Author's note:
I haven't written Inkheart fanfiction since grade 6 holy crap. Anyways I wrote this at 1:30 in the morning and it's complete crack, not to be taken seriously at all.
It was a normal day in Capricorn's village. The birds were singing and the sun was shining. Basta, who had just been fucking shit up for the maids, strolled along the cobblestone pathways. Yes, it was an extremely normal run of the mill day. Basta suddenly came to a halt when he saw his arch rival, Dustfinger. "Hello Dirtyfingers." He sneered. Dustfinger gave him the middle finger and walked away. "what a fucking asshole I can't believe he did that" Basta thought to himself. Yes, this was a completely normal day in the village except for one thing. A certain stuttering reader was about to fuck shit up completely. Darius, who had been locked away in a closet with some paper and a pen, giggled manically. "Today's the day I show all these motherfuckers what's what." He thought to himself as he began to read aloud. "Basta, who had never considered these feelings before fell completely in love with dustfinger and by love I mean lust. He wanted to have sex with Dustfinger so badly." Meanwhile outside, in the wonderful sunshine, Basta saw Dustfinger and felt the urge to kiss him. Basta looked down at his pants and realized he had an erection. "what the actual fuck!" Basta yelled. Meanwhile, back in the closet, Darius was still reading "And Dustfinger wanted to be fucked by Basta. He wanted to make out with him and touch butts and dicks." He read. Outside, Dustfinger saw Basta and was filled with lust. He walked over to Basta and stared at Basta's raging erection. "You need some help with that?" He asked seductively. Basta nodded. The two started to passionately make out. They were gonna do the do right then and there in the grass when Gwin interrupted. "Stupid marten!" Basta growled. He shoved Gwin out of the way and continued to kiss Dustfinger with a mighty need. Dustfinger moaned. They were both naked in the grass. "oh Basta!" Dustfinger swooned. "Hell yeah that's right hell fucking yeah say my name." Basta said. Then Dustfinger looked at him straight in the eye and said "Dustfinger me, daddy Basta" This made Basta cum. He moaned extremely loudly. He also fingered Dustfinger's asshole. Dustfinger moaned. There was a lot of moaning going on and it's extremely surprising that no one heard and wondered what the fuck was going on. Back to Darius, who was writing furiously "And then the shadow appeared, in all of it's t-terrifying glory" he said, stumbling over the words a little. The shadow appeared in the village. Flatnose and Cockerell who were busy fucking shit up saw it and shit their pants. Darius read on "The shadow, fell completely in love with Dustfinger's tame marten, Gwin." The shadow floated on over to Gwin was and enveloped him in all his creepy shadow glory. The two ended up getting married and Gwin learned to talk and he bought a farm in the MIDDLE OF NOWHERE. They were happy together. Basta and Dustfinger however, could not understand what had just happened and never repeated it to anyone ever, except Basta still masturbates to the idea.
Fin
Author's notes:
Thanks to Shayna and Tuds for the ideas. Tuds gets credit for the line "Dustfinger me, Basta daddy." Shayna get's credit for having the shadow fall in love with Gwin. This was a wild ride, thanks for reading. Reviews, whether positive or negative are appreciated!