Just Be A Queen, a twilight fanfic

Hello *waves*

I wrote this one shot as a special surprise for Nicci's birthday because I love her and she is amazing. We're two mushy peas in a pod and I have a bit of a crush on her. Shh. ;)

Nicci has told me I must post this now and she is off making a banner for our beloved Dward... What does the D stand for, you're wondering? Well, you're about to find out...

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but I'm working on making Nicci mine ;) 3

~Just Be A Queen~

I don't know why I had agreed to this. It didn't seem like such a big deal five minutes ago, but that was before Jasper had handed me the costume I was expected to wear. He owed me for this, that's for sure. I need some liquid courage and he's buying.

"Are you ready?" Jasper asked, trying to keep his face straight.

"No, not until you get me enough Jack Daniels to make me forget what I'm about to do." I told him, frowning at my reflection.

"Don't forget the shoes." He called to me on his way out of the door. I knew the bastard was laughing, even if I couldn't see him anymore.

"Takes the fucking piss." I grumbled, running a hand through my hair.

The door crashed into the wall as Emmett tumbled through it.

"Dude! That is fucking comedy. I think it suits you." He guffawed, pounding his fist on the wall and pointing at me.

"Shut up or you can do it." I growled, glaring at him. After a few seconds he sobered up, clearly realising that Jasper wouldn't hesitate to make him.

"Don't even go there." His expression fearful, as though he was imagining the situation.

I sat down in the chair and picked up the heels that Jasper had left out, shoving them onto my poor feet. I pushed myself out of the chair, testing out the shoes. I wobbled precariously, grabbing onto the wall for support.

"How the fuck can girls wear these? They're like giant death traps."

"Man up, bro. Besides, they make your legs look good." Emmett doubled over laughing, clearly finding himself amusing.

"Some friend you are." I huffed, tugging on the short, tight black dress I had somehow forced myself into. The hemline crept a few centimetres higher with each step I took.

"Don't you need lipstick or some shit like that?"

"That would definitely be taking it too far."

Jasper slipped back into the room, a bottle of amber liquid in one hand and three glasses in the other. He set them all down on the parcel shelf before plucking a brown ball of fuzz from under his arm.

"I nearly forgot to give you this." He told me, his face perfectly serious.

"What the hell is that?" I demanded, refusing to take it from him.

"Dude, that looks like a dead poodle. It's not... right?" Emmett asked, eyeing Jasper warily. When he got no response, he took a step back, edging closer to the door.

"Dude, not cool." Emmett declared, his face scrunched up in disgust. Jasper simply threw a sarcastic look his way.

"Seriously? You think I'd kill a poodle and ask Edward to stick it on his head? I worry about you, Emmett. Something's not quite right in that head of yours."

"He was in the wrong room when they were dishing out the common sense." I quipped and Emmett's brow furrowed in confusion, trying to work it out, while Jasper laughed, throwing the fuzz at me.

I caught it, dangling it between my finger and thumb while I scrutinised it.

"It's a wig." He told me, rolling his eyes.

"You sure 'bout that? I think Em may be onto something." I didn't wait for him to reply, instead reaching up to secure the wig onto my head, trying to straighten it as best I could without looking in the mirror.

"That's unsettlingly convincing." Jasper informed me, with a sombre shake of his head.

I returned to the mirror, absorbing my appearance, trying to view it objectively. I wasn't sure whether to be proud or thoroughly horrified when I realised Jasper had a point. I sighed, giving myself a mental pep talk.

Turning, I walked purposefully towards the parcel shelf, eyeing the alcohol hungrily. I sloshed a generous amount of whisky into the glass, tipping it down my throat and relishing the burn. I momentarily debated gulping down another glass full, but decided that was probably a bad idea. I had to at least appear perfectly sober for this performance.

"You're up, E." Jasper was behind me, patting my shoulder in a sign of support.

"I don't really know what is considered appropriate behaviour in this situation..." Emmett trailed off, shrugging.

"Me neither... I'll see you on the other side. If I make it." I put on a brave face and pulled on my big boy pants. Metaphorically, not physically.

Jasper trailed out of the staff locker room behind me, ready to introduce me to the audience. At the edge of the make-shift stage in the bar, I waited while he approached the microphone, smiling at the crowd and encouraging the cheers.

