A/N: Beta-less again. I tried to proof it as much as possible, but I discovered a definite limit to how many times I could read this, which turned out to be three. I apologize for any mistakes I missed! :-*
Where is my Kevlar?
Sookie's POV:
It had been over a month since I had had a good night's sleep. A tiring, disheartening month where haphazard piles of toiletries, empty metal M16 magazines, and half-full sea bags littered my once white and clean living room. Tonight I was sporting a pair of girlish blonde braids, a pink jersey sundress, and a very domestic-looking frilly apron while I prepared a roast chicken for dinner. I chopped the onions very fine, just how he liked them. I put all of my effort and love into this meal… This would be the last home-cooked dinner my solider would get for a very long time.
My gloriously gorgeous husband scented his favorite dinner, and sauntered in to the kitchen with a panty-dropping smirk on his face. He unbuckled his gunbelt and let it crash to the floor before grabbing my waist from behind and pulling me flush against his wide, camouflaged chest.
"Mmmm", he groaned. "The food smells almost as delicious as you do, my wife." Eric's moist lips nipped along my ear, shooting tasty shivers down my spine.
Flashback (One month ago):
Eric woke me up this morning in the most delicious way – with his soft lips and strong hands roaming all over my skin. No woman on earth could resist his delicious touch, even at 4 am. After the earth-shattering wake up call, I watched, boneless and lazy, as his perfect naked ass got out of bed and strutted off to the shower, smirking at me over his heavily muscled shoulder. He saw me all spread out, naked and rumpled and staring at his butt… and he winked at me. Arrogant jerk. Gorgeous, arrogant jerk.
I fell back asleep while he was in the shower, and awoke to see him fully dressed in his forest camis and strapping on his gunbelt. Eric looked over and smiled at me, his genuine and loving smile, and strode over to kiss me on the forehead. I wanted more, so I grabbed his neck and pulled his lips to mine for a wet and lingering kiss.
He looked down at my chest – the sheet had slipped down, exposing my breasts. He kissed each of them too before reluctantly grabbing his keys and leaving our apartment. Completely content, I fell happily back to sleep.
I was feeling very domestic that afternoon, so after a long trip to the grocery store I put on a pink shirt-dress, wove my blonde hair into two braids, and put on the apron I was given at my bridal shower. I spent over an hour creating the most elaborate dinner I had ever attempted and shoved the roast into the oven to bake. The whole apartment smelled like heaven after about 20 minutes. I'm a domestic diva! I thought with pride.
Eric came home just as I was pulling out the roast. I slid in the pie I had made for dessert in the oven before ripping off my oven mitts and running into Eric's arms. I saw the amusement and happiness in his eyes as they took in my schoolgirl braids, pink jersey dress and apron. His fingertips pulled my face up from its snuggle-place in his wide chest and he claimed my lips with a sweet and urgent fire.
"Lover", he whispered hungrily, "dinner smells almost as wonderful as you do." Ooo, I loved it when he said that, and he knew it.
I blushed and beamed up at my very tall husband. The stormy blue seas of his beautiful eyes captured mine in the ebb and swell of emotion. Love, lust, hunger, freedom, safety… love… My heart was bursting and my lips were hanging open with words of joy that didn't exist. He understood. Those lips leaned down to capture mine, and the electricity of pure happiness zinged between us.
This unbelievable man was mine. Forever. Mine. My hands caressed down his wide shoulders, his bulging biceps, his corded forearms, and reached for his hands. I pulled my face away from his, intending to lead him into the kitchen for the rather impressive (for me) dinner I'd made just for him. Nothing could ruin this moment.
Nothing but this. There was a package in Eric's right hand. A thick, professional-sized envelope. I gasped before I even looked down at it. I already knew what the package was…
No, not again! My knees gave out and I crumpled to the carpet, dinner entirely forgotten. "Sookie!" Eric yelled and lunged to catch me. We both ended up on the floor, folded up together, his big strong arms wrapped around my waist and shoulders. He had dropped the package of deployment papers, and that hateful thing drew my eyes like a fucking tractor beam while my anxiety overflowed and cracked open the floodgates. I burst into gut-wrenching sobs, gripping so tightly to my husband that my fingers hurt.
