In the humble town of Rutherford, Ohio, it was a dark and stormy night. Ha ha, just kidding, no it wasn't. In this town, there was a man named Harry Solomon, and a man named Don Orville. Don was a police officer, teaching a self defense class. Harry was a Harry and a former City Council candidate. Remember all of that now.
At one of the self-defense classes, Harry was there, watching Don, in his "Federal Bikini Inspector" T-shirt, was showing some women how to, for a lack of a better phrase, kick people's asses. Harry volunteered as a perp, allowing the students to attack him. Later on, Don took a shot (or more), and Harry stated that he should "Inspect my bikini." Little did he know, that would expose their relationship, which was so much more than just a bikini inspection.
The couple met in 1996, and only started bumping uglies in 2000. They were in the room, Don was interrogating, and Harry, with his sexual charisma, somehow managed to turn Don gay. It was weird. Reality-bending weird. In real life, you don't just turn gay.
But Harry was special. Don was somehow turned on, so Harry and he decided to make out in front of a criminal. After about a minute, they decided to take it to the bedroom.
Don stated, "Harry..."
Harry replied, "Yes, my dear?"
"I have a weird fetish."
"Oh, Don, for my forever boy, anything."
"I'm always a slut for 'inspecting bikinis,' if you know what I mean."
"Alright, fine. But I am not getting those breast implants."
"Deal."
After Harry put on an uncomfortable, yet strangely comfortable bikini, Don got a boner. You know what that means. Don put his thingy onto Harry's thingy and they were doing it for the first time.
"Oh, Don, I'm busting a nut", Harry shouted, as he had an orgasm. Consequently, his thirsty, sexy, "seventy-five"-year-old body became quenched from its sexual urges, as both Harry and his body made strange ostrich noises. Suddenly, thecouple heard someone coming. It was the High Commander.
Not only had Dick, Harry's High Commander come, but his Lieutenant and Information Officer, Sally and Tommy, respectively, were there, too.
"Don, Harry, Don, what are you two doing? My God!" Sally screamed.
"Wow, Harry, you're nailing Don?" Tommy remarked.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE U DOING MOTHERFUKERS!?" Dick shouted.