A/N: Spoilers for 3x14 On My Way. I don't know if this is good or not. I wrote it last night while still freaking out. Please review (:
Beep…beep…beep…
That's all I hear when I wake up. Slowly but surely, I open my tired eyes. I realize I'm in a hospital bed with thin, white sheets draped over top of my legs. Nobody is here waiting for me to wake up.
Beep… beep…beep…
That's all I hear as I lay on my bed alone. I don't know how much time had passed. No nurse has come to check up on me. I slowly glance around the room. Bouquets of flowers sit on the window sill and bedside table. Daisies, my favorite. The cards are too small to read from my bed. I try to speak, but I'm stopped by a tracheotomy tube that is lodged down my throat. It hurts. I realize my whole body hurts. My left leg is casted, my right arm as well. My head hurts. It's wrapped in gauze, from what I can feel. The light hurts my eyes and I have a migraine.
Beep…beep…beep…
It feels like forever has passed, but it's only been a few minutes. I just keep staring out the window into the sun that's peeking through the trees. It looks like it's smiling. The weather looks warm and the bit of snow we got in Lima is melting slightly. I just want to go outside; the hospital room is stuffy and hot.
Beep…beep…beep…
I finally hear footsteps shuffling toward my room. My eyes perk up a bit, anxious to see my visitor. The door cracks open a bit, and a familiar figure emerges. Dressed in holey jeans and a forest green t-shirt, a tall man walks toward my bed. I immediately notice that he cut his hair. His Mohawk is shorter, and I like it better that way. He's carrying another bouquet of flowers, orange daisies, in his left hand and a brown teddy bear under his arm in which he almost drops when he sees my eyes open.
"Quinn…" he half whispers, half yells.
"Hi…" she replied, in a tiny whisper, as much as she can force out.
"Let me get a nurse,"
Beep…beep…beep…
A nurse arrives a short while later with a doctor. They both greet me with a soft smile and ask Puck to leave the room as they assess me. First they tell me that I have nine broken bones, including ribs and my skull. Next, they poke and prod at me, take a few blood samples before they allow Puck to stand at my side while they run one final test.
"Quinn, can you do one thing for me?" the doctor asks.
I nod.
"Tell me if you can feel this," he says and he pokes the back end of his pen into my calf. "Did you feel that?" he asks.
I shake my head. I didn't feel it. My eyes start to water.
"I'll try again," he announces. Again, he pokes the back of his pen into my leg with force, but with no luck. I still can't feel my legs. I am paralyzed.
Puck squeezes my hand as I cry.
Beep…beep…beep…
I must've fallen asleep, because I open my eyes and my mother is at my bedside, along with Puck who is still holding my hand.
"Quinnie," she whispers, hugging my neck.
I give her a soft smile, but it's broken. I'm not happy. I remember that I can no longer walk. I have lost feeling from the waist down. I wish it was all just a bad dream. I guess it's better than being dead…
I feel so tired, but my mom is taking to me, crying. My eyes are feeling heavy as she strokes my head. It hurts so much when she does it, that I yelp in pain. She pulls her hand away quickly and looks at me with apologetic eyes. I understand she's sorry, but it begins to bleed and my stitches are ripped open. I hold my hand up to my head to try and slow the bleeding, but the gauze is turning a deep red color. A nurse is called, and I am put to sleep.
Beep…beep…beep…
I wake up again and Puck is still sitting in the same chair to the side of my bed. He's sleeping now. I lay in my bed and bite my lip. I feel gross, I need a shower or something and a glass of water. I reach for the pitcher sitting on the table beside me, but I can't quite get a grip on it. It falls to the floor with a clunk, which wakes up Puck. I look over and he looks at me confused and then notices the water that I have mistakenly spilled all over the tiles. He rushes over to the water and mops it up with several tissues, then saunters to the bathroom and gets me a glass of water from the tap. I don't like this. I don't want to be helped with everything for the rest of my life. I'm independent… or at least I used to be.
