Beloved son
silvery shadows, green and gold
that's what I see in your eyes
when you smile at me without seeing me
wisdom, far beyond your age
longing and loneliness
Even when you are with your family
My son, what kind of power is it,
That lies within your gentleness?
How do you manage to smile at someone softly
While at the same time you put mockery and contemt into your gaze?
Because that's what I see in your eyes
Each time your fanclub lies at your feet
Oh, those poor girls
They melt away, when they bask in your smile
Without paying attention to the hardness in your eyes
There it is again, this golden light in your eyes
When you think you're alone in the greenhouse
A golden brightness surrounds your form
Like sunshine - but outside it's raining cats and dogs
The plants feel comfortable in your presence
I see your roses, so unnaturally beautiful
red, yellow, even black, blue and violet ones
They bask in your presence
I remember, last week
When some children were playing on the street
Their ball flew into our front garden
Into the pansys*
Little Shuuichi gave to me
You know how much I love these flowers
After you threw the ball to the children,
they disappear - it's dinner time
You are sure nobody sees you, don't notice
that I'm watching you from the window
Golden light surrounds you
as you lay your hands between the crushed flowers
and I see - see how they recover
You talk to them, tell them how much you love them
for making me happy with their sight
I know you're not like other children
Or should I say teenagers, young adults?
then, when I carried you under my heart
the doctor told me you would die
Your heart was too weak, he said
but just when I began to accept your approaching death
I felt you kicking with renewed strength
a miracle, the doctor said
I would really love to know, who or what you are
I had felt it within my heart
When the flame of my unborn child died
You are so gentle and friendly
The perfect son
Are you an angel, that took the shape of my child?
Or a spirit of nature?
Will you reveal your secret to me,
When you think the time has come?
Or will I never know?
You look at me, and I see your confusion
Do you suspect, that i can feel it?
Absorbed in thought, you play with a lock of your hair
It is of silver
You seem to have made up your mind
I can tell from the expression on your face
It is saturday
But when I wake up, I hear you rummaging in the kitchen
Usually you like to sleep in
Whenever the occasion arises
My husband and his son are gone for the weekend,
for fishing - so we've got the day for ourselves
Time for a confession? It almost seems so
You open my bedroom door
A rich breakfast on the tray in your hands
prepared with love - but only for one person
Two roses you brought along
One red and one white, but both are still in buds
you look at me, hesitating
We need to talk, you say
You don't seem to feel very well
In your eyes I see love, but naked fear as well
Fear of rejection?
I smile at you
I know, I say, are you going to reveal your secret to me,
That you've been carrying for so long?
you look at me in astonishment
You seem to be relieved,
That I offered a fitting prelude to your confession
You take one deep breath and start your tale
Your almost talk the whole day
It is late in the afternoon, when you stop speaking
You gaze into my eyes - searching
Your fear makes my heart contract painfully
I put all my love into my smile
And feel happy, when you slowly relax
Reveal your true form, i ask you, and you breathe in audibly
Am I sure about this?
I nod
This golden light again
Your frame begins to blur
You become taller, more muscular
And you are beautiful
A soft summer's breeze enters through the open window
And plays in your silvery mane
The big triangular ears twitch slightly
as you listen to the song of the birds
Your Foxtail - I'd like to pull it
Like a little child...
How would you react to this, creature of the wilderness?
You may claim to be a demon
For me you will always stay my beloved son
A son, the gods equipped with a special gift
Because they love you just as much as i do
And the two buds begin to bloom
~owari~
(c)00/08/31
ShinimegamisScythe
the meaning of the flowers got lost. The german word for pansy is Stiefmütterchen,
which is an endearment for Stiefmutter (=stepmother). And, as you know, Shiori is the
stepmother of little Shuuichi