"Ladies and gentlemen, tonight we have a special treat for you all. It's a special occasion and to help celebrate in style, I'm going to introduce you to our guest performer. For one night only, I'd like you all to welcome Edward to the stage!"

What? I didn't even get a stage name? Now everybody would know it was me. Okay, I'm sure that was obvious anyway. This was going to be embarrassing.

I walked gingerly onto the stage to a frightening amount of applause and cat calls. Jasper smiled, retreating, so that he could start the music.

"Good evening everybody!" I called out, holding a hand up to wave at my audience. Why were there so many people? I gulped as they cheered. "As Jasper told you, it is a special occasion. Today, we're celebrating a certain someone's birthday!"

The noise level in the bar was deafening. There was a group in the corner who were squealing and pointing to one of their friends, who looked mildly bewildered, but mostly just excited. She looked to her friends, wanting verbal confirmation, but none of them were giving it.

"This one is for you, Nicci!" I called, winking at her.

Jasper hit the music, turning it up to be heard over the audience. People pulsed forwards, moving from their tables and the bar to crowd infront of me.

The intro lasted only a couple of seconds, meaning I had to be prepared. I sucked in a deep breath an began singing.

It doesn't matter if you love him or capital H-I-M

Just put your paws up

'Cause you were born this way, baby.

My mama told me when I was young

We are all born superstars

She rolled my hair and put my lipstick on

In the glass of her boudoir

I started to dance, trying to avoid making eye contact with anyone in the crowd, instead focusing on a spot above their heads on the other side of the room. It was difficult to move in the heels, but I mostly bumped my hips from side to side, holding the mic with my right hand.

All of the women in the bar, and even some of the men, were singing along with me, their voices loud. There was a sea of thrumming bodies, moving to the beat, hands in the air. Nicci had been pushed to the front by her friends, who flanked her sides, dancing and singing with her.

I caught her eye, sending another wink her way without distracting myself from the lyrics.

There's nothing wrong with loving who you are

She said, 'cause He made you perfect, babe

So hold your head up girl and you'll go far

Listen to me when I say

I'm beautiful in my way

'Cause God makes no mistakes

I'm on the right track, baby

I was born this way

Don't hide yourself in regret

Just love yourself and you're set

I'm on the right track, baby

I was born this way, born this way

My head was nodding in time with the beat and I felt myself getting more and more absorbed in my performance, enjoying the crowd's reaction and enthusiasm.

I took the microphone from it's stand, still singing the chorus while sauntering to the front of the stage, my hips swaying. I crouched down, leaning forward to talk to the birthday girl.

"How do you feel about joining me up here?" I asked her, with a single eyebrow raised, while reaching out a hand to her. She slipped her hand into mine and I helped her clamber relatively gracefully onto the stage.

Ooh, there ain't no other way, baby, I was born this way

Baby, I was born this way

Ooh, there ain't no other way, baby, I was born this way

I'm on the right track, baby, I was born this way

Pictures and videos were being taken as I danced with Nicci, singing the lyrics with her. I slid a hand down my body, smirking at the crowd in front of us and enjoying myself more than I thought I would. I'm sure I would regret it if these videos made an appearance on Youtube, but until then, I was happy.

Don't be a drag, just be a queen

I belted out these particularly relevant lines while strutting to the front of the stage, emphasising my movements and tossing my hair. Well, it wasn't technically mine, but that's not important.

Give yourself prudence and love your friends

Subway kid, rejoice of truth

In the religion of the insecure

I must be myself, respect my youth

A different lover is no a sin

Believe capital H-I-M

I love my life, I love this record and

Mi amore vole fe yah

I'm beautiful in my way

'Cause God makes no mistakes

I'm on the right track, baby

I was born this way

Don't hide yourself in regret

Just love yourself and you're set

I'm on the right track, baby

I was born this way

Ooh, there ain't no other way, baby, I was born this way

Baby, I was born this way

Ooh, there ain't no other way, baby, I was born this way

I'm on the right track, baby, I was born this way

I ran a hand through the wig, fluffing it up as I climbed off the stage, skirting the edge of the crowd, with one hand in the air as I wriggled my shoulders.

Don't be a drag, just be a queen

Whether you're broke or evergreen

You're black, white, beige, Chola decent

You're Lebanese you're orient.

