Chapter One – The Sneeze That Ended My Life

Dear Diary

No, scratch that. "Dear Diary" doesn't really sound like a good way to start this. Due to this, I shall name you Steve, and you shall be my ever-so-useful source of venting my anger and recording what happens in my day.

So, Dear Steve,

It was my first day of my fourth year of Hogwarts. Platform 9 ¾ was packed, but that was nothing out of the ordinary. It had been for the past three years I'd come to Hogwarts. Yes, Hogwarts - a pathetically stupid school where everyone and everything in it was…also pathetically stupid. Except me, of course.

The platform was crowded with Hogwarts students – a mixture of purebloods, half-breeds and…mudbloods. Yes, that's right; Hogwarts is a school that just lets in any old filth, regardless of their blood status. They'll be begging Muggles to come in next! It's disgraceful. The other three Hogwarts should've gone with Salazar Slytherin's opinion to make Hogwarts a school for purebloods only. I can not believe that, just because of my hate for Mudbloods, Harry Potter and his group of little cronies thought I was the heir of Slytherin! It's absurd. But then, Harry Potter is a low-life, conceited nutter. Everyone thinks he's so cool. He's literally the crowned jewel of Hogwarts. He was a nobody in the Muggle world. Add a lightning-bolt-shaped scar and a Hogwarts castle and he becomes one of the most famous wizards that ever lived. Believe me, if I had a lightning-bolt-shaped scar on my forehead, I'd probably be famous too. Just you watch, this year is going to be my year! As soon as I get off the Hogwarts Express, my reign as King Draco Malfoy the 1st will begin.

Anyway, It was hard to think about hating anyone, let alone Harry bloody Potter, when my mother was smothering me in a hug so tight she was about to cut off my blood circulation. I pulled out of her grasp and went to say goodbye to father.

"Make sure you stay away from those Greengrasses. And that Mudblood, Granger. And for Merlin's sake, Draco, try and beat her in at least one subject." Charming. Other parents were crying at the sight of their children leaving. Not mine, evidently.

"Don't worry, father," I scanned the crowd for Granger, eventually locating her head of frizzy brown hair, "You wont be disappointed." I replied, and then got onto the train.

For the past three years, I'd sat in the same compartment on the Hogwarts Express, and this year was no different. However, there were a couple of extra passengers in our compartment this year.

"What are you doing here, peasant?" I ordered as I closed the compartment door. Daphne Greengrass was sat next to my friends. Well, what I shared with Vincent Crabbe, Gregory Goyle and Pansy Parkinson was not friendship. More like a…acquaintanceship.

"I could say the same about you, Malfoy." She retaliated.

"You see, Greengrass, that's just where you're wrong. I'm not a peasant. On the other hand, you are, ever since your clueless father lost his job at the Ministry of Magic, you and your family have been bankrupt. How's your money-less summer been then?" I smirked. Revenge felt so good.

She was wise enough to shut her mouth. I went and sat next to Goyle and noticed a younger-looking girl sat across from me, staring out of the window even though the train hadn't even gone anywhere.

"Who are you?" I said. She turned her attention to me and her eyebrows shot up, disappearing behind her fringe of brown hair. It wasn't like I said it in a particularly rude manner; she just took it the wrong way.

"Excuse me?" She demanded. Daphne looked from me to her.

"Honestly, Malfoy, you're such an ignorant git at times. I thought you knew her, she's my sister, Astoria. She's in her third year for crying out loud." Daphne explained.

"Sister?" I glared at Daphne, and then looked back at Astoria. Great – there were two of them.

"Yes, sister. Have you never heard of the word or something?" Daphne said.

"God, you are as conceited and vain as Daphne tells me!" Astoria scoffed.

"Oh, so you've been talking about me all summer, then? Did you miss me or something?"

"In your dreams, Malfoy." She spat.

"More like my nightmares, Greengrass. What's got your wand in a knot, then?" I grinned.

"You." She said bitterly. What had I done to her? The year hadn't even begun yet! The train had only just set off for Hogwarts about twenty seconds ago.

"So you have been thinking of me?" I tried to hold in my laughter watching her nostrils flare and her lip tremble with anger. She didn't reply, but simply sighed in exasperation.

