Disclaimer: Though I love FF12, I do not own it.

Perfection

Were I you for just a day, I would fail. Not because in your place I would find myself incapable of success, but because I do not believe you capable of failure without assistance, and 'tis high time you took (another) fall. To put it plainly:

Beloved knight, I fear that this inability to fail will be your death.

You likely think it sadistic of me to suggest that you defy your nature. Allow me to explain myself.

You constantly hold yourself to a higher standard, and I accept that. I myself would do well to emulate you. However, you in turn would do well to learn from me the difference between your sworn duty and your self-imposed penanace for sins already forgiven and crimes never committed. I doubt you would understand.

For two people who seem so similar, our hopes, our values, our very dreams are so different...

Yet though we are nothing alike in our madness, I cannot help but feel that our method is the same. I am certain that you would not believe me were I to tell you this, that you would deny any resemblance to me.

At times, I know you far too well. I know your desire for perfection. I know all the flaws in yourself that, to your eyes, are magnified a hundredfold. I could well know you better than you know yourself.

You would agree with me if I voiced this opinion, as you always do, and then say that most know you "better than you know yourself."

…and only you and I would know the lie.

Maybe 'tis the way you look at me that gives rise to these thoughts of failure, because failure is human and human is imperfection, and imperfection is beautiful, and the way you look at me…

You see me as though I am perfection. I know not how much longer I can live up to your expectations, or even if I have already betrayed them, though my fondest desire is that I have not yet failed you. And yet…

For whatever reason, you seek to live up to this form to which you have so carefully molded me when it should be the other way around. I should look to you, knight. There is so much weakness in me, so much uncertainty and doubt…

The others see it. Why is it you cannot?

Maybe—and this is the difficult part—these thoughts that I have voiced are what draw me to you. Maybe I simply want to see myself invincible through your eyes. Maybe I want to show you my imperfections and scream, "We're the same!"

Or maybe, just maybe, I really want…

But what I really want matters not. I know you, and I know what you would say to my confession: "I cannot."

…and only you and I would know the lie.

EDITED: April 3rd, 2007

CY: Thank you to everyone who reviewed with guesses. Special thanks to those of you who took the time to write those massive reviews explaining your guesses--those helped a lot. I tried to make it quite obviously Ashe to Basch, and did my best to clean up the beginning, which seemed to be the most iffy part for everyone. Hopefully it's better now? I'll probably end up revising it again, mercilessly cutting out all the useless phrases I left in just because they "sounded pretty"...