6 a.m. day after Christmas
I throw some clothes on in the dark
The smell of cold
Car seat is freezing
The world is sleeping
I am numb
He pulled the car to the front of the apartment
She opened the car door and slowly slid into the passanger's seat
"Hi"
She blinked,holding her purse tighter against her chest
"You okay?" he started the car and turned on the small heater
She turned her head and stared sadly out the window, darting her eyes
from anyone who dared to look back at her
**********************
Up the stairs to her apartment
She is balled up on the couch
He mom and dad
Went down to Charlotte
They're not home to find us out
**********************
"Abby Lockhart?"
The magazine lay on his knees open, unread
"I'll be back" she stood up shakily
He hated the color of the clinic. Mint green. He didn't have to be
here. He really didn't want to be, in a room filled with sadness and
regret. But she needed him
"Do you need anything..after?"
She shook her head, her eyes on the nurse, like the nurse was on fire
"I'll be fine"
He had never seen her so weak
******************************
And we drive
Now that I have found someone
I'm feeling more alone
Than I ever have before
******************************
His eyes darted up to the clock every 5 minutes
Waiting
He nearly jumped out of his skin when the door opened
"Dr.Kovac" the nurse's face was void of emotion,"She's asking for you"
******************************
"Abby?" he poked his head into the room
She lay on her side, her back facing him
"Are you okay?"
She lay so still
Luka reached out and touched her back lightly, surprised by the
coolness of her skin."Abby, you don't want to do this, do you?"
Abby closed her eyes, tears racing down her cheeks
***********************
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
Off the coast and I'm heading nowhere
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
***********************
He leaned against the exam room wall,watching the nurses and doctor
wheel in the cold metal machines that looked like monsters
"Abby?"
Luka held the phone up to his ear, his sadness turning into rage when
he recognized the voice.Carter
"We could go to dinner, or I could come over later," he said, half
hopeful, half apologetic, until his tone completely changed into an
emotional apology. "I'm sorry, Abby, I just can't be a dad right now,
I'm not like Luka," he said almost without thinking, knowing the
statement just made things worse. Her silence proved that theory
right. "Say something, please."
Luka slammed the phone closed, breathing heavily
**************************
Can't you see
It's not me you're dying for
And now she's feeling more alone
Than she ever has before
***************************
The door opened a crack
He could hear her whimpering
"Dr.Kovac?"
Luka nodded, following the nurse back into the room
The nurse showed Luka to the chair they had placed beside the exam
table
He held her limp hand in his,stroked her damp hair with his other
hand as she cried. Abby cried openly in front of him
*************************
As weeks went by
It showed that she was not fine
****************************
She was dying
Punishment for what she had done
It was the only answer. The only sensible answer for it
The pain
God was punishing her
Abby clutched her stomach,feeling empty as Luka slowly pushed her in
the wheelchair to his car
Her whole inside was knots, pain shooting up and down her legs
It was like dying
Luka opened her door and touched her arm lightly, like she would fall
apart."Can you walk?"
Her body was turning on her
Her body and God
Luka bent down and wrapped her arms around his neck,lifting her in
his arms
Like they were newlyweds
*************************
They told me "Son,
It's time to tell the truth" and
She broke down
And I broke down
'Cause I was tired...
Of lying
************************
She had moved on.
He had been broken hearted,living in an apartment with two ghosts
Her and his wife
Luka looked at her sadly out of the corner of his eye as he drove
******************
Driving back to her apartment
For the moment we're alone
Yeah, she's alone
And I'm alone
Now I now it
*****************
She closed her eyes and tried to will the cramps away as he smoothed
the sheets
Between her legs were stained with blood
Luka pulled the quilt over her shoulders."Abby?"
"Can you lie with me?" her voice quivered
His brow wrinkled
"Turn off the light first.."
I throw some clothes on in the dark
The smell of cold
Car seat is freezing
The world is sleeping
I am numb
He pulled the car to the front of the apartment
She opened the car door and slowly slid into the passanger's seat
"Hi"
She blinked,holding her purse tighter against her chest
"You okay?" he started the car and turned on the small heater
She turned her head and stared sadly out the window, darting her eyes
from anyone who dared to look back at her
**********************
Up the stairs to her apartment
She is balled up on the couch
He mom and dad
Went down to Charlotte
They're not home to find us out
**********************
"Abby Lockhart?"
The magazine lay on his knees open, unread
"I'll be back" she stood up shakily
He hated the color of the clinic. Mint green. He didn't have to be
here. He really didn't want to be, in a room filled with sadness and
regret. But she needed him
"Do you need anything..after?"
She shook her head, her eyes on the nurse, like the nurse was on fire
"I'll be fine"
He had never seen her so weak
******************************
And we drive
Now that I have found someone
I'm feeling more alone
Than I ever have before
******************************
His eyes darted up to the clock every 5 minutes
Waiting
He nearly jumped out of his skin when the door opened
"Dr.Kovac" the nurse's face was void of emotion,"She's asking for you"
******************************
"Abby?" he poked his head into the room
She lay on her side, her back facing him
"Are you okay?"
She lay so still
Luka reached out and touched her back lightly, surprised by the
coolness of her skin."Abby, you don't want to do this, do you?"
Abby closed her eyes, tears racing down her cheeks
***********************
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
Off the coast and I'm heading nowhere
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
***********************
He leaned against the exam room wall,watching the nurses and doctor
wheel in the cold metal machines that looked like monsters
"Abby?"
Luka held the phone up to his ear, his sadness turning into rage when
he recognized the voice.Carter
"We could go to dinner, or I could come over later," he said, half
hopeful, half apologetic, until his tone completely changed into an
emotional apology. "I'm sorry, Abby, I just can't be a dad right now,
I'm not like Luka," he said almost without thinking, knowing the
statement just made things worse. Her silence proved that theory
right. "Say something, please."
Luka slammed the phone closed, breathing heavily
**************************
Can't you see
It's not me you're dying for
And now she's feeling more alone
Than she ever has before
***************************
The door opened a crack
He could hear her whimpering
"Dr.Kovac?"
Luka nodded, following the nurse back into the room
The nurse showed Luka to the chair they had placed beside the exam
table
He held her limp hand in his,stroked her damp hair with his other
hand as she cried. Abby cried openly in front of him
*************************
As weeks went by
It showed that she was not fine
****************************
She was dying
Punishment for what she had done
It was the only answer. The only sensible answer for it
The pain
God was punishing her
Abby clutched her stomach,feeling empty as Luka slowly pushed her in
the wheelchair to his car
Her whole inside was knots, pain shooting up and down her legs
It was like dying
Luka opened her door and touched her arm lightly, like she would fall
apart."Can you walk?"
Her body was turning on her
Her body and God
Luka bent down and wrapped her arms around his neck,lifting her in
his arms
Like they were newlyweds
*************************
They told me "Son,
It's time to tell the truth" and
She broke down
And I broke down
'Cause I was tired...
Of lying
************************
She had moved on.
He had been broken hearted,living in an apartment with two ghosts
Her and his wife
Luka looked at her sadly out of the corner of his eye as he drove
******************
Driving back to her apartment
For the moment we're alone
Yeah, she's alone
And I'm alone
Now I now it
*****************
She closed her eyes and tried to will the cramps away as he smoothed
the sheets
Between her legs were stained with blood
Luka pulled the quilt over her shoulders."Abby?"
"Can you lie with me?" her voice quivered
His brow wrinkled
"Turn off the light first.."