As I was passing the various punters, I caught the eye of a beautiful brunette, her wavy hair cascading over her shoulders. She wore a form fitting black skirt and an electric blue tank top with a column of three buttons at the top, leading through the centre of her cleavage.

Whether life's disabilities

left you outcast, bullied or teased

Rejoice and love yourself today

'Cause, baby, you were born this way

No matter gay, straight or bi

Lesbian, transgendered life

I'm on the right track, baby

I was born to survive

She watched me approach and I reached out a hand, setting it on her hip as I sang, encouraging her. She lifted her arms to my shoulders, a breathtaking smile on her face. She circled her hips, her whole body shifting with the movement.

I challenged her with my eyes as I finished the verse and although she looked nervous, she nodded. I held the microphone out to her for the next verse and she belted out the lyrics, word for word, surprising me with her voice, perfectly in tune.

No matter black, white or beige

Chola or orient made

I'm on the right track, baby

I was born to be brave

I nodded my head, encouraging her to continue and she gave me a pointed look before leaning into my ear.

"You too." She whispered, her breath warming and tickling my skin. I shuddered, agreeing to her demand.

I'm beautiful in my way

'Cause God makes no mistakes

I'm on the right track, baby

I was born this way

I pulled away with a smirk and a wink, continuing my path around the dancing bodies. I looked to the stage, seeing Nicci had been joined by several of her friends and they were now grinding against each other, laughing and looking incredibly sexy. They sure knew what they were doing.

Don't hide yourself in regret

Just love yourself and you're set

I'm on the right track, baby

I was born this way, yeah

Making my way back to the stage, I hopped up onto it, sauntering over to Nicci while trying to ignore how much my feet were already screaming from the short stint in heels. Girls were definitely crazy. I handed Nicci the microphone, smiling at her determined expression.

I turned back to the audience, a hand on my hip and the other sliding up the side of my body as the girls sang the final verses. I mimed the words in time with them, over exaggerating it as I sought out the eyes of the brunette.

Ooh, there ain't no other way, baby, I was born this way

Baby, I was born this way

Ooh, there ain't no other way, baby, I was born this way

I'm on the right track, baby, I was born this way

I was born this way, hey

I'm on the right track, baby, I was born this way, hey

I swivelled my hips, bending my knees as I lowered towards the ground before raising myself up once more.

I was born this way, hey

I'm on the right track, baby, I was born this way, hey

I finished with my head tilted down, my left side angled forwards, with my knees slightly bent, holding the pose until squeals and cheers erupted in the bar, practically deafening me.

I straightened up, a sheepish smile on my face as I caught sight of Jasper at the side of the stage, cracking up as he clapped, shaking his head in amusement.

"Nice pants." A voice whispered in my ear and I turned to find Nicci holding in her laughter, most likely at my expression. I quickly moved to tug the dress down to cover the exposed underwear on my ass.

"Shit." I grumbled with a laugh.

"I wouldn't have thought frilly knickers were your style." She teased and I think I may have blushed. Only a little.

"Jasper insisted. According to him, they were necessary if I wanted to play the part right." I sighed, rolling my eyes.

"They were definitely necessary." She nodded, giggling before her friends tugged her away to the bar. I waved to her retreating form.

"Happy birthday!" I called after her with a smile and she grinned.

I slipped off the stage, walking over to Jasper.

"Dude, that was legendary." He chuckled, slapping me on the back and leading me back to the staff room.

"Thank you. I decided if I was going out there looking like this, I may as well make it worth it." I told him, shaking my foot until the shoe dropped onto the floor with a thud. I did the same with the other foot, relieved to be on steady ground again.

I crossed the room to the parcel shelf, picking up the discarded bottle of Jack and pouring some into a glass. I slammed it back, enjoying the burn of the amber liquid and the buzz of alcohol in my system.

"Where's Emmett?" I questioned, knowing sooner or later he would turn up to rib me for the performance.

"He's serving on the bar. Leah took her break."

I nodded in acknowledgement, snatching up my clothes and going into the toilets to change. I continued to talk to Jasper through the door.

"I reckon you could make a career out of the drag queen business."

"Although you may be right, I don't intend to. I prefer to walk around dressed as a man, thank you."

I pulled my black polo shirt over my head, tugging it down. I scrunched my face up at the frilly pink knickers, dangling them off the tip of my finger before allowing them to drop to the floor.

