Hello everyone! This is my very first twilight story, and I hope everyone enjoys it. I had this idea for a while, that Bella doesn't forgive Edward at first but he eventually earns her forgiveness. There aren't very many stories like this that I could find (if you know any, please PM me the title of the story; I love those kinds!) so I decided to write one myself. This story takes place during New Moon, in the beginning of Chapter 23. I know I use lots of parts from the actual book, but that is just the first chapter where the story line starts similary. It won't be like that in the future!

Also, I'll be posting chapters that are about 1,000 words every 2 days.

Note: Stephenie Meyer has all rights to twilight, not me

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I had the sense that I had been asleep for a very long time; my body was stiff, like I hadn't moved once through all that time either. I let out a groggy groan, rubbing my hands over my eyes. I had finally gotten to see Edward again, but it happened under less than perfect circumstances.

A time where we were both about to be killed.

I vaguely remembered the thinly veiled threats that the Volturi has left us with. The ultimatum was that I either turned into a vampire or died. It had been what I wanted before, but know I was starting to doubt myself. I didn't want to be turned into vampire without Edward by my side.

As my mind began to wake up, I noticed a pair of strong, cool arms around me. I froze, wondering who it could have been.

"Are you alright my love? Did I frighten you?" Edward asked, his metallic pitch-black eyes searching my face.

"I'm fine," I responded. Surprisingly, my voice was steady and cold. I was glad it didn't tremble; I didn't want Edward to see how much he had hurt me. He tooked taken aback at my coldness and abruptness, but he quickly gathered himself again.

"Bella, my love, I am so sorry for-"

"Stop," I demanded. I didn't want for him to try to place the blame for this whole fiasco on himself. "It was an accident. He said she said. It just got out of control. Everyone is fine so stop taking the blame on yourself."

Edward looked shocked and slightly angered. "You think I'm attempting to apologize for Volterra?"

"Well as far as I can tell you haven't made any other mistakes. So yes."

He gave out a strangled cry. "Of course I made another mistake! I left you, here alone in Forks! That was easily the biggest mistake I have ever made in my entire life! I left you here with those mongrels," he let out a vicious snarl, "and I left you unprotected!"

"Stop," I demanded yet again. "You can't save me every time Edward. You don't need to go through all this guilt for me. Jake and the tribe as been protecting me from Victoria. I'm fine."

Edward's eyes narrowed at the mention of the pack. "Those werewolves will be an issue."

I jumped off of my bed, incredulous. How could he think that the pack was an issue?

"I'll have you know that the pack was there for me when no one else was. They were the only ones who stuck by me and helped me when you shattered me by leaving."

Edward winced at the mention of his departure. "Bella," he said, crouching in front of me, "can you let me explain why I did it?"

I simply raised an eyebrow.

"You weren't going to let go," he whispered, "I could see that. I didn't want to do it—it felt like it would kill me to do it—but I knew that if I couldn't convince you that I didn't love you anymore, it would just take you that much longer to get on with your life. I hoped that, if you thought I'd moved on, so would you," he looked at me with his black eyes, and I noticed that I didn't feel very dazzled. Edward was losing his touch. "I have to be a good liar."

I froze. Was everything he told me a lie?

He shook my shoulder, trying to loosen my rigid pose. "Let me finish! I'm a good liar, but still, for you to believe me so quickly." He winced. "That was... excruciating."

"Imagine what it felt like me me," I drawled. I tried to play it cool, to make sure he didn't find out just how much his words had hurt me that day. I already knew I wasn't going to forgive him immediately. The pain was still to fresh.

"But I never imagined it would be so easy to do! I thought it would be next to impossible—that you would be so sure of the truth that I would have to lie through my teeth for hours to even plant the seed of doubt in your head. I lied, and I'm so sorry—sorry because I hurt you, sorry because it was a worthless effort. Sorry that I couldn't protect you from what I an. I lied to save you, and it didn't work. I'm sorry. But how could you believe me? After all the thousand times I've told you I love you, how could you let one word break your faith in me?" He pleaded.

"Well," I said, picking some imaginary lint off of my shirt, "It never made very much sense for you to love me. I didn't have anything to hold you in, to keep you next to me. Honestly, I think I was always subconsciously waiting for you to realize that I had nothing and leave."

Edward's face had the most pained expression I had ever seen, and I almost felt bad.

Almost.

"Anyways, I have to go now," I said, pulling a sweatshirt on and grabbing my car keys.

"Where to?" He asked. His eyes still held some of the pain from before.

"To your house," I responded rolling my eyes. Edward would probably try to distract me and make sure I didn't go. I decided to be stubborn about this. I did not want the entire town to be massacred by the Volturi because of Edwad's stubbornness.

"Why would you go there?" He questioned. He still didn't understand what I was trying to do.

"To see who is going to willingly turn me into a vampire. I'm putting my mortality to vote."