So I've finally submitted something for SasoDei month~! As I've based quite a few of my fics from films, I've decided to go the safe route, and do it again. XD

"Sightseers" is a British film about a murderous couple; that is all. XD Naw, it's actually a really good film, and I'll have a great time writing it. I may even have to sneak a lemon or two in this as well, as lots of people have requested that I write a lemon...Also, as this is an English film, that includes a lot of English sights and references, I'm going to have to make Saso and Dei...English. I assure you, we're not that bad...XD

I'm going to get as much of this written as I can, and post up to two chapters a day, which will hopefully be rather long.

I do not own Naruto or Sightseers.

I hope you enjoy this chapter, please review!^^

Deidara's POV

I stood at the entrance of the living room, holding a cup of tea. My mother was sat in the center of the room, groaning loudly. This was typical of her. Of course, there was never anything wrong, she just craved for constant attention. She was like that ever since dad left, when I was 8. I slowly peered in as the woman's groaning came to a halt, and blinked. "Mum...?"

My mother let out a long sigh, her eyes fixated on the old, dated carpet. "Mum?" I repeated, still not gaining her attention. "Mum, mum...?". I ended up saying that word at least 20 times, before getting a reply from the old woman. She slowly turned her skinny face towards me, giving me a plain, blank look. "Are you alright, un?" I asked, standing in front of her.
"I was just thinking about Tobi." She stated, pursing her wrinkled lips. "He was my only friend."
"Mum..." I muttered, frowning at the greying woman. "I-I'm your friend...".
Slowly, she turned her head towards me again, glaring. "You're not a friend..." She announced. "You're just a stupid relative."

"I'm 19 years old, un!" I growled. "And I've finally found someone who likes me, and I like him, so we're going on holiday!"

Mum stood inches away, a look of anger plastered across her face. "You're running away, aren't you?". I watched her toddle across the kitchen, picking up a familiar leather leash. "From your guilt!" She scowled, throwing the leash onto the floor with the poor amount of strength she had in her arms.
"Don't do that with Tobi's lead, un..." I muttered, picking up the unused leash and holding it against my chest.

I stared in the mirror as mum brushed my long, blonde hair. "You've always had awful hair, boy." She muttered, gently brushing the long strands. "It's so thin, why can't it be like mine?"

Of course, I was used to the woman saying stuff like that. Ever since dad left, she had turned into a complete bitch. Despite always being horrible to me, and treating her only son like absolute crap, I couldn't bring myself to be mean to her- The woman had raised me. When dad left, she could have just given me away and started a new life, but no, she decided she would raise me alone. That's why I wasn't allowed to move out, because I was told to look after her, like she had for me.

"You've got awful split-ends." She stated, lightly tugging the bottom of my hair. The reason why it was so long, was mainly because the woman refused to let me cut it. She always complained that it was too long, and that I looked homeless, however whenever I announced that I would be getting it cut, she would burst into tears, and beg me not to.

She was a strange woman indeed.

I smiled at my boyfriend, Sasori. He was a little bit older than me, being 24, but there wasn't too much of an age gap. Sasori was a pleasantly unique character, and very attractive. Despite being short, he was rather petite and small-looking. He had a shock of red hair, which was lovely and thick. His skin was very pale, and smooth, and his features were cute, making him appear very young. He had large, light brown eyes, aswell as lovely thick eyelashes. If anything, I was envious of Sasori. However, despite being very pretty, Sasori certainly had his flaws.

Sasori appeared to be a very simple person, but he was far from that. For example, many would say he suffered from OCD, but he didn't. The red-head loved clutter, however that clutter must be perfect. Clean, in size order, and colour-coordinated. So he wasn't OCD, he was more of an OCD clutter-nut. I could name so many other flaws and strange things about him, however I think you'd find out for yourself another time.

"Danna!" I grinned, pulling the man into a hug. "You're here, un!"
"Of course I am, silly..." The red-head smiled, kissing my head. ",Have you got all your bags?". I nodded in reply, smiling.