"I can see where you're coming from with that. The crowd loved you though." He reasoned.

"I felt like Justin Bieber with the group of screaming girls. The only difference is, they're legal. Most of his fans are teenage girls with delusions about their relationship with him." I shuddered, thankful that I didn't have minors chasing me around, declaring their love for me. One performance in this bar was as much as I was going to do.

"If you were Justin Bieber, we wouldn't be friends right now." Jasper assured me and I chuckled, pulling my jeans on over my boxers.

"I wouldn't blame you." I pulled off the wig as I pulled open the door, the clothes bundled in my arms. I dumped them onto the nearest chair, hunting down my shoes.

I pulled out the socks that were tucked inside them, sliding them onto my feet before slipping my feet into my shoes and lacing them up.

"The birthday crowd seemed happy." Jasper commented.

"Good. They seemed nice. I would have cried like a girl if they were a bunch of skanks, and that, my friend, is no lie." Jasper shook his head, a smile appearing on his lips at my completely serious tone of voice.

"To tell you the truth, that would have been funny."

"For you, maybe. For me... not so much." He shrugged, smirking. Bastard. I flipped him off, only causing him to laugh.

"Come on, let's go to the bar." He held the door for me.

"But I have all the whisky I need here." I argued.

"Yes, but I don't want to be stuck in here with your stubborn ass all night." He shot back, tilting his head towards the door, telling me without words to get out of the staff room. With a defeated sigh, I walked past him, glaring for good measure.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but there's a hot brunette out there that might make you move a little bit faster."

I smiled, remembering her. How had I forgotten? I made a beeline for the bar, ignoring Emmett's shit-eating grin as I approached.

"Dude, is that you? I didn't recognise you without the dress on." He teased, laughing loudly at himself. I rolled my eyes. Sometimes, my friend could be a total fool.

"Save it, Emmett. I saw you checking out my ass." I retorted and his expression contorted into a mixture of horror and disgust.

"No way, man, that's just wrong." He shook his head, as though trying to dispel the images from his mind. I internally fist pumped, knowing that would have shut him up.

"Are you going to get me a drink, or what?" I questioned, pulling him out of his frozen state.

"What do you want? It's on the house." He grinned and I raised an eyebrow.

"Gee, thanks Emmett. A free drink in my own bar, how generous." My tone was dripping with sarcasm and it only served to widen Emmett's grin.

"Our bar, Edward. You couldn't run this place without us."

"You know what I meant."

"Sometimes I get the feeling you don't appreciate us." He whined dramatically, clutching a hand over his heart.

"You're definitely the more feminine one." I told him.

"That was a low blow, dude."

"But so true." I grinned smugly as Emmett silently turned to get me a beer.

"You didn't want a Cosmo, did you?" I took a gulp of the beer Emmett set down in front of me, narrowing my eyes at him.

"I knew I should have made you do the drag." I grumbled and his expression turned sombre.

"Thank you for taking one for the team, Edward. I appreciate it."

He walked off to serve another customer, but I wasn't alone long. The brunette shuffled onto the bar stool next to me, trying to get comfortable.

"It's Edward, right?" She asked, angling her body towards mine.

"Yes, Edward Cullen."

"Hi, I'm Bella." She held out her hand and I shook it, enjoying the warmth of her small fingers as they wrapped around mine.

"It's very nice to meet you, Bella. Would you like a drink?"

"Same to you, Edward and I'd love a drink, thank you. A vodka and coke, please."

I called Emmett over to us from his place at the other end of the bar.

"Have you finished your drink already?" He asked.

"No, not yet. Could we get a vodka and coke please." I requested and he nodded, noticing Bella beside me.

"Hey, I'm Emmett." He boomed, much louder than was necessary.

"Bella." She answered with a smile.

"Look after Edward tonight, he's had a traumatic experience, making him question his masculinity." Emmett instructed sincerely.

"I will do Emmett, don't worry." He passed her the drink and she thanked him, taking a sip through the straw.

"I take it that was your first time in drag then?" She questioned, placing her drink on the bar and licking her lips.

"Yes, it was, and hopefully the last, too."

"You looked like you were enjoying yourself." She commented, raising an eyebrow.

"I guess I was, yes, but I don't think Emmett and Jasper will ever let me live that down, never mind all the video footage. It might not be as funny when I'm sober."