My warrior had never been comfortable with me "leaking" as he called it, but he tolerated my outburst. For a while. I knew he had had enough when he started pleading with me to stop. "Please, please Sookie, stop crying!" Eric's voice cracked just a tiny bit. "Stop, please. I don't know what to do when you cry, my love."
Big bad Sergeant Northman was upset by a lil' crying woman? The insanity of the situation made me giggle. Eric looked at me like a dangerous mental patient as I managed to simultaneously laugh and sob in the gender-unique way that only women can accomplish.
He made me forget… and very soon I was breathless and my mind was completely blank.
"When?", I breathed. His large hand gently petted my hair.
"The 20th", he whispered back, his voice dangerously close to breaking. We both knew why…
I cringed, heartbroken, and snuggled closer into my husband's wide chest and kissed his silky skin. I was quiet for a while, listening to the sounds of the night.
"Where? How long?" I asked in a shaky whisper, breaking the charged silence.
"Al Kut. Twelve months, minimum", my husband replied just as quietly.
I held him tighter, squeezing his defined biceps like life lines. "I'm scared", I finally admitted. It was so difficult to say it; you would think that the years I had spent in this life would have helped me… but they did not.
I drifted off from sheer exhaustion. I was mostly asleep when I felt my Eric pull me more tightly against his long body… and I was almost certain that he whispered something. It sounded like…
"I'm scared, too."
I woke up the next morning in time to watch Eric pull his cami pants up his muscled thighs.
I waded through the swamp of lust, and reluctantly rediscovered the searing pain in my heart.
"Eric" I whispered in a tiny voice, my overwhelming fear coating his beloved name…
He climbed back into bed, pulled me tight against his chest and kissed my hair. "Don't worry, lover. It's only a year, and I promise to return home to you. I will always return to you."
I smiled. "Don't you dare take out the armor plates in the flak jacket this time."
My husband chuckled smugly and rolled on top of my body before mock-trying to get away. "hmm, now that you mention it, love… where is my Kevlar?"
"Oh, NO you don't!" I giggled and pulled him back down to my eager mouth.
Eric spent the next hour showing me how much he would miss me. His calming words, delicious lips and worship-worthy body made me forget every worry in the world… almost.
End Flashback
It was late afternoon on Thursday, and the sun glared harshly on the vast gravel parking lot. A wall of three-story gray brick barracks bordered the huge square area. My love was in formation far away from me and he was dressed in a fresh set of desert digi-camis (digital camouflage), a shiny black SAW strapped across his broad back and a standard-issue M16 dangling off his shoulder.
For the third damn time, I watched him march towards the bus that would take my whole heart away to Miramar, and then off to a horrible warzone… but this time, he broke formation – and command - and ran to me. In front of every superior on deck, and every one of his soldiers, he crushed me to his chest, yanked my face up to his, and crushed his hot mouth against mine. Eric gave me the most passionate farewell kiss I could wish for. Our love poured out through our wet, moving lips, and I finally got the kiss I had missed out on years ago. He left me breathless, and gave me an emotional look in the eye. His furrowed forehead rested against mine.
"I love you, my Sookie", he breathed intimately in my ear… and then he ran back into position, guns strapped all over him. I realized that this moment was exactly Eric. He could love so deeply, but he sure as hell could defend not only himself and his wife, but his country. He is a fierce warrior… but he is MY fierce warrior.
Trembling, I watched as my one true love boarded that damn bus. I still had the feel of his warm kiss tingling on my lips… his delicious breath on my ear.
I spotted my husband in a window as the bus pulled away. I whispered to him, hoping he understood:
"My life, my love" My stomach had a sudden, hot series of pains and I grabbed my tummy with both hands before looking up again.
