It's always the same.
NO. NO. NO.
It seems its the only words he knows how to say.
NO! NO! FUCKING NO!
Sorry. I usually don't ever cuss. Well, until I get pissed off. Now, these times happened when Eric Cartman was being a racist, inconsiderate asshole (There I go again!), or whenever I hear these words over and over again. Thinking about it even. They always come one after the other, each day, from Stan Marsh.
Yes, Stan Marsh was most certainly, if not, one of the most popular boys in our high school, and everyone knew his looks and personality were to die for. He could get any girl he wanted, and I wanted that girl to be me. But no, he didn't want me. According to him he didn't want anybody and he just hasn't "found the right girl for him." Excuses.
I don't understand why he doesn't want me back! I mean, we dated through most of elementary and the same with Junior High, but when it came time for High School, he just wants to just be friends?
But that's all we are. Friends. Good friends too. He knows I want to be more. I ask him out all the time, but considering my previous rants, you can all guess what he said.
So, I try to hang out with him as much as I can, get alone time with him, and even try to find future events to drag him to. We hang out reguarlly, but not as much as I'd like to and why? Because he's always with him. His best friend, Kyle Broflovski.
They were constantly seen together, and I practically had to pull them off of each other to stop talking. Everytime I would want to come over to Stan's house it's always, "No, Kyle's over." or "Can't, I'm hanging with Kyle today." It sickens me truthfully.
Now, to alot of you, it may seem like I'm acting like a total bitch, and that may be true at this instant, but this is how he makes me act. How they make me act. These are my real feelings. Not the totally misguiding, false feelings I try to show, and I think I'm pretty convincing if I do say so myself.
Today, I wasn't going to be turned down because of Kyle. I'm heading to his house right now, and there's no way Kyle will get in my way this time, hanging with Stan or not. I am going to make him mine when I reach that house. He'll notice I'm the right girl whenever I respark what we once had. What we still have, hidden away.
This is it. Right in front of me is the house. His house. Being the welcomed guest I always am, I let myself in, marching right up the steps to Stan's door. When I barge it open, it's full of furniture, a bed, and a few posters hanging on the wall, but empty of any life besides his dog Sparky that was just happily sleeping before I interupted.
"Oh, Wendy. It's just you."
I spin on my heel, seeing Mrs. Marsh standing in front of me, a few shirts hanging off her arm.
"Hello Mrs. Marsh. Sorry, I didn't mean to barge in here."
She shakes her head, still keeping the smile on her face.
"No, no. Don't worry about it." She swipes it away with her hand. "Now, Stan's not here. I believe he went out to eat with Kyle."
There's his name again. I nod and give her a thanks before leaving where I came, and as desperate as I may seem, I flip out my phone and text Stan, demanding where he was, but in the nicest way possible.
Seconds later my phone let out a silent ring, indicating a new text.
"Eating at the ice cream shop. Why?"
I don't reply. I just turn around and head right for him, toward the ice cream shop. Soon enough I'm there, and there they are. Sitting inside next to the open window was Kyle and Stan, laughing and looking like their having the time of their life. And then- and then, I see. I see why Stan wouldn't accept me.
Just as I turn around, tearing up, I hear my name. I turn back my head, seeing Stan standing beside Kyle, a confused look on both their faces.
"What're you doing here?"
I gape at him, only grabbing air, while he stares at me waiting.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Wh- What are you talking about?"
"You know how I felt about you, and you kept making excuses not to go out with me, and I see-" I turn my gaze, not wanting to even think about it. "You too.. kiss."
The words barely made it out of my mouth, I'm surprised he even heard it.
"Wendy, I-" He puts his hand on my shoulder, eyes seeking mine. "I didn't want to hurt you."
"Yeah, well good job. I was hurt way before this, but this just makes me look stupid. Foolish. I can't believe I couldn't see it." I shake my head to myself, talking now in whispers. "God, I'm such a fool."
I look at him, try to read his face, but his gaze is so clouded, I can't read it. It was my turn to make the next call, and I had decided this conversation was over. I walk back to my house yet again, ignoring Stan's calls from behind me. I didn't need him. I repeated this the whole way to my house. Lying to myself over and over.
I run into my room as I reach the top of the stairs, falling on my bed and screaming into my pillow, before reaching into my pocket to pull out my phone, deleting the new messages from Stan, and searching my contacts for Bebe.
"Hello?"
"Be-Bebe?" My voice whimpered into the phone, and she instantly picked up on this.
"Be there soon. Oh, cookie dough or ice cream?" I smile to myself. She so knows me. Maybe I will be alright.