"I see what you mean. You're not... errm... you know." She bit her lip, a light blush colouring her cheeks as she looked down, drawing a pattern on the bar with her finger.

I ducked my head, trying to catch her eye.

"I'm not what?" I asked, not understanding her apparent embarrassment.

"Gay?" I choked on the sip of beer I'd just taken.

"What?" I spluttered, coughing and gasping for breath.

"Shit, I'm sorry." She apologised, her cheeks reddening further. "That was so rude of me. Ignore me, please, I'm sorry."

"No, it's fine. I'm not gay." I told her, swiping the back of my hand across my mouth.

"You're not?" She sounded surprised and I didn't know whether that should offend me.

"You think I am?"

"No, not really. Well, I hoped not, but I have terrible judgement. It's just with the whole Lady Gaga performance, I wanted to be sure. I'm digging a hole, aren't I? Please stop me rambling." She banged her head against the bar, groaning. "I really am sorry." She repeated quietly before lifting her head.

"You hoped I wasn't gay?" I watched her expression change to one of determination as she met my gaze.

"Yes." She lifted the straw to her lips, taking a long draw and swallowing.

"Why?" She set the glass down, never taking her eyes from mine.

"Because then I wouldn't have been able to do this." She leant forward, tangling her fingers in the hair at the base of my neck and bringing her soft lips to mine. The kiss was hungry and passionate and I responded immediately, moulding my lips to hers.

I pulled Bella's stool closer, gripping her hips with my hands and moaning as her tongue ran across my bottom lip, tasting. She shifted to the edge of her seat, bringing her body nearer to mine. Her other hand was fisted in my polo shirt, clinging to me and her tongue met mine in a fierce battle for dominance.

Untangling her hand from my shirt and pulling away, I slid off the stool, pulling on her hand when her face showed her confusion.

"Come with me."

Bella allowed me to tug her down the corridor and through the door to the locker room, my fingers tight against hers, worried that she might pull away.

I locked the door, pushing her up against it and attacking her lips with mine. She lifted her leg, wrapping it around my waist and holding my body against hers. I knew she could feel my erection pressing against her stomach as she arched into me.

"Your ass looked so hot in that dress." She mumbled against my lips, grazing her fingers down my chest. She yanked my shirt up when she reached the hem, pulling over my head and discarding it on the floor.

Her fingers trailed over my muscles, exploring. Her mouth moved to my neck, sucking and nipping at the skin, swirling her tongue over it. I groaned, pressing my hips into her further as I exposed more of my neck, tilting my head back.

She reached for my belt, undoing it blindly and eagerly moving to unbutton my jeans. She unlatched her leg from my waist and pushed me backwards, pulling at her own top to free it from her skirt and lift it over her head.

I licked my lips, taking in the sight of the black lace bra covering her breasts. I could see her pebbled nipples through the thin material, barely noticing as she reached behind her to unzip her skirt, allowing it to fall to floor, exposing her matching underwear.

"Fuck, you're so sexy." I growled, reaching for her, but she stepped out of my reach, swaying her hips as she walked over to the parcel shelf.

I watched, mesmerised, as she climbed onto it, sitting with her legs crossed, a coy smile on her swollen lips. I wanted to kiss her. Fuck, I wanted to do more than that. She beckoned me forward with a curling finger, her eyes dark with lust. My body took a moment to catch up with my brain, but I was soon stalking across the space between us, settling myself between her legs as I pushed them apart. I pressed my mouth against hers, kissing and nipping.

I kicked off my shoes while I cupped her breast, rolling a covered nipple between my fingers, teasing and tweaking, eliciting a loud moan from Bella. Her head was tilted back, her long brown hair tickling the shelf below her.

Using my free hand to remove my jeans, I pushed them to the side, pressing my erection into Bella's core, which, thanks to the shelf, was now at the perfect height. She gasped, jerking her hips forwards, seeking friction. My stomach knotted in pleasure as I rocked against her.

I lowered my head, kissing a soft trail over her creamy white skin. She arched her back, pushing her breasts forwards, and I took this as an invitation to capture her nipple with my teeth, biting it gently before sucking, circling it through the lace with my tongue. Her head tossed from side to side, her bottom lip was caught by her teeth as she held in her whimpers.

