Author's Note: this is my first Supergirl fic so bare with me. There isn't really a set ship involved but you can take from it what you will ;) This story should be about two to three chapters long but I don't think it'll go over that. It's only rated M just to be safe but I don't think it is really necessary.

okay, I hope you guys enjoy it. Thoughts, reviews and constructive criticism are all more than welcome :)

The cool wind rushes through my hair, tickling my lips and nose as I circle L-Corp for the fifth time, my mind a jumbled mess of thoughts. My life has been upside down ever since the invasion, taking so much and leaving me right back where I started, lost and alone. Mon-El may not have been the best choice but he kept my mind off of the other changes in my life and he knew what it was like to lose his family, his world. Best of all, he was fluent in my language as I was in his, both having been mandatory in our studies. Sometimes, when we would lay alone at night we would recount stories of our planets in the other's mother tongue just so we could hear them spoken again.

When he was sent away it felt like watching the last shred of krypton being sent off with him. Yes, I have Kal but he has to be in Metropolis with Lois and yes, I have Alex who I has learned to speak Kryptonian over the years but it doesn't sound quite the same and she has Maggie and the DEO. James has Cato and he and Winn have the guardian. I may have my reporting and Supergirl but Snapper isn't making my life any easier and seem to only be screwing up both since I can hardly think. Sometimes it feels as though I'm sinking under water and I can't find my way back up.

It seems like Lena is really the only one trying the hardest to be there, more likely out of her guilt than anything else, though I have reassured her numerous times that I do not blame her. I know she's trying but she has a company to run and it feels like I'm only getting in her way. The last thing I want is for her to put all of her hard work on hold because of something that was my choice to make. But she doesn't know that, does she? She doesn't know I'm the one that made that choice because she doesn't know who I am. Maybe that needs to change.

Barry contacted me late last night, asking for my help on his earth. I haven't told him anything about the invasion yet but I think it might be a good idea for me to leave for a while. Since he is unsure how long I will have to be gone J'onn will have to take over my duties. Playing the superhero is easy for him, even playing the reporter doesn't seem as hard for him as it is for me, but playing Lena's best friend would be impossible.

James suggested I just tell her I need time to gather my thoughts after sending Mon-El away but that would mean throwing that burden on her and I cannot do that. Alex said it was up to me what I decide and J'onn urged caution. At first I had decided that maybe James was right, it would be faster that way and easier than explaining everything. Then, when I got home from the DEO there was an envelope at my door with pictures of me changing into my Supergirl uniform and a note from Lilian Luthor saying she was going to get me out of Lena's life one way or another. That settled it.

I land on Lena's balcony as gently as possible, hoping to buy myself a few extra seconds to gather my thoughts but Lena is already turning around in her seat, a smile stretching a cross her lips. I wonder if she will still look at me with such admiration once she knows the truth.

"Miss Luthor," I greet as she opens the sliding door, gesturing for me to enter with one hand.

"Supergirl, what brings you by so early in the morning?" I have to check the clock

on her opened laptop from where I stand, silently cursing myself for being in such a hurry to get here.

9:00AM

A little eager, no, Danvers? I groan inwardly before pulling a tight smile, fists on my hips as I shrug.

"Sorry, I didn't realize just how early it was." she chuckles almost nervously as she slips back behind her desk. She never laughs like that with Kara Danvers, always so open and easy going. But with Supergirl she is always so different, fidgeting and nervous. She sees Supergirl the same way everyone else does; as a savior, a god among mankind, someone to be repaid for their protection.

My smile must falter when I get wrapped up in my thoughts because hers does the same, pausing halfway to her seat.

"What's wrong? What do you need my help with?" She stands straight, brow creased in concern. I turn from her, wringing my hands as I try to gather my jumbled thoughts. Maybe I don't have to tell her. Maybe I can tell her Kara is being sent away for work.

"Miss, Luthor?" Jess's voice appears over the line followed by a long pause.

"What is it, Jess?" Lena finally asks though I can still feel her watching me.

"Your mother's here. Should I let her in?" Using my x-Ray vision I can see Lilian standing right outside the door, impatiently checking her watch. I have to tell her. She may hate me but at least this way the truth will come from me and not that twisted woman.

I slip on my glasses, taking the hair-tie from around my wrist to pull my hair back before turning around, wringing my hands in front of me as I bite my bottom lip anxiously. Her green eyes widen, mouth agape as she stares at me.

"N-no, Jess. I'm busy right now. Tell her I'll get back with her later." I can hear Lilian growling something to the poor receptionist outside the office.

We both stay frozen in place, staring at each other without offering a response for what feels like an eternity until I simply can't hold back.

"I am so sorry, Lena. I've wanted to tell you for so long I just-" she holds up a hand to stop me, closing her eyes as she takes a deep breath.

"Kara..." She says it softly like she's testing it out. When her eyes open they're hazy with tears and I hate myself more than I ever have. "I should have seen it." If I didn't have super-hearing I may have missed her words.

"That makes sense." When she chokes out a humorless laugh my own tears fall. "Is that why you were always around?" I begin shaking my head, striding closer until the desk stops me. "You were watching me because of my name?"

"No! Of course that's not why." I begin moving around the desk with outstretched hands, stopping when I see her quickly step back. "Lena...I'm your friend. I've always been your friend."

"Are you? Then why didn't you ever tell me?" Her voice is rising now, anger clear in the twitch of her mouth though I can still the pain in her eyes. "Why did you lie to me for long?"

"I didn't want to! I just-I just didn't know how to tell you! I didn't know how you would take it!" She shakes her head in disbelief, pointing to the open window.

"Get out." I don't move. "Get out, Kara!" She finally yells, exasperated.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She turns away from me, arms wrapping around herself.

"I know..." She doesn't sound angry anymore just...hurt and broken. "But I can't deal with this today."

"I'm going away for a while on a...mission. I don't know when I'll be back and...you won't be able to contact me." I shift from foot to foot as I wait for a response of some kind.

"Maybe it'll be better that way." My heart sinks, hands itching to reach out to her. "It'll give me time to...wrap my head around this. I'm sorry if...I ever gave you a reason not to trust me." Her voice trails off and I can see her shoulders shake in a quite sob.

"I've always trusted you..." I breathe, physically forcing myself in place. "I am your friend." I begin stepping to the window when I hear Jess telling someone not to come in. I know it's Lilian, I had never heard her leave and I know I have to find some way to prove my honesty or risk losing my best friend before I even come home.

"I-" The words stay stuck in my throat. I try to spit them out but they won't come. I love her, I know I do. I've never really said it because it has always seemed so unnecessary, still, now I know she needs to hear it. She needs to know someone loves her, someone who would literally move mountains to save her. Someone who, unlike her so-called mother, would never use Lena's affection against her.

I love you, Lena Luthor. I think the words but never say them, silently wishing my sincerity would bleed through my lips. Then I'm gone before she turns around, before she responds, before Lilian comes bursting through the door with Jess on her heels. Then it's too late; too late to act, too late to speak, too late to say what I need in order to keep my friend. My darling Lena.