Pressing my forehead against the cold window pane, I watch each individual snowflake, flutter and float gracefully through the air. I wonder how that must feel, to tumble and fall. To not know where you are going or what you're going to do when you get there. To not be safe and comforted, but risking everything you have, for the sake of that rush of adrenaline.
Today marks my sixteenth year of life, and yet I have never truly lived, having never stepped foot outside the house. I never knew my parents and I doubt I ever will. My mother came to this convent when she went into labour and died as she gave me life. As for my father, nobody knows who he was or what became of him.
"How can you know your future when you don't know your past?" That is what mother superior always says, anytime I hint towards what I want to do with my life. In her opinion, I would be much better suited to a life within the convent, but I have other plans.
Okay, I don't have any plans, but that's only because I don't know what I can do, not what I want to do. I know there has to be more to life than prayer, but anytime I ask about the world outside the convent walls, I'm just told to be quite and ask my question to god and he shall provide the answer, but so far, the only thing he has given me is curiosity to find out more, and I do believe there is more to life than this.
My breath fogs up the window pane and I use my finger to scrawl a phrase into the night sky. I read it aloud, "I believe."
Suddenly, the bolted window flies open and the cold air surrounds me in my lonely room. Snowflakes circle around me and grace the floor with their delicate landing. I try my best to shut the window, but I feel something fly over my head and into my room. I look around for the mysterious figure but find nothing. Taking a single match, I strike it against the sill of the window and bring it around the room, in search for this trespasser.
It was in the top corner above my bed that I saw the ominous figure looming over me. A shadow, with eyes that glowed out of his head, extending his arm towards me, his hand outstretched, beckoning me to join him.
I bit my lip and threw a fleeting glance towards my door. I could hear voices outside and knew mother superior could walk through the door at any moment. I had never been so scared in my life, but adrenaline coursed through my veins as excitement filled my body from the tips of my toes to the ends of my hair, and closing my eyes, I took hold of the hand that called me into an unknown world of adventure.
For the first time in my life, I left the convent grounds. This demonic angel wisped me through the streets of London, pulling me higher and higher into the air, so my toes brushed against the rooftops of the redbrick houses.
Before I knew it, I was face to face with big ben, and still travelling higher and higher. I held my breath and counted to three. I wasn't sure where I was going, but I was shrouded by a rich navy sky, sprinkles with stars. We grew closer and closer to one specific star.
"The second star to the right and on till morning". I had heard it before, somewhere, in a dream, perhaps? The shadow smiled back at me when I said that. He seemed... Sort of… Proud of me. I guess I was right. He was taking me to the second star, but I didn't know why.