My fingers dug into the soft flesh of her hips, no doubt leaving bruises, but that thrilled me more than I should admit. I wanted to mark her, claim her as mine. This animalistic side to me was new, brought out by the beautiful creature splayed out before me, making noises that shouldn't be legal.

I turned my attention to her other breast, biting and sucking at the flesh, teasing and tasting as her body writhed, seeking more. I bucked my hips against her, letting out a strangled cry at the sensation, my grip on her tightening, pulling her closer. Bella's legs hung over the edge of the shelf, her heels still on her feet. She looked far too sexy, clad only in her underwear and black platform high heels, a blush on her otherwise flawlessly pale skin.

"More... Now, please." She gasped, her chest heaving as she drew in ragged breaths.

I teased the skin above her knickers, dragging my nails over it and occasionally dipping a finger below the elastic. Bella lifted her hips, her body pleading with me to remove the barrier as she watched my face through hooded, lust-filled eyes.

She wrapped a hand behind my neck, bringing my face to hers so our cheeks were pressed together, her warm breath fanning over my heated skin.

"Just fuck me already." She breathed, her voice husky. She sucked my ear lobe into her mouth, nipping, before pulling away. I swallowed, unable to control my reaction to her any longer.

"Such a dirty mouth." I groaned, dragging the lacy underwear over her hips and down her smooth, slender legs. I left her shoes on, easing the material over them, then flicking it to the side.

"If you don't hurry up and fuck me, I'll tell you just what I'm going to do with my dirty mouth." She snarled, running the heel of her palm over the obvious bulge in my boxer shorts.

"That sounds like a tempting offer."

She leaned back, resting on her forearms, with her chest pushed forwards. I made quick work of removing my underwear, stepping forward to line myself up with her entrance.

"Hard and fast." She demanded, her eyes steady on mine as I thrust forward, entering her in one swift motion. She was warm and tight around my cock, her juices coating me. I clenched my teeth, hissing at the sensation of her surrounding me.

Her leg hooked behind my thigh, jerking me forward, my palms crashing onto the shelf to stop me from falling onto her. She rocked her hips forwards and I pulled back, pounding back into her, a breathless cry leaving her lips. She clenched around me and my fingers clawed at the wood, trying to hold myself together.

My head dropped, focusing on her stomach as I thrust forwards and backwards, in and out. I realised my mistake as I caught sight of my cock buried inside her slick folds, withdrawing and entering. It was so erotic, so hot, that I nearly came right then and there. My body convulsed in my effort to hold out. I brought my fingers to her clit, pinching and circling the sensitive nub, causing her hips to buck, hungry for the sensation.

Bella was thrashing and writhing, gasping and moaning, sweat trailing and dripping. Her lips were parted, her eyes closed. She lifted a hand, clawing at my back, her nails scraping, her body shuddering.

"Oh Edward... shit, yes." She mumbled, coming undone beneath me with a stream of illiterate murmurs and moans.

My face buried in her chest as I thrust once, twice, thee times more, releasing the built up tension in me as my orgasm thundered, unrelenting, through my body, a shudder rocking through every part of me as I came hard, the relief I felt completely indescribable.

Our breaths were heavy and ragged, our skin gleaming with a layer of sweat, evidence of our exertion. I slipped out of her and she whimpered, her other leg wrapping around my thigh as she held me in place, raising herself up and tangling her fingers into my damp hair.

She leant her forehead against mine, our eyes locked. Her tongue brushed against my lip as she licked her own.

"Fuck, that was hot." She rasped, her body feeling perfect moulded to mine. Her lips met mine in a chaste kiss as she tugged at my hair.

"That was only the beginning. You can't imagine all the things I want to do to you." I growled, my fingers dusting over her sides.

"Then stop talking and show me." She smirked.

I didn't hesitate to accept the challenge burning in her dark brown eyes, lips crashing, limbs tangling and fingers exploring. Over and over again.

Author's Note:

So that was it, our beautiful Dragward dropping by to get this party started. If you don't show him the love, he might not show his pretty little face again. Just sayin'.

I hope you enjoyed it and don't forget to wish EdwardsLove82 / Nicci / Nicci Mazen a very happy, if not belated, birthday, because she's worth it ;)

"Is your name Jacob? Because you're a cracker!" I'm sorry, I couldn't resist just one cheeky chat up line.

Thank you ladies and gents,

Callie xox