The windows of the bus were tinted and dark, but I swear I could see Eric's broken face – and his lips moved…
On my life I would swear that his retreating mouth formed the heartbreaking words that neither of us had mentioned this sad day; the words that, we knew, would have only twisted the knife of agony in deeper. And they did.
"Happy birthday, my love."
My chest was too hollow and empty to even cry. Yes, hollow and empty… a void. So it was with painfully dry eyes that I gave Eric a tiny smile and raised my hand in broken farewell.
I had one last look at the bright blue gaze of my personal heaven before the bus turned a sharp curve… and my love was gone. Again.
Amelia gently grabbed my hand and tugged me toward Eric's red sports car that would be mine now for the next year. My best friend coaxed my catatonic body into the passenger's seat, knowing full well that I was in no state to drive, and shut the door for me. God help me, the car smelled like him. His cologne and the musky, delicious scent of his skin enveloped me, teased me. I knew without a doubt that I would be ignoring my range rover to drive this car for a very long time, just to be immersed in this wonderful smell…
…And that is what finally did it. After month of being strong and solid… a month of calmly packing and preparing, of signing wills and POAs, of possible funeral arrangements, of brave smiles forced towards the world while my heart screamed in terror, thirty plus days of saying "I'm ok"… and the iron shell I had created around my sanity was cracked and shattered by the smell of a fucking car.
My friend was still walking around to the driver's side door when I lost it. I screamed and doubled over in the sweet-smelling seat. Amelia yanked the door open in a frenzied panic and dove inside, her arms wrapping around my shaking shoulders as I choked out my first gut-wrenching sob.
"Shhh, Sookie, Shhh…" Ames' voice was pained, and a few drops of wetness on my shoulder let me know that she was crying, too. "It's ok, honey", she crooned in my ear as she rocked us gently. "We know how good he is at what he does. Eric will be fine." Her surprisingly strong arms held me lovingly as I begged myself to calm down.
My best friend rocked me, arms tight around my shoulders in the small space. "I wanted to wait until I got a few drinks into you for this, but I need to see you smile right now", Amelia reached back behind the driver's seat, pulling out a box wrapped in pink Disney-princess paper with a big purple bow. "Here. Don't worry, Eric said it was ok."
I took the box and tried my best to dry my eyes, too distracted to fully absorb what she just said. The package was so cute that I almost didn't want to open it.
"Thanks, Ames, you shouldn't have. It's so adorable! You really do know me…" Amelia smiled and rolled her eyes. "Comeon, min syster, open it!"
I sniffled and smiled wearily before tearing open the princess wrapping paper. What I found made me shriek and blush like crazy – the gift was a hot-pink rabbit!
Amelia loved my reaction! We had been joking for weeks that I was going to need one, but I didn't think she would actually get one for me! "Holy crap!" I laughed. "Uh, thank you?" I gave her a blushing, happy smile.
"Hahaha!" she laughed, "Don't worry. Like I said, I asked Eric about it and he was all on board with this present as long as – and I quote – 'it isn't bigger than I am'." The two of us burst out laughing and I looked at the vibrator. "No", I choked out between giggles, "I don't think he has to worry about that."
"So I've heard", Ames giggled some more and I hugged her tight.
"Thank you sweetie", I gave my best friend a watery smile, "Not just for the present, but just for… being you. I love you." A new, fresh batch of fat tears trailed down my cheeks.
"I love you too, and we'll get through this year together, you hear me?" Amelia grabbed my chin and looked me straight in the eye.
"Yeah", I half-sobbed, "we will."
My best friend revved the car to life and drove us away from the 33 Area. "Good, now let's go get silly-drunk, birthday girl!"
I smiled at her enthusiasm and stowed my pretty new toy by my feet. And just as easily as my wall of strength had fallen down, it was built back up in an instant.
Brave Sookie showed back up to face the world head-on.
…And quietly prayed that my gorgeous, arrogant husband kept the armored plates in his flak jacket this time.
Yo: Reviews are nice *hugs*