been especially emotional about muggle treatment (to read how this emotional trauma has affected her relationship with war hero and star keeper of the Chudley Cannons Ronald Weasley, turn to page 5).
So here is where I leave you dear readers. If you feel that muggles and wizards exist in two different sectors of the world and have no business intermingling then by all means, simply turn to page 9 to read about the Bavarian Quidditch seeker who was accused of sleeping with the opposing captains wife in an attempt to undermine his composure before their match (written by yours truly). However, if you realize that muggle/wizard unification is a serious matter and you wish to support all muggleborns in the wizarding community, then please join me as I embrace one of their most treasured traditions, the "Dear Skeeter" column.
Until then,
Rita Skeeter
Be sure to leave a question/comment/problem for Rita in a review so that I'll have something to write about in my next chapter. I really hope y'all read the authors notes because if you don't then y'all are going to be so confused with this fanfic. Thanks for reading.