Sexed Up by Robbie Williams
Loose lips sunk ships
I'm getting to grips with what you've said
No it's not in my head
I lay your bed
But I'm okay
Why don't we talk about it?
Why do you always doubt that there can be a better way?
It doesn't make me wanna stay
Chorus:
Why don't we break up?
There's nothing left to say
I've got my eyes shut
Praying they won't say
And we're not sexed up
That's what makes the difference today
I hope you blow away
You say we're fatally flawed
Well I'm easily bored, is that ok?
Write me off your list
Make this the last kiss, I'll walk away
Why don't we talk about it?
I'm only here don't shout it
Given time we'll forget
Let's pretend we never met
Chorus
Screw you, I didn't like your taste
Anyway, I chose you and that's all gone to waste
It's Saturday, I'll go out
And find another you
Why don't we
Why don't we break up?
There's nothing left to say
I've got my eyes shut
Praying they won't stray
And we're not sexed up
That's what makes the differences today
You can download the song here: h++p:// www . mediafire . com ? e4jbb2ghfrc
After Musashi had quit the team and high school, all that was left to him and his own desires were the nights with Hiruma.
Every night around 10pm, the blond would stand in front of his door, wearing an unreadable mask and his school uniform as if he was mocking him. They would glower at each other from the doorframe for a while, until Hiruma blew a bubble with his gum. That was the start off.
They didn't talk much, all that was heard from Musashi's room were grunts and moans and sometimes even a cry of pleasure from Hiruma.
It was all so dull.
Nothing like what it used to be before.
Slowly it was eating up Musashi from inside. As if he didn't have any other worries, with his father in hospital and the family's business about to break down. He would drag himself to work everyday, do his father's share of work and his own, eat a bit with his coworkers afterwards, just to come home to that blond hyena standing in front of his door.
Hiruma would never admit it, but he was clinging to Musashi. You couldn't explain it in any other way, even though he tried to tell himself that it was just the sex and he was too lazy to find somebody else to satisfy his needs. No matter how often he told himself not to go to the kicker's house, he found himself standing in front of his door. Sometimes he didn't even know what he did before that.
Luckily the other was able to read his desires – or maybe those were his own? – and soon they would find themselves in bed, on the floor, against the wall, on the couch, the kitchen counter, the bathtub or sometimes they didn't even get that far inside the room and did it on the step in the entry.
Their sex was hard and rough, it had always been like this because that was the way that Hiruma like it, but even he noticed that something was missing. Their movements were desperate, mechanical and even a little stiff, as if they were just following some secret script that was telling them to have wild sex.
It would have been hot, if it didn't feel so empty.
At first, he stayed over the night, cuddling up to Musashi on his futon, because he had missed him so damn much that day. But then one night, the other woke him up, because he was clinging so tightly onto him that he was almost suffocating him.
Terrified, he jumped up, threw on some clothes and practically fled without another word.
The following day he wondered why he had done that, why he would do something so ridiculous as clinging to somebody in his sleep. And to Musashi of all people! He had almost succeeded in convincing himself that he was just using the other, that he only needed his body and that the feelings he had were just shadows of the past.
In fact, he was so hurt by Musashi's dumb action that he had to go and see him every night, in a sick ritual that only served to punish himself, to numb the pain that he was feeling every time he was touching a football.
But he knew that he wasn't able to continue on like this. It was slowly destroying him and Musashi and if he still wanted to convince the other to rejoin the Devil Bats some time in the near future, he needed to take care that there would be no hard feelings between them. Not too many, anyways.
He never stayed over afterwards.
Musashi wondered why Hiruma had come over so early that Saturday his shift was over early. Usually he would come after 8pm, just like a vampire, no matter what day it was, but that day it wasn't even completely dark outside and he had already taken a shower.
Not knowing what to do else, since the blond had brought food from the convenience store for dinner, Musashi had prepared the bed for them, adding another blanket that could get dirty in whatever Hiruma had on his mind that day.
But somehow something felt… strange that day.
There wasn't that kind of tension between them that sizzled from pent up frustration, anger and all these negative emotions, but something darker, something that had been lurking in the shadows all the time. They both had just done a great job ignoring it. But now it was so eminent, that you couldn't ignore it anymore.
Musashi wondered what he should say to the blond now; they had never talked that much during the past few months. In fact, they had not even said another word than goodbye in the morning, if they did at all.
But Hiruma took that decision out of his hands.
"…Why don't we break up?" he said silently, not looking into his eyes though.
Musashi had expected these words, if he was honest to himself, deep in his mind. Still his heart ached as he heard these words. Years of practice though made it possible that he didn't make a face at all. All that he did was squeeze his eyes shut and exhale the smoke from his cigarette.
"…"
He could feel Hiruma's icy look at the back of his neck and knew that the demon was expecting an answer. But Musashi told himself that the blond was going to find out the answer by himself, because he always did.
"Screw you!" he finally cursed and threw the damp towel at the carpenter.
Musashi winced slightly, but still didn't say anything. Instead he smoked his cigarette as if Hiruma wasn't even there. Everything in him screamed to stop this façade, to tell Hiruma that he still loved him, that he didn't want to break up, that he didn't even want to leave the team. But he had had no fucking other choice and no matter how good the sex between them was – which it definitely wasn't since he quit school – he wasn't going to return to Deimon soon. And all this façade was killing him, so he was actually glad that Hiruma said they should break up. It meant he didn't have to do it himself.
Hiruma was furious. He was so angry with himself and Musashi that he wanted to kill somebody. Not just fire his guns at anybody random, but actually kill somebody with his own two hands, preferably Musashi.
How dare he not say anything? How dare he just sit there ignoring him as if he was just one of the clouds from his cigarette? It was bad enough that he had quit the team, but this… indifference towards him was killing him! Damn, he just wanted to kick something so hard that he broke his foot or something. Just anything that would justify the too hot tears in his eyes other than the pain he was feeling from the break-up.
Angrily he put his clothes back on, even though they reeked from practice earlier and he still smelled Musashi's shampoo on his own body. With vigor he packed his bag, grabbed it none-too-gently before he returned to the other, who still hadn't moved an inch.
For a moment he stood in the doorway and glowered down at the men sitting on the floor, before he threw his bag onto the floor and walked over to him. His eyes narrowed a little at the all-too-innocent look that was looking up at him, before he grabbed the front of Musashi's shirt and pulled him up a little and crashed his lips down on his.
He poured his entire heart into the kiss, every ounce of frustration and hope, everything that he felt towards Musashi, or at least he hoped the message came across. The usual effect didn't miss out to happen and he felt something stir in the pit of his stomach, his heart wrenching up and he was almost not able to breath anymore, especially when the other's strong hand came up around his neck.
Only then did he break away, eliciting a protesting sound from Musashi and he grinned. The tears in his eyes didn't burn as much as before even though he knew that the other could still see them.
"I'll see you around," he husked, knowing that it wouldn't miss its effect on the other either.
Hell, if he was going to leave Musashi he would make it as hard for him as possible!
So he just stood up again, took his bag again and just left, closing the door behind him without looking back once. He didn't care if he just heard Musashi's voice calling out to him, demanding him back, that they could talk about it, he just kept on walking.
It was Saturday after all.
There were so many people out there.
Enough people to distract him from Musashi.