Astoria didn't seem as annoyed, but she stared at me in a way which could have meant more than one thing. From afar her eyes looked plain and boring – like her sisters'. But now that I was closer to her, I noticed her eyes were dark blue, a sort of indigo colour. Her brown hair was shoulder length and completely straight. She was sort of what you could call beautiful…nothing like Daphne, who was annoying, maddening, irritating, infuriating, frustrating and simply a pain in the backside.

I sighed and turned to Crabbe and Goyle to break the awkward silence that was filling the compartment. "So what've you two been up to this summer?"

Both of them gave grunts in reply. I turned to Pansy out of sheer desperation. "Anything interesting?"

"Oh, plenty. First my parents took me…" I zoned out then. I regretted asking her. Ten minutes later, she was still talking. Was it not plain obvious to her that no one gave a rats arse what she'd been doing all summer? Well, at least I didn't.

"Back in a minute." I shoved open the compartment door and ran slap-bang into Weasley and…Potter.

"Watch where you're going, Weasel Bee. Oh and Potter, try not to petrify anyone with that ugly face of yours." I smirked at them, watching Scarhead trying to think of a comeback. He didn't have to. Ron gasped in mock horror and pretended to look out of one of the train windows.

"Look out, Malfoy! I think I see Buckbeak up there! Please, make sure he really does kill you this time. You'll be doing the whole of mankind a favour."

"You'd better watch what you say, Weasley. You too, Potter."

"Shove off, Malfoy." Scarhead spat out my name like it was venomous and dragged Ron off in the opposite direction. I simply turned around and went back into my compartment, feeling much better now that I'd annoyed Potty and the Weasel a little. Now I just had Granger to annoy and all would be alright in the world.

My bubble of happiness burst as soon as soon as I walked back in. I saw that, in the five minutes I'd been outside, Crabbe had fallen into a very deep sleep. After another ten minutes of silence, I was extremely bored and decided to give my old pal a makeover using nothing but my quill and some ink. I am bad-ass!

I gave Crabbe a thin handlebar moustache and beard and drew a large circle around his left eye which made him look like he'd been in a fight…and lost. I leant over him to apply the finishing touches of my masterpiece, when suddenly the train jolted and…and I did the most embarrassing thing I had done for a long time. I fell, slap-bang, into Vincent Crabbe's lap for the whole world to see! Well…there were four other people watching us, but still. Oh, the mortification. I felt like crying!

Then it got worse. Crabbe sneezed and woke himself up. Yes, he sneezed in his sleep! Was that even possible, to sneeze in your sleep? And now I was covered in Crabbe saliva.

"Unguhh!" Crabbe said as he woke up. "Malfoy what are you doing?" But I completely ignored him.

"EURGH! I'M COVERED IN CRABBE SALIVA! NOT TO MENTION SNOT!" I yelled, wiping my face with the back of my hand.

"What are you on about?"

"You sneezed on me! In your sleep! HOW COULD YOU SNEEZE ON SOMEONE IN YOUR SLEEP?"

Crabbe looked lost. Pansy, Astoria, Goyle and Daphne were all gasping for breath laughing. I felt like punching every single one of them in the face. I didn't. Goyle was a big guy – one hit could've sent me flying. And as for the rest of them, they were girls, so I couldn't exactly do anything to them. So instead, I stormed out of the compartment and went and sat with…Millicent Bulstrode. Bloody hell; how depressing had my life become?

Dear Steve,

I didn't see Crabbe, Goyle, Pansy, Daphne or Astoria till I was inside Hogwarts. But it was odd – normally when I walk through the corridors of Hogwarts, the whole student body isn't cracking up laughing and wiggling their fingers in my direction. I turned the corner into the dungeon corridor and saw a bunch of Slytherins laughing about something on the wall. I shoved them out of the way and saw.

Wow.

DRACO MALFOY AND VINCENT CRABBE – SOMETHING MORE THAN FRIENDSHIP?

The picture was the worst. Underneath the huge, bold title was a picture of me and Crabbe when we had that little Fall-Sneeze incident on the train.

"What? What the hell is this?" I tore the huge poster down from the wall and scrunched it up.

"Don't bother, Malfoy! They're around the whole school!" Someone shouted.

That hurt. Do you know how big Hogwarts is? Well, if not, it's huge.

My blood boiled. I knew exactly who was behind this.

Daphne sodding Greengrass and her stupid little sister. And believe me – I was going to get revenge…REVENGE, I SAY!