Based off of Damien Rice's 'Delicate'. I do not own Glee.
We might kiss when we are alone,
When nobody's watching,
We might take it home,
We might make out when nobody's there,
It's not that we're scared,
It's just that it's delicate…
It all started with a kiss.
It wasn't sweet, it wasn't soft, and it wasn't perfect. It was hasty, it was rough, and it was as close to imperfect as could possibly be. It had only happened by the back of the Lima Bean while Kurt was waiting for Blaine when by coincidence they ended up alone together. At first, there was a lot of indignant snipes; mostly from Kurt. Sebastian just replied coolly, snapping back retorts with a smirk that just grew wider at every response the blue eyed boy gave. At first, there was uproar, but then in a moment of strange clarity, their lips touched; everything other than their ragged breathing becoming silent.
Thankfully, they broke away before Blaine came looking for Kurt, both a little shaken.
Three weeks later, and Kurt was lying contently in the crook of Sebastian's elbow, a soft smile on his face. Sebastian traced his milky white skin with the tips of his fingers; he liked it, the touch felt softer than the cotton sheets that were currently bunched up all around them. Sebastian didn't quite know why they were doing this. The first time it was a just a fluke. Momentary passion; which Sebastian knew all too well faded fast. He knew he enjoyed their rapport, even when sometimes the barbs they threw at each other stuck. But the boy was witty, and he liked it. To the average observer however, things remained very much the same, they battled each other with words just as fiercely as in the bedroom when they were alone. The outside world viewed them as enemies, and in a way they were- it was just different now. Before, Sebastian had his attentions focused on another much shorter brunette haired boy, but then a kiss occurred out of nowhere and his attentions had tangled with something much more unexpected, and a whole lot more nebulous.
Either way, sex was sex, so Sebastian was satisfied.
Things became a little stale after the slushie rock salt incident. Kurt wouldn't answer calls- not that Sebastian called him more than twice- he wouldn't dare. There was an unspoken rule between them: feelings would not come into play. Anything further than their world of bed sheets and dark rooms was scary and unknown.
Eventually, Kurt came back. He briefly mentioned someone named 'Chandler', someone who was apparently texting him- then Blaine found out. Kurt didn't really divulge much, but the less Kurt said the more Sebastian knew, he was good at filling in the gaps with the other boy for some reason. He was upset, and more than a little lost; maybe that's why he was off fucking some guy instead of his boyfriend. He could tell Kurt was troubled, so he teased him, aggravated him, whatever he could do to make Kurt's expression a little less absent and a little more alive. Even Kurt's clothes seemed to get duller by the day, though maybe that was Sebastian's mind going into overdrive; maybe he shouldn't be thinking too deeply about it. Like always, he forgot and moved on, fucked and didn't think. Things were easier that way. For both of them it seemed.
It continued to baffle Sebastian why they kept doing it. He wasn't particularly sure if he wanted to find the answer, but the question, the curiosity as to why this was happening, why Kurt Hummel kept coming back was beginning to plague him. Then one day it hit him. As his fingers skimmed along Kurt's ribs, they dipped further to trace along the ugly, puckered scars on Kurt's stomach. They were fading now, but they were permanent. Only now did Sebastian ask why they were there.
Kurt automatically brushed it off, a reflex it seemed. Sebastian he realized, however, was safe. He wouldn't worry too much, he wouldn't care enough. He looked at the other boy then, and they stared at each other, and without uttering a single word, Sebastian knew. And Sebastian knew why this thing between them refused to die.
Sebastian's face fell, and for the first time in a long time, Kurt cried.
Maybe they were both a little miserable with the world. Both a little lost. However many times they butted heads whenever one of them opened their mouths, they would always manage to find solace in the depths of Sebastian's bed, skin brushing skin, tentative smiles passing here and there. Sebastian's bedroom became kind of sacred for them.
But it was an elusive situation. At the end of the day, the one Kurt would be smiling at and cuddling next to wouldn't be Sebastian. The one Kurt would sing to, hold hands with and share coffee with, would not be him. Sebastian was the one he should not have been with; the tenuous situation they had landed themselves in was only temporary. Sebastian knew that.
It wasn't a dirty secret or anything, it was just… delicate.