I begin to cry, again. I've done a lot of that since I woke up. This isn't very fair. All I've ever known is heartbreak, challenge, disappointment. I just need something to make me happy. And then I hear a guitar strum…
Beauty Queen of only eighteen,
She had some troubles with herself…
I got lost in the music and closed my eyes for a minute, listening to Puck sing. It brought back memories of when he sang to Beth while I was pregnant. He lay in bed with me and sung "Beth" to my baby bump. Beth kicked and Puck chuckled and continued to sing softly. I remember feeling something unfamiliar. I remember feeling happy…
I don't mind spending every day,
Out on your corner in the pouring rain.
Look for the girl with the broken smile,
Ask her if she wants to stay a while..
And she will be loved,
She will be loved.
As he continued to sing, I remembered the first moment I saw Beth. She was tiny and pink, but she was so perfect. She was everything I could ask for and more. The second I held her, I felt as if nothing in the world could go wrong. She was my beautiful little girl and I'd love her forever. And nothing pained me more than having to say goodbye to her when we gave her up…
I don't mind spending every day,
Out on your corner in the pouring rain…
Try so hard to say goodbye…
As Puck concluded the song, my eyes welled with tears. He smiles, blinking back a few tears of his own. He opened his mouth to speak, but the closed it and laughed a bit. I looked at him, confused.
"I know this sounds crazy," he paused. "And I know you can't speak, so don't. Just listen."
I nodded.
"When I heard you were in an accident, I denied it. There was no way the fabulous Quinn Fabray was hit by a truck. I kept telling myself that it was a stupid lie or a stupid dream but when I came to see you the day after the accident, the truth hit with like a huge tidal wave. I saw you laying here, just as you are now, but with unhealed cuts and bruises. You looked bloody and beaten up, but you were still beautiful. You have always been beautiful. It took me something this huge, this horrible, to knock some damn sense into me to realize that you're the one for me, Quinn Fabray. You believed in me. You are the only one who has truly made me happy. You gave me a beautiful little girl, whom I will love forever. You make me feel special and worthy. You are smart, you are kind, and you are talented. You're everything I want."
He shook his head, looking at the floor and grabbing his Mohawk. "You're all I've ever wanted. I'm proud of you. Every single horrible thing you've been through, you've gotten through it. That's a little thing called courage, and I admire that about you, Q. You're stronger than you think, you know."
I smile, realizing that Puck is the only person who has truly made me happy in my whole life.
"So, now that I got that off my chest," he laughs, "I want to ask you a question."
I look at him with eyes that tell him to continue.
"Will you be happy with me, Quinn? Will you make me happy every day from now on, like you have in all the days that have passed? Can we be happy together? Will you be mine?"
I nod, tears streaming down my cheeks. My eyes are red and I'm crying, but I'm so happy. Despite the car accident, the paralysis, this huge mess, Noah Puckerman has made me happy, just like before. "Yes," I force out. "Of… course."
He gets out of the chair and wraps his arms around my neck gently and carefully. He kisses my gauze-wrapped head and my matted hair and whispers "I love you."
"I love you, too," I choke.
Beep…beep…beep…
I am released two weeks later, in a wheel chair. At home, my room is being moved to the main level, but for now I sleep on the couch. I'm not allowed to go back to school for a while yet, but I miss Glee. I sing to myself when I'm home alone, but it doesn't help very much. Puck comes over after school every day. That helps.
He tells me Beth came to visit me in the hospital. She clung to Shelby when she saw me. She was scared. I looked scary to her. Puck took her from Shelby and set her on the edge of my bed. He explained to her what had happened to "mama," and she took her tiny hand, wrapped it around my finger, and kissed it. I would've given anything to see her there that day.
For now, I'm just trying to get better. I had a major concussion, which has left me with terrible migraines, and my broken arm and leg are both healing. The worst part is the wheel chair, but Artie promised me he would show me the way of the road with this thing. The best thing, however, is that Puck is here with me. Through all of this, he's made me happy again and that's really all I ask.