So this was a very quick little write up I did tonight (well this morning actually) I am in the same position as Castle... My best friend has recently got a girlfriend. As you can tell I'm the jealous best girl-friend. As you will notice I had to change he too she in order to make it in Castle's perspective. I have been dealing with my predicament in normal teenage girl fashion listening to Taylor Swift and plenty other love songs and watching movies like Pride and Prejudice (Yes if you are reading my other story, I was watching Pride and Prejudice whilst writing the third chapter hehe.) And now that I have started writing fan-fiction I thought I would give this a try, writing is a nice way to let go of my feelings.
I don't own Castle
I'm sure everyone has wanted something they couldn't have. Maybe it was a toy you wanted when you where younger. Or perhaps it was a candy bar or even a dog. However these things are not a person.
Have you ever wanted someone that you can't have?
That someone makes you feel butterflies in your belly. That someone knows you inside and out. They have your back, Always.
They have this ability to make you smile and laugh even on your worst of days, it's almost like they have a super power.
You are so close, but yet your miles apart.
You can see something they can't. You can see the possibility of something more, something more extraordinary.
You wish you could have that happy ending, like in the books you read growing up. You can picture it, yet you know it hasn't got a chance in happening. Happy endings don't have a chance of happening, if the story doesn't even get a start.
When you see them with someone else, knowing that you missed your chance...
It hurts, right were the butterflies play in your stomach. The butterflies are still there but it's as if they are as broken as you are.
When you're with her everything is so much brighter, it's her smile that accomplishes this. It's infectious. She means more to you than you could ever say. Close friends wonder why were not together, but we are reminded all too quickly that they aren't yours to hug, to laugh with, to be with.
She can see through you about many things but the fake smile you put on has become almost second nature to you, that no one can actually tell the difference.
Sometimes you want to desperately call out as they walk away. But you leave them to walk out, because she isn't yours and probably never will be. Better to keep it to yourself than ruin her happiness, it wouldn't be fair.
Seeing them together is a punch in the gut straight to the broken little butterflies that refuse to go away. You wonder if that's how you would act together, hands holding tightly, little smiles to each other and almost nose to nose. The idea that you might have to keep enduring the sight is killing you.
The only thing you have got him on is that you're her best friend, always have and always will be.
The idea of use has probably never crossed her mind.
Why would it? She has the perfect boyfriend.
And after two years you would think my little crush would have gone away and not grown into love. But that's the thing with love we can't help it, no matter who we fall for, because the heart wants what the heart wants.
Sooooo I hope that wasn't to plain or depressing for you to read it's not really my style of writing but I thought if the feelings are there than may as well use them right?
Thanks for reading!