"Dei, you didn't tell me your mother was an artist...?"

I frowned at the sound of Sasori's voice, coming from mum's office. "Danna..." I mumbled, standing by the door to the office. "You can't go in there, un...Mum will go mad..."
The red-head chuckled, stroking a picture of my old dog, Tobi. "I think she's long passed that point..."
"Danna, pleas-

"What's going on...?"

I frowned at my mother, who was standing about a meter away. "I-I told you no one should go in my room...", She growled, standing at the doorway.
Sasori smiled, not at all bothered by that. "Actually, Mrs Iwa, I was just admiring your artwork, it's amazing."
"Sasori was just looking, un..." I added, staring at the carpet.
"I don't want anyone invading my sanctum..." She hissed, entering the room and sitting in her armchair, glaring at Sasori.
"Shall we leave you here to look at your brushes, un...?" I asked, gently pulling Sasori out of the room.
"Just let me sit here." She demanded, her voice suddenly softening. "B-But...I could do with a cup of tea."

I nodded, looking down. "Okay, mum...".
"That would be nice." She added.
"I'm shutting the door now, un..."
"Okay."
"Bye, un..."
"Bye."
"Are you alright?"
"Yeah."
"Okay..."

Sasori burst out laughing as I closed the door. "She's mad...!" I glared at the red-head.
"Leave her alone, un..." I pouted, crossing my arms.
"Okay, okay~" He chuckled, pressing our foreheads together.

I helped Sasori load my many things into the caravan, watching as he made sure everything was in a perfect place, and looked ok. I giggled, shaking my head. "You have problems, Danna~"
"We all have problems, brat~" The red-head smiled, adjusting the basket of my knitting equipment. "I like your stuff."
I pouted. "I don't, un...".
Sasori tilted his head, readjusting the basket. "Why not...?"
"Well...I do...But at the same time, I'd be happy if it were destroyed, un."
The red-head chuckled, smiling. "Makes sense."

"So what were you like when you were young then...?" Sasori asked, sitting in the driver's seat of the car.
"Unhappy, un..." I muttered, looking down. "What about you...?"
The red-head shrugged, starting the car. "I wasn't really anything, I was...Invisible."
I nodded, chuckling. "What about you having red hair, un~?"
Sasori smiled, turning his head towards me in a joking manner. "Well, that's always a problem, isn't it?"

"He's not safe."

I snapped my head towards my mother, who was standing at the open window. I narrowed my eyes, shaking my head. "He is safe, un."
"It's not safe, going off with him..." She continued, glaring at the red-head.
"It is safe." I sighed. I felt really sorry for Sasori, who was still sitting next to me. Mum wouldn't stop nagging at the poor guy.
"I know way too many people who have had bad experiences on holiday, especially when in caravans." She spat.
"Like who?" I frowned, really wanting to just drive off.
"Well...My friend Edna; She changed so much after that holiday with her new husband...All I'm saying, is that you're going too fast with him too soon. You hardly even know him."

"Goodbye, mum." I seethed, slowly closing the window.
"You'll be back." The old woman stated, leaning in.
"I will, mum. In a week."

Sasori smiled, putting his seat-belt on. "Okay, we'll see you then, Mrs Iwa."
"...I don't like you." She plainly said, squinting her eyes.
"O-Okay...Well, see you then." The red-head smiled, turning towards the steering-wheel.

The old woman then glared at me, lowering her gaze. "Murderer."
"It was an accident, mum."

"So were you."

That chapter was very short, I know, but they get longer, I promise. XD I'm trying to get this story finished as soon as possible, and hopefully in time for the end of SasoDei month...Damn, why have I been so lazy!? DX

I apologize for my sloth-like personality, I assure you I don't just sit around all day...

Okay, I do...But still. DX

As you can see, Deidara's mother is a stupid bitch. For once, I've make her unlikable. 8D This fic will get a lot more interesting later, I promise. :3

I hope you enjoyed, please review!^^